It's three o'clock. I'm trying to tie out the nightmare fund. I'd emailed our client and asked for their trade file for the month to double check it against ours. That was at noon.
At two o'clock he emailed the trade file to my manager, who forwarded it to me. It was for the wrong fund. I emailed him back asking for the correct fund. I'm still waiting.
This is the third email I've sent to the client directly that hasn't gotten a response. I'm starting to suspect that he has blocked all emails from my address. If that is the case it will be very difficult to work with him.
Communication, after all, is key to a successful relationship.
In other news I've been assigned a new fund. This brings my total up to three: The nightmare fund, which has never tied out; The easy fund, which sort of ties out sometimes, because I inherited a variance of $152.67, so to tie out I need to make my number exactly that much lower than the client's; and this new fund, which I was assigned on Monday, and have yet to receive any training on.
For those of you keeping track, that is
# of funds responsible for = 3
# of funds trained to process = 0
I am on a rocketship ride up the corporate ladder.
-t
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Material Concerns
Three days before I flew out to Los Angeles I dropped my iPod.
I had picked up my laptop, not realizing I had left the iPod sitting on top of it (the untold hazards of owning everything in "macintosh white"), and it crash jarringly to the floor.
It still worked, though. It was skipping over a few songs, but that's to be expected, the fall happened from five feet off the ground, how could the hard drive not be a little scratched up?
But I've had it for two years, and I hear most of these things die the week after the warranty's up, so I figured I was doing better than average.
I took it on the flight to L.A. without incident and forgot all about the drop because I was distracted by the incredibly loud whining of the jet engines. I resolved on the spot to purchase noise-cancelling headphones before my next flight.
When I got back home, a week later, I started thinking about the drop again. Thinking that the drop was probably the reason my iPod now refused to turn on. And boy does that suck.
I can't explain why it worked for six days to and from Los Angeles, why it chose to sound its death rattle the night I returned, but I'm just as happy to chalk it up to the drop. It's no longer important.
What's important now, is that I am without music on my morning commute. I figured I'd better get a pretty good book to read.
Luckily, I had one (The Worthing Saga, Orson Scott Card, I'd recommend it if you're a sci-fi fan). It's been doing remarkably well in distracting me from the train, fellow passengers, and the impending eight hours in the office. So well, in fact, that I nearly missed my stop, twice, this week.
Which brings me to the point of the entry: Moderation.
I had resolved to purchase noise cancelling headphones, and am compelled to purchase a new iPod.
So I decided to go all out. Bose Quietcomfort headphones for $300, a brand new 30GB iPod for $250, brand new, retail prices all around.
(are any of you bored yet? I don't have anywhere to go with this entry, go right ahead and skip to the end)
Thankfully, before I made either of those purchases I came to my senses.
I found a set of Sony headphones that retail for $150, and I found them even cheaper than that on ebay. Then I bought a brand new 1GB iPod shuffle, to save some money over the full size model.
Now I'm just waiting for everything to be shipped out. Hopefully I won't finish my book before then.
I'm only posting because I'm bored almost to tears at work. Congratulations if you made it this far.
-t
recommended downloads:
Lucky Boys Confusion, Broken, and Medicine and Gasoline
I had picked up my laptop, not realizing I had left the iPod sitting on top of it (the untold hazards of owning everything in "macintosh white"), and it crash jarringly to the floor.
It still worked, though. It was skipping over a few songs, but that's to be expected, the fall happened from five feet off the ground, how could the hard drive not be a little scratched up?
But I've had it for two years, and I hear most of these things die the week after the warranty's up, so I figured I was doing better than average.
I took it on the flight to L.A. without incident and forgot all about the drop because I was distracted by the incredibly loud whining of the jet engines. I resolved on the spot to purchase noise-cancelling headphones before my next flight.
When I got back home, a week later, I started thinking about the drop again. Thinking that the drop was probably the reason my iPod now refused to turn on. And boy does that suck.
