17 syllables

I stole this idea
Write a brand new haiku
Winner gets dinner (maybe)

There are a few rules
All haiku forms are O.K.
Funny or somber

Get ready, set, go
Contest ends when I say so
Have good luck, poets

-t
recommended downloads:
Arlo Guthrie, Alice's Resturant

The Teeth of the Tiger

I just finished rereading Tom Clancy's The Teeth of the Tiger it's his best in a while.

In order, my top three favorite Clancy novels:
1. The Sum of All Fears (do not watch the movie ever)
2. The Cardinal of the Kremlin
3. Red Rabbit

-t

Dudes! Check me out!

Sweet man. You can totally Google me. (I love how that sounds just a little bit dirty).

Try it! "a20261" and BAM there I am.

The internet is a wonderful tool (for slacking off at work ;)


-Tom
recommended download:
Bob Schneider, The World Goes Around

So, I guess, you know, if you choose to look at it that way, technically, it's cheating...

So I have an interview. Here. Right here in this building, for this company, for this group. Not for this position though, I already have this position. The interview is for a BRAND NEW position. (please keep in mind that in this instance "new position" really means "same money, more work," but it's not like I'm killing myself to get all my work done now, right?)

BRAND NEW position. The first interview will be with my senior manager. Then an interview each with the two lesser managers. A three-part interview.

The breakdown:
1. Part One, Senior Manager - piece of cake. he's the one that recommended I apply.
2. Part Two, the less-senior of the lesser managers - he's only been here two weeks, unless I punch him in the face I don't see this hampering my chances.
3. Part Three, hype-coffee manager - See, he's hyper. He's "detail-oriented." He's nuts. And I just so happen to know that he has a prepared quiz he gives all candidates for this position. And, and this is where it gets technical, I happen to know where the quiz (and answers) are saved on the network.

So of course I'm going to print them out and review them before the interview! I mean, if I didn't, that would be like, that would be like not taking free money from a wallet that just fell out of someone's pocket! or, like ordering dinner at a resturant and then not taking off when the waitress takes too long to bring the check! of course I'm going to review the questions, and of course I'm going to memorize the answers.

Come on. Is it my fault that he stores everything in the same folder on the network, not only the spreadsheets we need to do our job, but also pictures of his dog and his family reunion? Is it my fault the document in question is labeled "Quiz_and_AnswerKey_for_SeniorPosition.doc"? I mean really? If you were hiring someone, wouldn't you want to hire that someone resourceful enough to find that quiz? or smart enough to recognize its value? I know I would.

On the other hand, I may want to hire them, but I'd also want to keep them away from my wallet.

Good luck to me.
-Tom

recommended download:
Bob Schneider, The World Goes Around
and
Led Zepplin, Fool In The Rain

I wanted to quit

I'd been back five minutes, maybe. Already I wanted to quit, to just walk away.

I sat down to find funds haphazardly scattered around my desk. Gershwin came over to tell me I had two budgets due tomorrow afternoon. Three outlook alerts popped up once my computer started, a meeting with management, a report that needs to be run every tuesday, and a program I run that should also have been run tuesday. Oh, also, one hundred sixty-three messages in my inbox since friday. Two of them relevant.

But then...

But then the PA on one of my tax-free's came over with a problem. A trade booked wrong, an incorrect date, and wrong income. I went right into problem-solving mode. It didn't even occur to me until just now that I had stopped thinking about quitting. Fifteen minutes, we figured out what was wrong, figured out how to fix it, and fixed it, and in doing so redirected my wanderlust.

What can I say? I like solving problems.

-Tom
recommended downloads:
R.E.M. - It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
and
Rod Stewart, Someone Like You

Day Five (Tuesday)

Ok, so, ALL DAY TRAVELLING....

Drive for four hours from Austin to For Worth. Barely make it to the airport on time. Then the flight was delayed. Spend forever on the plane, drifting in and out of consciousness. Barely, baaarely, make the connecting flight in Charlotte. Come back home to Boston. Go Red Sox.

Oh, and after being in Texas for the best part of five days, I'm totally getting a truck.

-Tom
recommended download:
Bob Schneider, I'm Good Now, The Way Life Is Supposed To Be, God Is My Friend
Arlo Guthrie, Alice's Resturant

Day Four (Monday)

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY

Something something DAMN IT IS SO HOT HERE IN TEXAS something something drive forever to get barbecue at the Salt Lick. No, seriously, forever. The directions are "take this road until it ends. turn left. then just keep driving, and you'll think you're in the middle of nowhere - and you are - and then just keep driving, and it's on the right." Good bbq. Then some bars, and Foulke blew another save and fireworks and swimming in the pool and some cuddling (details not to follow).

WOOO INDEPENDENCE!

-Tom

Day Three (Sunday)

I didn't know it was Sunday. Generally when I wake up I ask myself "do I have to work today?" and if the answer is "no" then I just stop thinking for the rest of the day right there.

This is why I didn't know it was Sunday. We did something, I'm sure eating was involved. I enjoyed myself. And John gave a tour of the Austin state house, which was one of the highlights of the trip.

-Tom
recommended download:
Morcheeba, Ten Men
and
Third Eye Blind, Never Let You Go

Day Two (Saturday)

A lovely lunch with John's parents. They are delightful, as was expected.

Then a lazy day of sitting at the apartment, swimming in the pool, and John playing downloaded versions of Civilization (the first one), and Indiana Jones (the Atlantis one). That took up most of the afternoon.

Tomorrow, up bright and very early for the long drive to Austin. Woooo.

Back again when I can ;)

-Tom

recommended download:
Christian Bale, Santa Fe (Newsies Soundtrack)

Night One (Friday)

Picked up from the airport (right on time, really). After a good lunch and some libations we then spent the afternoon chillin' in the apt. watching Harry Potter movies. It was decided to meet up with and old high school friend of my host and travelling companion and her new husband (howdy hs friend and husband).

We first ate at a nice tex/mex/salvadoran resturant. The food was very good, the conversation was even better. The three hs kids compared gossip on former classmates, the husband and I contributed with thoughtful, poignant, and humorous insights. I had a marvellous time.

The night proceeded with a trip to a local drinking establishment. Waiting in an unanticipated line to get in the girls were hit on by drunk men on the patio, and after running that gauntlet, we got in, past two very polite bouncers who let us come and go as we pleased (and as the circumstances demanded) throughout the night.

So we drank.

Everybody ordered whatever they had had at the resturant, then we did some shots, then someone ordered a round of Irish car-bombs. I don't know how it happened, but one of our party got very way too much drunk. I ended up drinking their car-bomb too, which yes, put me very close to the edge.

But the friend? The one of our party who drank too much? Not so lucky. That one crossed over the line. And after half an hour of sitting miserably in the bar, looking at a drink that could not be finished that person admitted to feeling nothing but a slight tingling in their extremities.

So I walked [read: carried] that person [read: dead weight] to the parking lot.
Where said person proceeded to spew alcohol, dinner, guts, and the kitchen sink all over the nicely kept grass. Oh well. (this is where the nice bouncers let me walk unmolested in and out of the bar to retrieve napkins, water, and the like...I don't know if you're reading, but thanks guys.)

The one recovered. I paid the tab. The group retired for the night.


And who knows what tomorrow will bring.

-Tom
recommended download: Lemonstone, Loss For Words

Texas

leaving with: nothing but my wits (also a book, a few changes of clothes, a little cash, and a desire to party the dickens out of this independence day weekend)

returning with: a hangover, a sunburn, a cowboy hat, a different book, and a refreshed enthusiasm for all things work-related (HA!)

in the meantime, enjoy the links, and try not to think too much about my FIVE DAY WEEKEND VACATION CELEBRATION IN TEXAS WITH SEX, DRUGS, ROCK AND ROLL, MUSIC, DANCING, AND FIREWORKS (ok, so probably no dancing or sex, but many fireworks)

enjoy working friday and tuesday.
but really, enjoy celebrating our independence.

-Tom

Lately

I cannot believe I have to come in to work tomorrow. That is ridiculous. My brain isn't working.
Also I can't believe John didn't post the conversation we had about this very subject. It was "hilario." Well, ok, I'm only guessing it was funny, it may have been nothing but drivel, perhaps even incorrectly spelled drivel. If that is the case, kudos to John for not posting. If it is not the case, if I am right, then you all missed an opportunity to read more of/about me, for which I know you will be very angry at (not with) John. So, John, I hope for your sake that it wasn't funny, I would not wish hordes of angry readers upon any blogger, but especially upon you.

No, that's a lie, I would definitely wish hordes of angry readers on some blogger, but none spring to mind (as my mind is performing sluggishly, on this, the second-to-last-day-before-I-get-the-hell- out-of-here). And, by the way John, I saved the conversation. So when I do get a chance to read it with a working brain we'll both know if it was funny, and then my friend we shall see. We shall see who is right, and who is dead.

With my ponderously slow brain (no, really, ponderously slow - it took two minutes to spell that phonetically) I have done zero work. Ask me what I was supposed to finish before leaving for VACATION. I'll tell you:
-- archive the Ireland fund -- archive the Treasury fund -- archive the new-guy-who-quit-after-two-months's funds -- start report for training focus group -- finish report for training focus group -- meet with training focus group (three times) -- present finished training project -- complete employee self-evaluation for semi-annual managerial reveiw --

I have completed none of those tasks. I have started none of those tasks. I am doing a bang-up job.

