This Year In November

Welcome back, RSS subscribers! This is your yearly reminder that Dan Goldin Day is fast approaching.

November 17th falls on a Thursday this year, so the holiday will be observed on Friday, November 18th.

For any of you who want to class-up the celebration this year and serve fancy foods at a Dan Goldin Day cocktail party, I'm providing these two videos demonstrating the proper way to prepare an edible garnish:

Dan Goldin Day 2010 Is Happening Right Now!

As an unfortunate result of the international economic crisis this year's Dan Goldin Day celebration has been drastically scaled back. Official DGD celebrations are only scheduled for Milwaukee, WI and Boston, MA this year.

As always, we here at DGD HQ still encourage Dan Goldin supporters to observe the holiday wherever they may find themselves on November 17th (hopefully not at work!) and keep the memory of Dan Goldin's victory over the Boston University Trustees in your hearts as you try and shirk any and all of your job-related responsibilities. (Just think, if the guy who invented credit-default swaps had a little more of the Dan Goldin spirit in him he may never have given Wall Street the tool to bring down the US financial system. He could have been sitting at home playing video games and drinking instead. Yet one more reason to spread DGD as far and wide as possible!)

I would also like to offer a brief apology for the brevity of this annual DGD post, but the aforementioned economic crisis has affected us in some unexpected ways, including a word-count restriction passed just last week by the DGD board of directors. (11-6, 2 abstained)

I would also like to call special attention to our Milwaukee branch (and regional manager Donny Bo-bonny) for the extrodinary achievement, this year, of having Dan Goldin Day mentioned on the hour on NPR radio. So tune in, and raise a glass to Dan Goldin!

So, in closing, happy Dan Goldin Day 2010! Shirk, drink, and be merry!

-Tom

PS - links to some previous DGD posts

Happy Dan Goldin Day!

Happy Dan Goldin Day 2009, everyone! I hope you're all reading this post from home with a drink in front of you, or over a pint at your local watering hole, having skipped out on work to honor the decision by the Boston University Trustees to grant a day off to the students of Boston Uniersity after awarding, and then rescinding, a contract to ex-NASA Mr. Dan Goldin, and obligating themselves to payout $1.8 million for breach of that contract. (full career summation here)

For those readers interested, here is a partial list of cities celebrating DGD '09: (east to west)

Boston, MA
Stoneham, MA
Manchester, NH
New York, NY
Philadelphia, PA
Baltimore, MD
Birmingham, AL
Milwaukee, WI (observed 11/20/09)
Arlington, TX
Lawton, OK
Seattle, WA
Te Anua, NZ
Mackay, AU
London, GB
Dublin, IE


Celebrating in a city not on the list? Let me know in the comments! We're still missing Eastern Europe, South America, all of Africa, Asia, and I'm still waiting to hear from you Antarticans!

Too ditching work, and getting paid!

-Tom

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The Hottest Dan Goldin Day On Record

We are less than a week away from Dan Goldin Day 2009!

The 2009 Observance Calendar is a little bit wonky due to the conflicting local customs, mid-week holiday, and gas boiler installation.

So, as a public service to all DGD celebrants, I present the following, official, Dan Goldin Day Observance Calendar 2009, please update your Dilbert or Farside November pages accordingly based on your location or circumstance:




A brief explanation:

Monday, Nov. 16th Dan Goldin Day (Traditional Observation) - International and Domestic* celebration of the holiday on the nearest Monday or Friday to encourage three-day weekend.

Tuesday, Nov. 17th - Dan Goldin Day (Founder's Observation) The happy coincidence of DGD and scheduled installation of a brand new gas boiler in my home provides a dual excuse to ditch work on Tuesday, which means a happy holiday for everyone who lives at my address.

Friday, Nov. 20 - Dan Goldin Day (Traditional Observation, Milwaukee) - Milwaukeers observe DGD on the nearest Friday to maximize the opportunity for missing a brewery tour, eating fried fish, and listening to a live polka band.

*Celebrated domestically in all locations that are not observing Milwaukee or Founder's DGD


Please contact your local Dan Goldin Day ambassadors for information regarding organized Dan Goldin Day activities including parade route and start times, as well as regulations for DGD float construction and municipal permits.