I can't explain why it worked for six days to and from Los Angeles, why it chose to sound its death rattle the night I returned, but I'm just as happy to chalk it up to the drop. It's no longer important.
What's important now, is that I am without music on my morning commute. I figured I'd better get a pretty good book to read.
Luckily, I had one (The Worthing Saga, Orson Scott Card, I'd recommend it if you're a sci-fi fan). It's been doing remarkably well in distracting me from the train, fellow passengers, and the impending eight hours in the office. So well, in fact, that I nearly missed my stop, twice, this week.
Which brings me to the point of the entry: Moderation.
I had resolved to purchase noise cancelling headphones, and am compelled to purchase a new iPod.
So I decided to go all out. Bose Quietcomfort headphones for $300, a brand new 30GB iPod for $250, brand new, retail prices all around.
(are any of you bored yet? I don't have anywhere to go with this entry, go right ahead and skip to the end)
Thankfully, before I made either of those purchases I came to my senses.
I found a set of Sony headphones that retail for $150, and I found them even cheaper than that on ebay. Then I bought a brand new 1GB iPod shuffle, to save some money over the full size model.
Now I'm just waiting for everything to be shipped out. Hopefully I won't finish my book before then.
I'm only posting because I'm bored almost to tears at work. Congratulations if you made it this far.
-t
recommended downloads:
Lucky Boys Confusion, Broken, and Medicine and Gasoline
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
-- --- .-. ... . -.-. --- -.. .
I've decided to learn Morse Code. It will probably be useful if I'm ever stranded on an island somewhere like Tom Hanks in Castaway, or Brian in Hatchet... wait - learning to build a fire or catch my own food would probably be more useful in those situations.
Morse Code would be useful if I were Jack Ryan aboard the U.S.S. Dallas trying to communicate with the commander of a Russian nuclear submarine who wished to defect. And that could totally happen.
The trick to learning Morse Code, as originally described in the book Cheaper By The Dozen (great book, btw, totally hilarious), is to assign each Morse letter an English word wherein the stressed sylables in the word correspond a "dash" in Morse Code, and the unstressed sylables correspond to the "dots."
For example, the letter 'A' is represented with a "dot-dash" [ . -], and assigned the word "about" [a-BOUT]
Other nice examples are:
D [ - . . ] DAN-ger-ous
I [ . . ] aye-aye (ok, that doesn't really start with an 'i', tough)
O [ - - - ] OH-MY-GOD! (more than one word is ok)
Anyway. I've written out the Morse alphabet and tacked it up next to my computer. Now all I need is a telegraph machine to practice with.
-.-. .- ... -.-. .- -.. .. -. --. .-.. -.-- -.-- --- ..- .-. ... --..--
- --- --
(Cascadingly yours,
Tom)
Once I get this down I'm going to move on to Braille.
Morse Code would be useful if I were Jack Ryan aboard the U.S.S. Dallas trying to communicate with the commander of a Russian nuclear submarine who wished to defect. And that could totally happen.
The trick to learning Morse Code, as originally described in the book Cheaper By The Dozen (great book, btw, totally hilarious), is to assign each Morse letter an English word wherein the stressed sylables in the word correspond a "dash" in Morse Code, and the unstressed sylables correspond to the "dots."
For example, the letter 'A' is represented with a "dot-dash" [ . -], and assigned the word "about" [a-BOUT]
Other nice examples are:
D [ - . . ] DAN-ger-ous
I [ . . ] aye-aye (ok, that doesn't really start with an 'i', tough)
O [ - - - ] OH-MY-GOD! (more than one word is ok)
Anyway. I've written out the Morse alphabet and tacked it up next to my computer. Now all I need is a telegraph machine to practice with.
-.-. .- ... -.-. .- -.. .. -. --. .-.. -.-- -.-- --- ..- .-. ... --..--
- --- --
(Cascadingly yours,
Tom)
Once I get this down I'm going to move on to Braille.
