update

Ok, last night, up 'til 2:30 playing poker. (by the way, adina, I'm totally ready to play poker with you guys now, let me know when the next dan/adina/steve/jackie/kevin-buttons and pins game is, I'm in.)

That's right, I'm bragging about staying up late. How lame is that. It's pretty lame.
But not as lame as all you out there who went to bed at "a reasonable hour"
Anyway, I'm a little tired-er at work today, so I'm going to Dunkin Donuts for some coffee and a doughnut and I'm going to check what time Macy's closes today because I'm going to buy a new suit. (what color? tan, grey, black?) and also possilby a coat to wear with it, since it's the winter and I don't have a long coat, and because Macy's is having like a 25-50% off sale, so why not.

And big shout out to Katie! who's getting married tomorrow! Katie, I'm totally crashing the reception.

-Tom

recommended download: Dispatch, Headlights

Next

Screw it. I sit here, lament the working schedule, and wish I were back on college time. Well, screw it. I'm going back on college time, starting last night: Home from work about 6:30, went to Best Buy and spent $200 on dvds (highlights include, WW season 3, LOTR Return of the King extended edition, and The Matrix Ultimate Collection 10-disc set). Then watched Anchorman, the evening news, the simpsons, and instead of going to bed at 11:30 because I had work the next day, watched Collateral. Up 'til 2:30, wake for 8 at work, slept til 8:30 instead, showered, ate breakfast, sauntered, that's right sauntered, to the T, still made it to work on-time.

Live hard, party hard, or watch movies late into the night at any rate, I'm back on the old schedule. Who's with me? We're talking about defying convention. We're talking about the good times we used to have. We're talking about doing absolutely nothing for hours and hours at a time and drinking to the wee hours of the morning, and then drunk IMing each other. Or drunk playing ping-pong (if I get a table...and some opponents). Work really will become the place to kill time between all night movie marathons and running around crazy in Allston, or wherever and Bogglefest '05 (18A sign up with donny...aparently there's an online version of the game). It's gonna be good.

With that I'm going to double check a trade, tie-out my morning income, and then maybe take a nap, right here at my desk. At lunch, maybe I'll go out and find a flask.

Peace.
-Tom

recommended downloads:
Fuel, Shimmer, and Hemmorrhage (In My Hands)
Feeder, Just A Day
and The Who, Pinball Wizard

Bill Simmons (and also Bill Brasky)

I just spent the entire day reading Bill Simmons' (ESPN's The Sports Guy) picks for his top ten columns of the year. There were some good ones. This guy can write. But maybe he can't really write, it's just that he's a Boston sports fan and refers to as many 80s tv and movie moments as he can. Whatever the case, the formula works.

My eyes aren't working properly, the Sports Guy column is written in black text on a goldenrod background. After staring at it for (I'm estimating) about seveteen hours today everything else has taken on a blue tint.

I'm also feeling giddy, because the final column in the top ten of the year (actually the eleventh) was the column written about this year's ALCS game 5 and game 6. I'm reliving the Red Sox comeback all over again. No way I'm getting work done. (ok ok, I wouldn't be getting work done anyway).

Aslo, all of you out there in bloggerland, today all of your entries pale in comparison to a description of our championship Red Sox and their historic, never-been-done-before, down-three-games-to-none comeback series. Sorry, I'll def. be wrapped up in your day-to-day by tomorrow, never fear.

ps is The Warriors a book, or just a movie? I'm trying to figure out why I know the plot without having seen it...is it described in a movie I might have seen? I'm puzzled.

Also, I'm going to see The Life Aquatic tonight, so I'll mention that tomorrow.
happy hunting.
-Tom

recommended downloads:
All-American Rejects, Drive Away
Queen, Somebody To Love,
and Guns N' Roses, Sweet Child Of Mine

Dates and Times and Things

So, I'm not so good with dates and times, or really, remembering in general. Earlier today I was asked by my friend Dave if I had any plans for New Year's Eve. I said no...until about three seconds later when it occurred to me the reason I haven't made plans is because I'll be at my cousin's wedding for the weekend. That's right, I forgot my cousin's wedding. Then I couldn't remember when my friend Erika's skating competition was last night or tomorrow night. I asked her how it went anyway (I guessed right, last night), but the point is I didn't remember.

Unless it's important. It's not that I don't have a memory, or that I have a bad memory, or that I just have trouble with times and dates...it's just that I remember two types of things
1. really important stuff - for example: The Matrix Revolutions opened May 5th, 2003 (and a day earlier in Japan)

and 2. really irrelevant stuff - for example: I know that my brother Billy was born at 8:16 PM. Why would I need to know that?

And that's it, as far as dates and times go. My memory works great with numbers that don't mean stuff (mostly). Like ask me to remember a seven digit number you just made up, no problem. I can sometimes use the same trick to remember phone numbers. Ask me to list Pi to eleven decimal places, I could do it. Ask me what my highest scoring combo ever in Tony Hawk was, I can tell you (1,041,268 pts). But I'm going to forget your wedding date, or your birthday (ok, really, I never remembered it in the first place, so I can't forget it), or an anniversary of something that doesn't directly affect me. I used to joke that I had a girlfriend for that sort of thing. Turns out it wasn't a joke, I need somebody to run my calendar, otherwise I'd be sitting at home Jan. 1st playing video games not knowing I'm missing the start of the new year and my cousin's wedding at the same time. Thank goodness I'm good looking. At least I've got that going for me.

Unforgettably,

Tom

recommended downloads:

Bowling For Soup, Punk Rock 101
Lucky Boys Confusion, Medicine And Gasoline
Good Charlotte, My Bloody Valentine
Everclear, Like A California King

Blowing up

I've learned to mess with the system. It's the first step toward being really good at what we do here. I know enough about how we work that I can cover a mistake, or make it look like someone else's mistake. Just in time for the annual managerial review.

I think I'll leave that out of the self-review questionaire.

I'm going to quit. Sooner or later. Well, later. And then, watch out Monster and HotJobs you're in for some serious resume editing.

recommended download:
Elliot Smith, Miss Misery
and this time, listen to the lyrics.

