Monday, February 28, 2005

I knew this was coming

I am going to claw my eyes out. The girl that only watches tv is talking about the oscars. I knew she would be, television is the highlight of her day. I knew it was coming, and I knew it would be annoying, and it is, argh. I know, I should probably claw my ears off if I don't want to hear about it, but I think that would be more painful and disturbing. "claw my eyes out" at least that's something you hear every now and then, getting ears cut off only happens in torture scenes or in ultimate fighting. gah.

I just keep thinking to myeslf: I won't be here next week, I won't be here next week. It's keeping me going so far, but I don't know how long it will help, since "so far" has been the first half hour of the work week. I have to go get some coffee or something.

Also, the girl I was going to ask out, who turned me down, or whatever, I thought I'd let you readers know, the magic's gone. No more nervousness, no more hopefulness, none of that crap. I couldn't talk to her before because when I got near her I'd get this buzzing in my ears, I couldn't hear anything, it was the blood pounding through my veins. Doesn't happen anymore. And I'm glad. I was half convinced that's what happens when you like somebody a whole lot. It couldn't be though, because then every guy on the planet would be dropping dead of hypertension by the age of twenty-three. True love must have other symptoms.

-Tom

recommended downloads:
Three Doors Down, Ticket To Heaven

Friday, February 25, 2005

People I hate

Do any of you out there have a friend or two, probably someone you've known for some time, probably someone you met at college, some frend out there, who you just, you know, hate?

I do.

Now, it's tough saying you hate a friend, because well, that's just this side of contradictory, how could you hate someone and also call him a friend? Well, here's how.

You meet the person, maybe you have the same class freshman year, maybe he lives the floor below you in the dorm, maybe you know a girl and she starts dating this kid and he's accepted into the group. The relationship grows, as it would with any other friend (the ones you don't hate)- he invites you to a superbowl party, you see him at social gatherings, etc. You're certainly under the impression that he counts you as a friend, and so you think to yourself, sure, why wouldn't I think of him in the same capacity. At this point the relationship plateaus. Maybe you've graduated, or moved away, perhaps you don't see each other as often, maybe only online occassionally or perhaps at a holiday gathering. That's where you start to realize. You might be having a better time at this holiday party if maybe this "friend" of yours wasn't there. Maybe it's you, maybe he's just having an off night, but you inexplicably find him a constant annoyance. Maybe then you start seeing him a little more often, not as frequently as back in the day, but more than once-in-a-great-while, and you continue to realize, you don't really like him as much as you expect to like a friend, as much as you thought you liked him while he was away, you find this perplexing, but not overly so.

It's a very gradual process. You've known this person for four years, lived with them, worked with them, hung out with them, and so on, and yet, and yet, you are more and more aware of how much they get on your nerves, of how, at this point, there's no way you'd start up a friendship with a person like this. So why do you consider him a friend now? Has he changed? Have you changed? No. It's just that way back when you were open and friendly and not really paying that much attention to the people you welcomed into your circle. Now, you're older, more experienced, and you know that there are people that, while they may be good people in their own right, are people you hate. And guess what. You hate this kid.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. You've just come to the full realization of your feelings toward this individual, and also possibly his girlfriend who is the reason you know him in the first place. Nothing wrong with hating people. So maybe you have this person you know, and maybe you've known him for a while, and maybe you see him off and on now, and maybe he's more and more unlike people you want as friends every time you see him, and maybe his name's John, and maybe you can't stand the sight of him, and maybe well, maybe it's time you delete that name on your buddy list, and maybe stop taking his calls, and maybe just let this guy fade away. Because, man do you hate him.

The end.

-Tom
recommended downloads
The Doors, People Are Strange

so this is the deal

my big plans for tonight? to sleep.
You may not think that is fun and exciting. You may say, Tom, what if some hot girl were to ask you out? would you forego sleep then?
No. I would not.
This is the deal, if an attractive woman were to ask me out I would tell her that my plans for tonight were sleeping, sleeping and sleeping in, in that order. However, I would allow for the possibility that the hot girl had similar plans. In which case I don't see why we couldn't pursue the same (in)activity together. Just a few rules: one, comfortable bed; two - well, no, I guess that's it. Tonight I am going to sleep, wherever.

-Tom
recommended download:
The Beatles, I'm Only Sleeping

I bought a digital camera (again...sort of)

ok. So maybe you read about the...difficulty... I had when purchasing a camera online. Maybe you figured, yeah, it probably is a better idea to go to a real live store, where they have the real live camera in stock, even if it means paying full price, since you'll walk in, pay the money, and have the camera in like four to six minutes, not like four to six weeks.

And, I'd have agreed with you.

So last night I go to [NAME OMITTED!]. I had called them from work. I said "do you have this camera in stock, in your store, right now?" and they said "yes, we'll hold it for you." When I arrived I stopped at customer service, they directed me to the digital camera section, they remembered me and had my camera, "here you go," they said, "let me ring you up right here," they said. So they did. Camera, a bajillion dollars. Warranty plan, sixty dollars. Movie, (since I was there anyway, why not grab a dvd), twenty dollars. Total, a bajillion and twenty dollars.

