Al Gore Ruined The Economy...On Purpose

Al Gore ruined the economy! It was his master plan all along! The Oscar-winning documentary was just a distraction!

When the economy slows down, two things happen. First, less carbon is emitted. Nobody likes to say this in polite company, but a global economic near-depression is probably the single best "program" one could imagine for curtailing carbon emissions. Vehicle miles traveled are down in the United States in spite of significantly cheaper gas prices; industrial production has slowed; China and India are not increasing their carbon usage as fast as anticipated. (link)

Al Gore is a genius.

I'd still vote him into office even now, after he's tipped his hand on his ultimate plan for the economy:



The first rule about cap-and-tax laws is you do not talk about cap-and-tax laws in an election year!



-t

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Firewalled Again!

I caught an early train this morning so I would have plenty of time before work to review the teams competing in the NCAA tournament and then submit my bracket on espn.com.

So, at 8:45AM I started filling in the regions, (staying away from upsets) (I've got 3 1-seeds and a 2-seed in the finals)) and was ready to submit by 9:00AM.

I clicked "submit" AND THE CONFIRMATION PAGE WAS BLOCKED!

Kudos, I guess, to the IT department, for stringing me along for the entire deliberatory process only to shove the firewall in my face when I tried to make it official.

I will not, therefore, be participating in the espn bracket challenge, but I'll try to keep updates posted somewhere online.

Also, while we're talking about a firewall, can anyone offer an explanation why myspace, and facebook are blocked under the "dating and personals" rule but craigslist personals are freely available?

I can't check out pictures from my nephew's 1st St. Patrick's day on facebook, but I can pull this up in a full-screen browser (nsfw (my whole point, obv).

Corporate America, where Brackets are off limits, but Boobs are ok.

-t

Skip This Track

Pandora has ruined my iPod.

Not in any real tangible way, mind you, Pandora didn't up and jack my charger in the wrong way round, or induce a chemical reaction in the battery, but I can't skip songs anymore.

I mean, I can skip songs, I have the ability, the skip button still functions, but now, every time I reach over to jump past a song I don't care for this message flashes before my eyes, and my hand freezes:

Unfortunately our music licenses force us to limit the number of songs you may skip each hour. If you want to hear something else, try creating another station starting with a different artist or song.

Gah! I've been conditioned to listen to sub-par songs since Pandora is going to lock up anyway.

I've had to remind myself three times in the last hour alone that I'm listening to MY music on MY iPod and I can skip WHENEVER I WANT.

Stupid Pilgrims.

-t

Access Denied (Web-Based-Email)

Sometimes I sit at work and daydream about what it would be like to have a job that allows unfettered access to the internet. Then I start pricing Android phones.





-t

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Nerd Alert!

To: tom@work
From: Sam@home

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Is it wrong that I just entered a sweepstakes to go to the premiere of the new Star Trek movie? And if so, is it more wrong that I referred you and 4 of my other friends to enter so that I would get an extra 5 entries into the contest?

woot star trek!
~Sam


What's the Klingon for "nerd?" Oh, nevermind, I'll just ask Sam...

-t

References

Still trying to narrow down the list of DJs for the big event. I went to craigslist to find someone local (and cheap). Here is one of the exchanges:

To: djmikey@djing.com
Subject: RE: Availability for 8/15/2009

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Mike,

I hope you're still available for the 15th. I'm still trying to decide between a couple different DJs. Can you provide any references or testimonials from some of your clients?

Thanks,
Tom



To: tom@work
Subject: RE: Availability for 8/15/2009

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hi tom.

here are a few comments people have made.

Mike did a fabulous job at our wedding reception! We got many compliments on him and will definitely recommend him to anyone looking for a DJ. Thank you so much!
Sheri-ann
Ipswich, MA

Michael was amazing! The dance floor was packed all night and we got so many compliments on the music and how fun the wedding was. Michael was certainly the major player in creating the amazing atmosphere that night and for that we are truly thankful!
Natalie
Mendon, MA

hope these are what you are looking for.

call anytime

michael

And, not for nothing, but I'm pretty sure Mendon, MA is a made-up town name.

-t

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A The Funniest List About Comedians Ever

The Big Lead took a shot at a top ten comedy list over the last 20 years and missed badly. You can find their list and justifications by following this link, but a much better list (complied by yours, truly) is below.

(I, of course, welcome your critique and comments)

(Also, this is, I realize belatedly, restricted to American (check - North American) personalities, and will remain so, simply because I don't have the exposure (or langauges) necessary to rate European, Asian, African, Australian, or South American comics (plus, a lot of their material is messed up anyway)

(Also, as I wasn't comfortable throwing everybody into the same list I've recated categories, Oscar-style, which helped)

Variety/Sketch Comedians
John Steward slash The Daily Show writers
Stephen Colbert slash The Colbert Report writers
Tina Fey
David Letterman

Television Comedians
Matt Stone and Trey Parker
Steve Carrell (also nominated in the "bravest comedian" category)

Stand-up Comedians
Chris Rock
Jerry Seinfeld
Ellen DeGeneres
Stephen Wright
Nick Swardson

Megan Mooney (hon mention)
Jim Gaffigan (hon mention)

Movie:
Ethan and Joel Cohen
George Clooney (hon mention)

Omitted: The Arrested Development guys, Dimitri Martin (he's got time), Dave Chapelle (didn't crack the top three in his category), Will Ferrell (snub), Sandler, Myers,

Basically, if at any point I thought you had "the funniest show on television" you're on the list.

Bonus link Funniest Bit Ever

-t

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