Blueberry

Brand new font. “Century.” I like it. I don’t know if I’ll stick with it, but it’s good enough for this post anyway.

Blue is my favorite color. It is soothing, and strong; bold, but not flashy; it is the background: sky, and sea; Picasso liked it.

I wear a lot of blue: Blue shirts, blue (hooded) sweatshirts, blue jeans. Not blue hats though. I look better in red hats. No blue shoes either. Elvis can keep them. Blue shoes are impractical, and funny-looking.

Blue’s also got a lot of things going for it. Drinks, for example: Blue Margaritas, Creepy Daves, Blue Hawaiian, and Romulan Ale. Blue’s got the St. Louis Blues hockey team. Blue’s got that guy from Old School, Blue. And Weezer’s blue album.

It’s a nice color. Hell, my eyes are blue (mostly).
-t

recommended download:
Weezer, In The Garage, and Surf Wax America

Insomnia

I don’t know exactly what to write. I know I want to write something.

That’s where it stands right now, so John, Adina, etc,  feel free to skip this entry, it’ll be boring.

I spent most of last night watching television and then on the computer previewing Feeder songs on iTunes. Did I mention the Feeder album I got for like three bucks? It’s called “Comfort In Sound.”

Now, previously, my experience of Feeder comes only from Just A Day, a song from the Nintendo 64 Tony Hawk Pro Skater soundtrack, and High, a radio single. Somewhere along the line I also downloaded Insomnia , which I also like. So I know a little bit of their music, and figured, hey, I’ll try a little more for three bucks, right? Right.

Turns out, “Comfort In Sound” is a good album, of the twelve tracks there are only two or three I skip over.

Yesterday I also watched a couple more Lost episodes, didn’t play any video games at all, seriously thought about restringing my guitar, accepted a house-sitting gig for next week, and spoke, briefly, online, with nose girl.

So that’s what’s been happening lately.

-t


recommended download:
Feeder, Comfort In Sound    

Think tank

So what should I do? I’m pretty sure mutual funds are right out. I am not excited about continuing a career in the financial industry. But where do I go from here?

It’s not like I’m a tough guy to please; All I want is to be well-paid to be part of a group of intelligent people solving problems. Sam suggested I join a think tank. That’s not a bad idea, so if anyone knows any think tanks looking for a juggler with a math degree…

Meantime I’ve got to go back to doing hypermanager’s work (and Shannon’s work, and Shelly’s work too, because she called in today).

-t

recommended download:
Dave Matthew Band, Two Step
and
The Coral, Bill McCai, and Pass It On

"Weekly"

There is no such thing as a “work week.” I’ve stopped believing in it. Instead, what formerly was a string of days strung together has become randomly placed individual days, scattered over the calendar (that they fall into patterns of five days on-two days off is irrelevant).

Nothing is carried over from one day to the next. Each stands in isolation. If a higher power interfered and started to rearrange, bringing days that have already happened and placing them in the near future, or reversing days sequentially no one would notice. EVERYTHING IS THE SAME NOW.

I guess you could still call it a “work week,” you know, if you’re into “labels,” but I’m not. I’d much rather “think” about “these” days as random events, happen“stance.” It’s easier that way.


No response yet from monster.
-t



recommended download:
Brian Webb, Martha
The Old 97s, One Brown Shoe

ROAR!

Look, all I’m looking for is a place that will pay me to sit at my desk, talk to my friends online, and listen to my music. Is that too much to ask? I wouldn’t be averse to solving a few problems while I’m there, I’m good at that, I enjoy figuring stuff out.

That would be a good job for me.

I updated my resume on Monster last night – that’s the first step.
-t



recommended download:
Me First And The Gimme Gimmes, Only The Good Die Young (Bruce Springsteen cover)

Found

OH SNAP.

I just bought season one of Lost. IT IS SO GOOD. We just watched "Raised by another"(episode 10) IT WAS SO GOOD.

Don't anybody tell me what happens. This is good television.
-t

recommended download:
Weezer, My Evaline

Force-shortening

I’m at work on Friday covering for three people. I am trying to simultaneously manage the group and do all of hypermanager’s work, cover our new fund that I have had minimal training on, cover all five of Josh’s funds, and still make sure, as I do every day, that the stupid kids don’t bring this all crashing down.

I’m busy and easily annoyed. I do not enjoy working here. Michelle, the quiet senior analyst is here, but you’d never know it. She does her thing and keeps her head down. Dick, the manager I hate, is here, but he’s not, he skipped out near eleven o’clock to do some shopping and we haven’t seen him since. Hypermanager took the day off. Candy, the new senior analyst is out today, and our senior manager is still working on the other side of the floor. So, really, it’s down to me and four accountants: the stupid kid, the not-quite-as-stupid kid, the smart kid, and the foreign kid.

Communists.
-t


recommended download:
Weezer, Mykel and Carli

Journal: Big Drive Oh Five

10/2/05

I’m watching The West Wing, I’m not thinking about the trip to Chicago. I really enjoy driving. I’m excited for the big drive.

10/04/05

I’m hating work now. I hate budgets, I hate the responsibilities I’ve assumed, I hate hate hate it. Soon I am going to post an updated resume on monster. In the meantime I am going to allow this stupid job to fund BIG DRIVE OH FIVE, a spray-on bed liner, new grips for my golf clubs, which, heaven help me, I will get out of work early enough tomorrow to get over to wayland and purchase. Make it to Friday, make it to Friday, that’s all I’ve been saying these past two, has it really only been two days? Just make it to Friday

Right now I’m going to read some more of Atlas Shrugged. HOW APPROPRIATE. Then I will try to rest. The lack of sleep is negatively affecting my mood. More sleep = more happiness, or at least an easier time of fooling myself into thinking I’m happy.

-Car, check
-Laptop, check
-Apartment
-Girlfriend
-Job I like
-Novel

10/05/05

Red Sox are on TV, ALDS game two, after getting smoked by the White Sox 14-2 last night. I got a ton of sleep (ha, almost seven hours) last night, and today at work I had a very similar workload with a much better attitude. It was almost a great day at work. All of a sudden I’m back to my old self. The happy one.

I am so glad Mike Piazza is helping out calling the game. This is so much more enjoyable than Tim MacCarver. Well, anyone would be more enjoyable than that. Props to ABC.

I feel good enough to list all the girls I like right now. Ready? Melissa, voice major, from Texas, a lovely online conversationalist, always excited to talk to me, which I appreciate, trying to hook me up with her friend beth, doesn’t mention her boyfriend tim a lot, which I appreciate. Lesley, who maybe I really don’t like anymore, I must have gotten over the crush, the starstruckness, she doesn’t talk to me much, but we don’t have much contact anyway. Lindsay, sort of but not really, she’s opening up a little more than she used to, nothing romantic for sure, she doesn’t want it, I don’t want it, but it would never work out anyway. Julie Chicago. Some think its nuts, some shake their heads, most disapprove but I don’t care. BIG DRIVE OH FIVE. woo. Anybody else? Maybe, probably. I don’t hate anyone. If Ashley came over to ask me out I’d say yes.