Reason for Chat
One of the reasons I couldn't survive a workday without instant messaging:
Samantha: okay, i just read this sentence:
"In mid-October 2002, a nuclear analyst named Simon Dodge in the State Department's intelligence division was forwarded copies of documents purporting to outline a recent sale of 500 tons of yellowcake uranium—which can be enriched for use in nuclear weapons—from the impoverished African nation of Niger to Iraq."
and all i thought was "mmm.....yellow cake"
Samantha: okay, i just read this sentence:
"In mid-October 2002, a nuclear analyst named Simon Dodge in the State Department's intelligence division was forwarded copies of documents purporting to outline a recent sale of 500 tons of yellowcake uranium—which can be enriched for use in nuclear weapons—from the impoverished African nation of Niger to Iraq."
and all i thought was "mmm.....yellow cake"
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Ghost of a Blogger
I apologize for being incomunicado today. Google crashed.
Well, not exactly. I opened my internet explorer this morning, as I would any other morning, and tried to get in to gmail, so I could chat.
After a lengthly load time a "file not found" error came up. Had gmail been ... (dun, dun, dun) blocked?
My very next thought was to go immediately to blogger and rant and rave about being cut off from the instant messaging community. (Which is, after all, the thing that keeps me most sane during these trying hours among the workforce.)
But I couldn't! Blogger was also missing! I was furious!
How dare they take not only gmail, and with it my instant messaging abilities, but also blogger! I couldn't even rant to my faithful(ly bored) audience about the injustice of it all! Quick! Distract yourself with the blog updates in your RSS reader!
FILE NOT FOUND! I was cut off!!
Forced to sit and navigate blogs the old-fashioned way, remembering URLs and clicking hyperlinks! A wandering spirit floating on the peripheral of blogingdom, only able to read posts, and not participate by writing any, barely able to let my presence be known by commenting. . .
I CAN'T COMMENT EITHER?!
No, ladies and gentlemen, any and all google applications, sites, servers, etc, that required a Google account and password were gone! Struck from the web as if they'd never existed!
Nothingness
But, as you can plainly see, I'm back. Rumor has it there was some stickiness between our pal Google, that monster of the interweb, and Comcast, that local tste fly of the ISPs, which had caused the blackout.
But it's fixed. So I'm back. I hope none of you worried. Thirty-six hours without a post is a bit unlike me, but everything's k.o. now.
-t
Well, not exactly. I opened my internet explorer this morning, as I would any other morning, and tried to get in to gmail, so I could chat.
After a lengthly load time a "file not found" error came up. Had gmail been ... (dun, dun, dun) blocked?
My very next thought was to go immediately to blogger and rant and rave about being cut off from the instant messaging community. (Which is, after all, the thing that keeps me most sane during these trying hours among the workforce.)
But I couldn't! Blogger was also missing! I was furious!
How dare they take not only gmail, and with it my instant messaging abilities, but also blogger! I couldn't even rant to my faithful(ly bored) audience about the injustice of it all! Quick! Distract yourself with the blog updates in your RSS reader!
FILE NOT FOUND! I was cut off!!
Forced to sit and navigate blogs the old-fashioned way, remembering URLs and clicking hyperlinks! A wandering spirit floating on the peripheral of blogingdom, only able to read posts, and not participate by writing any, barely able to let my presence be known by commenting. . .
I CAN'T COMMENT EITHER?!
No, ladies and gentlemen, any and all google applications, sites, servers, etc, that required a Google account and password were gone! Struck from the web as if they'd never existed!
Nothingness
But, as you can plainly see, I'm back. Rumor has it there was some stickiness between our pal Google, that monster of the interweb, and Comcast, that local tste fly of the ISPs, which had caused the blackout.
But it's fixed. So I'm back. I hope none of you worried. Thirty-six hours without a post is a bit unlike me, but everything's k.o. now.
-t
Monday, September 25, 2006
Contact
It's going on three days with no contact from my manager. This would be ok if things were going well. But things aren't going well, and he knows it, and yet, he doesn't even check in.