Things I don't know how to do

1. work a fax machine
2. string a lacrosse stick
3. use microsoft access
4. ollie
5. integrate
6. solve differential equations
7. be modest
8. program in java
9. produce a movie
10. direct a movie
11. set up (and follow) a budget
12. use logarithms
13. ask a girl out
14. say no when a girl asks me out
15. be cool (but I'm not worried)
16. surf
17. skydive
18. crotchet
19. woodwork
20. play the clarinet

-te

recommended downloads:
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, She Just Happened, and City Back
Weezer, El Scorcho, and Only In Dreams

The Days Are Just Packed

I am planning a trip. Sort of.

Christmas day has come and gone, aparently it brough the Seinfeld dvd to Jonathan and now he won't shut up about it. Jonathan, if you're reading this, shut up about it. Thanks. Argh. I've lost my train of thought now. Oh, right, the trip...

So I'm going to Rome. Billy (age 10) was admitted to the Boston Boys Choir School (maybe you've heard of it, they're pretty good) this September. The choir is so good that they have been invited to sing for the Pope. (wow). So, the 62 student school is winging to the Vatican in March, and offering a tag-a-long trip for parents and siblings. I'm pretty excited. This will mark the second time I get to use my passport to leave the country. And the first time I've travelled far enough away that they speak a different languge where I'm going. But...!

I am also planning a trip to...I don't really know. Someplace domestic. At this moment I am being pressured to trip to Austin (btw, I just saw Road Trip and they had a good time driving to Austin...) to which I will either a) fly (if I'm going before August) or b) drive (if I have a car by whenever) but other destinations may include: Milwaukee, because it's a happening town, and they've got lots of beer; San Diego, because I've been told its the most beautiful place on earth; or Colorado, because they've got pretty good skiing and snowboarding, I'll have to get my own board first.

In the meantime I'm here in Boston (where we got eight inches of snow!) and working to save up some money to spend on a car and/or a plane ticket. So, readers, make your case, why is your city the best destination? :)

undecidedly,
Tom

recommended download:
Dynamite Hack, Bring It On

Bored Games

Growing up we played a lot of board games: Candyland, Snakes and Ladders, Pictionary, Trivial Pursuit, Parcheesi, Clue, Guess Who...

Last year for Christmas I got Risk. It's a game we didn't have while I was growing up, it was a game we didn't play. So we tried playing. This is back when I was in college, when I had a three week winter break to figure try and figure out. We got through half of one game, Timmy, Danny, and I. The whole break, half a game. That was all I've seen of the game since.

Today, we busted out Risk. Reread all the directions, doled out the battalions, the territory cards, the adventure cards, rolled die, invaded, attacked, won, lost. We started the game at 11:00 AM. Right now the game is sitting on the dining room table, mid-turn. We didn't finish. It's a tough game.

My roommate (ex-roommate for you sticklers) Tom (yes, also named Tom, for those who don't know) (no, please don't make juice guy jokes, they're not actually funny) played Risk growing up. Last Christmas (the same Christmas I got Risk) he received Risk 2025, a futuristic Risk game, which includes territories on the moon, and uninhabitable territories resulting from the third nuclear world war. Tom, Donny, and I played when we got back to school.

Tom kicked our ass.

Well, mine anyway, he may have kicked Donny's ass too, but I don't really remember because I was elminated by my third turn and kind of lost track.

Now we're watching Miracle (man I love this movie) and sitting in the living room surrounded by presents Santa left. Including a Red Sox hat for everyone. (sweet. go sox.) All I'm really hoping for are new guitar strings. That would be nice.

The girls in California, they all look the same to me
They way they take for granted living by the sea
They can be your best friends if you don't expect too much
The girls in California all believe in love -stephen kellogg, she moves in such a way

recommended download: Stephen Kellogg, The America Song, Southern State of Mind, or Pain Comes

Why I love sunflowers

First, they are nice looking flowers. But not too nice looking. Not like a rose that's all "hey, look, I'm so pretty, everyone thinks I'm the best flower, look how soft my petals are, look how red they are." And another thing, roses are psycho, they're worse than girls. Seriously they're like "Aw, look how beautiful I am, but BACK-OFF BUDDY!! I'll cut you! I'll cut you!" and whip out the thorns lightning fast. You never see it coming. I mean really, haven't you had a girlfriend like that, she's all "Oh, look how good I look in this dress WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S 'JustO.K.'?!? I''m gonna kick your ass!" And man, we just don't see it coming. And if we do see it coming well, it's too late, we're already dating her, and it's tough to break it off with a girl who keeps a knife under her pillow just in case there's a nocturnal intruder, (which also makes it difficult to spend the night, but that's another story about another scar). Because when you bring her the flowers to apologize for not liking the dress that actually didn't look that great on her and you were only trying to do her a favor by not letting her wear it out in public, and she bought it anyway and now you do your best when you go out to avoid eye contact with other guys who probably understand your situation and sympathize with you, and the damn flowers stuck you like a pig. So now nevermind the girl in the ugly dress chasing you down the hall with a knife stepping on your apology roses all the way, but you're also bleeding on your new tie and white shirt, and ok I guess blood will come out if you get it into the wash in time, but you can't go out like this, even alone, since you won't be going with her, you know from experience when she gets like this she needs "alone time," no bar around here is going to let you in bleeding on your clothes. So that's another trip home, to change and another trip back in on the T, probably the Green line and man I hope I don't get stuck on the T with that stupid driver who uses the speaker to practice his substandard stand-up routine on his captive audience while riding the tracks beneath the city because I hate that guy, I'd rather just ride the T in peace and he's not even that funny, and even if he were that funny he's still got a lot to think about timing wise, like don't tell the same joke every other stop, you're just recycling the joke to the same people until you get into Park Street, which is where everyone gets off and you pick up a whole new batch of passengers who haven't heard the jokes already, so there you go, you're set to repeat your whole set. But if I don't get that guy, then I'm probably going to bring my iPod but then I'd need to change coats so I have a pocket I can carry it in, and if I change coats I'll have to change shirts too, because plaid on plaid just won't work, and man that knife wound is starting to sting, but at least I don't have to get a haircut now. Oh yeah, tomorrow might be her birthday...maybe I'll get her some roses. I'll do that after I drop this bloodied suit off at the dry cleaners. And that is why I love sunflowers.

it's a little frustrating when...