Happy almost vacation to all of us.

-Tom

It's a writer's block, get it?

Gah. I can't write.

Ok, it's not so much I can't write, as...I can't write.

Dammit.

Vacation. The word seems to hang in the air before me, a semi-transparent reminder that this is a four day work week, followed by a five-day no-work-for-five-days weekend, followed by a three-day work week. This floating hallucination is a terribly effective distraction from any and all work that is on my desk today. Also, the online scrabble game isn't helping any.

Which, maybe, is why I can't write. You see, at first, it was a game, a way to kill a little time before rates came in, and it was fine. Then, Skippy, a cubicle buddy of mine challenged me to a game. It was all over then. I fell right from "I'm only here because I'm a recent college grad and this is a steady paycheck, and oh, also it's airconditioned, so why not show up everyday, and as long as I'm here I'll do work, because it's easy and I'm good at it" to "Hey, listen pal, I graduated from college after having cruised, cruised, through four years in a very difficult major, and I know, I know, I'm smarter than you, just because, well, I'm smarter than just about everybody, you know? so of course I'm better at scrabble than you are, because let's be honest, you couldn't possilbly compete with me in a tic-tac-toe tournament, much less a sophisticated word-building game based on language and the participants' command thereof. bring it"

[abrreviated: from "Work? meh." to "assumed superiority," and in about three seconds flat]

So now scrabble's taking up a lot of my time. I stare at my inbox waiting for Skippy's next play. "Sin" ha. How does "Lozenge" sound? That's right, triple letter score on the 'z' and double word score. I'm also taking points for "Sing" because that's where I put my 'g' thanks.

BAM.

I can see clearly now

after
Originally uploaded by a20261.

And unlike Samson, my strength remains. (ok ok, just kidding, I didn't have any to begin with)

Two bits

The price of a shave and a haircut.

Are you all excited? Are you dying to see what it looks like? Are you relieved the locks have been shorn?

I'm convinced I look good in any situation, with any length hair, in any style.
Others are convinced I look better with short hair.
Well, others, today is your day. So get excited.

Stay tuned for illustrations
-Tom
recommended downloads:
Paul Simon, Kodachrome
and
Matt Nathanson, Wings

Locked-in

My mind has locked itself into Beach Mode. I'd forgotten the feel of sunburnt skin, of sand between the toes, of sun-streaked hair. I'd forgotten the feel of sunblock, plus heat, plus salt. I'd forgotten how much fun tossing a frisbee is.

But, like a hypnotist's victim awaking from a trance, at the snap of the fingers I remember again, and that's where I'm stuck now, permanently.

I figure it will take about three weeks for the office day-to-day to wash this feeling out of me, and probably about half that time for the sunburn to fade.

"Hey there, you get some color this weekend? eh? eh?"
"Yeah. I did. What did you do? Watch cable in air-conditioned comfort? Jackass. I did have a good weekend. You can take your James Bond marathon and shove it."

Back in beach mode. What a fun mode to be in.
and now some quick bullet points:
1. new profile pic is me with long hair, take note, because tomorrow's it's getting cut.
2. surprise party pics, for those who participated (and for those who wished they had), are up on my flickr page.
3. Sox are doing well, sweeping the Indians and the Phillies in a 6-0 road trip.
4. the tops of my feet are sunburnt, so's my neck, arms, and legs, but the feet hurt the most.

-Tom
recommended download:
Marcy Playground, Dog And His Master

Wiffleball

Wiffleball is dominating my free time now. I play when I get home from work (7-ish) until we can't see anymore (9:30-ish). Every few days we start talking about adding floodlights to the side of the house so we can play night games. I doubt the neighbor hood wouuld appreciate this, especially since playing wiffleball inevitably leads to yelling of all sorts (elated, angry, frustrated, general yelling-for-no-reason). We would most certainly be keeping them awake or interfering with their tv time.

I think we must be a little better than other wiffleballers. They play on grass, nicely-kept lawns, ground that is flat and consistent. We don't. After tearing up the tree in the front yard the area between the pitchers "mound" and shortstop is bumpy, uneven, and hazardous to ankles everywhere. After construction vehicles driving over the lawn all winter and spring the batter's box and first base line are uneven and below the level of the third base line. The changing ground cover affects play as well: the grass has been worn down to bare dirt on the pitcher's mound, batter's box, and first base line; between first and second the grass is particularly thick and slow. The first base line (running along the neighbor's driveway) has three small trees hanging over the basepath, just tall enough to take out your eye. The field is small too. Only about twenty-five feet from home to the sidewalk. Hitting it that far used to be a big deal, then we grew up. The homerun line is now past the opposite sidewalk, the street is live, and play is almost never stopped to allow cars to pass by.

It is the ultimate summer game.

-Tom
recommended download:
Marcy Playground, Sherry Fraser, and A Cloaking Robe Of Elven Kind

Fire Engine Red

Why are fire engines red?

Well, books are read. Magazines are read, too. Two and two are four, four and four are eight, eight and four are twelve. There are twelve inches in a ruler. Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. Queen Elizabeth was also a ship. Ships sail the seas. Fish swim in the seas. Fish have fins, Fins fought the Russians, Russians are called Reds, fire engines are always rushin', and that's why they're red.


Today is Thursday, June 23rd, 2005. Today is day three. Good morning.

I've tied out my morning income, a problem we had last night didn't roll-forward to this morning, so we're good. The mistake we made last night that needs to be fixed today is a small one, so that's no big deal. Yesterday's "Orange" post is the most-commented on post to date. Thanks to all you commentors.

In the next two weeks the employee semi-annual review is coming up. Our remaining manager now has the entire group to review, doubling his responsibilty. His reviews are expected to be late this time around.

Also in the next two weeks I will be going to Texas (again!). This marks my second trip to the Lone Star State, and the first time visiting another state during a national holiday. I promise to try and remember to take lots of pictures.

Also in the next two weeks I will be getting a haircut, probably just before I go to Texas. And speaking of Texas, who watched last night's Real World Austin? They all got cowboy hats.

And when I get back, planning for the afternoon of drunken fun-instead-of-work begins in earnest. Date: Friday, July 22nd. Mark your calendars, ask for the afternoon off, get ready to get stupid drunk on a day you would normally be working.

-Tom
recommended download:
Marcy Playground, Blood in Alphabet Soup, and Bye, Bye

ps. the riddle starting today's post will give you a clue to the color of the truck I'd like to get.

Orange

Orange
Originally uploaded by a20261.

I feel like more of a truck guy than an SUV guy anyway.

Silver

Silver
Originally uploaded by a20261.

And with the employee discount promotion they're offering now, I could save a lot of money

Red

Red
Originally uploaded by a20261.

The Chevy Colorado is looking pretty good right now.

Stretching my creative muscles

To: All Readers
Subject: THE PLAN

We will pick a friday. Some friday that is good for everyone. [read: some friday when everyone involved will be in the country, and, specifically, in boston]

We will all request that friday afternoon off. Or, we will just skip out of work. (I leave that decision to the individual's sense of propriety).

That friday, noon, we will gather at a pre-determined drinking establishment, and drink ourselves silly.

that is THE PLAN. rsvp in the comments section. date and location tbd by number and enthusiasm of respondents. respond early, respond often.

*this offer open to any resident of the continental united states or canada, provided they will be in boston on the appropriate day and time. please do not let living in another state put you off, whether you've lived there your whole life, or just moved there this week.

-Tom
recommended download: Rick Springfield, Jesse's Girl

Unpossible

Reading here at work would be a nice thing to do. Even if the book weren't very good, it would, at least, be something different (unless it's a book about work, but who are we kidding, I'd never read that book). The real trouble is finding a very good book. Like now. Because then I have to sit here and not read it, and think about not reading it. It's a fate worse than work.

Work, it's something I can handle. Many people out there, as I understand it, bear working because they believe, or recognize, that it is necessary. I don't. Well, conceptually, I guess I can understand that work is necessary, but I haven't accepted it, I haven't made it my own. I think I come to work because it's expected (this is also the reason I ranked so high in my high school class, scored so well on my SATs, got that scholarship and worked so hard to keep it). I am a slave to other people's expectations. It's true.

My progress is driven by outside forces. For example, I think I would like to go to graduate school. But I haven't. However, were there a person in my life, a parent maybe, who has for years expected me to go on and earn a masters degree in higher education adminsitration then I have no doubt I would be well into my second year of a good program at a well-regarded school.

Or, if I were expected to be driving a certain car, this whole "car thing" would not be a big deal, it wouldn't be a deal at all. I'd've purchased a car months ago and would be making my monthly payments on time.

Expectations speak louder than words. But no one is speaking to me now.

I may have to do some thinking.

-Tom
recommended download: Rolling Stones, Satisfaction

I'm not waving, I'm drowning

Hey readers.

I'm just trying to place myself today. On a usual day I know my attitude by the time I get into the shower. At that time I have about fifteen minutes of getting ready that I can use to adjust or change that attitude (these fifteen minutes are most useful if I wake up in a negative place, it's quick to replace a foul mood with a good mood). Today, though, it's a little different. I'm already at work and I still don't know how I'm feeling.

So, I thought, as long as I have nothing to do, and no strong feelings about doing it, I should post.

Welcome to my ambiguity.

I can speak from personal experience. Attitudes are cyclical. Weeks of optimism can be followed by a period of negativity and pessimism. I do my best to watch for these moods, and head them off when I can. It is good, sometimes, to let the bad days come. Better to be a pessimist for a time now than to suppress negative feelings forever. Then, sunlight.