No problem, that is under my debit card's $500.oo limit. Swipe the card. Print the receipt. AND CRASH THE DAMN COMPUTER.
"I'm sorry, the transaction didn't go through. We'll have to run it again."
"ok, no problem, as long as I get my camera."

nope!

Because they swiped the card the card company now has a hold on that money. They can't swipe the card again for the same amount because that would put me over my five-hundred dollar limit, I can't pay with cash I don't carry that kind of money, I can't pay with a credit card I don't have, AND THEY WON'T GIVE ME MY CAMERA

"So let me get this straight guys; You charged my debit account for the camera, and the bank has now set that money aside. But, your computer system crashed, and is unable to verify that this transaction ever took place, so you won't be contacting the bank for that money. And, since you didn't get the money, even though it was your system that screwed it up, you're not going to give me the camera."
"that is correct."

What the hell man. Bank's closed, can't clear the hold, which is probably a 48 hour hold, so if you'd like to come back in two days you can get your camera then. Thanks but no thanks. I've now been in the store for an hour, digital camera section, customer service section, manager's office. Nothing.

Finally, finally, someone says "you could get a store credit card and purchase the camera with that, then pay the balance after the hold on your account clears." gee, now that's an idea. granted I don't want a credit card, and certainly don't want your credit card, but, I do want my camera. so fine.

I sign up for a card, which should take three mintues. it takes another half hour. fine. get the card. ring up the camera (and movie) pay for the camera and movie. leave the store.

But whatever, you know what? fine. whatever. I have the camera. and DON'T say "looks like the big guy upstairs doesn't want you to have this camera" or anything similar to that.

IT IS NOT THE CAMERA'S FAULT.

It is stupid www.[@#&$%^].com's fault and stupid [NAME OMITTED]'s fault. I mean seriously, it you're a store that sells digital equipment and computers shouldn't you have a computer system that, you know, works? Yes. You should. Idiots.

ok, done. I now refer you to my earlier post: I bought a digital camera!

-Tom

zzzzzz..

I think I'm carrying about three hours of sleep-debt. I woke up this morning and couldn't open my eyes. My eyelids were just too heavy. You've had that experience, where you're thinking in your head "the alarm is going off. open your eyes. lift your head. move arms and legs." and all of your etremities are too heavy to move. I don't understand where it came from, I've been getting approximately the same amount of sleep I usually get. I do know, however, that tonight I am going to go to sleep, and wake up exactly eleven hours later. That will help a lot.

-Tom

recommended downloads:
Veggie Tales, His Cheeseburger
The Who, Anyway, Anyhow
Pearl Jam, Evenflow

Thursday, February 24, 2005

there will be a reckoning

...were that I had it in my power.

So let me get you up to speed.
The other day I was shopping for a digital camera. I analyzed and compared numerous cameras before determining which camera I would like to purchase. I chose the Fuji FinePix s5100. Great reviews, pleasing to the eye, priced well. I then began searching the internet for the best deal. Some sites offered the camera near retail price ($399.99) others offered discounts, or package deals with chargers and batteries and memory cards. The best price I found was $241.00, no packages, just savings. So I ordered the camera from this website [name withheld, reason to follow]. And, since I was saving some money, I opted for 3-day shippping, instead of regular ground, which upped the total to approximately $275.00 (US).

**At this time I would like to acknowledge all readers who have low-paying jobs, no jobs, or bills/rent/expenses. I do not mean to imply that a matter of $275.00 is insignificant, or trifling. It is a lot of money, money I would not normally be able to spend, save for living at home with little to no other expenditures. However, it is the appropriate amount of money to spend on this particular digital camera.**

Now, I wait. Camera purchased, I wait, anxiously. For those of you out there like me, I do not recommend online purchases, the waiting is troubling. I expected to see the camera waiting for me that night, or the next morning, like christmas presents magically found under the tree. Of course, shipping from Illinois, this did not happen. Instead I occupied myself with reading the online reviews of the camera I just selected, and then purchasing a battery charger and a memory card for the new camera.

Then, today, at approximately 3:00 PM (EDT) [aside, is that the abbreviation for Eastern Daylight Time? Also, are we still on daylight savings in this time zone?] I received a call from home, they were just contacted by Sean, who works for [name omitted] to confirm shipping address, and would I please call them back at this number and that extension. Well, yes, of course I would, since it's the second day of what should be a 3-day shipping cycle, so I would like to make sure it's going where I told them to send it.

So I call Sean, at extension 241. And he's happy to confirm the shipping address. And he's happy, and maybe speaking a little too quickly to be a normal customer service representative, and maybe a little too...off...

And that's when I realize it's a scam! "AHA!" I cry, "You're found out!" And proceed to the reckoning.

No, just kidding. There was no reckoning. Here's how the conversation played out
He asks to confirm the address, and then offers me the bonus package: memory card, batteries, charger, shoulder strap, warranty, upping the price from $241.00 to $320.00. I decline. "No," I say, "I don't want the warranty, I don't need the batteries, I don't need the memory card." Sean informs me that the camera doesn't come with any of these accessories. I maintain my position, having already secured the necessary items at a lower cost elsewhere, currently being shipped (as promised) to my home. Not so with the camera. The camera hasn't left the warehouse. The camera doesn't leave the warehouse until Sean calls the purchaser to offer them the complete package. Now, me, being knowledgeable in the digital-camera-and-accessory-purchasing field, know that I don't need the bells and whistles. I just want the bare bones camera.