Argh. It seems as soon as things start going smoothly they.....stop going smoothly. Stupid funds. Since my last post my two tax-free funds have gone haywire. Selling out of securities, buying securities with no rates, and the system isn't logging the trades like it should be, so it took some detective work to first, find out that something was wrong, and second, to find out what that something was, and now, it'll take some leg work to figure out how to fix it. (and by leg work I mean it figuratively, but also literally, as I'll have to perform manual calculations on my adding machine, but also have to get up and walk across the office to the Bloomberg terminal and back probably eight times. Of course, this is what they pay me for.

So, what do you find frustrating? please comment.

-tgme
recommended download,
We Three Kings, Of Orient Are (I just heard a woodwind version, it was pretty sweet)
or any Christmas song as sung by Perry Como

Today, December 23

Today is gorgeous. Mid-fifties on my way to work, a nice breeze, it felt like spring. I arrived at 9:45 AM and the office was bustling with activity. Everyone in both groups was chatting amiably and joking with each other. I think it's because we've got a three-day weekend coming up. I also think it should be like this all the time. It would certainly make working here a little more enjoyable all the time, not just during the holidays, when people are pretty much happy anyway.

To start the day Jonathan is listening to On The Rocks, the xm satellite radio martini station, they're playing Sammy Davis Junior right now. Well, it's better than Opie and Anthony, to which he has just switched. I can't breathe again because Joe, who shares a cubicle wall with me, just doused his cube in body spray, or cologne, or whatever he calls it. I'm choking on a cloud of heavily scented areosol. Joe also bought himself a rolex for christmas (not on our salary, you exclaim?) well, you'd be right, Joe supplements his regular paycheck betting on football, and to a lesser extent basketball. And the way the Steelers Pats Falcons and Eagles have run away with the league this year, he's been doing pretty well. His next big concern is getting a watch winder. Ah, to be young and in love.
Hyper manager brought in donuts for the group, which was nice, and coincidentally, I skipped breakfast this morning, it's worked out rather well.

In other news the addition we're putting on the house is nearing completion and the workers' banging and wall-knocking down has stirred up mice. grr. Bingo, the jack russell, is supposed to be a good mouser. But he's no cat. So, while he's doing his best, our situation has changed from thinking we had mice, to knowing we have mice. And there's not much we can do until the addition is finished, and the giant gaping hole to the great outdoors in our dining room wall is closed in. In the meantime, we've taken to naming the mice. We're starting with the names of Santa's reindeer.

Merry Christmas. Love, Tom.


recommended download:
Christmas tunes, like, Let It Snow,
Donna Summer, Hot Stuff,
and Pearl Jam, Red Mosquito

things I love

I've tried six times to start this list. I can't get it right. Because I'm at work.
I am in no mood to be serious, or, at this point, even facetious.
Therefore instead I am presenting a selfish list of things I want
I want a different job.
I want to buy a new car.
I want the financial and temporal freedom to travel the country.
The first two might get me the third.
I want my own apartment, but I'm willing to wait.
I want to write a book.
I want people to like me.
I want people to want me around.
I want a winter break, like old times.
I want "old times" to not mean "last year in college."
I want people to call me on my phone just to say hi.
I want someone to ask for my number
so they can call me on my phone just to say hi.
I want everyone who I've known in college to know how much your friendship means to me.
It means a lot.
I want a puppy. But not before I have an apt. to keep him in.
I want to not have to manually update 17 rates every Wednesday.
I want my bedroom to be clean, without having to clean it.
I want more guitar lessons.
I want another role model.
I want to grow up without ever having to grow up.
I want I want I want to be happy
but more than that
I want you to be happy, and I want to help get you there.

-tom.

recommended downloads: Queen, Fat-Bottomed Girls and Brian Webb, Tobias

Lost

Well, I feel like I've run out of things to talk about here in the blog. Currently I can raise my arm above my shoulder with only minimal pain, the snowboard injury seems to be fading. Jonathan is still listening to his radio and talking to the other guy in his group about stupid music and stupid radio-dj pranks. I wouldn't mind if they got moved to another part of the floor. Cute girl has lost all meaning for me, after learning she is engaged to be married (in two years time) the magic sort of dwindled down to nothing. Natasha, the girl in my group who messes everything up was fired last friday, so Monday I picked up one of her funds, bringing my total to eight. Joe, the kid across from me, hired at the same time as I was, has three; Mark, who's been here the longest, has five. I like to think the managers have confidence in me. Though it may just be that they keep catching me online blogging or AIMing and are trying to pile the work so high I won't be able to "waste any time" online. But I'll show them. viva la revolucion.

Yesterday the managers handed out Christmas gifts to everyone in the group, a bottle of wine apiece. I don't drink much wine, so I don't know if I like it, or if thwat they were giving out was any good. I received a bottle of estancia pinot grigio, from california. I haven't opened it.

I'm looking at the vacation calendar now, at least two people are out today and each day until Jan. 5th. Also, explain this to me, why do we have to work New Year's Eve, but not Martin Luther King Jr. day or Washington's birthday? Well, no matter, I also have a week off in March (7th-11th) to go to Rome with some of the family. I'm excited, and no doubt will grow more so as March approaches. Also, you may want to find yourselves a distraction for that week, since I won't be blogging all day to keep you occupied at work. ;)

recommended download: Pearl Jam, In Hiding and Good Charlotte, East Coast Anthem

cascadingly yours,
Tom

stealing "keep busy at work" ideas from kat

ok, song list, guess the song and artist, no cheating. (ha, most of these are probably on my recommended downloads)

a. the poor boy changes clothes and puts on aftershave, to compensate for his ordinary shoes

b. though I might stay for a day there if I had my wish, there's not much to do when your friends are all fish, and an oyster and clam aren't real family...

c. breakin' rules and breakin' down never thought twice about it, pushin' drugs and skipping town, now we just talk about it, what if we never even make it back...

d. if you want me to wait, I will wait for you, if you want me to stay I will stay right through, if you don't want to say anything at all, I'm happy wondering

e. if you're going to san fransisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair, if you're going to san fransisco, you're gonna meet some gentle people there

f. if you could see in my eyes, I'd show you darling, surprise, there is a place, there is a fortune, it has everything and I want to share it with my friends

g. I'm dreaming while you're stealing babies, how are you going to help me sleep again? how should I say I'm so sorry, how should I pray to know that we're alive

h. hand me a brick a stick a picket, bludgeon, axe, or cobblestone, riot down on broad street, if I'm going down hell I'm not goin down alone!