So, I don't know if I'm between stages here, maybe I'm just in stasis. It's tough to tell, it's too soon. Later on today I may have figured it out.

-Tom
recommended download
Bob Schneider, The Other Side, and The World Exploded Into Love

So, I've got nothing to do.

I've got nothing to do. And when I have nothing to do, I post. (You may recall last week's four-post thursday.)

I'm going to get my hair cut very soon ADINA ARE YOU READING THIS? very soon I say. I am keeping it long, but instead of leaving it as is (ridiculously unmanageable) I will be taking it in a new direction (manageable and cool-looking). I hope all of you can turn out for the glorious result. Appt. with hair-care professional tbd.

In related news, if I don't like the new haircut I will be cutting all of it off, a la sophmore year of college, when, if any of you recall, I looked ridiculous. That's right, I'll be going from one extreme to the other. On the other hand, my cranium is perfectly round, so maybe it won't be such a bad look. (Yeah, it will. Somebody please talk me out of this before it happens, thank you.)

In unrelated news, thanks to the three commentors who commented on my car decision. With GMC's new promotion the crew-cab 4wd I was looking at is only like 20K. Which is cheaper than the 29K Grand Cherokee. So, new argument. Crew-cab or Extended cab? and why?

In even more unrelated news: I've always considered myself different from the general populace. In high school I thought I was higher up the social/intellectual/existential pyramid than everyone else. In college I finally found people who were on the same step I was (and a few a step or two higher, you'd know who you are if you're modesty and humility weren't preventing it). Now, post college, I am begining to think I am vastly different from everyone else on the planet, and a small piece of me wonders if that makes me harder to relate to, and consequently, get to know better, and consequently befriend or, bemorethanfriend. Imagine a situation where everyone is a car. Coupes, sedans, trucks, convertibles, etc. Four wheels, headlights, steering wheel. Then, along rolls a motorcycle. It's got a motor, it's got wheels, it's aparent that it is a means of transportation, but very very different from the norm. I'm not saying people who drive cars can't learn to drive a motorcycle, I hope they can. I'm saying, it would be very easy for someone familiar with cars, even if they were only familiar with one certain type of car, to move to another car and drive it easily, adapt, and get to know a different car. Easy. I'm saying it's probably not so easy for that car person to adapt to an unknown, unfamiliar moving vehicle. Would some be hesitant to ride the bike if there were a perfectly ordinary car sitting right next to it, something they know and are familiar with? and what if the bike needed a haircut?

-Tom
recommended download
The Old 97's, Let The Idiot Speak

Indecision

I am plagued with indecision. I have not, cannot settle on a car. If I could, I think the whole car-buying thing would get easier.

This is the same problem I have with grad school. I wouldn't have any trouble applying, getting in, taking loans and what-have-you IF I COULD JUST PICK SOMETHING TO STUDY.

Stupid school. At some point they must have taught us how to make decisions, and I'm pretty certain now that I was sleeping through that lecture.

For now, maybe a vote. Jeep Grand Cherokee (2004, or 2005) or a pickup, like the Chevy Colorado (crew cab, 4wd).

-Tom

A Good Night's Sleep

Space! I'm tired. I haven't been getting enough sleep. I don't have anyone to blame but myself; and I do blame myself. It's entirely my fault.

My intentions are good. In bed by midnight, sleep until eight. That's a solid eight hours. The late bedtime allows watching of late night television, like the daily show, or the simpsons, or sportscenter, or whatever. The late wake-up call of the alarm still gives enough time to shower, dress, eat, and get to the T on time.

But I still don't get eight hours of sleep.

See, I like to read. Also, I like music. These are the things that suffer wakefulness. Almost every night I retire with a book to read. Almost every night I have my iPod with me. I read and listen to music hours past midnight, usually drifting off near two. It happens all the time.

So, last night, I decided to try something new. I went to bed at ten-thirty. I took with me my book and my iPod. I read and listened to music for about two hours. The plan was to drift off after this nightly read. But no. Instead, I stayed up another hour or two and continued to read.

So, is sacrificing sleep really worth a few more pages? I'd say yes. I'm a big fan of reading.
This just means I'll have to start working on a way to sneak a nap in at work.

-Tom
recommended download:
The Old 97's, Am I Too Late, and Designs On You

Take another little piece of my heart

I've got a lot of love to give. You want some? Just ask, or just do something nice for no reason, or just be cool, or just smile, or be cute, or be a part of my life in any way shape or form. Take a piece of my heart, there is plenty to go around.

I do not need, nor do I ask for, anything in return. Adoration? A following? A small piece of your own heart, or attention, or favor? Nope. Nothing.

Everyone in the world is perfect.

-Tom
recommended download
The Old 97's, Adelaide, and Friends Forever

Just take it!

It's cold here in the office. I assume their justification for the excessive use of the air conditioning is the impending arrival of summer. I assume also, that they are unaware that it is forty-five degrees (farenheit) outside. They are, aparently, unfeeling.

However, I have received two very nice emails today. First, from the budget review guy...and I paraphrase: "I wanted to double back on the money funds – great job on these budgets. It certainly makes the review a lot easier when they are in good shape and properly completed and documented! The early delivery is definitely appreciated as well!!! Keep up the good work!"

Note the three exclamation points. Go me.

Then, an email from my manager, who had been cc-ed on the budget email: "Good job. We'll sit down to discuss the senior position when I get back."

It may be cold here in the office, but warm feelings of gladness and accomplishment keep me company.

-Tom
recommended download: Janis Joplin, Piece Of My Heart

Duffless

The new fund mix can't come soon enough. I'm getting bored again.

This is the same boredom that prompted me to start this web log. That's a lot of boredom.

I just handed in my tax-free funds. I now have one and one half hours to do nothing until the taxables finish. Zero to do. I can't even keep myself busy with budgets, because I finished them all. I can't keep myself busy with archiving because I finished it all.

No, that's a lie. I still have the Ireland fund to archive. But the real kicker is, Claude, the new guy that was here for three months and quit, he didn't do any archiving while he was here. Because the whole time he was here he was planning to leave. There are several stacks of paper on his desk, well, many more than "several" actually. These stacks of paper are the backups that need to be archived. Sorted by fund, then by date. Then boxed, and labeled. It will be three or four afternoons work. I refuse to do it.

But, we just heard that we're getting a new kid mid-July, and we're also picking up a high school intern at the same time. Since the high schooler isn't legally allowed to work on the funds directly he will instead be archiving. Because I say so. It will be nice to outrank someone again.

I could really go for a coffee and breakfast sandwhich. But I won't. Because I've already eaten my unhealthy-food-quotient for the week. Also, I'm saving my money to go drinking friday, or to the movies. (Batman, in case you were wondering) (and I know you were because I got like six comments asking what movie I wanted to see, and at least one of them -you know who you are- reffered to Batman Begins as Batman Returns, which is an entirely different movie).

I am tempted to launch into a discussion of why Batman Returns was not a terrible movie, based mainly on my appreciation of val kilmer's body of work, and my appreciation of nicole kidman's body. If anyone would like to see such a post please let me know. It may end up here anyway. We'll see.

This day would be much easier to get through if they let me read here at my desk. Stupid Pilgrims.

-Tom
recommended download:
Nelly, Ride With Me

Victory is, again, mine

The Random Muse is no longer blocked.

Thanks, IT guys.

Now how about craigslist so I can get that ping pong table?

-tom
recommended download:
Queen, Fat-Bottomed Girls, and, Get Down, Make Love
Van Halen, Jump, Panama, and Higher

Talking about work

Or, more accurately, talking about non-work, or un-work, or whatever you'd like to call it.

Today at 3:00PM I am attending a scheduled meeting of this focus group thing that I was volunteered for. ("for which I was volunteered." I'm just pointing out that I know the grammatically correct form, but that I choose not to exercise it.) We are meeting to discuss the progress of the project. I forget what the project is.

No, no, I'm kidding. I didn't forget. We're supposed to make like a training manual for newhires, or a training schedule, or something with training and newbies. This is the same group that met once, on the busiest day I've had in three months, and bitched about their managers. (Until the stupid girl who thinks she's Paris Hilton showed up, then she just dominated the conversation with none-of-us-even-remember because we were all clawing our eyes out or covering our ears instead of listening to her talk. damn she's stupid.)

The next week I received an email announcing meeting #2 at 11:00AM the following day.

The following day I forgot and skipped the meeting. I didn't know I'd skipped the meeting until the next day when I ran through my inbox again and saw the email. Oh well.

Today, 3:00PM meeting #3. Unless everyone else also missed meeting #2, in which case this would be meeting #2 Redux. Which I'm ok with.

At today's meeting we will not be doing any of our normal work. We will also not be doing any other kind of work, because these meetings are a total waste of time. We don't even have a deadline, and buddy, if you expect me to get anything done without a deadline, you have misplaced those expectations.

The way I see it, we'll have two more meetings with no itinerary, no goal, and nothing to show for them. Then, head honcho guy will figure out that we need some sort of motivation, like a deadline, and try to get us in gear. (Actually, he may have already figured this out, it might be nice to get a deadline today.) After the deadline is handed out, we'll skip a week, then meet twice a week for two weeks and throw something together. The final copy of our proposal, or checklist, or outline, or whatever will undoubtedly be written by the most senior member of the focus group, because I'm certainly not going to do it, and neither are my compadres. It will be weak and wishy-washy, and non-committal at best, or totally right and simple and clear at worst (because if someone sees something that is simple and clear and easily understood it gets shredded, and then: all these meetings for nothing). Then kicked to the higher ups, who will have a chance to read my name at the bottom of the page, and then, overcome with my accomplishments, and those of the rest of the focus group, give us all raises and new titles.