There’s a lot to be said for a good night’s sleep.

10/06/05

We’re watching Iron Chef America. I think tomorrow I’m going to ask my blog what they think of the trip to Milwaukee. Right now I’m just using the laptop because I feel like I have to. You know, I spent the money, I should use it. Blam.

I’m better multi-tasking. AIM, Word, internet explorer. I like to feel like I’m doing something, being busy. Know what I’m sayin?

10/21/05

Saw Kate Earl, Matt Wertz, and Matt Nathanson tonight. John got kicked out of the Paradise for taking off his wristband halfway through Matt’s (AMAZING) set. New songs rocked, electric guitar, solo songs rocked, as usual. (ROCKED) But, the story of the night was Kate Earl, whom Felecia and Lindsay recommended. When John got kicked out I stayed for the end of the song MN was singing (Baba O’Reilly, by the Who) and then went out to meet him, but instead I stopped at the merchandise table and “chatted” with Kate Earl! I bought her a cd, and she asked me if she could sign it. She opened it different (cool) too. To Tom, (heart) Kate Earl, and on the back of the liner she wrote “thanks for chatting (heart).” She showed me pictures of MN on myspace and tried to show me pics of Alaska (her home state), I asked her about her guitar playing (she writes on the guitar, but mostly performs on the piano) and mentioned Ben, who is also from Alaska. I had a blast. They’ll be in Cincinnati tomorrow night. John said I should have asked for her number…and I should have. ha

I guess that’s all for tonight. It was great concert, even though I missed half the set and the encore. But I got KE’s cd. And it’s good. I like the first three tracks (the only ones I’ve listened to so far) so I’m pretty happy. Remind me to re-sign up for myspace and add Kate Earl.

Goodnight.

10/26/2005

Tonight I skipped out of work early to go to some focus group for Kathleen, (half hoping she’d asked Lesley to come too). We suffered through an hour of coffee talk. Then I took the T up to Lindsay and Felecia’s apartment to uninstall their air conditioners. We hung out and listened to the Matt Nathanson concert I’d transferred to mp3 for them while Lindsay and Felecia decided who should be invited to L’s birthday party. Finally we moved Lindsay’s a/c to her car, but right before that Lindsay told me that my birthday present to her should be getting high at her party. I told her that only one girl had ever come close to making me want to smoke pot, and that girl had made out with me. Speaking of Kelly, I’ve seen here online once or twice these last few weeks, and I think there’s still an outside hang-up I’ve got for her. I spent a long time convincing myself, re-training myself to not think about her, but I still had a goofy smile on my face last week after talking with her for ten minutes.

As far as BIG DRIVE OH FIVE, Donny suggested I bring about $7.00 of quarters with me for the Chicago tolls. I haven’t heard from Chicago Julie in a long time, the second game of the ALCS. (White Sox swept Houston for the WS tonight, after that marathon 14 inning game 3).

I’ve got Donny’s gifts to pack for the drive, Amanda’s wedding gift to ship out (and Steve’s gift certificate to buy). Tonight I did give Lindsay her “Indietits” t-shirt, which she did admit to liking a little bit. When Lindsay and Felecia dropped me off at home I brought Domino out to her car and I showed them the new addition.

I am trying to give Star Wars KOTOR another chance on the xbox but I’m stuck in the same stupid city as last time. If I could figure out how to get to the next objective this game might open up a little…

Finally, I’m listening to Kate Earl while I drift off to sleep. I figure with the three late nights in a row I’m going to be dead tomorrow at work. I don’t mind much. Friday: Andrea’s last day, Christina’s party in Brighton (parking?), Saturday maybe I will finally call for a bed liner, and maybe go out Sat. night? We’ll see how it all works out. Right now, I’ve gotta try and get some sleep. G’night.

11/08/05

Testing the laptop battery, (the old one), playing star wars battlefront. Just died, fourteen minutes in. I booked my hotel room today, The Hyatt Regency Chicago. I’m pretty pumped.

I could write a love story. Something like this:All I know is your first name, where you work, and your phone number…but I’ve always been good with numbers. I know that twenty-eight and twenty-three aren’t that much different. Compared to like, a million.

I could write a romance from anywhere, with any players. It may be tougher than I realize to find people who believe in what I think is important though, and what I think is unimportant.

New battery is in, and charging. The plan is to call her from the road, sometime Wednesday, somewhere in Ohio. I’d really like to not be totally exhausted after the all day drive, awake enough to meet for a drink somewhere. And I think I don’t really need to know more about her. Twenty-eight and still talking to a kid who’s like twelve she met one time at a bar in Boston three months ago? Desperate? Maybe she’s between relationships, maybe other things. I can’t think of more possibilities, and I wouldn’t want to dwell on them if I could. She was nice, and she was pretty, and she was outgoing and friendly. She also cried because her friends were making fun of her. I’m not going to think about it, or overthink about it. Maybe that’s past now. I’m going to try and just let things happen. It would be nice to have some company in that hotel room. Now, back to Warehouse, and back to sleep.

11/09/05

I stayed up too late last night reading Transmet. Tonight I’m reading Planetary trade paperbacks. I called today for the keg for Lindsay’s party (hundred bucks, plus ninety deposit) then went out to dinner with Lindsay, Felecia, and John. But it feels like the only thing I can think about is Chicago Julie. I’m starting to feel a little nervousness along with the excitement about the drive. I’m alternating between telling myself it’s a trip to see Donny (taking the edge off the Julie thing), a trip to see Julie (making three days in Milwaukee seem like they could be better spent staying in Chicago), and a trip to drive the truck (which segues nicely into “a thousand for gas, a thousand for gas – plane tickets are two hundred round-trip”).

I’ll be alright. Because it’s really a trip for all three of those things, and mostly to see if I can do it. To enjoy seeing if I can do it. Prepared or not, a thousand miles isn’t so far on the journey of personal discovery. Won’t seem so far when it’s down memory lane.

I think the only things I need now are sandwiches. And to pack. I’ll try to remember to do that.

That’s all for now.

11/13/05

Last night was Lindsay’s kegger birthday, and of course there was way too much beer for the number of people that showed. There was Lindsay and her Kingston crew: Emma, Jimmy, Katie, Adam, Christina, there was Chris (a.k.a. Christ), some 194 BSR girls including Alicia, who took a moment to point out we were in the same Core lecture, Allie, who brought her “eighteen” year old sister and friend, Christina, Felecia’s sister, and friends, and then a big group of Lindsay’s work buddies who brought their own friends who brought their own beer. And a twelve year old kid drinking Coors Light. I don’t know what that was about.