-T

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Dan Goldin Day Prep

We are two months away from DGD '09 and I want to make sure everyone is ready!

For a brief history of Dan Golding Day please refer to the previous posts on this blog (here). I would direct you to Dan Goldin's wikipedia page, but the "editors" keep deleting my updates. [UPDATE - holy crap! "Dan Goldin Day" is a sub-head on the wikipedai page!]

In brief: DG got paid for, basically, not showing up for work as BU prez, and we, the students, got a day off from school for his parade, even after it was cancelled, which gave me an extra day to study for an insane math exam, which I then passed, allowing me to graduate, then get job, buy things, etc.

To celebrate, simply take the day off work, and have a drink in Dan Goldin's honor, to commemorate those times when not showing up for work works out the best for everyone involved.

This year November 17th falls on a Tuesday, so the official observation of DGD will be Monday, October 16, 2009.

For those of you who cannot take a day off, feign sickness, or call out, I recommend a long lunch instead, heavily lubricated by alcohol.

One final note on the expansion of DGD internationally, this year we expect to be celebrating not only in the DGD bastions of old (Boston MA, Milwaukee WI) and new (Philadelphia PA, Baltimore MD), but a few new American cities (Lawton OK, Seattle WA) and at least one international city (Dublin IRE).

For those readers celebrating in a town I have not mentioned above, please drop me a line in the comments and I will be sure to add your city to the DGD roster. (I'm talking to you Londoners, Kiwis, and Antartic Station researchers who love reading the blog and skipping out on work for the flimsiest of reasons.)

Happy Dan Goldin Day 2009, everyone!

-t

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Dan Goldin Day On The Emerald Isle

In preparation for my impending trip to the Emerald Isle I am trying to immerse myself in all things Irish, and, as the trip came together very last-minute I wasn't left the time for some long-term study or prolonged build-up of materials, instead I'm doing as much as I can as fast as I can. Like the night before an exam.

Modern technology, it turns out, is the perfect tool for this sort of high-speed, last-minute, cultural skimming.

So, I've changed my homepage from google.com to google.ie, following random twitter feeds published by anyone within two degrees of longitude of Limerick (oconlan), subscribed to a number of blogs authored by Dubliners (like Eclectic Micks) and non-Dubliners as well (culch.ie)

[Which is where I heard this cover of The Beatles Come Together which I had never heard before.]

I've also been creating new Pandora stations seeded with Irish bands, specifically The Dubliners, and The Young Dubliners, where I found this, hilarious, song:



I'm going to read the collected works of James Joyce tomorrow.

-t

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After Week-Long DGD Hangover

I needed something to pick me up:
comics.com

Happy Thanksgiving Week, and welcome back. I'm trying to return to a semi-regular posting schedule, so start warming up those RSS readers.

-t

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Dan Goldin Day Reminder

Dan Goldin Day is night upon us! Mark your calendars!

November 17th (as if you'd forgotten)

*Bonus* This year DGD falls on a Monday! Three day weekend!


-t

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*Footnote* DGD is always observed on the closest Monday or Friday in order to maximize three-day weekends.

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Happy Dan Goldin Day 2007!

Happy Dan Goldin Day everyone. I've already played three hours of Halo (then accidentally erased my progress, d'oh)

Later, I might go see a movie.

Eventually I'm going to sucker someone into paying me 1.4 million dollars to celebrate this holiday.

-t

Also, if you're in Milwaukee, the DGD07 fest is in full swing including the annual sold-out brewery tour.

Dan Goldin Day 2007

I was a little down on Monday, seeing as it's the start of the week, and my job isn't the greatest thing going right now, and I'd really, really, really, like to keep playing Halo (btw, I just bought Halo - the original - and I'm dying to finish the campaign), and, plus, it's Monday morning. Five days to freedom, right?

WRONG! Because I quickly realized that it was Monday the twelfth, which, as we all know, is only four days away from Friday the sixteenth! Which, as we all know, is the day we will observe DAN GOLDIN DAY 2007!!

Four day work week! Wooo!

I celebrated this realization last night by playing more Halo. Friday Samantha and I are going to see American Gangster.

Dan Goldin Day is like, far and away, my favorite holiday for which I am responsible.

DON'T FORGET! DGD '07 celebrated THIS FRIDAY, 11/16/07! Take the day off, take half a day, have a beer at lunch!