So that's at three o'clock.

-Tom
recommended download:
The Offspring, Gotta Get Away, and Something To Believe In

Kiss

Dear new people who are reading my blog, Where did you come from? How did you find me? Sincerely, Tom


Down to business.
I've just handed in the last budget due for this month, and, for today at least, have a light work load. Soon they will be redistributing funds, changing assignments, and mixing it up, so I may end up with something more difficult, or more time consuming. I look forward to that day.

In the meantime I will be doing all those things that I've been doing to kill time since I got here, like doodle, take long lunches, zone out, and post entries here about coworkers.

Books seem to have taken over our recent conversations. Jonathan has begun reading one of the Star Wars books, and, to his chagrin, he is enjoying it. Mike, Jonathan's manager, is reading an off-the-shelf crime novel since he's run out of Grisham books. The rest of that cash group is eagerly awaiting the release of the next Harry Potter (and the half-blood prince). I continue my foray into science fiction, having purchased last night Foundation and Empire, Second Foundation, and Foundation's Edge. I also got the next two books in the Dune series, Children of Dune, and God Emperor of Dune. Lastly, I purchased a Lawrence Block crime novel, and a Raymond Chandler novel, The High Window. I look forward to reading them all.

Very soon I will be visiting the movie theater, I believe first on my list of summer-blockbuster-movies-to-see is Batman Begins. Lords of Dogtown is still high on the list, and I recommend watching the documentary also ("Dogtown and Z-boys"). The rest of the list are those films that I'd like to see but probably won't get around to seeing; films like Cinderella Man, and Kingdom of Heaven.

Now, back to not working.

Love,
Tom

recommended downloads:
Brian Webb, Martha
No Use For A Name, Beth (KISS cover)

Gold teeth, and a curse of this town

I am posting this at 3:42 PM. There are two hours and eighteen minutes left in the work day.

and I am booooooooored. So I thought you should all hear about. Thanks for tuning in. (really, I mean that, I do appreciate your readership immensely.)

After work today I was thinking about going to see a movie (because I didn't yesterday). However, I remembered a really great reason not to go see a movie after work today, or, in fact, any monday-through-thursday from now until probably forever.

The Orange Line is replacing signals, and that means bussing from Sullivan to Oak Grove Mondays through Thursdays after 7:00 PM until the project is done (from now until forever). And, since a movie means getting on the train after 7:00PM, the movie also means bussing. And I hate the bus.

Friday I may go see a movie. Friday is also the weekend, so maybe other people will be up for the movies too. Or grabbing a beer and watching the Sox at a local brewery. I'm usually up for anything, especially on fridays.

Today, instead of the cinema, I am going to the bookstore (Borders I think, maybe Barnes & Noble) to pick up more books. Currently I am reading Asimov's Foundation series so I'll get a few of those, and if I can find them I'll get the next two books in Frank Herbert's Dune series. I'm also waiting for the next Dennis Lehane paperback (they're making another of his novels into a movie), and for the next Robert B. Parker paperback.

Also, my hair looks ridiculously good long.
-Tom

recommended download:
The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Aeroplane

signed, Fred O'Connor

So how cool is it to post a comment on blogger? I'll tell you, it's wicked cool. Try it, if you haven't already. Click on "comments" and write in whatever you think - but that's not even the best part.

The best part comes next. "Choose an identity"

Wow.

That's not something you can do in real life. You can be anybody you want to be. That is awesome. Philosophically, I mean. It's better than those "choose your own adventure" books. (which I always hated reading, and ended up choosing to run away from danger any chance I got, because that inevitably led to an early death, and therefore, a quick end to the story.) Complete freedom to assume any identity you want.

Today, I'm me. Tomorrow, who knows?

-Tom
recommended download: The Who, I'm A Boy
I was going to recommend Stephen Kellogg, Who Am I, but I didn't.

Cure-all

I woke up this morning thinking about what I was going to post here today. I was too tired to give that much thought. Also, I was too tired to remember what it was I was thinking about posting. So I'm posting this instead.

Almost the entire staff has dissapeared for a client meeting. There are two of us left here, and neither of us is doing any work. This is exactly the kind of attitude that I hope will get me the promotion I applied for. (and, by the way, the application process was easy. all I had to do was send an email to my manager "I heard there's a position opening up, I'd like to be considered for the job." and that was it.) I dont' yet know when I'll hear about it, but, on the other hand, I don't know when I'll hear about that raise they mentioned either.

In other good work news: Yesterday I got my nameplate. It is now proudly displayed in my cubicle for all the world to see (actually the only person who can see it is Jonathan, the opie&anthony fan, because his cubicle is directly across from mine.)

Speaking of cubicles, mine is three walls and an open side, if I knocked down one wall would it become a triangular-prism-icle? or if I added a wall would it then be a quinticle?

Finally, in blogger related news: plunkbiggio has reported Biggio's plunk #263. Congratulations. We (me) here at weblog have discovered a new reader (shoutout reader - see previous post's comments). The Random Muse is still blocked. And Defective Yeti, it turns out, has the same sort of crush I have on mightygirl (check today's post). Donny and John have updated today, and I'm sure Adina, Felecia, Lindsay, Jackie, and Kelly will soon.

I expect the rest of my group and the managers will be back in a few minutes from their (no doubt productive) meeting with the client. So I'm going to start working on my budgets, so as not to look like a slacker.

Sincerely,
Tom

recommended downloads:
The Cure, Friday I'm In Love
Jude, Cuba
Jill Sobule, I'm Gonna Be A Supermodel
and
Weird Al, The Saga Begins

p.s. recommended download for Kelly - Des'ree, You Gotta Be (see if you can pick out the relevant lyric)

summerland 2

so, it's summer. and cute girl? freckles. freckles everywhere.

it's adorable.

-t
recommended downloads:
The Old 97's, Melt Show, and Designs On You
Rhett Miller, Things That Dissapear

Summerland

if I had time, I might die in your water

today it's back to work.
dentist appt. before work (one cavity)
meeting @ 10:30
derived yield checks all morning
skip out for a doctor's appt.
back in time to tie out funds
then...maybe a movie after work? I gotta tell you, I'm really thinking about it.
really, having the best theater in the city thirty seconds from my cubicle is a pretty great thing.

and is anyone else excited about the rain?
passing thunershowers all day.
that would be the sweet.

-tom
recommended downloads:
Everclear, Summerland, and Heartspark Dollarsign
Rhett Miller, Erica (Live)
Counting Crows, River Shannon

I blame Dick

Ok, there are two people in this story and I'm going to use pseudonyms. The guy is Dick. The girl is Sarah.

I hate, and love, the summer. This came to me earlier tonight, on the ride home graciously offered to me by two friends who shall remain nameless (because there are only two people in this story). It's the summer months. It's also during those weeks that formerly comprised Christmas break. Also, it happens sometimes just randomly during the year. You know what I'm talking about: lovestruck. Damn the romantic in me.

This really sucks when there is no object of affection. Then it turns into depressing, bitter (sometimes), lonliness. But not this time, this time, there is an object of my affection, and her name is Sarah.

But see, as it is always the case, Sarah has no idea, and no interest in being the object of my affection, she has no interest in affecting me in any way. As is always the case.

I blame Dick. It's his fault. Not the romantic waxing of my conscious mind, that's my fault. It's his fault that Sarah's involved.

For a while I sort of liked Sarah, thought she was pretty cool, but nothing happened. She moved on, found a guy, dated the guy, years passed. I also dated some girls. One... liked the company of other men a little too much, one was short, one was psycho, one was pretty cool but hated me because I was a jerk.

Anyway. I find myself again, unattached. I see Dick a little while ago. Dick mentions Sarah once had a thing for me. Dick tells me he's spoken to Sarah, and that she liked me, once, back in the day. This is at the time that I thought she was pretty cool. And Dick knew both of these things. And he did not inform either party (Sarah or myself). Days pass. Dick mentions he saw Sarah yesterday, told her about that time that she and I liked each other but didn't know it, but he knew it and didnt' say anything then, but he is now. And then Dick tells me that Sarah said right now, she would think about liking me again, if not for this guy she just met and thinks she likes. Because she's been out on a few dates with him. But if not for him, then she'd be giving me a look.

Honestly. You know Dick, if you'd mentioned this mutual attraction two years ago Sarah and I may already have had a go at it, and found out how it ends... But no, now she's dating some guy, I'm caught up in the summer fever, and she has no idea. Unless, Dick, you've already told her. But whatever. The point of the story isn't that I like a girl.

The point of the story is that I like liking girls. I like the emotional rollercoaster that runs my brain. It's a good time. I feel, therefore I am.

Anyway, it's Dick's fault. Stupid Dick.

-t

This sort of feeling is why I say things like "if you have a secret crush on me, today is a good day to tell me." word.

Hey IT guys, I know you're reading this everyday so here is a big FUCK YOU, for you IT guys

Hey, IT guys who work at my company. FUCK YOU. That's right I said it. I'm on to you now you know. I've figured out your little game. So I'm sending a big Fuck You, from yours truly, to your whole staff.