Pretty soon I leave for Milwaukee. I’ve got my cash together, I’ve got laundry done, I think. I’ve got Donny’s house warming gifts, I’ve got the new battery in the laptop (going on fifteen minutes now, still no signs of low power), and I’ve got a playlist that’s about ten hours long.

Monday night I’ll return the half-full keg, see if I can think of any loose ends I need to wrap up, Tuesday I’m leaving work early. I’ll prepare my on the road snacks and double-check I’ve got my phone, phone charger, ipod, ipod charger, laptop, laptop charger, camera, batteries, battery charger. No way it will all fit in the same bag, but Monday maybe I’ll look for a better one to bring.

Between now and then I’ll just try to keep my head down and get lots of rest. Maybe eat some more fruit. BIG DRIVE OH FIVE is almost here.

11/16/05

Big Drive Oh Five. I left Malden at 6:40AM. Door-to-door it took me just over fifteen hours. That fifteen hours includes getting misdirected (twice) in Pennsylvania while (unsuccessfully) trying to buy a case of Yuengling. The fifteen hours also includes the twenty-three minutes I spent pulled-over on the side of Route 90 just past Coffee Creek, IN while on of Indiana’ finest wrote me a speeding ticket.

The drive through Massachusetts was uneventful. I was reminded of other drives I’ve taken to the edge of the state, once you hit New York things just seem different.

New York was fine. I topped off the gas tank just after I crossed state lines and did the whole state without stopping again. I did have to “mosey on” behind a red Volvo and then a black Honda for a combined two hundred miles at a pathetic sixty-five miles an hour. Everyone else was nice enough to get out of my way. There was also the torrential downpour which started at Syracuse and didn’t end until Buffalo, but it didn’t slow me down, you know, too much.

Pennsylvania was quick, I just cut through the uppermost part of the state near Eerie, and was sidetracked trying to find beer. I asked for directions to a place that sold Yuengling at the first gas station off the highway; They told me to go one more exit and look for the store in the same plaza as Chuck E Cheese. Or maybe it’s the plaza opposite…or maybe they couldn’t quite remember, but it’s near Chuck E Cheese, so you should be able to find it.

So, I continue on West one exit and find not one, not two, but six plazas spread out across a divided highway, three on each side. I criss-crossed twice looking for a Chuck E Cheese but found “Liquor and Spirits” first. Unfortunately, all they sold was wine and hard alcohol. No beer whatsoever. The proprietor suggested I go back up one exit to the East, because there’s a place right off the highway that sells it.

I was not going to go East.

Crossing into Ohio was unremarkable. Driving through Cleveland wasn’t anything great, I got stuck in half an hour of rush hour traffic in Toledo, then it was smooth sailing to Indiana.

I made it almost all the way through. I passed South Bend, I passed Calumet, I was fifty miles from Chicago, almost across the Illinois border when the world lit up behind me.

So, yeah, I was doing eighty-eight in a seventy zone. I didn’t protest, but damn it all if that cop hadn’t have pulled me over I would have made the Chicago city limits in fourteen and a half or better.

I got a little lost trying to get onto E. Wacker Drive, because there are two of them (the upper and lower) and getting from one to the other isn’t as clearly marked as it could be, but no worries, that was only a ten minute delay.

Now I’m sitting in my hotel room, showered, shaved, and waiting on a txt msg from Chicago girl. I don’t think I’m going to hear from her.

Adina called, John called, and Donny called (twice) to make sure I hadn’t ended up in the median. My mom called eight times.

11/17/05

Happy Dan Goldin Day. (or) My Chicago Adventure (Part II)

I got a wake up call at nine forty-five, and a second one at ten. I slept until about eleven, showered and got dressed. It was twenty-three degrees out. I braved the cold and walked the Magnificent Mile, I stopped for lunch at Dublin’s. I had two Sam Adams and a burger. And I got a text message from Julie.

I’m back at the hotel room right now, still a little amazed that these bridges I’m crossing are the same ones from Matt Hoffman and Tony Hawk.

More later.
--

I got a txt msg. She said she was sick, and in bed early. She asked how long I’d be in the city. I messaged her back, and left her a voicemail, but it’s eleven o’clock and I haven’t heard back.

I was excited to see her for a little while, now I’m thinking about opening the mini bar.

Milwaukee tomorrow.

Honorable Mention

I was just re-reading a big drive oh five post and, since I don’t have much else to do right now I started answering the questions I’d posed…

Will I really need one thousand dollars for gas?
     Turns out, no. Gas was expensive, but not insanely expensive. I filled up three times on the way to Chicago, and three times on the way back. I paid about $2.01 in Ohio, but $2.40 in New York.

Will I have any trouble buying the Yuengling?
     The answer is a big YES. I pulled over in Eerie, Pennsylvania to buy some beer. I took a promising looking exit near Mercyhurst college, figuring a college town would have booze. I drove around for twenty minutes with no luck, so I pulled into a gas station to ask for some help.
     I walked up to the girl behind the counter, probably eighteen years old, and her dad. I said “I need some help, I’m looking for Yuengling, is there a place around here I can buy a case?” The dad looked at me, then looked at his daughter, tapped her on the shoulder and said “Go ahead, honey, you know better than me, how do you get to that liquor store?”
     She gave me directions to a plaza on exit further away. “Not the stores where Chuck E. Cheese is, the other stores across the road.” Sounded simple enough, I didn’t think rural PA would have more than one Chuck E. Cheese at a stretch.
     I go one exit down the highway, pull off, and discover not one, not two, but six plazas on either side of the road. I end up criss-crossing four times until I finally end up in the plaza with the Chuck E. Cheese, and there is the liquor store.
     So, I park the truck and wander in, gazing at rows upon rows of hard alcohol and wine. Not a beer to be seen. I walk over to the register and say “I’d like to buy a case of Yuengling, but you don’t appear to have any, could you direct me to someplace that carries it?” The clerk said “Sure, what you want to do is go back up the highway, one exit east and there’s a store right off the exit ramp.” I stopped him right there. I’d just come from one exit east. I was not about to backtrack. I got back on the highway and drove to Cleveland, sans Yuengling.

Can I really drive for sixteen hours in a row?
     Yes. On the way to Chicago I did about ninety, I only got stopped once, in Indiana, about thirty miles from the Chicago line, doing 88 mph in a 70 mph zone. I now hate Indiana. (side note: it wasn’t the speeding ticket that bothered me, it was the twenty minutes it took the statie to write the ticket. Without that delay I would have made the Chicago city limits at fourteen and a half hours, even with the delay in Pennsylvania. So yes, I really could drive for sixteen hours, but really, it was only about fourteen hours, because I drove fast.