-t

Dan Goldin Day '07!

Less than a day after I mention lasers in a blog post someone goes and invents one that does something totally useful: kills germs.

The Virus Eradicating Laser!


But on to the real news:

Dan Goldin Day is only two weeks away! Since November 17, 2007 falls on a Saturday, the holiday will be observed November 16, Friday, two weeks from today!

I hope everyone has made plans to take at least a half day from work, checked your local newspapers for details about the Dan Goldin Day Parade in your area, and is pretty well along in construction of the traditional Dan Goldin Day costumes. Also there are presents...and turkey. Ooh! And the traditional (political) fireworks.

For those of you celebrating in the Boston area (Erin, Jenny, Eileen) or those of you (John, Donny, Adina...) who are planning on coming to Boston for the festivities, I will have the day off and plan to celebrate with a beer or two over lunch - to start.

I've left comments open so you can recount your favorite Dan Goldin Day memory, or especially great plans for DGD'07

-t

Happy Dan Goldin Day!

I feel like I'm already on vacation. My lazy manager is out today, and Insolen Bob is out too! I could have a great Dan Goldin Day without even leaving my cubicle! Which, of course, is totally not the point. I'll be skipping out at noon just like I planned.

And I'm thinking about heading home after lunch and watching Star Trek all day.

If that doesn't sound like a great time, you must be deaf.

-t

Tips and Tricks for Accomplishing Your Own Dan Goldin Day Miracle

Things have been cleared for my Dan Goldin Day. I'm skipping out of work at noon tomorrow to go celebrate. I cleared it with Sandra, my new manager, by surreptisiously misleading her with the "Two Facts" trick (detailed below).


Tips and Tricks:

1. "I'm Sick" - This is a classic get-out-of-work-free card. If you're not familiar with it, this is the first one you should learn. For ameteur practitioners looking to move up from the "He called in, you know, "sick" today" level to the genuine "He didn't sound too good, I hope he can make it in Moday" level, remember that the most effective lie is the total lie. Give them the whole package. For managers, and people with brains, it's easy to see through the "cough while I'm on the phone" ploy - but, if you approach it like a role, you'll be well on your way to a five-day weekend: Think about exactly how you act when you're actually sick; hunch your shoulders; try not to move unless absolutely necessary; curl up, put on a jacket; think about wanting chicken soup but feeling too naseous to eat it - then make the phone call.

*Careful not to play the sick bit up too much, though, or you might accidentally convince yourself you feel terrible. Happened to me once, and I lost a week in Cabo huddled in the hotel room watching Criminal Intent reruns in Spanish.


2. Two Facts - This is for those folks who have qualms about lying to their boss. It capitalizes on trust and inference. It simply requires that you string two facts together and allow your boss's (no doubt, well placed) trust in you, and the natural human tendency toward inference to take over. This is the technique I used today:

I said. "I'm leaving work early tomorrow" and then said "I had to reschedule a dentist's appointment."

Strung together it's only natural to assume the reason I'm leaving work is to make it to my dentist appointment. It's not true. I'm leaving work because it's Dan Goldin Day.

I did, however, have to reschedule a dentist's appointment. It happened last May. I called the dentist and said "Can we move tomorrow's appointment from one o'clock to three o'clock? Thanks."

Both statements are absolutely true, so you're not actually lying. You're covered by your manager's assumptions.

3. "Pokey Died" - Pokey, in this case, being a pet gerbil. This method is also known in some circles as "Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie." It differes from the "I'm Sick" method in that this one requires no role playing. Pokey died, yes, and you need some time off to grieve for your poor twenty-seven year-old pet, but you're not going to carry that grief into work or make a big show.

The most important thing to remember when lying is this: Keep it simple.

Don't offer up any unnecessary details, don't offer any explanations, don't volulnteer any information.

That's not to say you shouldn't be prepared with a background story. Background is essential. But again, keep it simple.

The "We got him on my eighth birthday, he was the only thing that got me through the assassination attempt on President Roosevelt, I gave him a blood transfusion once..." excuse might not ring true if questioned, as gerbils can't get human blood transfusions, you don't know which Roosevelt administration you were supposedly alive for, and you never had an eighth birthday.