You blocked the email sites, and I got by. I use my work email address now. I know you like it that way because you can scan and read everything that touches my In-and-OutBox. You get off on that don't you IT guys? Don't you?

You blocked ebay, because you couldn't handle it. Because you wanted me spending more time emailing, so you would have more correspondence to slake your voyeuristic thirsts. But I got by.

Then you blocked craigslist. I grew more and more upset. Because now I can no longer laugh at slimy personals (there is, after all, a little voyeur in everyone), I can no longer search for used ping pong tables. IT guys, I didn't spend a lot of time on craigslist, but you blocked it anyway. You're just exercising your power on whims, trifles. I know you're reading this IT guys.

I've long suspected it. Obviously you have a log of the urls this IP address visits, no doubt this site is high on that list. You checked it out. You thought it would be a hoot to read up on the new guy. I bet it was. Did you spend any time trying to figure out my pseudonyms? Trying to match my descriptions of coworkers and their fake blog-names to the real thing? An amusing afternoon game I'd wager.

I know you're reading this, IT guys, because you just blocked The Random Muse. Get your laughs in now. Go ahead, I'll allow it. Chuckle to yourselves, "we'll block his links, one-by-one," chuckle, enjoy it while it lasts.

Who's next? Mighty Girl? Aha. You were thinking that, weren't you? You were thinking of blocking her next. But now that I've guessed you're reading, will you continue with the plan? If you do block her then you've just confirmed your readership. Or do you wait, try and play it cool, stay safe, in the shadows of the ones and zeros you call home. That's right, run. Run and hide with your brackets and backslashes. Take your command-line prompts and retreat to the IT guy break-room. I'm on to you. And you should be scared.

Because now, IT guys, now I have something I've lacked for a long while. I have motivation. A purpose. Drive. I'm going to hack your system. That's right, I said it. I'm going devote some serious time and energy to the art of hacking. I'm going to be good. Real good, and when the time is right, I'm going to infiltrate your system. The monitors will become the monitored. I am going to hover over your shoulders. I am going to slip through your firewalls, I am going to rewrite programs, re-seed random number generators, reuse code in ways you cannot possibly imagine.

And all the while IT guys, all the while? I'm going to begin a campaign to work my way up the corporate ladder, to establish myself in a position that has authority over your office. And IT guys? I'm going to take it all away. Your perks, your freedoms, your privacy.

IT guys. FUCK YOU.

-Tom

What's going on here

**
Danny's been quoting Monty Python for a week now. Mostly the part about the "farcical aquatic ceremony."
It's been pretty hot out lately. Very humid too.
We've played lots of wiffleball.
I was invited to a club friday night (and didn't go).
I was supposed to meet some friends Saturday night, but they changed their plans (and I didn't go).
I've seen Dustin Hoffman's MTV Movie Awards acceptance speech six times this weekend.
I've seen the Red Sox (finally) win one against the Cubs (way to go staff-veteran Wakefield) .
I watched Young Guns three times, Back to the Future (I and II) twice.
And I've played about six hours of N64 with Timmy and Danny.

It was a pretty good weekend.

Oh, also, the remainder (and therefore the majority) of my time this past weekend was spent among great literary company. New tpb's from comicopia, the last of Orson Scott Card's Shadow trilogy, and the begining of Isaac Asimov's Foundation series.
**



Today at work they took another fund away from me. I'm down to three easy tax-frees and two not-so-easy taxables. Budgets continue to occupy my time.

-Tom
recommended download: The Old 97's, Melt Show

Climate control

Scattered thoughts

* coworker talking about how much he loves central air and not having it growing up has now developed a dependence on it.

* coworkers bashing the sox, because it's 11-2 right now and even maddux hit a home run.

* earlier today had trouble logging in to a website, concluded the possiblity my password had been hacked was high. realized using first name is not the best idea for a password. tonight I will reset all passwords.

* the office is hot and sticky all-of-a-sudden. they've either shut off the air-conditioning, broken it, or I am melting.

*realizing new coworker is maybe a moron, scatter-brain, or ditz having overheard phone conversation where bastille day was explained to her and she still didn't get it.

* thinking this post was just an excuse to recommend a song that's running through my head

-tom**

recommended download: roots manuva, dreamy days

**(no longer used as a password)

Third time's the charm

So, twice now I've posted about being stuck in the revolving doors. (once, twice, two times a lady). It happened again Wednesday.

But this time it was my fault.

I went out to lunch, and sort of just walked around for a while. I stopped in Borders and bought a few new books (Shadow Puppets, Prelude to Foundation, Foundation, and Sins Past). Then I went and grabbed a slice of pizza and a drink, and then I headed back into the building.

The items I was carrying were unwieldy. The pizza was hot, and the oil was soaking through the paper bag. The drink was covered in condensation and slipping out of my hands. The books were in a bag in the other hand. I had no free hand to get my security card to swipe into the door. So when I got up to the door I had to do a little juggling (which I can do, btw) to free up a hand. While I was transferring the pizza to one hand, and the drink to the crook of my elbow, and reaching for the security ID I took my eyes off the door. That was my mistake.

As soon as I had fished the ID out of my pocket I swiped and stepped into the door. I had not seen the person on the other side trying to exit while I was rearranging my purchases. We got stuck. But! having been in this situation before, I was prepared. I simply pushed the door through its rotation and entered the building. Cool, calm, collected, and covered in drink condensation, pizza oil, and dropping books left and right.

Next time, I'll just have more hands.

-Tom
recommended download:
Stephen Kellogg, Who Am I

Spearmint v. Winterfresh

So, I'm not what you'd call a gum-chewer. I chew gum ocassionally. Mostly, I chew Winterfresh. I always chew sugar-free (I've had some issues with too much sugar in my diet, love it as I do). I usually chew Extra.

So, the past few packs (like, a half a pack a week, tops) I've been chewing Extra Sugar-free Winterfresh gum. It comes in a blue pack, the gum is white-ish. It tastes like whatever winterfresh is supposed to taste like. It's pretty good.

Well, yesterday, I decided to switch it up, give Spearmint a try. And folks, what is up with the neon-yellow colored gum? It is strange. My first thought went something like "is radioactive gum safe to eat?" Weird looking gum. Also, no lasting power. None. Pop it in your mouth, spearmint (not a bad flavor, but I've decided, it's no winterfresh), and then...nothing. Two chews, flavor's out the window.

So I'll buzz through this pack, and when I'm done, I'm going back to the white-ish, longer lasting, non-mutagenic winterfresh.

-Tom
recommended download: Don Hertzfeldt's short animated flick, Ah, L'amour

That time I was generous

So I was just reading Midwestgrrl's latest and hit that link she has in there to read the back story, and it reminded me of something that happened just a few weeks ago.

It's not something I'd remember readily, because I was plastered at the time.

It was night. I was drunk. I was walking to the train.
I was approached by what seemed to be a very normal person. She seemed also to be a little distraught. Middle-aged, clutching her jacket, she said "Excuse me, I don't normally beg for money, but I need seventeen dollars to get home tonight and blah blah blah"

Like I said, I was plastered.

So I reached into my pocket for one of the two bills I knew I had. A twenty-dollar bill, and a one-dollar bill. I figured, why not give her a buck? And I pull out the twenty and hand it to her. Not because I see it's the twenty and I'm afraid stopping, reaching back into my pocket and giving her a "here's a dollar is really all that I have, except for this twenty in my other hand," but because I'm like "fuck it, take the twenty, I'll only spend it on coffee or donuts or a hamburger or something."

And she was like, amazed. Like, she wanted to hug me. Since I'd covered her transportation costs and left her enough for a large hazelnut coffee from dunkin' donuts. But I took off, because it's one thing to be accidentally overgenerous to a strange woman at night in boston, and it's quite another to be drunk and get a bear hug from a strange woman at night in boston because you just handed her some cash. She was still thanking me while I was walking away. I was all, "buzz off lady, now I just want to go home."

-tom
recommened download:
Pushstars, Millionaire

Oh, king, eh - very nice. And how'd you get that, then? By exploiting the workers!

wtf, readers, wtf.

Now, viruses - Have you heard about this? - viruses. They are these, like, computer programs, that like, mess with your computer. They're everywhere man. They just like, float around the internet. Click on a thing, and you can get infected. It's actually, actually very noble of them, I think. I think it's very noble of these IT guys to try and protect us from these viruses. What do they get in return? Nothing. No recognition, no money, they do it out of the goodness of their hearts.

They know, they know that a generation that grew up online, a generation that helped write most of the content that exists online, can't recognize funny hyperlinks when they see them. These IT guys, they're smart. They know that regular internet users just go around blindy clicking and downloading without a thought or care as to the virulent potential of strange files. That's why they block all those websites.

It's not to prevent you from accessing email (yahoomail.com, gmail.com, hotmail.com). It's to protect you from accessing virus-encoded email. You've all heard the stories: that kid sister of a friend you had in college, starzz&8utterflyz89@yahoomail.com, who still forwards chain emails to you at work sent a fun online quiz and when you clicked the hyperlink a virus got in allowing hackers access to the identities and PINs of eight thousand credit card holders. Then, there was that one time, in India, where a guy bought a thing on ebay and crashed the World Bank. And that other time, when a poor college graduate was looking for cheap housing in boston on craigslist which caused every computer in his building to explode simultaneously killing three and wounding seventeen others (two of them vice presidents).