i. she looks like a teenage anthem, yeah, she looks like she used to be happy with the girl inside. she looks so bored sometimes, she's got that super-pale skin and those soft green eyes...

j. it sounds so simple I just got to go, the sun’s so hot I forgot to go home, guess I’ll have to go now...

k. the cia is after you, what the hell is there to do but run? we made a promise to eternity...

l. there's a kiss at the end of the rainbow, more precious than a pot of gold

m. we took advantage of the poor, just ignored the needy, we specialized in causing pain, spreading fear and doubt, and if you could not pay the rent, we simply threw you out!

n. there is a young cowboy, who lives on the range, his horse and his cattle are his only companions, he works in the saddle and he sleeps in the canyons, waiting for summer, his pastures to change...

o. am I, strung out, crazy or not allowed to be the one who gets stupid over you? lazy, laidback, maybe you're just on crack why am I the one who gets fucked up and confused?

p. monday rowing, tuesday gymnastics, dancing on a friday night, I got bridge club on wednesday archery on thursday, dancing on a friday night, with you

p. I wanna get me a good home where the rising cost of raising children is not a factor, and you can't believe the things it does to me.

t. I'm heading out to the highway, I've got nothin to lose at all, I'm gonna do it my way, take a chance before I fall, a chance, before, I fall

u. you'll say the world has come between us, our lives have come between us, still I know you just don't care

v. when the big one finds you may this song remind you that they don't serve breakfast in hell

w. I wonder what it's like to be the head honcho, I wonder what I'd do if they all did just what I said

x. mama said they'd be days like this they'd be days like this my mama said (mama said mama said)

y. I'm just sick and tired of all those lies you tell me you say those same things to me over and over and over

z. the chemicals displaced, there is no lonlier place than lying in this bed

recommended download:
Paul Simon, Kodachrome

and then get back to work ;) -t

Holy Crap

I just caught myself talking about how the weather affected my commute! I can't stadn this. Who am I turning into? I'm not that guy! I love the weather, wether it affects my commute or not! I don't talk about my commute at work. I don't talk about my weekends at work. I don't talk abuot anything at work.

I'm not going to cave. Sharing with coworkers is admitting you'll be here for a while, that you value their input, opinions, or them as people. I am not the guy that gives that impression. I don't want to hear about your dog, or your weekend, I don't want to hear "Oh, I like to ski." No, I'm the guy that will patiently listen to you talk about your dog, or your weekend, and use my breain to udnerstand. Like when you say "I took a big fall on a black diamond early in the day and my shoulder still hurts." You know what? I'm intelligent enough to know that means you were skiing, and that you are good enought to ski black diamond trails, and that you'r tough enough that one little fall won't ruin your day. And then maybe you earn a little respect, for being tough, but more for not treating this like a conversation you'd have with a two-year old. "Yes, I went skiing. Skiing is where you put long skis on your feet and slide down a big snow-covered mountain. Would you like another cookie?" Argh.

I'm not asking for you to be my friends. In fact, I'm specifically asking you not to act like that's what we're all trying to do. If you're cool enough to be my friend, then it'll happen. So cool it. And if you're not, then I'm going to resent you talking to me wether you're pretending or not pretending. And in the meantime all I'm expecting is that you do the work assigned to you efficiently and correctly, and try to remember that you too are an intelligent person, who graduated with a college degree, and that means you are smart enough to realize when you don't know how to solve a problem. When that happens ask for help.

I don't want to hear about your commute. I don't want to hear about the weather. I don't want to hear about how much you hate your job, or how much I should hate mine. If you'd like to kill some time by chatting about music, or movies, or the latest 60 Minutes expose then by all means go ahead, most of the time I'll play along. If you want to ditch the boring make no ripples approach, then I salute you and welcome real conversation about real things, and not the crap reality tv you watch and then recite every single day to the rest of the group, who, I assure you, hates it just as much as I do. Where are the conversations we had in college? The guys trying to outdo and impress each other "oh, but this one party I was at, they were lighting people on fire, man it was so cool..." or the deep intellectual (psuedo-intellectual?) discussions about literature (that's books, I mean good books) not the latest Da Vinci code that you're reading only because "I've heard everyone else read it" Honestly. I'm not saying don't read it, I'm saying pick up Charles Dickens too. Now especially, it's the holidays for crying out loud. Or, even better, you could admit to something that might make you seem a little strange. "I like to read, but my favorite is comic books, like Hellboy, or Alan Moore." Heaven forbid you should turn out to have a personality, likes, dislikes, interests outside the main demographic's. That's why when you asked me what kind of beer I drink I asked for a qualifier, dark, light, imported, etc not because I drink a lot, but because I have preferences, and I'm not going to just answer "yeah, I like budweiser." and then drop my head back down. I'm perfectly willing to give you an honest answer. It's your job to handle it.


one rant at a time
-Tom

recommended downloads:
anything with a high-energy electric guitar

Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody
Counting Crows, Angels Of The Silences
Guns N' Roses, Sweet Child Of Mine, or Paradise City
AC/DC, For Those About To Rock, or It's A Long Way To The Top (ok, the last one's got an energetic bagpipe solo, but that's gotta be at least as good as an electric guitar.)

Sambuca

Sambuca, from the office yankee swap holiday gift giving event. I didn't know at the time if I'd like it, but I picked it anyway. I'm always one to try new things.

And it is so good.


Drunk a lot friday night. Hungover Saturday morning, went out got Christmas tree (:-D) Then off to holiday party at John's. (btw, John, what a lame party ;) Had a good time, had lovely escorts home on the T, and getting back earlier than anticipated (11:45) caught Weekend Update (I love Tina Fey, and, to a lesser extent, Amy Pohler) and then had a three and a half hour conversation online, even though we'd scored free lift tickets for Sunday morning. So bed at 3:30 or something, wake at 7:15, ride up, snowboard for a while, ride back. and sleep. which was great. As I type we're making dough ornaments and watching Casino on USA. Ah, the holidays :)

Please leave a comment if you like sambuca. Or if you would like to try some, I've got a bottle here somewhere...