This is the part of the story where Sean and his evil website choose to punish me, the wily consumer, for my knowledge.

"That camera ships directly from the factory," he says. Ok, I respond, I don't care where it comes from, as long as it's going where it's supposed to, and getting there when you told me it would.
"Ah," he says, "that camera ships from the factory in 4-6 weeks." Excuse me? I respond, I've paid for 3-day shipping, an extra $40.00 charge.
"No no," he says oily, "three day shipping only applies to the US-bundle, with batteries, memory card, and warranty. If you'd like that package for only $320.00 it will ship in three days." I don't want that package, I say.
"So four to six weeks for your camera then?" he maintains. No, I respond, Cancel the order.
"Cancel your order?" he hollowly exclaims. Yes, I say. Cancel the order.
"Ok" he intones as he disconnects the phone.
"Thank you." I respond to the dead line.

That's right folks. We'll give you your precious three day shipping if you pay an exorbitant amount of money for items you can find much cheaper almost anywhere else! It's sort of like blackmail, except if you're smart like me, you recognize it for what it is and cancel the order then tell your friends to NEVER EVER EVER ORDER ANYTHING FROM WWW.[name omitted].com -damn extortionists.

Because the suck.

So now I'm going to Best Buy to pay retail price of something like $314.00 so that I will have the camera and can take it home with me on the same day. and they'll give me the stupid warranty and crap.

Death to www.[*&%@^#].com

-Tom

go ahead, you can laugh all you want...

ok, so, I ordered a digital camera. like three days ago. it didn't even occur to me that the camera wouldn't be like, waiting at home for me after work. which I expected, and was looking forward to. ok ok I'm lying. I did, on an intellectual level, understand that I paid for 3-day shipping, and when a piece of expensive digital equipment is coming from Iowa or wherevere that it will take a while, since they haven't developed insta-matter transporters (yet). but come on man, where's my camera!? I want to like, play around with it, read the user manual, mess with all the controls! take pictures of my brothers, and the dogs, and my friends, and say things like, "oh, let me get my camera" haha. but no... still have to wait. maybe in my downtime at work I can think about inventing an insta-matter transporter. btw, I totally dibs that name. copyright, stamp it, double stamp it. (you can't triple stamp a double stamp).

Since, after all, my ideal career would be as an evil mad scientist. There's this very clever spreadsheet at work (ok, it's only regularly clever, but compared to the rest of the stuff here at work, regularly clever is exemplary), this spreadsheet returns your ideal job when you input your name. so, I typed in my name, and it returned "Evil Mad Scientist" which is funny, because first, it's totally correct, and second, it's not the first time I've thought about taking over the world while I'm at work (amazo posted something about my babe-magnet plan). Now, playing aroud with the spreadsheet, inputting first name only, last name only, nicknamese and so forth, I learned that, depending on how I refer to myself, my ideal career could also be Top Gun Pilot, Computer Nerd, or Lumberjack. I have to say, this spreadsheet is pretty good. pretty darn good - It described Donny's ideal career "In A Far Away Land" real good. As an evil mad scientist (with a minimal understanding of mutual funds) and friends in the texas legistlature, I'll be unstoppable.

So get on board now, if you have any requests, like countries you'd like to rule over, or impossible machines you'd like to see built, or you know, words of encouragement, get 'em in early; maybe I'll name a doomsday device after you or something.

-Tom


recommended download:
REM - it's the end of the world as we know it (and i feel fine)
Flogging Molly - The Likes of You Again

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

now, it's personal

Well, I'm glad I didn't write about how I asked the pretty girl to a hockey game, and she accepted, and I was all excited to take her and explain the game of hockey. BECAUSE NOW ITS NOT HAPPENING.

What the hell?
"so, hockey game tonight."
"oh, no sorry, I have to work my second job...thanks for inviting me though."
WHAT THE HELL??

is this just a terribly scheduling conflict? or is it more what it sounds like, an outright LIE to get out of going to the game with me? I am so pissed. Incredible. I got worked up for this crap? No way. No eff-ing way.

Because now, it's personal.
She's not getting a moment's peace. I'm gonna be all over her. I am going to be so charming, so smooth, so confident, so cool, that she won't even recognize me. Game on. I am in the zone. Nothing like a social affront to pick you up out of the well of personal psychosis and anxiety. It's been kicked up a notch. Screw the funds. Screw archiving. Screw office politics and managerial dissaproval. No inter-office dating? Screw it. I'm all over this situation now. Drinks after work? Plans for the weekend? How about dinner tomorrow night? I bought more hockey tickets, and I'd still like to take you. EVEN AFTER YOU TOTALLY LIED TO AVOID ME LAST TIME.

I'm going mad. Mad I tell you.
Bwahahaha-ahahahah-ahahaha!

love,
Tom

recommended downloads:
Cake, Haze of Love
Cake, She Ain't No Good For You
Cake, Open Book
Cake, Italian Leather Sofa
Judas Priest, You Got Another Thing Comin'

oh-ho-ho, it's on now.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

I bought a digital camera!

woohoo, I'm all excited.
this is the camera I've purchased, scheduled to arrive on friday. 4.0 megapixels, 10x optical zoom, and a host of manual controls. I'm all excited.