     Coming back I took my sweet time. Also I didn’t want to get another speeding ticket from the stupid IN state police. I now hate Indiana. It is my least favorite state – that’s right, I like the forty-nine other states more than Indiana, and that’s saying something, because Arkansas is one of those states.
     I made the trip in just over nineteen hours, door-to-door, Donny’s apt. at 12 Milwaukee street, Milwaukee to 123 Main street, Boston non-stop. I think all told I was out of the car for approximately fifteen minutes, the combined total of the time it took to fill up the gas tank six times.


Those are some highlights. I’ll post the actual laptop-journal entry tonight when I get home. It is sickeningly honest, and probably inflamatory, and you know what? Tough. I’m tired of pretending to be everybody’s friend. If you’re offended let me know. (ps Adina, I’m going to preempt your “I was offended” comment: You can’t be offended by non-mention, so don’t bother.)

-tgme


recommended download:
Johnny Cash, I Walk The Line

Welcome Back

I took two days off last week, I took the first two days of this week off too. I was banking on the holiday to keep the workload for today light, and then it’s Friday, so really I was angling for zero days of doing actual work between last Wednesday and next Monday.

Unfortunately, that’s not quite how things work. I’m back today sitting at my desk and even though tomorrow is Thanksgiving there is still work to be done.

So I am legitimately hiding from work. The kid who sits next to me just told me my manager has three projects on his desk for me to work on, which is why I am not going over to the manager’s desk.

I am going to sit right here, hunkered down in my chair, deleting old emails from my inbox. And there are a lot of them. Unless hypermanager comes looking for me, and, based on the amount of work he’s trying to pawn off on me, he’s too busy for that, I’ll still be deleting old emails when lunchtime rolls around.

After lunch I’m going to try and steal a floppy disk from the supply closet and use it to transfer my account of big drive oh five from my laptop to the internet. It is excruciatingly honest, so much out of character with the rest of the stuff I post here that you might cringe as you read it, embarrassed for me, or for the people I write about, because you’re not used to that sort of thing here.

On the other hand, I may re-read it before posting and edit it some. I’m not sure yet. My instinct is pushing me toward “unedited.”

-t


recommended download:
The Shins, Kissing The Lipless

Pressure

You know, I don't even care that they're using Bowie/Queen's Under Pressure for the Zales diamond commercials. The song's just too good, even if it's being exploited for commercial gain it still rocks.

-t

Home

I'm back. There will be detailed posts later, but I thought I should let you all know the first thing I did when I got back was check the blog.

-t

BIG DRIVE OH FIVE

I'm off. 6 AM.

Zero days until BIG DRIVE OH FIVE.

See you next Wednesday.
-t

recommended download:
Journey

One day but today

One day until BIG DRIVE OH FIVE.

yes, I realize the title is a bastardization of the song lyric. Tough.

I've got this feeling that I'm going to leave for this trip and never come back. It is a nice feeling.
-t

recommended download:
The Beatles, I've Got A Feeling

Come here often?

In the past week I have been invited to see
Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire
(IN THEATERS NOW EXCLAMATION EXCLAMATION)
more times than I have been asked out, on dates, my whole life.

That is backwards.
-t

Plant guy is at it again

The problem with stupid guys is not that they’re stupid. They are, don’t get me wrong, they are extremely stupid, but that’s not the problem.

One stupid guy can be handled, even counted on. One person making mistakes is easy to control. Limit his contact with sensitive information, appoint a competent individual to periodically review his work and look for alarming mistakes, and you can run pretty smoothly.

More than one stupid guy can be a lot to handle. But still doable. At least you know they’re stupid, you can watch for their mistakes, learn to expect them, head them off when you can to make your job easier.

No, it’s not that they’re stupid. It’s that other people can sometimes be stupid.

Stupid people don’t know that. They don’t spot problems. They do their job by the book. They live in a world of simple commands. Go here. Type this. Print that. Thinking is not something they do.

So, when the wrong payment comes in for a fund, because a normal person made a mistake, you won’t hear a peep from the stupid guy. Normal people make mistakes. Other normal people know this, and when they see a mistake, they do something.

Not plant guy. He’ll take in the payment, as if it were correct, and you’ll be none the wiser. When it happens on four funds at once it may be too much to expect he will -- at the very least -- make the same mistake on each fund, but, it is too much to expect, you won’t hear a thing.

Until a month later that is, when a not-so-stupid guy brings you the problem. Then, you research the problem, realize stupid guy took in a payment without bringing it to your attention, without knowing it was bad, or alerting people. So what if it didn’t match, he’s just blindly going about his day-to-day activities. He is unconcerned with consequences. His brain doesn’t work like that.

He leaves me with four funds. Two have taken in payments that don’t exist. One has two past-due payments, and has not been adjusted. The fourth had two past-due payments, was then adjusted, and has a third payment pending.

Four funds, with the same issue, have become four funds with six different issues. That were only brought to my attention today. And, because hypermanager doesn’t want to do any work he needs me to solve the problems by tomorrow morning.

I tell you, I’ll do my best – because sure, I hate the job, I hate stupid people, I’m not hypermanager’s biggest fan, but I like getting things right. I like solving problems. And I like being good at what I do.

-t


recommended download:
Pearl Jam, Go and Alive    

Take it back!

Hypermanager manages the vacation calendar. He’s translated the information on the Human Resources webpage into an Excel spreadsheet. He’s got each of his employees listed, the number of vacation days allowed each, and the number taken. The last column is the result of a formula, “days allowed – days taken = days left.”

This last column is of interest because the balance next to my name is negative.

So I’ve taken more days than I was allotted. So what. So, I take a day without pay, what’s money after all?

This isn’t something I’m concerned about; it is, however, something hypermanager is very concerned about. He gets excited when he can apply corporate policy to clearly defined situations. Acceptable clothing, for example, and vacation days: Very clear-cut issues. You can wear jeans, or you can’t. You can take ten days off a year, and no more.

Hypermanager approached me Friday. He said “You took an extra day this year,” holding up the spreadsheet. I said “yeah.”

He said “So, are you going to take one of these days in November back?”
I just looked at him for a minute. Then I said “No.”
He said, “Oh, did you maybe take a day in December you can take back?”
“No.”

He seemed perturbed. Unsure of how to proceed he stood there for a moment gathering his thoughts. I could tell he hadn’t dealt with this sort of thing in the past. Prior to this he must have had complete control, employees groveling for vacation time: “please, please, hypermanager, let me have a day off I need to have surgery I’ll take it without pay if I have to, please” Ridiculous. Let’s get one thing straight right now:

I. Don’t. Care.

I don’t care about your “allotted time” or about “purchasing extra vacation days” or your policies. Bottom line is, if you give me a hard time about taking an extra day, I’ll just leave.