Saying "Bob and I are feeding the homeless this afternoon" will backfire if Bob's sitting right there and blurts out "You told me you were going golfing!" So in order to keep Bob from indignantly ladeling vegetable medley down at the soup kitchen you can either let him in on the lie, which I don't advocate, or, again, keep it simple.

Use things no one can dispute. "I have to leave tomorrow at noon..."Family trouble." also popular are:
"Personal problems."
"I'm an alcoholic." and
"I'm a robot."


4. "I think I'm in love with you" - Finally, and use this one sparingly, you can create an uncomfortable situation at work by becoming too personal with a fellow employee or manager. This works especially well on managers of the same sex, as you're calling in uncomfortable relationship issues and potentially uncomfortable social issues. When done correctly the manager will actually suggest themselves that you take the day off.

"Looks like you need some time off. Why don't you take tomorrow off and come back Monday with your head on straight - uh, I mean, 'normal'- ah- just take the day off!!"

*Note, don't try this with ugly managers that might reciprocate. That's dangerous.


-t

Dan Goldin Day: Past and Future; (Present To Follow)

In November 2003 it was announced that the university I, Tom, was attending had just decided on a new president. A former NASA executive and fundraiser, he was much ballyhooed by the university's trustees and some of their close personal friends. His name was Dan Goldin.

The trustees decided immediately to throw a parade in honor of the decision. They scheduled it for November 17th. In order to boost turn out, or win the admiration of the student body, the trustees cancelled classes for the entire day.

The day they picked to cancel happened to coincide with a ridiculously difficult math exam I was scheduled to take. The professor was forced to postpone. I love the trustees.

It truly was a glorious time to be a harried Boston University student who needed an extra day to study for a midterm mathematics exam.


But then, tragedy, sort of. The trustees, mere moments (it seemed) after selecting our hero (Dan Goldin) to lead the university into the next age, passed a vote of No Confidence in their appointee!

Dan Goldin Ex-President? It was true. Having never set foot in his office, having never worked on day, hour, or minute, as president of this university, he'd been dismissed.

He had, however, signed the contract which entitled him to, approximately, $1.8 million dollars (USD) severance pay. For not working. Million. For signing his name.

We, the student body, were outraged. Well, no, that's an overstatement. Tuition money has gone to more foolhardy plans than a botched presidential selection.

We were, however, worried for our day off. What was to come of the parade they'd scheduled? Would we have to go to class? WHAT OF DONUTS?!

The trustees, in their infinite generosity, decided to not only give Dan Goldin his hefty parting gift, but also give the student body the day off, like they promised.

The extra day to lay around (and also do some studying) was almost better than a gigantic cash windfall (I wouldn't know if it were actually better, having never been simply handed $1.8 million dollars).

And, since that day, November 17th, 2003, I have vowed to celebrate Dan Goldin and his ridiculous part in the proceedings every year by skipping work/school/etc and doing whatever I please.

Since then, the celebration has grown, usually through college friends spreading the story and the tradition as they move away from Boston and to other exotic locales - like Milwaukee, Wisconsin - where, last year, they celebrated with a brewery tour.

This year I've enlisted the aid of many other friends to spread the holiday even further. 2006 will feature additional celebrations in Indiana, California, Missouri, Georgia, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Guatemala, and, hopefully, New Zealand.

Dan Goldin Day has gone international.

So, to sum up, the spirit of the holiday is this:

Skip out on work, lay around, celebrate however you see fit.

Whether it's a two-car parade through the center of town, drivers waving at confused townsfolk (like Dan Goldin Day 2005), or a brewery tour (which seems to be the most popular variant this year,) or simply sleeping in, playing xbox all day instead of going to work, and raising a pint to Dan Goldin, I urge you to enjoy it.

Thanks all,

-Tom

Fourth Annual Dan Goldin Day To Be Celebrated Nationwide This Friday, November 17th

Dan Goldin Day, a holiday I instituted in 2003, has gone national. Keep an eye here for Dan Goldin updates throughout the week.

To start, a little background:

From Boston.com: "[Nov. 1, 2003] The [Boston University] trustees paid Goldin $1.8 million to walk away from the job he was supposed to start today...BU's employment contract with the incoming president would have paid him a salary of $750,000 a year for five years, plus extensive benefits and a severance package that would take effect once he assumed office."

