there will be a reckoning

...were that I had it in my power.

So let me get you up to speed.
The other day I was shopping for a digital camera. I analyzed and compared numerous cameras before determining which camera I would like to purchase. I chose the Fuji FinePix s5100. Great reviews, pleasing to the eye, priced well. I then began searching the internet for the best deal. Some sites offered the camera near retail price ($399.99) others offered discounts, or package deals with chargers and batteries and memory cards. The best price I found was $241.00, no packages, just savings. So I ordered the camera from this website [name withheld, reason to follow]. And, since I was saving some money, I opted for 3-day shippping, instead of regular ground, which upped the total to approximately $275.00 (US).

**At this time I would like to acknowledge all readers who have low-paying jobs, no jobs, or bills/rent/expenses. I do not mean to imply that a matter of $275.00 is insignificant, or trifling. It is a lot of money, money I would not normally be able to spend, save for living at home with little to no other expenditures. However, it is the appropriate amount of money to spend on this particular digital camera.**

Now, I wait. Camera purchased, I wait, anxiously. For those of you out there like me, I do not recommend online purchases, the waiting is troubling. I expected to see the camera waiting for me that night, or the next morning, like christmas presents magically found under the tree. Of course, shipping from Illinois, this did not happen. Instead I occupied myself with reading the online reviews of the camera I just selected, and then purchasing a battery charger and a memory card for the new camera.

Then, today, at approximately 3:00 PM (EDT) [aside, is that the abbreviation for Eastern Daylight Time? Also, are we still on daylight savings in this time zone?] I received a call from home, they were just contacted by Sean, who works for [name omitted] to confirm shipping address, and would I please call them back at this number and that extension. Well, yes, of course I would, since it's the second day of what should be a 3-day shipping cycle, so I would like to make sure it's going where I told them to send it.

So I call Sean, at extension 241. And he's happy to confirm the shipping address. And he's happy, and maybe speaking a little too quickly to be a normal customer service representative, and maybe a little too...off...

And that's when I realize it's a scam! "AHA!" I cry, "You're found out!" And proceed to the reckoning.

No, just kidding. There was no reckoning. Here's how the conversation played out
He asks to confirm the address, and then offers me the bonus package: memory card, batteries, charger, shoulder strap, warranty, upping the price from $241.00 to $320.00. I decline. "No," I say, "I don't want the warranty, I don't need the batteries, I don't need the memory card." Sean informs me that the camera doesn't come with any of these accessories. I maintain my position, having already secured the necessary items at a lower cost elsewhere, currently being shipped (as promised) to my home. Not so with the camera. The camera hasn't left the warehouse. The camera doesn't leave the warehouse until Sean calls the purchaser to offer them the complete package. Now, me, being knowledgeable in the digital-camera-and-accessory-purchasing field, know that I don't need the bells and whistles. I just want the bare bones camera.

This is the part of the story where Sean and his evil website choose to punish me, the wily consumer, for my knowledge.

"That camera ships directly from the factory," he says. Ok, I respond, I don't care where it comes from, as long as it's going where it's supposed to, and getting there when you told me it would.
"Ah," he says, "that camera ships from the factory in 4-6 weeks." Excuse me? I respond, I've paid for 3-day shipping, an extra $40.00 charge.
"No no," he says oily, "three day shipping only applies to the US-bundle, with batteries, memory card, and warranty. If you'd like that package for only $320.00 it will ship in three days." I don't want that package, I say.
"So four to six weeks for your camera then?" he maintains. No, I respond, Cancel the order.
"Cancel your order?" he hollowly exclaims. Yes, I say. Cancel the order.
"Ok" he intones as he disconnects the phone.
"Thank you." I respond to the dead line.

That's right folks. We'll give you your precious three day shipping if you pay an exorbitant amount of money for items you can find much cheaper almost anywhere else! It's sort of like blackmail, except if you're smart like me, you recognize it for what it is and cancel the order then tell your friends to NEVER EVER EVER ORDER ANYTHING FROM WWW.[name omitted].com -damn extortionists.

Because the suck.

So now I'm going to Best Buy to pay retail price of something like $314.00 so that I will have the camera and can take it home with me on the same day. and they'll give me the stupid warranty and crap.

Death to www.[*&%@^#].com

-Tom