I'll be taking the camera with me to Rome. Which is what prompted the purchase. I was all, "we'll take timmy's camera when we go" and my mom was like "timmy's going to be in washington, he'll be using his camera" and I was like, "oh, we'll take carolyn's then, did she get it fixed?" and my mom was like "she's on spring break, she'll probably be taking it with her to florida" and I was like "oh, damn" and my mom was like "don't you have a camera?" and I was like "yeah, a real camera, 35mm." and my mom was like "oh, ok, you don't have a digital camera?" and I was like "nope. [gleeful smile] I guess I'll have to buy one"

and so now I have.

Tom

recommended downloads
Weezer, Photograph
Paul Simon, Kodachrome
John Mayer, 3x5
Feeder, High (I was about to recommend "take my picture" but I hate that song and don't recommend it, high is a good feeder song, so is Insomnia)

...and tired

I know I'm different when I'm tired. But I hope to avoid being labeled. "oh, he's mean, he must be tired." I hope to avoid the obvious conclusion that based on the way I act, I missed a good night's sleep. I hope that I have the control to pull that off; that I can recognize that I'm not at my best, and make up the difference through force of will. And man, am I tired today.

Three-day weekend, and it's school vacation week. I woke up today and I didn't even know what year it was. I wasn't sure if I had to get up and go to work, get up and shovel out the elderly neighbors, or remind myself to stop setting the alarm, because it's february vacation. There are two things keeping me from quitting right now: I want to buy a car, and to do that I need more money; and I'm going to Rome in like, two weeks. Though, if Rome isn't a relaxing, reinvigorating, rejuventating vacation, then I'm definitely quitting sooner.

I'm more negative when I'm tired. My thoughts take a pessimistic slant, and I'm more apt to be angry and short tempered with others. I'm sullen. Usually, after a few waking hours I recover pretty well; I stop staring silently at the walls, I start moving again, I start speaking. Tonight, I'm going to bed at ten.

-t

recommended downloads:
Oasis, Hello
Lucky Boys Confusion, Atari

Friday, February 18, 2005

HA!

Why I love corporate america (today)

I found a guy who knows what he's doing. It is a breath of fresh air. He's part of the audit team, sort of in our group, but not really. He is a link in the archive chain, in charge of getting boxes and labels for our group. So I went over today to ask for some boxes and labels, and to determine if we already have a supply here in the office to use. And then, he said he believed we've switched over to a new archiving system, no more boxes or labels through him. and that's when the girl across from him leaned over and said, "actually, we're still using labels, we switched through a different format." and he said "oh, ok, I was wrong." I was wrong. That is incredible. Just incredible. I was so excited to hear that I almost started a carthwheel (but I didn't). He said "let me call the supply manager about the labels, we can have them for you tuesday, and I know where you sit, so I'll check on the boxes and let you know." Al-right.

This brings two points into relief:
1. first, how much does it suck in corporate america that one "I was wrong" evinces such a strong positive reaction? (is envinces a word? what the hell word is supposed to go there?). corporate america sucks a lot. which brings me to point two, why I love it
2. even though it sucks, there are still people who don't suck working there. the second point is that I should be trying to open up a little, try to discover who these people are - it really brightens up a day when you know the person or people you'll be working with are competent, willing, and not corporate stooges. you know what I'm talking about.

-Tom
recommended download
Queen: The Show Must Go On

Thursday, February 17, 2005

blogging.

Bloggers made the news again last night, getting a mention from the Daily Show. Kudos atrios.blogspot.com

In other news, I'm going to Rome, and am pumped. I may have mentioned this earlier, and if so tough. I'm still excited. When in Rome I'm going to do everything the Romans do, and also touristy type stuff. Maybe I'll learn some italian, maybe I'll wow them with my juggling skills. Maybe I won't. We'll see. When I'm in Rome.

Also, Flogging Molly is coming to Boston, and I'm pumped. I got tickets to the show, and it's the week before Rome. So I'm all excited about the first two weeks of March. I haven't been to a live show in a while, and I think this is an excellent way to get back into things.

Finally, they are doing construction on the other side of the wall in our office. I think there's another office over there, but I'm not sure. The construction related noises seem to be bugging my coworkers, "gee, I didn't know we were working next to This Old House" and other such derisive comments. I don't mind though. I love construction. I just wish we had like, a window or soemthing so we could watch. It's better than television (even the television about construction, cuz those shows especially suck...As Jason Bateman said of his show Arrested Development "we're up against extreme makeover-home edition, who'd watch comedy when you can see a shirtless carpenter say 'hey, let's build a skate ramp for a kid with no bones!'"

Anyway, this post was mostly an excuse to recommend some downloads:
Red Hot Chili Peppers, On Mercury
Marcy Playground, The Devil's Song
and
Weezer, Say It Ain't So

-Tom

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

mind-numbing bore

I'm pretty bored today. Well, right now. Earlier I wasn't bored. But now I am. Bored.

So, I'm going to Rome. Rome, Italy, where the Pope lives. Vatican city. I don't know what to pack for the trip. Is it warm in Italy? Should I bring a camera and eighteen rolls of film? Should I swipe my brothers digital camera instead? What are they wearing in Rome these days (I mean, regular people, not the Pope, his style never changes) Should I bring loose baggy clothing? Bright colors? I don't want the Romans laughing at my lack of style. Maybe best if I just stick with the traditional toga. That will be a good way to travel on the plane, very comfortable. Also, good defense against pickpockets, as togas have no pockets.