Oh, wait, what was that? That never happened? RIGHT. I mean come on. WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM IT GUYS?


They blocked craigslist. How am I supposed to look for stuff I need cheap? hmm? I can't get a ping pong table unless I pay retail? Is that it? Amazon's ok? But I can't search for apartments...ON A TEXT-BASED HTML WEBSITE? W.T.F. (mate).

block email - annoying? yes. makes sense? yes. email's a bitch. loaded with spam and viruses. I get it.
block ebay? what? how is that harmful? maybe to my paycheck.
and now craigslist?! WTF is your problem?

gah. so listen up. STOP BLOCKING SITES THAT I LIKE TO VISIT. A generation of internet savy employees ARE NOT GOING TO DOWNLOAD ANY VIRUSES.

ESPECIALLY NOT FROM AN AUCTION OF Star Wars memorabilia OR THE APARTMENT LISTINGS ON CRAIGLIST.

-tom
recommended downloads:
Pearl Jam, Garden, and Go

We're knights of the round table, our shows... are for---mid-able
Though many times, we're given rhymes, that are quite un-sing-able
It's a happy time in Camelot, we sing from the diaphragm a lot!!

on The Amazing Spider-man 8: Sins Past

AWESOME that was maybe the best twist ever

and it was even better because I had NO IDEA IT WAS COMING

see, this isn't the stuff you expect, you just don't expect it, from the spiderman titles. you expect: bad guy, probably animal-related; something scienc-y; biff, pow; threat to aunt may; semi-clever twist, usually involving a the sciency thing and using it in a new way to defeat the bad guy; end of story

BUT NOTHING THIS GOOD HAS HAPPENED IN A LONG WHILE. I mean, come on, that whole "clone" thing...that was misguided

BUT THIS, THIS IS INCREDIBLE

I just had to put the book down because it was so good. This is almost like in Reservoir Dogs when Mr. Orange says that thing. I had to stop the movie and like, just take it in for a while before I watched the end.

THIS WAS GREAT!

-tom

recommended download:
Sarah Harmer, Dogs and Thunder
Bush, Come Down

The bad stuff that happens and nobody notices

So hello readers. I've been doing a little thinking. (not a lot, I doubt I could get away with a lot of thinking in this corporately-charged environment, it's quite stifling). I've been thinking about you bloggers out there. Mostly about you anonymous bloggers out there that I've never met and don't know personally (or e-personally). There is some pretty serious blogging going on out there.

Like, skipping around, trying to find things to read, I've read some blogs authored by psych patients, by cancer patients, by divorcees, by near-divorcees, and wow man, there is some serious shit going on.

So, right here, this post, this is as serious as you'll see me get. Ever. This is the post where I mention bad things that could happen, and then tell you what you would read if bad things like that ever happened to me or people with whom I am close.

Bad things like:
death - this is a big one. there are many degrees, I will start small.
death of a pet, like a fish -- this probably earns a sentence or two in a post by way of setting a scene, or as "something that happened leading up to the subject of this post." for example, we've got a fish at home that hasn't been fed in I think three weeks and it's still kicking (or flipping its fins), it's sort of like the fish that will never die.

death of a pet, like a dog -- probably mentioned in a short, sad, post, just to keep people informed.

death of a person, esp. a loved one -- you will never ever hear about this. ever. I don't like sad things, I like bringing them to people even less.

bodily injury - this is happens sometimes
scrapes, bruises, general falling-down -- this will certainly get posted about, like the time danny jumped a fence and had to go get stitches.

life-threatening bodily injury -- like a life-altering paralysis. you won't see it here folks. much to grave.

sadness, despair, hate, rage, anger, fear - basically, for you star wars nuts, all the emotions that lead to the dark side. I'm not a big fan of these emotions. so they won't get much of a mention. frustration may be the exception, but that's really less about the dark side and more about blocking the light side, it's a force-neutralizer.


So, as a rule, if something bad happens, you won't know about it. I like it like that. If something good happens, you will hear about it. And, it may be true that limiting the content of the blog may also limit its impact, especially its dramatic impact, well, tough. I'd much rather sacrifice drama to promote the inane and immaterial. A person is just as happy as he makes his mind up to be...and so is his blog.

-Tom
recommended download: Dave Matthews Band, 41

It's days like this that burn me

On the train in today I sat across from a babysitter with two small boys. They were maybe five and three. The five year old was all over the place, every time a train passed in the opposite direction he'd exclaim "WOW! A train!" The three year old was busy climbing out of the stroller.

The commuter next to the five year old started talking to him about the trains, like the "special train" they use to pull other trains, and the train they use to plow the snow off the tracks. I thought that if I had been talking to the kid I would not have told him the giant blue building with the purple stripe housed trains, but that it was a base for flying saucers. The three year old stole the babysitter's sunglasses and was trying to eat them.

I enjoyed the commute...but I've always loved trains.

-Tom
recommended download:
Bob Schneider, Big Blue Sea, and God Is My Friend

That's the Power of Love

Music can save me. And has. One a number of ocassions. Like today. Music saved me today.

Things went wrong today. Music saved me on the ride home. This playlist:

Counting Crows, Omaha (twice)
Good Charlotte, The Story Of My Old Man
Mitch and Mickey, A Kiss At The End Of The Rainbow (twice)
The Offspring, Walla Walla
Pearl Jam, Porch
Bob Seager, Turn The Page (Live)

-Dennis, there's some lovely filth over here!

tom

recommended download, that playlist

Help, help! I'm bein' repressed!

Weekend wrap-up:
Friday night: baseball, see previous post for pics

Saturday: slept in, left at 2pm for a performance of the Macaroni Family Circus in Middletown CT, an act in which my cousin Nathan plays a big role (Dr. Melvin the absent-minded circus doctor). Nathan and his buddies wowed the crowd with juggling, club passing, acrobatics/contortions, and a sick diablo act. It was a good show with amazingly skilled kids and well played humor (grabbing a "volunteer" from the audience for the club passing bit Dr. Melvin gave him a helmet with a dramatically delivered "this helmet is of course, ... for your protection").

We then bombed back to the city to get my mom to work, doing about 95 mph the whole way back. Also, we almost ran out of gas trying to get back home. It was very close, but we made it.

Sunday: We watched Miracle and then we watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail, def one of the top three comedies ever. I will be quoting that movie for a couple weeks. "He can leap about..., look at the bones!"

Maybe he was dictating,
-tom

recommended download: Yellowcard

FENWAY PARK BABY

Press box
Originally uploaded by a20261.

These are my favorite ten from the game. Go Red Sox.

Red Sox Photo Set

The stove is hot, don't touch the stove

See, the existence of the list sort of makes me want to read the books on the list.

"HUMAN EVENTS asked a panel of 15 conservative scholars and public policy leaders to help us compile a list of the Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries....Appropriately, The Communist Manifesto, by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels, earned the highest aggregate score and the No. 1 listing." -humaneventsonline

-Tom
recommended download:
Dropkick Murphys, Gonna Be A Blackout

oh good lord, is this...WORK?

Yes. Work. LOTS OF WORK.

Listen, I don't know where you're coming from, but this isn't what I signed up for. No sir. No sir, thank you, it is not.

You want me to work? I apologize, I'm just not getting this: Come in (on time). Turn on computer. Do productive and professional things efficiently without a break or slacking off until quitting time. Really. I mean, really. Really?

I'm stymied. *** *** ***

I'm working A TON now. This isn't really what I signed up for...but I guess this is what they think I signed up for, or what they think I can handle... and don't get me wrong here, I can totally handle it...but just barely. Barely.

Like, this is Work-To-The-Max. You know that bit Seinfeld does, about extra-strength pain-killers? "Extra-strength, advanced-strength, pretty soon it'll be 'figure out what will kill me...and then back it off a little bit." Yeah, that's where I am now.

HOW MUCH WORK CAN BE CRAMMED INTO ONE SEVEN POINT SEVEN FIVE HOUR DAY?

GUUAAAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!

Folks, it's a lot of work. Zero downtime. None. I probably won't even sign on today. Like, at all. I might have to eat lunch at my desk today, if I have enough time to leave the building to get lunch. THERE IS SO MUCH TO BE DONE!

a quick synopsis: Manager's called for jury duty, Chuck has the day off, Blitzen's last day was yesterday, Booger will probably call in AGAIN (sidenote: just learned that he is on his second probationary period, what the hell is going on there), leaving four of us plus one manager (the one who didn't quit and isn't at jury duty, the one who doesn't know anything about budgets, feeders, or expenses and guess-what-no-don't-guess-I'll-tell-you the work I am doing is soley budgets feeders and expense related so he'll be almost no help) four of us, from an original staff of twelve to do the regular work of twelve plus budgets - without - the manager that knows budgets and basically did most of the tricky ones himself.

I'm amazed. Please tell me you people out there don't like, do this amount of work on a regular basis. I could probably only handle this for like, two days of the year, and really only if the next day was a vacation day plus my birthday, or you know, if I'm going to a Red Sox game right after work and then the weekend. (by the way, today after work I'm going to a Red Sox game, and then it's the weekend.)

BAM

-Tom
recommended download:
The Eagles, Take It Easy (I was watching the Eagles Farewell Tour last night ;)

Yeah, you know what, I'm too tired to post

I'm just way too tired. I blame MarioKart until 1 AM. Just think how tired I'm going to be when I finally get the Nintendo revolution and can play Double Dash to my heart's content.