-heart,
Tom

and
recommended downloads:
Van Halen, Jump, Higher, and Panama

Merry Christmas Office Gift Giving

Well, what a productive morning I've had. Tied out income early (since I'd yet to purchase a gift for today's office yankee swap). Go out for coffee, and also for liquor (for the office yankee swap).

Done, Done and Done. And it's only like 10:45. Next up is Rates, which usually don't come in until 11:45 or sometimes later. Once Rates are in we Accrue through the Weekend, then tie out trades for the day. Tonight, I may or may not go see a movie, may or may not hang out with people I know, may or may not go home and watch Titus on DVD.

Movies like: Blade Trinity, the third installment in the trilogy about the vampire hunting half-man half-vampire in which he faces The First Vampire (cleverly called "Drake") highlights include Wesley Snipes martial arts, Jennifer Biel in tight clothing kicking vampire butt, and Ryan Reynolds' (from Two Guys A Girl And A Pizza Place semi-fame) hilariously wise-cracking and ad-libbing ex-vampire-turned-vampire-hunter.

The Life Aquatica with Steve Zissou: Another Wes Anderson (Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, The Royal Tenembaums) flick, this time written with Noah Baumbach, featuring Billy Murray and Owen Wilson as revenge-seeking shark hunters whose quest is beset by financial trouble, pirates, and more.

Ocean's Twelve: No plot summary here, if you don't know about Clooney & Friends' latest then you've probably skimmed to the recommended downloads already. I've heard good, I've heard bad, I've heard different, but I'd bet it's fun, and better than a poke in the eye.

Spanglish: I love Adam Sandler in dramatic roles. Also Tea Leoni is cool, and it's been a while since whatever that show was she did on NBC before Just Shoot Me took its place. And I can't help but laugh at the commercial where the mother is drinking at noon.

I Heart Huckabees: I've wanted to see this forever, but I haven't seen it, plans fell through, theater near my house stopped running it, etc. But it looks fun and weird, which is great, and that kid from Rushmore is in it, and that girl from The Ring, and other people too, like Dustin Hoffman, and seriously, when has he ever made a bad movie?

Kinsey: Something I'd like to see, I'm a Liam Neeson fan. Though I don't like the female lead much I think I could sit through it.

Ray: Jamie Foxx as Ray Charles, this kid can act.
Motorcycle Diaries: No one's been dissapointed that I've heard.
Finding Neverland: Johnny Depp, Peter Pan, fabulous visual effects. Heartwarming children's story.
House of Flying Daggers: Martial Arts, slow motion, wire work. Who cares if the plot only runs through the first half of the movie?

Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events: I'd like to read it before I see the movie, from what I've heard they put a slightly positive spin on this dark comedy, to lighten it up a bit for the kids. Jim Carrey going wild as Count Olaf mistreating the poor orphaned Baudelaire children and spending their inheritance.

Sideways: looks funny, good to great reviews, dark horse comedy of the season I think.

But, once I've seen them, then I'll really have something to say. (ps, keep an eye out for Johnny Depp in Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory).

-Tom

recommended downloads:
Pearl Jam, Fatal, and I Am Mine
(if I've recommended these before, somebody yell at me and I'll change 'em. ;)

Oh, the places I've been

I've been catching up on Mighty Girl's archives http://www.mightygirl.net She is hilarious, and I thoroughly enjoy most of her posts, and all of her Morning News articles (you'll find links to the articles in the posts). I found her blog through John's blog, who found it while idly cruising the internet. Kudos for the link, John. John also thinks that I'm being a bit obsessive with the reading archives for the whole day now. But what can I say. I'm sure if you're online I've sent you a link or two with particularly funny content. Well, that's where I've been.

The other place I've been should really be in a separate post, but I'd rather put it here so I don't forget to tell you. www.explodingdog.com I've also been catching up on the archives, they are also hilarious. It's not a blog, just thousands of drawings. If you don't get it right away you will after about the thirtieth one.

well, those are two good places to go. besides here, of course.
happy surfing.

-Tom

recommended download: The Beatles, Here And There And Everywhere

Early Morning

At first blogging was a way to occupy myself in the downtime after lunch, but now, it's begining to take a hold of me. The more I blog the earlier in the day I want to sign on; at first it was after lunch, when there really was nothing to do. It has progressed to the point where now, this past week, I have had to tell myself each morning "No, tie out morning income, get rates, then sign on." Hours earlier than I would have considered posting when this first began. Today it happened though: I didn't even wait to open up my work-related applications (excel, outlook, etc) I went right to the internet. AIM and blogger. I stopped myself halfway through the post and tied out income. after all, work does come first here at work, doesn't it.

And speaking of work related email, here's an excerpt from this morning's only message:
[The 12/31 cycle is by far a “mammoth” one – not only for our fund group, but most Fund groups. It will be challenging for all, but we have faced many challenges over the past year. This cycle is especially important as it is a true test of what we can accomplish as an established fund group. . . . This cycle will set the tone for all future cycles (a blueprint, if you will), in that we will be “attacking” them rather than letting them “attack” us. Yes, lives may be lost, but it is for the “Cause” – sorry, different speech. In all seriousness, we need to collectively and positively, meet the demands of this cycle and those going forward.

Given the aggressive Financial Reporting deadlines and other non-Financial related activity, we are making the weekend of January 8th/9th mandatory. You should plan on working that weekend. Although there may be a portion of the items completed during the week, there may be re-work, etc, that needs to be done after being reviewed – we want to ensure that we are being extremely thorough, since any item overlooked will haunt us later on during the cycle.

There may be some groups, by pure luck of the draw, that appear to have a lighter deliverables list. Not so. This will be a community effort – at both the individual level and group level. If you have completed, for example, your budget/dollar roll template/audit guide, etc.. you will assist others in your group. If your group has completed absolutely all deliverables, your group will assist other groups, and so on. ]

That is not the best way to greet 200 employees on a weekday morning. I am also starting an informal poll to guess which of the folks in my group will have something they "just couldn't get out of" that weekend. I am also calling my cousin to see if she can reschedule her wedding for the 8th/9th instead of the New Year's weekend. I can tell you one thing for sure though. If they expect me to work on a weekend then they better be prepared to have me at work on Saturday morning hungover (or still drunk) and wearing the same clothes I left the office in Friday night. And you know what, that goes for Sunday morning too.

