Talking about work

Or, more accurately, talking about non-work, or un-work, or whatever you'd like to call it.

Today at 3:00PM I am attending a scheduled meeting of this focus group thing that I was volunteered for. ("for which I was volunteered." I'm just pointing out that I know the grammatically correct form, but that I choose not to exercise it.) We are meeting to discuss the progress of the project. I forget what the project is.

No, no, I'm kidding. I didn't forget. We're supposed to make like a training manual for newhires, or a training schedule, or something with training and newbies. This is the same group that met once, on the busiest day I've had in three months, and bitched about their managers. (Until the stupid girl who thinks she's Paris Hilton showed up, then she just dominated the conversation with none-of-us-even-remember because we were all clawing our eyes out or covering our ears instead of listening to her talk. damn she's stupid.)

The next week I received an email announcing meeting #2 at 11:00AM the following day.

The following day I forgot and skipped the meeting. I didn't know I'd skipped the meeting until the next day when I ran through my inbox again and saw the email. Oh well.

Today, 3:00PM meeting #3. Unless everyone else also missed meeting #2, in which case this would be meeting #2 Redux. Which I'm ok with.

At today's meeting we will not be doing any of our normal work. We will also not be doing any other kind of work, because these meetings are a total waste of time. We don't even have a deadline, and buddy, if you expect me to get anything done without a deadline, you have misplaced those expectations.

The way I see it, we'll have two more meetings with no itinerary, no goal, and nothing to show for them. Then, head honcho guy will figure out that we need some sort of motivation, like a deadline, and try to get us in gear. (Actually, he may have already figured this out, it might be nice to get a deadline today.) After the deadline is handed out, we'll skip a week, then meet twice a week for two weeks and throw something together. The final copy of our proposal, or checklist, or outline, or whatever will undoubtedly be written by the most senior member of the focus group, because I'm certainly not going to do it, and neither are my compadres. It will be weak and wishy-washy, and non-committal at best, or totally right and simple and clear at worst (because if someone sees something that is simple and clear and easily understood it gets shredded, and then: all these meetings for nothing). Then kicked to the higher ups, who will have a chance to read my name at the bottom of the page, and then, overcome with my accomplishments, and those of the rest of the focus group, give us all raises and new titles.

So that's at three o'clock.

-Tom
recommended download:
The Offspring, Gotta Get Away, and Something To Believe In