There is a lot of stuff going on around me, metaphorically, that I feel like I should comment on. Lots of lives dramatically changing. Changing relationships, changing jobs, changing apartments, and it feels like this is all significant, like there is something big at work and I should be talking about it. I'm too tired to think it through, though. There is something big at work. It is affecting everyone. Bigger than "this is my first summer without a summer vacation because now I have a job." That's a one-liner, a punchline, a joke. It kinda seems like whatever is happening is happening BIG.

So instead of trying to think about and then explain what may be going on, I'm going to list people that things are going on to, so maybe later I can come back when my brain is working on the same plane of reality and I can try and figure things out:
Kelly, John, Kate, Lindsay, Felecia, Donny, Ray, Kat, Dan, Joe, Dan, Carolyn, me, Ashley, Ann, and Catherine.

-tgme

recommended download:
Lucky Boys Confusion, Ordinary

How this weekend was more about having a good time, and less about work...

Actually, this weekend was about no work at all.

Friday I arrived home to a new game. Score Four, maybe you've heard of it, it's like a three-dimensional Connect-Four. We played that for about five hours while watching movies on television. Saturday we watched movies on television and played Score Four for probably about six hours, I also played some wiffleball. Sunday we went to my cousin's house for a cookout and some Star Wars trivial pursuit. I totally won (which was nice, because the last time we played my cousin beat me six pie pieces to like, one, and it was about time I came back from that defeat), I played as the Darth Vader game piece.

Sunday night I went over to Felecia and Lindsay's place for a party. (hi guys). It was such a rockin' party that the neighbors called the cops. I don't really remember though because I had way to much whiskey and am still hungover. (fyi - longest hangover was three and a half days after I consumed the larger half of a bottle of captain morgan's rum, I fully expect this hangover I'm on now to rival that as a close second).

Felecia and Lindsay graciously let me crash at their place Sunday night and even more graciously didn't make me move at all when I woke up monday morning. (Which worked out for everyone, as I would guess they wanted me hurling all over their nice clean apartment about as much as I wanted me to, which is none at all, which is why it was so nice of them not to you know, make me move excessively, or even at all, or even like, breathe heavily, or that is exactly what would have happened.)

After two hours of not moving, plus some pills and half a glass of water I was able to stagger out the door and to the car for a day of doing nothing in the car. It was great. (except for the nausea-hangover-feeling-like-I-was-drinking-nitroglycerine-and-not-100-proof-whiskey-all-night-and-now-it's-just-sitting-in-my-stomach-and-if-I-move-it-will-explode-taking-me-and-probably-these-people-sitting-near-me-with-it feeling.) Anyway. I sat and moaned through other people's breakfast at Sunset. Then sat and moaned a little less on the ride to the mall. Then walked around the mall with other people. [sidenote: being hungover severly reduces my desire to spend money on frivolities like ten dvds at a time and the whole transformers collection (buy three get the fourth for one penny) at k.b. toys, so I guess I've found a treatment for my rampant consumerism but at what cost.] I'd like to take this opportunity to send out a big "thanks for the patience you have shown to your very very very hungover friend" to those other people right now.

So anyway, a long time at the mall, and I didn't buy one thing. Not one movie. Not one cd. Not one action figure. I'd think about calling it a victory, but I won't because I can't even type the words "southern comfort" without getting nauseous all over again.

So I'll just drink my gatorade here at work and keep my head down. I'll probably have recovered by thursday.


-Tom
recommended downloads:
Weezer b-sides (now available on the two-disc re-release of "Weezer" their first cd)
Bob Schneider, Big Blue Sea
Matt Nathanson, Princess

They like me, they really like me!

Today was a good day. That's not something I say very often. It's not that there aren't mostly bad days, it's that today is noteworthy.

Today started with tons of work. I had my six normal funds, in addition to the Ireland fund, and the giant fund that I'm still learning, and if I mess it up it's a big deal. Also, three guys are out of the office, one scheduled, one quit, and one called in, so I'm covering two more funds. It's pretty busy.

I sneak out for lunch, but it's quick because I have a lot of work to do. When I walk back into the office I bump into Sharon, a manager on the other side of the floor. She has been hovering around my desk looking for me because aparently without my knowledge my manager volunteered me for a roundtable focus group to adapt the training procedures for new hires. Ok, so we go to the group and waste half an hour.

Then, slush. The company bought the floor slush, in cotton candy, lemon, and tropical flavors. I had cotton candy.

Then, I head back to my desk to do the work that I haven't looked at in hours, and my manager pulls me into the conference room. He shuts the door and then goes on for ten minutes about how much my hard work is appreciated and that my good attitude has been recognized, and that he has just requested to his boss that I get a raise. "Nothing crazy," he said, "not like, ten thousdand dollars or anything." But hey, that's ok. You had me at "appreciated" you tell me you're giving me a raise too? That's icing on the cake. BAM

It's nice to be appreciated.

-Tom

recommended downloads:
Marcy Playground, Never, Comin' Up From Behind, and Rebel Sodville

California girls

Today I woke up even later than yesterday. I wasn't planning to, it just sort of happened. I still made it to work on time. I'm the man.

Roosevelt, the guy across from me with the aerosol dependence was out yesterday and I covered two of his funds. He's supposed to be taking the Ireland fund from me so when he comes in I'm going to train him on it. Also, Charles (the complainer) has today off, so I'll be covering one of his funds. Except wait, oh no, Charles is out, but Roosevelt called-in! I'm pretty sure the train doesn't break down that often, after all, I made it in. And yesterday was the new guy's last day. So we're down three guys, I've got the Ireland fund in addition to the new fund I don't really understand yet, my regular funds, and also two more I'm covering for the absentees.

Management is upset. They usually get this upset when Roosevelt calls in. I can't understand why they haven't given him the axe.

With double the workload today I'm hoping this long weekend will seem twice as long.

-Tom
recommended downdloads:
Marcy Playground, Comin' Up From Behind
Electric Light Orchestra, Mr. Blue Sky
Rhett Miller, Things That Dissapear
Bob Schneider, I'm Good Now and Come With Me Tonight
Marvellous 3, Freak Of The Week
The Shins, Young Pilgrims, Caring Is Creepy, and A Call To Apathy

No time to say Hello, Goodbye

Today I woke up an hour later than I usually do. And then I went back to sleep.

I could have jumped out of bed, frazzled, thrown on something that was just lying around, and raced to my train. Or, I could have taken my time, showered, ironed some clean clothes, had a bagel and orange juice, and leisurely walked to the station. I'll let you guess which plan I went with.

I normally arrive here at work fifteen minutes early. Today, with the delay, I arrived ten minutes late. The lesson? I can sleep until 8:45am and still be fine (this is even with ten minutes of combing my hair so it doesn't look totally ridiculous. If I get my hair cut I'll be able to sleep for ten more minutes with the added bonus of not looking at all ridiculous).

So, faithful readers, I am passing this lesson on to you: Sleep in. Be late. Be like John.

Right, I haven't mentioned John before. John and I met in high school. We played hockey together. We would drive each other to or from school. Actually, my mom would usually drive us from school. I would usually get to school on my own. John only drove me to school when my alarm didn't go off, the shower broke, my brothers threw all my clothes in the backyard the night before while it was raining, and my breakfast cereal spontaneously combusted. When I was going to be late anyway, when it was go now, or don't go at all.

John was never on time. They made you stay after school to make up the time you'd missed - He was a regular in detention. I'd call his house at 8:30, he'd just be starting breakfast, sure he'd pick me up on his way to school, no problem. We'd arrive near nine o'clock (ish). I know this because I always wore a watch (not so much because being on time was important to me, it was a little, but more because I always liked to know what time it was at exactly the time it was). I would not have known if I didn't have my watch. Because John purposely mis-set the clock on his car radio. I don't mean "set it ten minutes ahead so you'll always be on time" or "forget about daily savings, just add an hour" I mean miss-set. I couldn't even do the math, something like add four horus, subtract seventeen minutes, or maybe subtract an hour add thirty-one minutes, or add one day, eleven hours, and eight minutes. It was nuts.

Why? Because John didn't believe in time. He explained it like this: "I don't let time rule my life. Things happen when they happen." Pretty simple. It's the reason I don't wear a watch now. It's the reason I took my time this morning. It's a good philsophy.

-Tom
recommended downloads:
The Old 97's, Cryin' Drunk
and
The Red Hot Chili Peppers, On Mercury

Post No Bills

Not much of a post today. I'm learning a new fund. It's not especially difficult, but it is especially time consuming. It's just what I need.

Also, today I was feeling a bit down. Not a lot, and not for long, but a bit down. So I decided to walk over to the nearby sporting goods store and look at baseball gloves, because, why not get a new one, right? Anyway, there were one or two I might have given some serious consideration, and only $50. When I came back to work I mentioned it to my manager who then mentioned that my senior manager had played college ball, he'd caught for four years. And you'll never guess where. The same school my brother goes to. Small world.

So anyway, I might buy a baseball glove. I'm looking at a Rawlings infielder's glove. But the Nike's aren't too bad either... I will, of course, keep you posted.

-Tom
recommended downloads:
Our Lady Peace, Neon Crossing
Ben Kweller, Wasted And Ready

So, read any good books lately?

It's raining hard here in Boston. The first Nor'easter I can remember in a while. I love weather (as I mentioned in the previous post).

