go ahead, you can laugh all you want...

ok, so, I ordered a digital camera. like three days ago. it didn't even occur to me that the camera wouldn't be like, waiting at home for me after work. which I expected, and was looking forward to. ok ok I'm lying. I did, on an intellectual level, understand that I paid for 3-day shipping, and when a piece of expensive digital equipment is coming from Iowa or wherevere that it will take a while, since they haven't developed insta-matter transporters (yet). but come on man, where's my camera!? I want to like, play around with it, read the user manual, mess with all the controls! take pictures of my brothers, and the dogs, and my friends, and say things like, "oh, let me get my camera" haha. but no... still have to wait. maybe in my downtime at work I can think about inventing an insta-matter transporter. btw, I totally dibs that name. copyright, stamp it, double stamp it. (you can't triple stamp a double stamp).

Since, after all, my ideal career would be as an evil mad scientist. There's this very clever spreadsheet at work (ok, it's only regularly clever, but compared to the rest of the stuff here at work, regularly clever is exemplary), this spreadsheet returns your ideal job when you input your name. so, I typed in my name, and it returned "Evil Mad Scientist" which is funny, because first, it's totally correct, and second, it's not the first time I've thought about taking over the world while I'm at work (amazo posted something about my babe-magnet plan). Now, playing aroud with the spreadsheet, inputting first name only, last name only, nicknamese and so forth, I learned that, depending on how I refer to myself, my ideal career could also be Top Gun Pilot, Computer Nerd, or Lumberjack. I have to say, this spreadsheet is pretty good. pretty darn good - It described Donny's ideal career "In A Far Away Land" real good. As an evil mad scientist (with a minimal understanding of mutual funds) and friends in the texas legistlature, I'll be unstoppable.

So get on board now, if you have any requests, like countries you'd like to rule over, or impossible machines you'd like to see built, or you know, words of encouragement, get 'em in early; maybe I'll name a doomsday device after you or something.

-Tom


recommended download:
REM - it's the end of the world as we know it (and i feel fine)
Flogging Molly - The Likes of You Again