I’m sitting here waiting, waiting, for an excuse. Give me a hard time about dress policy, about vacation time, about covering for someone else’s mistake, and I’m gone. Two-week’s notice right then. So, no, I’m not going to take back a day.

Hypermanager pulled himself together. I could tell by the look in his eye that he’d solved the problem to his own satisfaction.
“You’re going away, aren’t you?” he asked.
“Yeah, that’s right, I’ll be out until Tuesday.”
“So, you can’t really take one of those days back.”
“Nope.” Which is beside the point. I wouldn’t be taking them back even if I was going to sit home for a week. I asked for the time off, you said “ok” end of story.

“Well, ok, how about, yeah I know, I’ll just move this to next year’s sheet. You’ll have one less day next year, how’s that?”
My turn to stare. Are you kidding? You’re that desperate to appease the corporate gods? Fine. Move the numbers however you like. If it means I’m taking a day without pay, fine. If it means you think I’ll take one less day next year, fine.

Because I’m not going to be here long enough next year to use all my vacation time.
-t


recommended download:
Pearl Jam, Corduroy, and MFC

A good way to wind down a countdown

Two days, folks, two days until BIG DRIVE OH FIVE.

I went through iTunes yesterday and deleted a bunch of songs from the BIG DRIVE OH FIVE playlist. I’ve whittled it down to about nineteen hours. That should be plenty.

-t


recommended download:
The Coral, Dreamin’ Of You

A good way to end a bad weekend

Today started with lots of promise. I woke up relaxed and refreshed. I made it to work on time (in fact, I was three minutes early).

But, as I waited for my computer to boot up, the first thing to greet me this morning was the stupid kid.

Honestly? I’d forgotten about him. A whole weekend spent thinking of fun things to do, and doing them, and hanging out with friends, and planning for BIG DRIVE OH FIVE, I’d forgotten all about the stupid kid and hypermanager and the whole bunch.

He didn’t even let me check my email before ruining my day.
-t

recommended download:
The Old 97’s, Valentine

Fake Holiday (part II)

Fuckin’ A, man.

For two days hypermanager has been talking about today’s processing. It’s a fake holiday, so everyone should be finished and gone by one o’clock. That’s a nice start to the weekend.

He asked me to stay late for the one fund that won’t finish early. I said no problem, because I’m a nice guy, and really, I don’t mind staying late. He said he’d let me leave early on Tuesday instead, which works out, it’ll give me a few hours head start on prepping for the BIG DRIVE OH FIVE.

Hypermanager just left. Right now. At two thirty. TWO-THIRTY. I was led to believe I would not be THE ONLY PERSON STAYING IN THE OFFICE UNTIL THE NORMAL TIME.

I have three and a half hours before this fund finishes. I guess I can kill some time by watching CNN’s coverage of whatever crap they’re covering today. I hate CNN.

THE ONLY PERSON STAYING LATE TODAY. Gah.

Monday I’ll let you all know the status of my vacation time, I know you’ll all be excited to read that post because BIG DRIVE OH FIVE plays an important part.

-t
recommended download:
Bruce Springsteen, Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town

Fake Holiday

It’s a fake holiday. The banks are closed, the post office is closed, the stock market is closed, but we’re open. Why?

I have no idea. There are no trades today. There are no rates today. There is nothing today.

But I have to stay late and make sure that there’s nothing today.

Stupid funds. I hate fake holidays.

In other, more important and cheerful news: BIG DRIVE OH FIVE IN ONLY FIVE DAYS!

Happy Veteran’s Day. I hope you all stayed home.
-t

recommended download:
U2, Stand By Me (with Bruce Springsteen)

Asleep at the wheel

So I am becoming a little preoccupied with this trip to Milwaukee. It is a big deal. It is also incredibly expensive. Not that I mind too much, what’s money for but to spend? I’ve got questions racing through my mind.

Will I really need one thousand dollars for gas? Will I have any trouble buying the Yuengling? Can I really drive for sixteen hours in a row?

Honestly, it’s the last one that’s really getting to me. I sit here at work for eight hours a day. I sit at home for six hours or so before going to bed. I’m not an active guy, so I should be used to it, right?

On the other hand, I’ve a genetic predisposition for falling asleep while driving, so maybe I’ll make it three hours into the trip and then wrap my truck around a guard rail. It’d be a good way to save on some of that gas money.

I’ve been thinking about this a little, and you know what you can do? You can call me. Because you’ll be sitting at home, bored, or at work, bored, waiting for an update to my blog, which you won’t be getting because I’ll be out on the road, and you can call me (if you’ve got the number, obviously)!

You’ll be all “how’s BIG DRIVE OH FIVE going?”
And I’ll be all “Pretty good so far, I haven’t fallen asleep once!”
And you’ll be all “Good!”
And that will be it for a couple of seconds, because really, what’s there to talk about?

That might be a dumb idea. I don’t care. I’ve got my playlist.
-t

recommended download:
Dave Matthews Band, Warehouse

The Days Are Numbered

My productivity drops to zero when I open AIM.

Another thing dropping to zero is the number of days until BIG DRIVE OH FIVE.

Six days left.
-t

recommended download:
Saves The Day, At Your Funeral

Hyperdrive

Well, I’ve (sort of) figured out a way around my hypermanager problem.

He gave me most of his daily work. I’m in charge of interest lines, long term maturities, trouble-shooting the stupid kid’s funds, rates, checklists, a whole bunch of stuff. He has less and less to do.

But, because he’s hypermanager, he’s got to check in, make sure I’m doing the work, because, technically, he’s responsible. He comes by my desk for an update about once a day.

But I’ve discovered something nice. I can make him leave me alone

Usually I’m swamped, which is how he plans it, I think.

Me: [engrossed in work, shuffling papers, flying through screens on the system, busy getting stuff done]

Hypermanager: “Hey, how’s it goin’? Did you look into those rates on those three funds? And what about the past-due line on the big fund? Did you have any trouble with the variances I sent you? Did you see the VP’s email about long-term securities?”

Me: “Yeah, right [shuffling papers, half-listening], everything’s good, I’m working on it –them- whatever. No problems [still shuffling]”


He checks in while I’m busy, so he can say he’s checked in. If anything goes wrong he can say “Tom never brought that to my attention.” As if I could, half-listening to him as I was during the “update.”

Not like anything would go wrong, or I’d miss anything, I am good at what I do, after all. I would like it if he just backed off a little bit. More than a little bit, I would like him to leave me the hell alone so I can work, then bring him the results in a basket wrapped in a pretty pink bow.