-Tom

ps. How pumped are you about The Life Aquatica and if you don't know what I'm talking about, look it up. and then get pumped.

Diamonds

I have a plan.

-Tom

recommended downloads:
Queen, Breakthru
Paul Simon, Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes

hilarious

ok, two items to report:
1. my eye is much better today. I woke up this morning to see that the injury has been reduced to a large-ish cut under my right eye. so now instead of a giant swelling bruise it looks more like I stabbed myself in the face with a screwdriver.

2. the office is out of paper. this is the funniest thing I think that could have happened. I am trying hard not to laugh my head off every time I hear someone say "do we have any paper?"
you may understand how important it is to have a hard copy backup of your work, we print out income logs for our funds throughout the day, I'd say we could probably take out a quarter of the brazilian rainforest in a month (but we recycle). I have seven funds. Each fund has an income log and trades throughout the day. I print income logs from our groups printer, usually three times a day for each fund (21 pages). Also, a checklist for each fund at the end of the night. Trades are printed from the printer on the other side of the floor, three sheets per trade, 20 trades a day for each fund (140 pages). Managers print distribution sheets, adjustment sheets, and it's early in the month, so we're also printing budgets (50 pages each fund). There are 10 people like me in the group. There are three groups on the floor. Plus three PA groups on the floor. I don't know how many pages that is but it's something like 250 x 60 a day. Plus the report group that uses a special printer that seems to never ever ever stop printing all 9 hours I'm here at work, maybe 30000 pages a day. Ok, I lied, I did the math, it's a rough estimate but I'd guess minimum we go through about 18,000 sheets of paper a day here on the floor. And we're out of paper.

It's the funniest thing I've ever seen. I've got three managers calling other managers on the floor, and human resources, and supply asking where is our paper?, did they miss a delivery?, when will we get paper? Hyper-coffee manager has become a papernazi, carrying around a ream of paper he found and distributing sheets as-needed to members of the group. The trade printer is now out of paper and we have to take sheets to feed in manually, others on the floor are hovering like vultures, trying to time their documents to the printer so it spits out their trades instead of ours. Hilarious.

Our AVP just walked in the door, somewhat triumphantly, and announced to the group "The paper is two blocks away. they delivered it to another building." He then continued, "The truck left, so I'm going to go over there and grab a couple boxes." I think I'm going to try to head out for coffee in about twenty minutes to maybe watch the AVP lug two big boxes of paper a couple blocks on his shoulders.

This is the sort of thing that makes me wish I were management.

-tom

Amazing

I am having an incredible amount of trouble holding on to pens and pencils today. I don't think I've ever had this much trouble with writing implements before. I'm dropping pens all over hte place, left and right, and what's more, it seems my juggling reflexes have deserted me. I am, usually, pretty good at rescuing an object flying through the air, snatching it before it hits the ground and can be broken (cell phones, plates, etc) but not today... Maybe because I'm still tired from this weekend, maybe because my busted-up eye is contributing to a lack of depth perception...but still, that's just the catching, that has nothing to do with the dropping in the first place. I don't get it.

Well, work has just appeared on my desk, so, this is Tom signing off, for now.

recommended download: Flogging Molly, Delilah

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Would you respect me any less if I called in sick today? I mean, really, there are circumstances... I've got nothing to wear, my hair's getting a little unruly, I may or may not have been punched in the face at this party on friday night, so my eye is now puffy, red, and swollen, I also only slept two hours friday night, so I'm a little tired right now, Survivor ended last night, which means that the girl that talks about nothing but television is going to be talking about nothing but the survivor conclusion, I'm going to be seeing people at work that I haven't seen since friday, and maybe that's something I was thinking about avoiding, and my eye does look really bad. So would you respect me any less if I called in today? Maybe spent the morning in bed, then the afternoon christmas shopping...

But, that seems rhetorical now, because here I am. And boy, am I glad I came in. Delay on the T so I was late, tt's so cold in here I'm having difficulty typing, and Jonathan is listening to Opie&Anthony badger female callers about shaving. However, the girl that talks about nothing but tv is out today, so, thankfully, we don't have to hear it, though I guess if she were here she'd be blocking out the obnoxious radio hosts. I have also avoided to this point the poeple I was thinking about avoiding. My hair does look ridiculous, but not many people have noticed, instead paying attention to my eye injury. Three times today I've heard an unsolicited "ooh, that looks bad...does it hurt?" No, it doesn't hurt, yes, it does look bad, no, I don't know how it happened, it was like this when I woke up Saturday, and man, you should have seen it then, it's much better now. Maybe it was a spiderbite, that's what happens when you spend the night at a strange apt. drunk and on a second-hand high from all the smoke in the air. But I don't really think it's a spiderbite, I haven't developed any superpowers or extra-awareness of what's going on around me, and it's been two days. Maybe it was a spiderbite, and the spider laid its eggs in my cheek, I saw this show once on the discovery channel where that happened and this guy's cheek swelled up like a golfball and then he had to go to the doctor and the cut out this huge egg-sac, it was pretty gross. But actually, I think the swelling is going down, so that might not be it. Could have been a fight, it was a crazy party, two hundred people, kegs everywhere, lighting up everywhere, simultaneous beruit tournaments, lots of out-of-town kids looking for trouble, but I don't think it was a fight...I don't remember winning any fights...

Anyway, back to work I guess, thanks for your concern. I appreciate it. Tom out.

recommended downloads:
3 Doors Down, Smack
Stephen Kellogg, She Moves In Such A Way

I. Love. Jeans.

I love jeans. Have some fun and look up the origin of the dungaree workpants that have become Levi Strauss jeans, it's a nice story.

Jeans are great. They are comfortable, they look good, they wear well, they're durable. I love jeans. Girls look good in jeans. Real good. Hell, everybody can look good in jeans, even fat people. And any outfit based on jeans is a winner. The grunge look: ratty jeans, ratty t-shirt, ratty flannel, ratty sneakers, ratty hair. The casual business look: straight stone-washed jeans, untucked button-down shirt, loose tie, matching socks, square-toed shoes. The skater look: loose jeans, t-shirt, hooded sweatshirt, skate shoes, desperately needs a haircut. The punk look: tight tight tight black jeans, studded belt, studded bracelet(s), collar, bookbag, dyed-black, pink, blue hair, msifits t-shirt, black fingernails, black converse all-stars. On and on and on.