He stops by Eddy's desk everyday. Eddy and I sit back-to-back across the aisle. All my lazy manager would have to do is simply turn around. But he doesn't.
Oh, here he comes!... He walked right by. He's talking to Pete about the football pool. "Where am I supposed to send the check?"
I don't get it! Is there a theory that explains his actions? Why doesn't he check in?
1. Too busy - Clearly not, if he has time to check in with Eddy and to chat about football.
2. I'm wearing an ugly shirt and he can't bear to look at me - Nope. First, my shirt isn't ugly, and second, even if it were he could send me an email. Which would take less time, and he wouldn't even have to get up!
3. He hates me - Come on. Seriously? I'm a likeable guy. That's not it.
4. ?
Any theories, readers?
-t
Update: I've just received an email from my manager. This is the first contact in twenty-seven hours. (an email Wednesday at 10AM, nothing Thursday, Friday, Monday until an email at 3 PM)
It reads:
Tom,
Bob and Michael are meeting at my desk at 4 to discuss some fund changes. Can you swing by my desk at 4pm today so we can all go over everything? It should only take a minute or 2
Thanks
Lazy Manager
FYI: Bob is the lazy insolent guy in my group, and I've never heard of Michael before. This should be an interesting two minute meeting.
He stops by Eddy's desk everyday. Eddy and I sit back-to-back across the aisle. All my lazy manager would have to do is simply turn around. But he doesn't.
Oh, here he comes!... He walked right by. He's talking to Pete about the football pool. "Where am I supposed to send the check?"
I don't get it! Is there a theory that explains his actions? Why doesn't he check in?
1. Too busy - Clearly not, if he has time to check in with Eddy and to chat about football.
2. I'm wearing an ugly shirt and he can't bear to look at me - Nope. First, my shirt isn't ugly, and second, even if it were he could send me an email. Which would take less time, and he wouldn't even have to get up!
3. He hates me - Come on. Seriously? I'm a likeable guy. That's not it.
4. ?
Any theories, readers?
-t
Update: I've just received an email from my manager. This is the first contact in twenty-seven hours. (an email Wednesday at 10AM, nothing Thursday, Friday, Monday until an email at 3 PM)
It reads:
Tom,
Bob and Michael are meeting at my desk at 4 to discuss some fund changes. Can you swing by my desk at 4pm today so we can all go over everything? It should only take a minute or 2
Thanks
Lazy Manager
FYI: Bob is the lazy insolent guy in my group, and I've never heard of Michael before. This should be an interesting two minute meeting.
Don't buy the $5 Ipod
I've been looking on ebay for a new Ipod (iPod?), and last night I found a brand new 1GB Ipod Nano Buy It Now for $5.00!
And I thought to myself, "This has got to be a scam."
On the other hand, what if it's not a scam? What if there is some poor foreign ebay seller who would gladly part for an mp3 player in exchange for five of the Mighty U.S. Dollars? (Right, because exchange rates are so favoring the dollar right now.) Or maybe some moron typed in $5.00 instead of $50.00, or maybe this is part of a shipment that fell off a truck. Or maybe it's a clever front for funding terrorist operations.
But, at five bucks, can I afford to not take the shot at a brand new iPod for 96% off? It's only five bucks!
Well, turns out, it is a scam. I received this email today:
Gentile Thomas,
questo è un avviso del team Regolamento e Sicurezza di eBay relativo a:
numero oggetto - 260034868881
titolo dell'oggetto - IPOD NANO 1GB
Dalle informazioni in nostro possesso risulta che hai fatto offerte o ti sei aggiudicato l’oggetto messo in vendita nell’inserzione sopra indicata. Ti informiamo che abbiamo recentemente chiuso tutte le inserzioni di questo venditore e limitato la sua capacità di utilizzare i servizi di eBay. Per motivi di privacy, non possiamo fornire ulteriori informazioni.