Today he stopped by for an update, when I was switching between projects, so I had a free minute. And I used it. To give hypermanager and update. A detailed account of what steps I took to figure out the problems, what steps needed to be taken to solve them, and what steps I had completed. His response? He balked, and stuttered, and backed away. He was trying to get the hell out of there. It was great. He doesn’t want the information, he just wants to remind me to do the work. This is the way to get rid of hypermanager: full disclosure, a complete update.

I have the power to get rid of him. I just have to start explaining.
-t

recommended download:
Transformers Theme, Decepticon remix
and
Stan Bush, Dare (from the Transformers movie soundtrack)

What all the excitement's about

Once in eighth grade we had a substitute teacher that confessed she used to get question marks and exclamation points mixed up. She also had a slight lisp (which is not relevant).

Instead of reviewing the history lesson like she was supposed to; she, instead, told the story of her quest to remember, once and for all, what a question mark looked like (?) and what an exclamation point looked like (!). I spent most of the class period doodling Union soldiers and Confederate soldiers playing baseball in my notebook (which is historically accurate), but I also gave a few of the players jetpacks and rocket boots (which is not).

Anyway, she droned on about pneumonic devices she devised to deal with this exclamation problem; she talked about flash cards too. Some of us (all of us) didn’t care, even though it was very apparent she was trying her best to help us in our own un-admitted attempts correctly identify punctuation.

None of her techniques worked, she said, she still couldn’t pick an exclamation mark out of a line-up.

{ : , ] / ! @ % ? }

Then, when she had given up hope, her daughter, all of four years old, came home from school one day to exclaim “we learned about exclamation points today! The teacher says they’re excited periods, that’s why they look like that!” And her problem was solved. Since then she has had no trouble remembering ‘!’ is an exclamation point, and, by default, ‘?’ is a question mark.

It still doesn’t make much sense to me, but it was eighth grade, it’s not like we were going to be doing real work anyway.
-t

The Milwaukee Shuffle

I’m surrounded by so many good songs all the time. Today the playlist has been one hit after another after another. It’s so good today that I’m thinking about just shuffling through my iPod for the drive to Milwaukee and forgetting all about the BIG DRIVE OH FIVE playlist. Maybe I’ll use it for the beginning of the trip, if for no other reason than the first track is the Budweiser lizards talking about “Louie, Louie” and the second track is “Louie, Louie” because I couldn’t resist.  I’ve also got a couple of Simpsons audio clips in there. I’m sure it’s a good playlist, I just don’t want to play it to the exclusion of everything else.

That said; SEVEN DAYS UNTIL BIG DRIVE OH FIVE! That’s one week.
-t

recommended downloads:
Weezer, We Are All On Drugs
Indigo Girls, Tangled Up In Blue (Bob Dylan cover)
Pearl Jam, Present Tense (Live)
The Pogues, The Gentleman Soldier

The DNA song, by Jackie

Hi Tom,

Since you asked so nicely for me to return to blogging, I am going to give you the DNA song exclusive! You can post this. Some of the words may be wrong and there may also be some factual errors...but hey, it needs to rhyme.

(A7)First there was a (D)man named Griffith,
(A7)Trying to cure pneu-(D)monia
He found (G)coated bacteria (D)killed mice,
but un-(A7)coated strands left them (D)alone.

On the road to (G)de(D)oxy(A7)ribonucleic(D) acid
(G)making obser-(D)vations and (A7)wondering (D7)why
(G)de(D)oxy(A7)ribonucleic acid(D)
the research (G)then passed(D) to an(A7)other (D)guy

Avery's plans were more deliberate
he wanted to sort it out
to get past the questions and speculation
and find what this DNA was about.

He mixed dead coated strands with live uncoated ones
and gave a mouse the juice
and when the mice died what he found was astonishing:
the coated strands had reproduced!

Discovering Deoxyribonucleic acid
preparing the world for a paradigm shift
Deoxyribonucleic acid
futher research gave the notion a lift

Hershey and Chase used radioactive labels
Erwin Chargaff found nitrogen bases
Rosalind Franklin found its helixical shape
They're all filling in the empty spaces

On the road to Deoxyribonucleic acid
making discoveries and looking for more
Deoxyribonucleic acid
Stripping life processes to their very core

Soon Watson and Crick put it all together
it was clear in their eyes,
They built and accurate model of DNA
and they won the Nobel prize

They showed the world Deoxyribonucleic acid
so everyone could look and see
Deoxyribonucleic acid
and it's in the cells of you and me

It's deoxyribonucleic acid
contains all the instructions for building proteins
Deoxyribonucleic acid
and it determines how you'll look in your genes [jeans].

I didn't think I'd be able to remember it all but then I got on a roll! [like butter!]

-Jackie

copyright the jackinator

Jokes that aren't funny shouldn't be called jokes

Ok, so do you remember when I told you I don’t like using profanity or repeating negative or derogatory comments? No matter. I’m offering this little disclaimer just to state that I don’t enjoy writing or repeating things of this nature, but felt, in this instance, that I should, so you know what goes on around here.

This is a new development. The stupid kid is interacting with other people. The last time this happened he asked the VP’s secretary if she and her sister were twins from a split egg.

Today he started talking with Jonathan, the opie&anthony fan. Jonathan has a dark sense of humor, sure enough dark humor became the topic of conversation. The conversation was taking place a few cubes away, far enough that I could only hear the highlights. Highlights like

Stupid kid: oh, I’ve got a good one [too low to hear]
Jonathan: oh. Um, wow. That’s...that shouldn’t be repeated. That’s a mean thing to think.

He trumped Jonathan. Then the conversation moved over to Jonathan’s desk, across from mine, where Jonathan started to put his coat on and get the hell out of here so he wouldn’t be associated with Stupid kid. This is the guy that routinely makes jokes about child molestation. Stupid kid caught up with him to say

Stupid kid: Oh, I’ve got another one: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Jonathan: ‘Nothing, you’ve already told her twice.’ That’s a good one, you should have led with that. [quietly] Of course you can only say that to me, you know? That’s another one you can’t say, around here, you know, H-R…some people might take offense.
Stupid kid: Yeah, well, I did have a good one, though.

Well folks. I take offense. I don’t enjoy the jokes, and I already hate the stupid kid; this does nothing to redeem his character in my eyes. I don’t know what his first joke was, I don’t want to know. All I can do is draw the same conclusions I’ve been drawing: He doesn’t understand the social relationships that normal people have. He didn’t check with anyone within earshot before repeating the jokes, like me, or the VP’s secretary. He seemed to revel in this dark humor, and Jonathan’s familiarity with it. Jonathan knows enough to not say anything unless he knows you, knows you won’t be offended, because he doesn’t mean it, he really is only joking. He’s considerate enough to ask if you’ll be offended before offending you. Stupid kid is…stupid.