I love jeans. I'm wearing some right now.
I'm also wearing my blue hooded sweatshirt, but that's a post for another day.

monochromatically yours,
Tom

recommended downloads:
Kiss, Rock And Roll All Night
The Beatles, Get Back
The Who, The Seeker
Everclear, Heartspark Dollarsign

day off day on

Yesterday's dentist appt. went well (no cavities!) and today I am back at work, and I feel great. I think all businesses should switch to a new overall schedule. Two days off, one day on, one day off, one day on, two days off, one day on, and so forth. It really is quite amazing. The day off provides rest and relaxation, energizing us to come in to work the next day, and the imminent two days off is like a weekend, so everyday you work feels like a friday, and let's be honest, that's why we all love fridays. It'll be great, hordes of non-disgruntled workers everywhere. If we can make this proposal a world-wide reality we may actually have people spontaneously joining hands in open meadows and forming giant peace symbols on their days off. And it works for management too! Happier workers won't sue you. Because they're working fewer hours you won't have to cover as much insurance. The best part is, you won't ever have to worry about long holiday weekends or closing on national holidays. Since there'll be so much off time we'll just arrange it so all the holidays fall on the days off. It'll be like a journey into the past, the only people working all the time will be the essentials: doctors, emts, police, fire. Special dispensations can be arranged for those in the tourist businesses, to work on the worldwide days off. Dare we call it a worker's Utopia? Yes. So, take it to your manager, Tom's Utopia Plan, and if he's worth his salary he'll recognize the benefits and kick it on up the line, and when it reaches the top bam. worldwide two days on, one day off, one day on, one day off. man, it'll be sweet.

-from outside the box.
TE

An Office Christmas List

1. a more reliable stapler

2. less email traffic

3. a longer lunch hour

4. a rock soundtrack

5. credit, where credit is due

6. caller id

7. responsibility

8. casual thursday

9. a smile from the pretty girl/guy who sits near the printer

10. a ping-pong table in the breakroom

11. a breakroom

12. paddles for the ping-pong table

13. microwave lunches that don't "cuis-suck"

14. later start

15. earlier quittin' time

16. a raise

17. a thank you

18. addictinggames.com back

19. heat

20. or at least jack daniels

recommended downoads:
Bruce Springsteen, Santa Claus Is Comin To Town
Fountains Of Wayne, I Want An Alien For Christmas
Steve Martin & Paul Simon, Silver Bells
Veggie Tales, Feliz Navidad

'Preciatively

I'm thinking about writing a screenplay. Like Office Space. But maybe a little more like Haiku Tunnel. And a little different from both of them. I'm not a member of the Hollywood elite though, so I think I'll have a little trouble getting it produced, but that's a worry for after it's written.

I'm also looking for collaborators. Especially anyone who is a) currently working and has cynical and derisive things to say about their work environment. b) working and has funny things to say about their work environment. or c) screenwriting/movie-watching experience.

Well, here at wherever it is I work it's budget time. That means late hours and lots of Excel documents that won't open or formulas that won't work. You may spot a post from me later on this evening, after quitting time (supposed to be 6:00, usually 6:30) and that's beacause I'm still here working on budgets. But hey, Christmas season, I can use the overtime pay to buy yankee swap gifts for the office. Huzzah.

John, as to your offer of a job, thank you. What is it you do?

More later. Tom out.

recommended download: Pearl Jam, Drifting Away

quitting time

I haven't really woken up all day. Just been sitting here zoning out. I feel like I should quit this job. But then the money would stop coming in. I haven't decided if that's a big issue yet.

Right now the cubevilleians are browsing movie titles online and makign fun of Nikki's fur sweater (it's made from probably two hundred rabbits).
Coworker1: "2001: A Space Odessey, is that like, sci-fi?"
Coworker2: "Yeah, it's more drama than sci-fi, it's scary. It's from the same guy that did The Shining."
Coworker1: "Oh yeah, you're right, Stanley Kubrick."
Meanwhile I'm thinking something like "shut-up shut-up shut-up shut-up." Honestly. Stanley Kubrick? The Shining? Drama, sci-fi? Let's talk about totally obscure movie titles and pretend we care what everyone else thinks about them. Let's announce which ones we're going to buy, even though we haven't seen them yet. Let's just keep talking and talking and talking and talking and see if we can push Tom over the edge so he'll start screaming and tearing out his hair.

Argh. I need about three weeks off, for my own mental health. And when I come back, I don't think it should be to this job. New semester, new classes....why not new semester new job?

stupid pilgrims.

-tgme

recommended download: The Beatles, Her Majesty

Today is Day Seven

I was very rested this morning. I am very tired now. I think I think I'm still asleep. But I'm not, I'm here at work. Not working. What else is new. No one seems too pleased to be here today, Jonathan is yelling at his mother's voicemail and complaining to coworkers that she all he told her to do is "keep the [expletive deleted] phone on...just charge it at night, and remember to turn it on, if it means getting two batteries get two batteries." His voicemail went something like "You probably don't even know how to answer a voicemail, but if you get this call me at work, if not I'm just going to keep calling back every half hour until you turn on your phone."

My funds tied out this morning, no problems. I posted expenses, no problems. I updated the day-lag rates, no problems. Now I'm waiting to go to the 11:00 budget meeting. I've got Yellowcard stuck in my head, but it's not going to be the recommended download, I've got something a little different for that.

No one seems to be enjoying work this morning. Nikki is complaining complaining complaining "Excel is down again aargh" and "Could you please update the rates?" with a distinct foreign accent which sometimes makes her difficult to understand. Another coworker has dowsed his cubicle in cologne, intentionally, maybe, or maybe he accidentally opened the bottle and then knocked it over. And the rest of the office is silent ... No chatter between the managers, no chatter from the spunky admin assistant from the other side of the floor. And Chuck isn't even complaining, which has never happened before. Chuck's been here the longest, he came in with the merger, he would have been a manager if they hadn't been bought out. All we here is "Can you believe them?" and "Yeah, that's how they screw you over" and "I hate this job, do you hate it yet?"....in all cases "they" and "them" is management. I think if I could take a nap without getting fired I would do that. But probably I'll just cruise aroud online for another fifteen minutes...sit for the budget meeting...then cruise around online until lunch.