From my archives:
"[Nov. 18,2004] for those of you unfamiliar with Dan Goldin, or Dan Goldin Day here's a brief wrap-up ...BU had elected him prez, decided to throw him a party and gave everyone the day off last Nov. 17th (2003) then, when they booted him, they were going to cancel the day off which would have forced me to take an exam for which I wasn't prepared. However, cool guys that the BU trustees are, they decided to give us the day off anyway, thus saving me from a sure failure. Consequently, I took an oath that day to celebrate Dan Goldin and the role he played in the debacle, by celebrating "Dan Goldin Day" every Nov. 17th (observed this friday, Nov. 18th - see earlier post for schedule for the week of 11/15). Also, it's much easier to say and remember than "Nov. 17th, I-lucked-out-and-got-extra-time-to-study-for-a-big-exam day" :)


And, two emails from Donny:
"It's incredible how many people in Milwaukee are now aware of Dan Goldin Day. This could really catch on."

"We're going on the brewery tour again. But I have had numerous people ask about the holiday - Joe, Carla, Kristy, Jon, and my coworkers. Today I actually used the phrase, "another Dan Goldin Day miracle!"

-Donny"


For more Dan Goldin Day news and highlights stay tuned here, Weblog: a20261. Thanks for playing along.

-t

Work Cancelled Nation-wide, Please See The Following

The day after Halloween? No one should be expected to come into work! We should all be expected to stay home, clean the egg from our doorsteps, shaving cream from our cars, and gorge ourselves on the "leftover" candy meant for the trick-or-treaters.

No one should have to go to work after a holiday. Or on a holiday.

I'm compiling a list:

2007 Holidays

January
01/01 - New Year's Day
01/06 - Little Christmas/Feast of the Nativity/Epiphany

February
02/14 - Valentine's Day
02/19 - President's Day (observed)

March
03/17 - St. Patrick's Day/Evacuation Day (City of Boston)

April
04/01 - April Fool's Day
04/06 - Good Friday
04/09 - Easter Monday/Patriots Day (New England)

May
05/28 - Memorial Day

June
06/17 - World Juggling Day

July
07/04 - Independence Day
07/24 - my birthday

September
09/3 - Labor Day

October
10/08 - Columbus Day (observed)
10/31 - Halloween

November
11/01 - All Saints Day/Day of the Dead (Mexico)
11/12 - Veteran's Day (observed)
11/17 - Dan Goldin Day
11/22 - Thanksgiving
11/23 - Day after Thanksgiving

December
12/24 - Christmas Eve
12/25 - Christmas
12/31 - New Year's Eve


Basically all non-essential personnel get those days off. (Essential personnel include fire, police, emergency, and tourist industries)

Also, you shouldn't work on your birthday, whenever that falls. And no one should have to work on my birthday. That day should be filled with international Xbox tournaments, beer, pizza, and general merriment and revelry. And parades, if that's your thing and you like throwing them.

It's a work in progress. Spot any I missed?

-t

recommended download:
Weezer, Holiday

A Cure for what ails you me us

I don't think anyone should be required to come in to work on Mondays. I feel so strongly, in fact, that I would make that the central tenet of my congressional platform. They'll call me the "long-weekend candidate."

Also among my goals will be to nationalize Dan Goldin Day, abolish stupid laws, and make economics a required course for all college students. I had some other goals too, but I've forgotten them.

Back to the main issue: The weekend should include Monday. Everyone would be happy. No one hates Mondays anymore because it's a day off, and no one will hate Tuesdays because it's the start of a four-day work week.

Decades later I'm sure people will begin to forget that Monday was once a dreaded day on the calendar, and start hating Tuesday as the begining of the week.

That's ok. Let Tuesday see how it feels for a while.

And know I've got some critics out there. "Only a hippie/liberal/republican/unionist would make Monday the third weekend day. True patriots say it should be Friday!" They'll shout. "What have you got against Friday?"

I say to you I have nothing against Friday, in fact, I love Friday - and so do you! Everyone looks forward to Fridays as the start of their weekend, and you ask me to take that away?

Let's not overlook the fact that such drastic change, as my opponents propose, would ruin a nation-wide franchise of quality resturants, because the phrase is not "Thank Goodness It's Thursday," is it? No.