I’m more disgusted than angry.

The holidays, they are upon us

New post, new post! I just received and email from the vice president’s office. They’re announcing this year’s holiday party! WOOOOO

This means two things: First, you may be in for a treat, another few posts about the drunken ramblings of my coworkers. Second, I have been here WAY TOO LONG. No one should have to suffer through two of these holiday parties.

I think about the only thing I can say is that it will be more fun that the booze cruise. And it will be the last of this office’s holiday parties I attend. No way will I be here for a third. (note to readers, if it starts to look like I am not going to quit my job before the next holiday party, please shoot me or something. (in the leg, obviously, nothing life-threatening, I want to quit my job, not die trying.)

-tgme

A countdown post almost entirely unrelated to countdowns of any sort

The spark, huh? THE spark. Gone. Vanished, vamoosed, left in-a-hurry, diaspora-ed, gone.

You, readers, have accused me, via AIM and lack of commenting, of un-interesting-ness. So, I stand here before you, my fellow bloggers, my faithful readers, friends, romans, and countrymen, guilty. I plead no contest to these charges: The spark is gone.

Why? (why, why did you put her to voicemail) How do you lose “the spark?” Where have all the cowboys gone? And for that matter, where has Paula Cole gone? She was famous back in the day. Ok, back to the topic at hand: the missing spark, she must be found.

I can guess what some of you are thinking, “ha. That no-talent, un-published, hack thinks he can just summon his muse? Just conjure her out of thin air? *poof* creativity? No. That is not how this works. That is never how this works. The muse is fickle, and often feisty, she will spurn your advances when you’ve got a ten page paper due at nine a.m., and tease you when you think about writing your great Armenian novel, then lift you up, soaring on her pixie wings to the highest mountains of creative thought only to drop you at the climax of your ascent, to be dashed on the rocks below like a tasty mussel from a sea gull’s beak.”

Well, I would agree with you, mostly. Though my muse doesn’t have pixie wings, she has a jet pack. Imagine Kelly Preston as a Bond girl and you’ll start to get the picture. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever been abandoned by her the night before a ten page paper was due, so I’ve got that going for me. Maybe your muse sucks. Maybe she meant to help you out on that paper but was hungover or high in some alley off-campus after a night of partying with the football team. No, you won’t get any help from that pill-popping pixie when it counts, she’s more interested in sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll. My muse is classy.

So you know what readers? You can keep your muse. I know mine will be back soon. Maybe after some time off, a week at the baccarat tables in Monte Carlo, a stay in Vienna, a yachting expedition off the coast of Africa maybe, and then she’ll return. Back to her little room in my head. Velvet cushions, a well-stocked bar, a fireplace, in a cozy little space to call home. I’m not worried. She’s bound to be back sometime.

But while we wait, there’s always the countdown: eight days.
-t

recommended download:
Judas Priest, Victim Of Change

Something to believe in

So, I saw a gorgeous girl on the T the other day, last week some time. I was running late that day, I didn’t catch my normal train. That’s when I saw her.

Since I haven’t been trying to be later to work, but things have sort of worked out in that direction. An extra fifteen minutes asleep, and extra quick check of my email before I walk out the door, that sort of thing, will keep me from making my normal train. I’ve been doing things like that.

I realize it’s because I’m hoping to run into her again. She was nice to look at.

Since that day I saw her I’ve also been making an effort – not going out of my way or anything – but making a small effort to look nicer than I did that day (brown shoes black socks, etc). I’ve sort of been dressing up for her.

I haven’t seen her since, but who knows, maybe she only rides the train on Thursdays. It’s the reason I get up (later) in the mornings now. I used to have many reasons to want to come in to work: pretty girl, cute girl, the drive to learn new things, but they’ve all fallen by the wayside, or quit. Now, here, a new reason to make it to the train, and, once I’m on the train I might as well come in to work, because as much as I can’t stand the people here, I’m better than most of them at what we do, and I still take a little pride in understanding things and getting them right.

That’s one thing I hope I’ll never lose.
-t

recommended download:
Marcy Playground, Death Of A Cheerleader    

Woo! Spring Break!!

I’m posting these because Donny just sent them to me. Woo! Spring Break ’04 Quotes. Two notes: I added Donny’s “nasal cavity” quote, and, Donny, I can’t believe you quoted the Muppets.

Myrtle Beach 2004

B – Beth                    J - John
D – Donny                    K - Kat
F – Felecia                    T - Tom


As John merges onto the highway
J:     P. S. kids, I haven’t driven since last summer.

D:     I think I have a piece of M&M in my nasal cavity.

F:     This is the problem with too many pancake houses.

T:     We’re talking about Felecia violating the shotgun rule.
D:     No, we’re talking about you violating the shark.

On breadsticks
D:     Or, as Felecia calls them – ‘sticks of death.’
F:     It’s true.

B:     That must be Sherman.
K:     He was smiling like he was.

On selecting a Muppet movie
K:     So, this one is all about the drinking.

K:     Oh, that’s Duck Pond Road.  (But we all heard it as “Dick Pound.”)

Muppets:     Life’s like a movie.
          Write your own ending.
          Keep on dreaming.
          Keep pretending.
          We did what we set out to do,
          The lovers, the dreamers, and you.

On falling asleep first during the Muppet movies
D:     Please don’t write on my face.

D:     I don’t like my head that elevated.

D:     Did you know ‘vagina’ means ‘sheath’ in Latin.  Where you put your sword in.

On our tennis skills
F:     That was surprisingly decent.

F:     Stop aiming for the old woman!

D:     Are you watching Felecia’s stroke?

J:     I have awkwardly shaped legs!  They make me run funny and jump weird!


J:     Is it really 8 o’clock?

K:     I did but I didn’t mean [to shower.]

K:     I love you, Beth!  I love sleeping with you!

F:     I can’t believe it took four days for someone to throw up.

D:     I’m really hot.

D:     The guy that you’re paying to be building the building…building…the guy.

Nine Lives

Nine days ‘til the Midwest. New time zones, new people, new words for every day things like subs, Coke, and water fountains.

-t


recommended download:
The Beatles, Within You Without You

Lateral

So we lost our senior manager to another group. Officially he’s “covering” while they try and replace the girl who left (one of the fun ones) for more money and more respect at a another financial institution, but really, he’ll “cover” that group for three months, and then just take over permanently.

It’s not such a big deal for us, because our group is the best group in this department. That’s right, this group, that I complain about all the time, is the best in the department. The other groups are really messed up.