Ah, to be young and in love.

Tom
recommended download
Marcy Playground, Hotter Than The Sun

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

make it official

ok, so it's official. I officially have a crush on this girl at work. It's not like ajoking around, oh I think she's cute, or oh, that's the cute girl at work. It's a legitimate crush. And I know this because she's not in today. And I don't want to be here.

Really, it has become apparent to me, that over the last few weeks, the only reason I don't moan and complain about work all day every day with no time for anything else is because she's here, and maybe I'll have the chance to like, get to see her today.

So today when I found out she wasn't here. Well, that was a huge let-down. How did I let things get like this?

-Tom
recommended download:
Marcy Playground, Hotter Than The Sun

not Valentine's night, Beanpot night!

Way to go BU. here are some quick thoughts on the game. BU jumped out to a quick 2-0 and made me, and everyone else, think they were going to walk away with this one. Then in the second period Northeastern got a goal (which, I think should have been stopped, but somebody help me out here: Curry got beat glove side, was that the shoulder that he separated? because it looked like he should have stopped that goal.) Anyway, Northeastern came out really hungry in the third period and got a bounce to tie the game up. I don't think it ever would have happened, except with about six minutes left BU started playing conservative hockey. "let's not try and score, let's just keep them from scoring" that is no way to win a tournament, as evidenced by the NU goal with 2 minutes left. That leaves the game tied at 2-2 and sends it into overtime. And it was a well played overtime. Northeastern came out with their goal-scoring line led by captain Gurrierra, BU did the same, goalscoring line. The Terriers dominated play for four minutes I think without a line change, and led shots on net 6-3. Then BU decided to rest its starters and put out a different line who basically iced the puck whenever they touched it, for about four minutes. Then, with the starters rested BU put them back on the ice and pushed play back into the Huskies zone. Then a quick shot from left wing off the goalie's pad, rebound shot by the center off the post kicked out to the right cirlce where Bourque rifled one into an undefended net. Game over. Way to go terriers.

Ok, so last night, out of a possible two long shots, one short shots, and one sure shot, only one came through. I had (almost) asked that girl out again. I think she gave me an opening. I swear, I'm getting better at spotting them, this time I realized it was an opening only like three minutes after the conversation. Anyway, I think she gave me an opening, and I missed it, but it's ok, cuz next time I'll be on the look out for one. That was a long shot, didn't come through. Then Kate got tickets to the beanpot. and man what a game. otherwise we were all going to meet at whitehorse to watch the game. instead they went to the fleetcenter. that was a short shot, but I would never, ever, ever begrudge anyone a chance at live hockey. and man what a game. and the other long shot was that the cute waitress would be working at whitehorse, the one that hit on donny a couple weeks ago. no dice, though. instead I got the hovering waitress of doom. she didn't give me more than thirty seconds between "are you all set honey?" "do you want another drink sweetie?" "have you made up your mind honey?" she was talking like Dot the fifty year old waitress at the 24 diner with all the honeys sweeties and, she may have called me "doll" once too. not a moment's peace.

And then the game ended and I had to take the T home. the green line, second stop, two homeless guys got on, clearly they knew each other, and sat next to me. Then, for three stops the bigger one, with the beard, who was on my right just mumbled a lot and tried to hug the smaller one, on his right. The smaller one proceeded to whack the bearded one in the face with his folded up newspaper. All the while both of them swaying drunkenly with the motion of the train. They got off at Arlington.

Then waiting for the Orange Line at Downtown Crossing a sketchy looking vendor with a giant plastic bag full of valentine balloons was trying to hustle passengers while two crazy guys yelled at each other at the end of the platform. Then one of the crazy guys bought a balloon and gave it to a girl sitting on one of the benches. then he left.

the weirdos really come out at night on the orange line.

Happy Beanpot BU.

-Tom

Monday, February 14, 2005

Valen-tine.

Today has been very pleasant. I am mildy surprised. The best thing is that here, we use dates a lot. I input today's date (2/14/05) like a hundred times a day. And, well, today, each time I type it in 050214 (yearmonthday format) I get a little pick-up. "oh, hey, today's valentine's day" Really, like every time. It's been nice.

Also a good way to feel good on valentine's day, is to send somebody a valentine, or some chocolates, or tell them you like them a lot. Or that it was them in the dream you had about drinking and tearing off each other's clothes. That'll make them smile. And that'll make you smile. It's a good idea.