So I hope you others out there in blog/livejournal land have been updating, or you're going to get some longwinded comments later on.

peace out

recommended download: Radiohead, Blackstar

Writer's Block

It appears I'm not creative enough, motivated enough, or bored enough to post from home.
I've discovered this over the past weekend, during which I have tried three times to post something but have decided each of the three times that it wasn't good, or I didn't have anything to say.
I still don't, I just thought I should mention it.

Also, I don't like to talk about stuff that goes on outside of work here in the blog...it's become sort of a workblog. Or a sort of not-doing-work blog. Which is why you won't catch your name here if we happened to do something this weekend. That's real life. This is just fake life.


recommended downloads:
Ben Lee, Nothing Much Happens
The Beatles, And Your Bird Can Sing
Oasis, Supersonic

So much

Ok, lots of stuff to write, I'm sure I'll forget stuff, maybe I'll remember later...I don't know...

Last night's holiday party. It was a good time. I wrote something down about how much I like alcohol, and if I find the notebook I wrote it in I'll post it here...

Today I woke up with a headache...not hungover, just a headache, and it's because I'm OUT OF PRACTICE. I haven't really been out drinking since Octoberfest, and before that I can't even remember. I had a great ride in on the T listening to some great toons (see: recommended downloads) got into work and that's when the real fun began.

Step One: break the ice with the cute girl by reciting a funny story about my dogs.
Last night (a little drunk) I let the dogs out into the yard (11:00PM or so) and I didn't realize the gate was open...and I went to bed.
Phone call at 12:45AM "Hi, this is the MBTA, we have your dogs at Sullivan Square Station."
Are you kidding me? two six-inch high, ten pound dogs made it from Malden/Oak Grove to Sullivan Square? Aparently a kindly bus driver picked them up on Ferry Street and gave them a ride to the end of her route, then called my house.
It was a funny story, but cg did not respond. I even showed cute pictures of the dogs...nothing doing. THEN overheard phone conversation cg:"I know this is way in advance, but I wanted to know how many guest rooms I could reserve...because I booked my wedding reception there..."
AHA! I've cracked the case. cg is engaged. So there ends that little escapade.

Second: Jonathan started the morning with Pink Floyd instead of Opie&Anthony today, bless him, and due to the psychedelic nature of the music I have transcended the normal office morning stuff. And also I may still be drunk from last night, I can't tell.

recommended downloads:
Sugarcult, Hate Every Beautiful Day, and Counting Stars
Pink Floyd, Time, and Comfortably Numb

Holiday Bash

Well, the big news today is: Holiday Party! That's right, we here at wherever the hell it is I work have been invited out to a local liquor establishment to celebrate the holidays with good spirits and alcoholic spirits. I assume management thinks it's a good idea, a good morale boost, I think I would probably think that too, were I in a management role. There will be prizes and raffles, I'm hoping to score a new mousepad in the wet t-shirt contest, or maybe get lucky and win a pocket calculator.

Now, it's not that I don't want to attend this little fiesta, they have gone to all the trouble of reserving an entire bar for the group, but I've only been here two months. The only people who talk to me have cubicles adjacent to mine. I haven't said one word to anyone else on the floor except for responding to "I think the printer is out of toner" with "Yeah." so how much fun is this holiday party really going to be?

I don't quite know what to expect, but I've got some guesses
1. really really really really lame: I was kidding about the mousepad and pocket calculator before, but what if it's not a joke?

2. only a little lame: Arrive at 6:30, get a drink from the bar, stand around thinking "This beer cost me five bucks, I could have saved that money for coffee tomorrow." or "It might be nice to see some people who aren't thirty-seven and married with two kids here." or, what I think on a daily basis anyway "what am I doing here?"

3. really awesome (To be honest, I don't think this is too likely): None of the thirty-somethings show, the bar is populated by people my own age, who just started at the company, and nobody knows anybody, so everyone is talking to everyone else. The only difference between this and any college bar in Allston is we're not in Allston, and everyone's dressed business casual, because we just came from work.

There may be other possibilities, funny ones, dreadful ones, boring possibilities, but I don't want to let my mind wander too far, lest I be dissapointed (or right).

So, thoughts: Go to the party? Don't go to the party? ... Get smashed? Have a drink wait for the raffle, and leave? ... Throw caution to the wind, ask out all the girls at the party, even the attractive-but-older managers, and hope your anonymity keeps you safe tomorrow?

I just don't know.

recommended download: the Gummi Bears theme song

telling you what to think

I am singing Beautiful Dreamer to myself. As I sing, I am thinking about E.B. White's Trumpet of the Swan.

It is entirely possible my coworkers can hear me.

ADD

I've noticed I've stopped noticing cg. For example, today it has taken me until 2:16PM (approx 4.5hrs since arriving at work) to realize she's wearing the stupid blue fake hoodie thing (mentioned in Fashion Bug entry). Her importance to my day-to-day activities is dwindling, slowly but surely being replaced by killing time online and watching my outlook inbox for a personal message, rather than the mass mailing list cc memo updates that fly out to hundreds of thousands of employees every minute. So goodbye cg. Such is life.

and
recommended download: Jason Mraz, You And I Both

:-Þ

cough

I was under the impression that my cough is a hold-over from my recent run-in with the common cold virus. Aparently, it sounds much worse than that to other people.
I have been here at the office for about an hour and a half, and three separate people, none who had spoken to me to this point, interrupted a bout of coughing to offer me some cough drops or some water or the heimlich. One of the admin assistants by the bloomberg terminal said "no, really, I have cough drops, you can have one." as if first, she may have been teasing me with made-up cough drops, and second, she had real cough drops but doesn't just hand them out like candy to just anyone. I assured her I wasn't dying, did not have whooping cough, was not contagious, and could handle it on my own, thank you very much.

And it's not even that bad. Twice today -that's it, just two bouts of emphysema-like coughing fits, that happened to occur while other people were around. Otherwise I've been fine. Totally cool. Just thinking, yeah, it's from that cold I had over the weekend, and about paying my student loans. I think that's the true test of how serious this cough is...can it distract me from my imminent student loan payment? If so maybe I'll get a second opinion. But until then, I'm fine, thank you for offering cough drops, I'll work through it.

recommended download:
Green Day, Sasafrass Roots

-te