So. We lost senior manager. He was cool. This move elevates hypermanager to the supervisory role. He is now ultimately responsible for the performance of the group. Hypermanager has passed on all his daily responsibilities (INCLUDING CHECKLISTS) to me. Also, the stupid kid situation has not improved. I am now delayed approximately two hours every morning dealing with stupid’s funds. I feel I should be paid for those two hours out of his salary.

Ok, I was going to make this a long boring post about work, but can’t because I’m swamped. It sure is a good thing I’ve got a nice long drive ahead of me in about two weeks time. Sure is.

-t


recommended download:
anything by Phantom Planet

Dan Goldin Day explained (again)

Relevant Dan Goldin posts:

The original blog posting about Dan Goldin day containing the original question from a reader about Dan Goldin day.

The answer

And, A nice Daily Free Press article about the situation

Ok, now, I’d just like to point out, that, while I don’t mind posting often, or that I consider this a wasted post just because I’m linking to old posts, this all could have been avoided, KT, if you had just read the archives like any good reader should. They only go back like a year. That’s not really that many posts. In fact, the total number of posts I’ve posted is 444. Wow, Four-hundred forty-four posts. That’s a cool number…maybe I’ll celebrate landmark postings too. Because I’m all about celebrations, I mean come on, I invented Dan Goldin day, didn’t I? (Yes, I did.)

-t


recommended download:
Aram Chobanian , Not Goldin, Nor Silber

Going the Distance (in a Christmasy way)

Twelve days until the big drive to Milwaukee (not until Christmas, that’s a different list)
(sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas)

I need:
One bed liner for the new truck
Two gifts for Donny (ok, I don’t need them, but I need to remember to bring them)
Three drinks before I call the chicago girl
Four turkey and cheese sandwiches for the ride
Five carbonated beverages for the ride
Six more hours until I finish this stupid role playing game that has taken over my life
Seven pairs of socks for the trip
Eight more hours of songs to add to the BIG DRIVE OH FIVE playlist
Nine hundred dollars for gas
Ten dollars in change for tolls
Eleven pipers piping
Twelve bottles of Yuengling (assorted) (I might double that…)


-t


recommended download:
Donna Summer, Hot Stuff    

Progress Report

Well, it’s official. The daily checklist now has to be initialed at the end of the day by hypermanager.

He’s checking off a box to make sure I checked off a box to make sure he’d done what he was supposed to.

It is only a matter of time before I get a new checklist, to check that he checked off on the other checklist that I’ve checked off already.

Later on today I’ll describe for you the drastic personnel changes that have occurred recently, I will highlight those moves that did not remove hypermanager from the group.

-t


recommended download:
Phantom Planet, Hey Now Girl

The Unluckiest Countdown

Big Drive Oh Five


ONLY THIRTEEN DAYS AWAY
-t


recommended download:
Incubus, Summer Romance (Anti-Gravity Love Song)

Better than spellcheck

Hey, listen, I hope someone is checking my math on these countdown posts…because there are going to be at least thirteen more of them, and I’d like to say there should be at most thirteen more of them, but who the hell knows…  It’s not like I graduated from a major university with a math degree or anything. It’s entirely possible (likely?) I’ll end up departing for BIG DRIVE OH FIVE on day negative-three.

-t    

** in the interest of total honesty I’d like to say that I struggled, before publishing this post, with the phrase “there are going to be…” and decided, after some deliberation that “there is going to be…” was even worse. After checking with an outside source it was determined that the correct form is “there will be…” which is much simpler and more elegant. So I’m just letting you know I know, and that I’m not going to change it. Because now this post is twice as long.

BAM!

Winding Road, (the countdown to)

Fourteen days! Fourteen days!

BIG DRIVE OH FIVE in

Fourteen days!

-t
recommended download
men at work, land down under



urgh…I just took a bite of my spicy chicken sandwich and got a mouth full of mayo. blech.

Something better than rest for the weary

I woke up today at eight. No, strike that. My alarm went off today at eight, I hit the snooze until nine.

Twenty minutes later, showered, dressed, and hungry, I made my way to the train. And beyond the normal reasons I like getting to work late (less work) there was another reason today: I saw the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in real life.

Now, I’m going to qualify that: There have been other girls I have found more attractive, physically; There have been more girls I’ve found more beautiful, personally; but this girl was the most objectively beautiful I’ve ever seen.

Nothing spectacular happened, readers, so don’t get your hopes up for an interesting post. That was it: an amazing girl was on the same train. This post is just here to document it, like taking a snapshot in front of the Notre Dame Cathedral. The picture won’t do it justice, but you can say you were there, that you saw it. Notre Dame doesn’t care that it was six in the morning, Paris time, and you were half-asleep from jet-lag and a night of video games in your hotel room, but you care. Because Notre Dame is impressive. And so was this dame. Massive towers, the bells, the stained glass, the Coach bag, the whole works.

-t


recommended download:
The Beatles, Across The Universe

Update Downdate

Wow. I almost forgot to update the countdown. Almost.

BIG DRIVE OH FIVE IN 15 DAYS

That’s what updating a countdown should look like.
Word.

-t
recommended download
The Get Up Kids, Mass Pike

Signing Off

We handle billions of dollars a day, every day the market is open, shares of mutual funds, variable rate securities, buy low-sell high. It comes as no surprise that the people who work here, then, have mastered passing the buck.

We have checklists for every procedure. Daily checklists for each fund, a daily checklist for the group, checklists for releasing funds, a nightly email checklist, monthly checklists for reinvesting, budget checklists for each budget, because the primary operating guideline here is “cover your own ass.”

Managers aren’t happy until they have a checklist in place for every procedure they could possibly be responsible for, a checklist they can distribute to their employees delegating responsibility, but more importantly, culpability. They’re not happy until they can say “It wasn’t my fault, it was Tom’s job to review the checklist.”

I’m in charge of “the daily checklist.” There are twenty-three items on the checklist that need to get done every day. Six of the items on the checklist need to be checked off, and then signed off by a manager. Three of those items are completed every day by a manager.

So this is where it gets a little ridiculous. My job is to ask hypermanager if he emailed certain fund information to a certain guy, like he does every day, check it off, and then give him the checklist to so he can sign off that I confirmed the email was sent.

Heaven forbid I forget to place a checkmark next to something. The wrath of hypermanager will descend upon me. Never mind that whatever I didn’t check off was completed, or that it has never been missed, ever, because we do it every day. Never mind that everything on the list was completed daily, without fail, before hypermanager decided we needed a checklist for it. If I didn’t check it off that list, if that implies I didn’t follow through on a task, that means it falls to hypermanager to make sure things were done right. That means he’s responsible – and the buck can’t stop there. No, corporate hath no annoyance like a culpable account manager.

I hate these checklists.
-t


recommended download:
Lemonheads, Mrs. Robinson (Simon & Garfunkle cover)