Also a good idea is to take tonight off (if you're single) and just hang out, and then hit on other people who are single and hanging out (and cute, duh). That's what I'll be doing tonight I think. Just a "hey, how you doin?" could really give someone's night a little lift. And well maybe it'll get you their phone number too, peolpe are more friendly on valentine's day.

unless they're that bitter "I hate all men" type. stay away from them, really the best thing for you to do if you find yourself in a situation with that type, is to leave and find another bar with cuter patrons. or cuter waitresses. oh yeah, that's another thing. if there's a cute waitress out working on valentine's night that means she's just recently broken up with her boyfriend (because honestly, we all know cute girls who'd like to go out on valentine's don't have much trouble finding someone to ask them) anyway, recently broken up, but not devastated (or she wouldn't be working) so you can try and get their number too. That does not go for hot bartenders however. Ladies, be careful of overly-friendly servers. They're hoping to prey on young vulnerable or bitter females. if this happens to you, mace 'em.

ok, that's it for Tom's romantic valentine advice
I recommend you download a song about a guy who kills his ex's new boyfriend and then calls and tells her about it. (no really, that's what this song is about...I had no idea until started paying attention to the lyrics)

Good Charlotte: My Bloody Valentine
:)

happy valentine's day.

a random collection of junk

A.) so I've been called twice by this recruiting firm. "we specialize in the placement of financial professionals like yourself" that kind. anyway, this guy calls me at 4:15 last friday. on my cell. "Hi Thomas, blah blah blah, resume, blah blah blah." and I'm like "um, yeah, what?" and he's all "is this a bad time?" and I'm like "yeah" and he's like "because you're at work?" and I'm like "yeah." you moron, you're looking at my resume. you know I'm a "financial professional" (which is debatable) of course I'm at work. idiot. 4:15 on a friday? did you think I'd be at lunch?

So then he calls this morning, at 9:30. what the hell buddy? first of all, I'm certainly not a "professional" anything, so why the hot pursuit? second of all, if I was at work during normal business hours on friday and it wasn't a good time, what the hell makes you think 9:30 monday morning is a good time!? I hung up on him.

2.) here are some things I want in a relationship.
I want to be the reason she smiles
I want to make her happy
I want to teach her something important
I want to learn something important

d.) speaking of girlfriends, and valentine's, I had a dream last night and you were in it. we were playing a drinking game, it was something like "Six shots to sex" or maybe seven. Basically you do a shot of tequila and for every shot you take off an article of the other person's clothing. you and I had a lot of fun. (haha, just kidding, you don't know who "you" is do you? you'll just have to wonder)

ok, that's all for now, if I've got some time I might post something about valentine's day later..

later,
Tom

recommended download:
Sugarcult Champagne
Dropkick Murphy's Walk Away

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Sausalito

I am sitting in my living room on my couch eating pepperidge farm cookies and drinking milk from a glass with pictures of cows on it. I am watching Saturday Night Live. Tonight is a good night.

Tonight would be better if I had a date. Or a car. If I had a car I could drive to my date's house and pick her up. Then drive to a nice resturant, have a nice dinner. Maybe take a drive to get ice cream, or coffee for dessert. That would be a better night.

Tonight would be the best ever if maybe I had a car and a date with the girl that turns out to be the love of my life, and we jumped in the car and drove and drove and drove, then head back to her apartment and throw on a movie, sit on the couch, have some jack daniels... That'd be a real good night.

-Tom

recommended downloads:
Cake Love You Madly
Green Day When I Come Around

Friday, February 11, 2005

Things are alright

Updates:
Cute girl is in Hawaii.
There are no problems on my new funds.
Most of my budgets are finished.
Things are going well with the girl, except that it is impossible for me to speak to her.


So today, I feel pretty good. Today is the first Friday of Lent, and it's the second day of Lent we Catholics aren't supposed to eat meat. It's the second time during the current Lenten season I've forgotten that and had meat for lunch. I haven't given up anything to this point for Lent, I was thinking about giving up coffee, or maybe caffeine. I am about to run to dunkin donuts, or maybe have some tea here at my desk. My hair looks great today (I think, I haven't looked in a mirror since I got out of the shower this morning). It's getting colder, and icy, outside. But most importantly, it's the weekend! I am so pumped for football. Oh, wait. No football, season's over. And no, the Pro Bowl doesn't count, that's an exhibition, and, since the career ending injury sustained by a promising rookie in the then mandatory flag football game, I've sort of loathed the Pro Bowl. I mean come on, they guys aren't even trying. Asking grown men who risk devastating injury on a weekly basis throughout the fall and winter to play their hardest weeks after their seasons have ended? in hawaii? no way are they going to give their all. and I would hope they don't. This is their livelyhood, after all, I wouldn't put my body on the line for a game that doesn't mean anything if it meant I might end my career, or delay my offseason training to recuperate. I'll stop there. You didn't come here to read a sports opinion column. If you wanted to do that you'd've stopped by espn.com and read Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy. He's pretty good.

So, have a good weekend you young unprofessionals, I hope I do.

this is Tom, signing off.

recommended downloads:
Counting Crows, Wiseblood
Flogging Molly, Swagger
Oasis, Supersonic
The Clash, I Fought The Law

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Rates aren't in

Ok, so I never do any work at work. Except the first week of each month when budgets are due. The only other thing that I would be working on is archiving the stupid funds. But, I can't do that until my ID for the online archiving system comes through, and it hasn't, so I'm off the hook for that.

We have a group next to us, they're some sort of Cash group, they reconcile bad trades, it's what they do. Cute girl's group. Jonathan(the opie&anthony fan)'s group. Here's the thing. I think their manager likes the same girl I like. The really pretty one. The one by the printers. This is causing me to feel more anxious than I normally do. And normally, around her, I feel anxious.