No, if we cancel work on Fridays henceforth it does nothing for Monday's reputation, nothing to cure "the Mondays," nothing to help the legions of beleagured workers across the nation.

Perpetual long-weekends. Vote for Tom.

-t

recommended download:
bluegrass anything.

Oh, and one month mandatory vacation.

Get up, get out

I keep a list of days that should be national holidays. The list is called "Days nobody should have to work"

Most of the current national holidays are on there: Christmas, Fourth of July, etc.

Over time I have slowly added to the list as new days come up.

You may all be familiar with my quest to bring Dan Goldin Day to the people of the United States.

This past weekend I learned of another: Yuri's Night. It's a celebration to commemorate the anniversary of the first manned earth orbit.

Today is one too. You might know it as Easter Monday, or Patriot's Day, or Marathon Monday.


As far as today being Easter Monday: All I'm saying is if the stock market closes for Good Friday what's the deal with them being open on Easter Monday? Ireland's closed today, you know why? Because it's Easter Monday.

Patriot's Day: We can't take a day off of work to celebrate those brave colonialists who threw off the yoke of oppression way back when three-cornered hats were all the rage? Callous. We've got Independence day to celebrate our wacky independence, but no day to cheer for the heroes that made it possible.

But MOST IMPORTANTLY it's Marathon Monday. The day the Boston Marathon is run. The only day the Red Sox play a morning game (designed to finish just as the first wave of runners pass through Kenmore Square. Imagine a see of thirty-six thousand crazy Red Sox fans rolling out of Fenway just as the leaders pass through Kenmore. The crowds that were six people deep are all-of-a-sudden twenty deep. The cheers are deafening. These are fans and they know encouragement. MOST IMPORTANTLY this is the day you get your twelve pack and carry it out onto Beacon street and scream your head off for the runners, and the wheelchairers while getting drunk in the middle of Beacon street.

YOU CANT DO THAT IF YOU'RE STUCK IN A CUBICLE.

It should totally be a national holiday. People in California should be taking six packs into the middle of their streets and drinking and cheering for people running three thousand miles away. Or they can cheer because they love those brave patriots who fought for their brand new country two hundred thirty years ago. Or because it's Easter Monday.

Or just cheer because they don't have to go in to work.

That's reason enough for me to cheer.
-t

Dublin Waves

My resume was rejected by one of the four consulting firms I’d contacted, I haven’t heard from the other three.

Meanwhile my emails to Dublin have gone unanswered.

It will be very hard to find another job if no one wants to hire me.

But, unanswered emails aside, Dublin is now the frontrunner. I won’t have to leave the company, but I’ll be able to leave the group.

I’ve caught myself thinking about what I’d do over in Dublin, the upsides and the downsides:

Downside:
Missing Major League Baseball and (real) American Football
Upside:
learn to play cricket, and have a legitimate shot of making the Irish Olympic Hockey team, assuming I can establish both Irish citizenship and an Irish Olympic Hockey Program

Downside:
leaving every single friend (and every married or engaged friend too) I’ve ever made on this continent
Upside:
get a new gang of Ireland friends

Downside:
no Yuengling
Upside:
lots of Guinness

Downside:
None of my region 1 dvds will play on European dvd players
Upside:
Danger Mouse dvds will be a lot easier to find in Ireland

Downside:
possibly missing holidays like New Year’s and Christmas
Upside:
taking Dan Goldin Day international.


-t
recommended download: Matt Nathanson, anything live

Dan Goldin Day explained (again)

Relevant Dan Goldin posts:

The original blog posting about Dan Goldin day containing the original question from a reader about Dan Goldin day.

The answer

And, A nice Daily Free Press article about the situation

Ok, now, I’d just like to point out, that, while I don’t mind posting often, or that I consider this a wasted post just because I’m linking to old posts, this all could have been avoided, KT, if you had just read the archives like any good reader should. They only go back like a year. That’s not really that many posts. In fact, the total number of posts I’ve posted is 444. Wow, Four-hundred forty-four posts. That’s a cool number…maybe I’ll celebrate landmark postings too. Because I’m all about celebrations, I mean come on, I invented Dan Goldin day, didn’t I? (Yes, I did.)

-t


recommended download:
Aram Chobanian , Not Goldin, Nor Silber