So good morning, readers. I hope the rain did not adversely affect your commute, your morning errands, or your generally sunny outlook on life here on the planet earth. I've been listening to some music lately and I'm going to recommend some songs later, but I'm checking in first. What's up with you? How's the week been so far? Any big doings coming your way soon? Any birthdays out there this week? Have you read any good books lately? Seen any good movies?

I have. And I hope to see more. Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith was great. I'll need to see it two or three more times before I start to look at it as a real movie. I'm looking forward to seeing these movies too: Batman Begins, Lords of Dogtown, The Fantastic Four, Spiderman 3, Xmen 3, Kindgom of Heaven, and Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Batman looks very good. Excellent bad guys, good casting, a fresh take on the legend.
The rest of the comic book movies will be great, all following the "summer blockbuster" formula.
Hitchiker I've heard good things about, like it follows the spirit of the books very closely, if not the detail.
Dogtown will be very good, an adaptation of the true life events that produced skateboarding as we know it today. Based on the documentary Dogtown and Z-Boys. Which I've seen. And it was great. (also great but for different reasons is Ultimate X, a 45 minute documentary on ESPN's X-games for the tenth anniversary.)
and I heard a good review of Kingdom of Heaven, (directed by Ridley Scott - which is why I was thinking about going in the first place) saying if you liked Galdiator you'll probably like this one. Even though it stars an elf.

-tom

recommended downloads:
Lucky Boys Confusion, Mr Wilmington
The Clash, Just Like Heaven
The Old 97's, Timebomb
Dave Matthews Band, Say Goodbye (Live)
Black Eyed Peas (feat. Justin Timberlake), Where Is The Love?

also, I don't find it at all disconcerting that I'm mentioning both JT and Orlando in the same post, or that I'm making special mention of it in a post script. not at all disconcerting. -tom out.

Let it rain on me.

I've said before, and I stand by it, that I am a fan of all types of weather. "There is no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather." (Benedict)

But.

There is no reason for it to continue to be this cold near the end of May. Rain I understand, though it's a month late (april showers...). Cold though. Again, it's not that I dislike the cold. It's that there are many things that normally occur in the spring that can't happen if it's cold out. Things that are supposed to happen in warm spring weather. You know what I'm talking about: picnics, baseball games, cookouts, and so on. So, mother nature, let's get it moving, k?

Thanks,
-Tom

recommended download: The Old 97's, Big Brown Eyes

I've seen it, you can talk to me now

and of course I loved it.

She did it AGAIN!

Listen lady, wait your f-ing turn!

We have security doors. Revolving security doors. You swipe your card. You step into the door. The door AUTOMATICALLY turns one-quarter turn and you exit the other side.
If people want to enter from the other side as folks are exiting you take turns. One exits, then one enters, then one exits, and so on.

You may recall the slight problem I had with the revolving security doors earlier.

Today, leaving the building for lunch I was waiting my turn. One guy left. One guy came in. I started to leave. AND THE SAME LADY STEPS INTO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR! Of course, she didn't swipe her ID, she aparently has NO IDEA HOW THESE DOORS WORK despite having used them EVERYDAY SHE'S COME TO WORK FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS.

Today she's coming back from lunch. She has a small pizza box in her hands. As she starts to step into the door it starts its turn to let me out. Surprised (idiot), she jumps back. SHE DOES NOT PULL THE PIZZA BOX OUT OF THE WAY. The door rotates into the pizza box. One eighth of a turn. AND STOPS. I am now trapped. In the door. Again. The lady looks at me. I push the door through its turn. The lady laughs. Ridiculously.

WAIT YOUR F-ING TURN LADY.

This is why I should have a cattle prod to zap stupid people with. Honestly.
-Tom

recommended download:
Oasis, Force of Nature, Step Out
and
Counting Crows, A Murder Of One (Live), and Have You Seen Me Lately?

Piranha

So I didn't go overboard. I kept the count down. Three drinks. One appetizer. Unexpectedly the boss put it all on the company card. That was nice.

I would have left early. But Anastasia asked me to stick around so we could take the same train back (we get off at the same stop). So I stuck around.

The bar was full. Full of Navy and Marines. We had a great conversation with a young Marine who was, I'm estimating, three feet shorter than I am. There should be a height requirement to join the Marines. It should be " at least taller than a barstool." But he was a funny kid. So it's all good.

Coworkers in at a table near us were playing rock-paper-scissors for money. Double-or-nothing Adam lost $40.

Anastasia and her roommate Cleo (both four-foot high Vietnamese girls) were making eyes at me all night and invited me out with them tomorrow night. Apparently all they need is half a Sea Breeze or Sex on the Beach to get to "friendly." They seemed to have less fun on the train ride home while sobering up.

Also, semi-unrelated, I've been getting really excited for the Nintendo Revolution. If you have now, or have ever, had any interest in video games (especially Nintendo video games I mean you Adina since you probably won't check it out without a personal invitation so consider this yours) check it out. New games, and downloading old school games: brilliant.

So I had a pretty good time,
Tom

recommended download: Morcheeba, Ambiant Lounge

DON'T MENTION IT!

Ok, this is the most dangerous time. The movie has opened, I haven't seen it yet. This is when spoilers ruin the movie. PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!

Please be especially careful because I hear it's good. I hear it's real good. And if you want to tell me how good it is, that is fine, in fact, I welcome it. BUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not reveal any details or plot devices or facts or anything remotely associated with the movie. I SWEAR I AM GOING TO SEE IT SOON. And then I'll be talking non-stop about it, and we can rave/rant/discuss. BUT DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING YET!

thanks, I'm glad we're friends

-tom

recommended download: Weezer, This is such a pity
and Morcheeba, The Sea, Aqualung, and Trigger Hippy

Threats and promises

To start, the promise: My manager yesterday said he would order me a name plate. Super. First, nameplates are a sign that I am a real member of the group, that they've accepted me, that they don't have any plans in the immediate future to fire me. Second, nameplates suck, because that's how everyone else on the floor finds you. Wander around looking for the guy who works on your fund because you have a situation he needs to deal with, him having a nameplate makes it much easier for you to say "here, it's your problem."

To finish, the threat: Today a friend of mine received an email. It is only a matter of time before this email is sent to everybody, including yours truly. The email bans Instant Messaging in all forms and reminds employees of the stringent personal-use-of-internet "guidelines" (like "NO BLOGS!!!), and I quote "Any unauthorized use of Instant Messenger Services during business hours will be considered a violation of the aforementioned policies and will be subject to appropriate disciplinary action." I, of course, have no intention of giving up either AIM or the blog.

So maybe ordering the nameplate was a bit premature? ;)

-Tom
recommended: Weezer, Keep Fishin' and In The Garage

Trent's Last Day

Friday is Trent's last day. This means Thursday the group is sending him off in style, that is, everyone is going out to get drunk. Friday is also the last day for some other guy on the floor that I've never met or worked with. It happens that his send-off is happening at the same bar.

So, when I first heard the plan I thought to myself, "I don't think I'll get super drunk." The last few times I've been out with the work gang I have maybe gotten myself into a little trouble, or narrowly avoided trouble, this time I wanted to avoid narrowly avoiding trouble and really try to widely avoid trouble.

That was Monday, however, today I am reconsidering. Why not get drunk? I like drinking alcohol. I like having fun. I can conceivably do both of those things simultaneously.

This change, going from a sober-ish plan on Monday to a get-drunk-and-foolish-ish plan on Wednesday, has got me thinking.

Maybe I've got a problem.

-tom

also, you haven't heard of Trent before because I use pseudonyms profusely. I was tempted half way through this post to start referring to him as "Chet."

I recommend Weezer, Peace and Oasis, Lyla

Better than me

Do you ever get the feeling that you're better somplaces than others? It's true. It's a real thing that really happens. I know people. I know people. This happens to them.

These people that I know say things like "I'm better on the phone." Or, sometimes, they say the opposite of that, "I'm not good on the phone." implying, (obviously), that they are better in person, not on the phone.

I bring it up because, lately, I'm begining to feel like I'm better online. That's right. Here, and also on AIM. Better online than in person, and most certainly better online than on the phone (not that I use the phone overmuch, and usually not in situations where I would need to be good at it). The point is this:

I have always held that I am an excellent communicator, but now I am begining to believe that my typed-out kind of communications are more me than my spoken communications. Get it? Is this making sense? I'm more me online than in person.

Which is totally ok with me. I may get worried later, you know, if this continues, but for right now, I'm not worried, because the extent that I'm not the me I am online in person is not great. I am me in person to a lesser extent than I am me online, but not greatly so. (I used lesser and greatly in that last sentence. I write phenomenally well.)

Causes? I believe this phenomenon, or rather, this manifestation of the no-doubt worldwide phenomenon, to be the result of practice. Given almost a complete seven hours a day where communication with the outside world is restricted to typeable mediums (email, AIM, blogging) I use my manual means of communication much more often than I previously had, and my vocal capabilities much less: I type more than I talk. My fingers know what I want to say through the computer faster than my mouth knows what I want to say out loud. I am tempted to perform a pseudo experiment and carry a keyboard around with me. When next I am engaging in person-to-person verbal communications I will take out the keyboard and type the conversation while simultaneously speaking the conversation (well, yes, my half of the conversation) aloud. Or out loud. Whichever you prefer. (thanks to kat and donny).

With heartfelt concern for your well-being and happiness,
Tom

I recommend American Gigolo, by Weezer