It's not her fault. It's not like I'd go up to her and say "You make me nervous when I'm around you." Because that's not true. She doesn't make me nervous. I'm nervous on my own. To be accurate I would have to say "I'm nervous around you." That way I avoid mentioning the cause of my nervousness, which is, I believe, a feeling of inferiority. I'm not as attractive as she is, as well dressed as she is, as knowledgeble, as smart, as cool, etc etc etc etc.

None of this helps me. I find it difficult to be myself here at work. I find it especially difficult to be myself around her at work. I believe that is maybe the greatest hinderance to actually making it to dinner with her. Were I myself I'm sure I'd be charming and clever, she would warm up to the idea of a dinner engagement, and we'd be set. Not myself I'm sulky, quiet, reserved, shy, passive, and all other bad ways to be if you want the girl to like you. Plus this stupid manager over at her cube chatting all the time and reeking of Old Spice. Stupid other manager.

My only hope is that we (the girl and I, not the manager an I) get trapped in an elevator together for hours, then I can just relax and be myself. And after that if she doesn't want to go out, that's fine. But then it'll be because she didn't like me, not because she didin't like the me I was around her at work. Trapped in an elevator....

We work on the first floor.

-Tom
recommended downloads:
AC/DC, Thunderstruck, TNT
Oasis, She's Electric, Helter Skelter, and Force of Nature
Bowling for Soup, On and On (About You)

Lock your door cuz rain is pouring through your window pane

Last night I had a really great deam. It was like an action/thriller movie dream. Some experimental war plane was in danger of being hijacked, the daughter of a world leader was in danger of being killed, only she was living in the US under an assumed name. The movie opens in the military hangar where the experimental war plane is being kept, and there's this kid there, some engineering whiz kid talking about some problems with a design he's had with the colonel in charge. He mentions he discussed the problem with this girl, the daughter of the world leader, he figured out who she was. This causes a huge problem for the colonel, as the plane and the girl are linked, and if this kid could figure out who she was, then their enemies might also. The rest of the movie is the bad guys chasing the kid and the girl all over the place trying to kill them. I kind of zoned out during that part of the dream. I think in the end the plane gets destroyed.

-Tom
recommended downloads
Queen, Hammer To Fall (the live version is a good one)
The Offspring, Gotta Get Away
and
Pearl Jam, Of The Girl

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Shirking

Here's a question for you readers: do you every so often look at the headline of my post and think "that sounds familiar, was it in a movie?" or something along those lines? I'm curious. Because every so often I do use a movie line, or reference to pop culture as a headline, and wondered if people were getting that. Not that it's intentional, or intended to relate to the theme of the post, just that it's what I'm thinking when I start writing. Yesterday's post, for example, from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

And now having said that I've forgotten what I was going to write. Ok. I'm off then. Start getting psyched up for Valentine's day.

-Tom
recommended downloads:
Mighty Mighty Bosstones: The Impression That I Get
NOFX: Gin and Juice (Snoop Dogg cover)

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Strike that, reverse it

It's fat tuesday. Cute girl is in Hawaii. The Patriots are in Boston. I am at my desk.

So, that's where everyone is today. I hope you've all remembered to gorge yourselves on sugar and dessert stuffs, and carbonated beverages, and chocolates and anything else you may have decided to give up for Lent. My suggestion is to eat absolutely as much as possible, an orgy of gluttonous consumption. Then, you'll be so sick of the sight of food you'll coast through the first half of these forty days without even thinking about it. An orgy of gluttonous consumption.

Later today I think I will try and buy a coffee. Also I think I'll bring in some tea so I can drink tea here at my desk in the mornings. I like tea almost better than coffee. Maybe I like them an equal amount in different ways. That's possible - liking two things the same amount, but differently. Tea, and coffee. Tony Hawk Pro Skater, and blue hooded sweatshirts, for example, I think my life would be changed if either were taken away from me, but for different reasons. They mean about the same, but in different ways. Let's not think about that.

So the Patriots are world champs. Go Pats. That's a world series, a superbowl, also I'll mention (though I hate them) the celtics are in first place in their division (the weak division), and technically, as was pointed out earlier, the bruins are undefeated. The players association needs to smarten up. It's hockey for crying out loud, stop whining like the nba. You play on ice and get concussions regularly, plus missing teeth and rabid fans - you sound more like major league baseball. suck it up and play. Hell, I'd be ok with a salary cap if that meant I could play hockey for a living. Stupid nhl.

In other news: I haven't been back to white horse, I did not get tickets to the beanpot (go bu!), and I have not filed taxes. Speaking of income tax, I should get back to work.

-Tom

recommended downloads:
Queen, It's A Beautiful Day
Cake, You Turn The Screws
and
Pearl Jam, Patriot (Steve Van Zandt cover)

Monday, February 07, 2005

I have a dream

Everyone should -and I have one.

I want to own and operate a successful community theater. That's my dream. One of those tiny theaters made from a converted victorian house, with seating for only about a hundred, with a big lawn outside that's used as a parking lot on show nights. Where during intermission the audience is encouraged to go downstairs to the snackbar. There isn't any room so they go in single file down narrow stairs into the basement and file past a counter or a table with small cups of homemade trailmix and drinks poured from giant three liter soda bottles. They shuffle past a small jar labeled "donations appreciated" on a stand with playbills and schedules for upcoming shows. A little place. Where we can produce plays that mean something. Where actors, and directors, and crew can come and create, bring the written word to life. I want to find theater people, who love what they do, and who are good at it, whose only concern is putting on a good show. Sound guys who do things the old fashioned way, with props and not synthesizers. Lighting guys who can create scenery and set changes using just spots, filters, and highlights. But most of all, most of all actors and writers. People who know the theater and who have plays they love as much as breathing. Those are the people I want to put on stage. In plays that mean something. Because theater is an art in danger of dying out. It's not something you do on a friday night to kill some time. You don't just decide to go out to a play. I want to put on plays with meaning. So when you do stop by, you leave with something, you feel something. I want to be a part of that. I'd like to be a major part of that. That's my dream.

Tom
recommended download:
Cake, Opera Singer

May I never blog again

I have so much work to do.

I can't even believe it. So much work.
We switched funds. I thought I was getting easy ones. Nope, the Ireland fund is crazy. And totally not balanced. And hasn't been balanced for like three years. That's trouble.
We have to do budgets. Budgets eat up a lot of time. A lot of time. I hate budgets.
I'm also in charge of this stupid archiving crap. That's just stupid. But I'm in charge. I hate corporate america.

Is it because I'm a good worker? The managers recognize my diligence and get-it-done-ed-ness? maybe. Or maybe I just lucked out with the exact perfect amount of work that fills up my day and eats into (get it?) my lunch hour.

I have had time today to do these unrelatedtowork things:
read the Sports Guy column on espn.com
write this blog entry.
eat a powerbar for lunch.
that's all.

This is my first post in what feels like a week. I hope I don't have any fans out there clamouring for more posts. I'm swamped.

Oh, also, I haven't had time to make any more paper clip sculptures. My art is suffering. And I still need to find some crazy glue.


Ok, back to the Ireland fund. And the work that I'm not doing. And those budgets.
this is Tom
signing off...
for good?

Sayanora.

recommended downloads:
bowling for soup, emily

Thursday, February 03, 2005

reread

My posts lately suck. I don't think I've written a decent post in like a week. I was just rereading a few of the more recent entries and they suck. It's stress. Stress is killing me. Me, The-Guy-Who-Doesn't-Understand-The-Meaning-Of-The-Word-Stress. Everyone else's stress is killing me. Working next to Chuck who complains all the time. And with hyper-manager who berrates all the time. and budgets at the begining of the month which would be easy except the clients don't ever send updated expense information. and the recent promotion of a lowly fa to senior fa threw the group out of whack. Everyone else's stress is killing me. You know that daffy duck cartoon where he's fighting with the animator, and the screen starts falling on him, the black borders droop and he's holding them up and flipping out? man I love that cartoon.

-Tom
staying with the poppy-punk bandwagon
greend day: american idiot

Chicken

Busy. That's the best way to describe the last few days.
Really busy. That's the best way to describe the next few days.

This might be my only post for a while (I hope none of you go into withdrawal)
We've got budgets to do, we've got trades to fix, one of our group was just promoted, so the rest of us have way more work.

Two weeks from now they're switching funds. I'll have less to do, significantly less I think. Except I am getting one trouble fund, so that one might eat up some of my time. On the other hand, it might be cool because it's based in Ireland and I'll have to email Irish guys all day. Well, ok, that's not very cool at all. Anyway. We're really busy. Stupid funds.

-Tom

and, despite being labeled a bandwagon jumper
recommended downloads:
green day: boulevard of broken dreams

lucky boys confusion: hey driver
judas priset: the green manalishi
third eye blind: something from the first album, like burning man, london, jumper, or graduate

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Why I hate my job (today)

Can We Please--
For The Love Of...
Can we please-
aaarrrrgghhh!!

I was hired to do a specific task. I'm supposed to balance mutual funds. It's not a hard thing to do. I'm entry level, low man on the totem pole, I understand this. I have zero responsibility. I copy and paste numbers from one program to another all day. Then I subtract. No, that's a lie, Excel subtracts, I dont' even do second grade math.

I just spent the morning in an archiving seminar. An hour to learn how to label boxes so they don't get lost. I swear to you I understand the need for archived backup files. What I do not understand is an hour long seminar that could have been replaced by a fifteen minute power-point slide show. You log on to the website. You input the important info, like: contents of the box, box number, and contact name. You download the file, mail merge in Word, and print. Input. Download. Print. Did I say fifteen minutes? That might be too long.

ARGH. Archiving? archiving. really. What the hell. Hire a damn secretary. Let him know up front: Your job is to do the brain-numbing work no one else wants. It'll be a hugely high turnover, whatever, at least he'll know up front. The only reason I had to go to the stupid seminar is because I was working late when my boss got the email. Working late. On these stupid funds that I hate. Making sure there wouldn't be any problems the next morning. Double checking. So what do we do? Let's reward the diligent young employee with greater responsibility and place him on the road to management. -or, or!- We could sign him up for a mindless administrative task! That's great! Now he can respond to questions from the other members of the group "Hey, does my name go in the first box or the second box?" with clever answers like "Your name goes in the box labeled NAME!" ARGH!!.

If I didn't want to buy a car I'd quit right now.

-Tom

recommended downloads:
Sugarcult, Counting Stars
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Let Me Be