Se ricevi un’email in cui qualcuno sostiene di essere il venditore e ti chiede di concludere la transazione al di fuori di eBay, ti consigliamo vivamente di ignorare la richiesta perché ti esporresti al rischio di frodi e non saresti coperto dal Programma di protezione acquirenti di eBay.
Se non hai ancora inviato il pagamento al venditore, ti raccomandiamo di non concludere la transazione.
Se hai già pagato e vuoi provare a recuperare l'importo, ti consigliamo di:
- chiedere il rimborso al venditore;
- se hai pagato con assegno, chiedere alla tua banca di sospendere il pagamento;
- se hai pagato con carta di credito, contattare il reparto di sicurezza della banca che l'ha emessa e chiedere di bloccare il pagamento;
- se hai effettuato il pagamento tramite vaglia o bonifico bancario, contattare al più presto la banca e chiedere di annullarlo;
- se hai effettuato il pagamento con un servizio trasferimento fondi come Western Union o Moneygram, contattare la società che ha effettuato il servizio;
- se hai pagato con PayPal, presentare un reclamo dalla pagina:
https://www.paypal.com/it/bcp
- se hai pagato con un metodo di pagamento accettato da eBay, presentare un reclamo al Programma di protezione degli acquirenti di eBay dalla pagina
http://pages.ebay.it/help/confidence/items-fraud.html
Nello Spazio Sicurezza di eBay puoi trovare diversi suggerimenti su come effettuare transazioni in modo sicuro:
/csg/p?sicurezza.ebay.it/index.html
Se avessi bisogno di ulteriori chiarimenti, ti invitiamo a contattarci rispondendo direttamente a quest’email.
Cordiali saluti,
Assistenza clienti (Regolamento e Sicurezza)
eBay Inc
for those readers who don't speak Italian, this is what Google Translator gave me:
Kind Thomas,
this is an warning of the team Regulations and Emergency of eBay relative to:
number object - 260034868881
tito it of object - IPOD DWARF 1GB
From the information in our possession she turns out that you have made offered or you six adjudicated the object put in sale in the indicated insertion over. We inform to you that recently we have closed all the insertions of this vendor and limited its ability to use the services of eBay. For reasons of privacy, we cannot supply ulterior information.
If you receive an email in which someone it supports of being the vendor and it asks you to conclude the transaction to outside of eBay, we lively advise you to ignore the demand because you would expose yourself to the risk of swindles and you would not be covered from the Program of protection purchasers of eBay.
If you have not still sended the payment to the vendor, we recommend you not to conclude the transaction.
If you have already paid and you want to try to recover the amount, we advise you of:
- to ask the reimbursement the vendor;
- if you have paid with check, to ask your bank suspend payment;
- if you have paid with credit card, to contact the unit of emergency of the bank that has emitted it and to ask to block the payment;
- if you have carried out the payment through money order or banking discount, to contact to the more soon bank and to ask to cancel it;
- if you have carried out the payment with a service transfer deep like Western Union or Moneygram, to contact the society that has carried out the service;
- if you have paid with PayPal, to introduce a claim from the page: https://www.paypal.com/it/bcp
- if you have paid with a form of payment accepted from eBay, to introduce a claim to the Program of protection of the purchasers of eBay from the page http://pages.ebay.it/help/confidence/items-fraud.html
In Spazio Emergency of eBay you can find various suggestions on like carrying out transactions in sure way: /csg/p? sicurezza.ebay.it/index.html
If you had need of ulterior clarifications, we invite to you to contact itself answering directly to this email.
Sincerely yours,
Attendance customers (Regulations and Emergency)
eBay Inc.
But it was worth the shot, right?
-t
And I thought to myself, "This has got to be a scam."
On the other hand, what if it's not a scam? What if there is some poor foreign ebay seller who would gladly part for an mp3 player in exchange for five of the Mighty U.S. Dollars? (Right, because exchange rates are so favoring the dollar right now.) Or maybe some moron typed in $5.00 instead of $50.00, or maybe this is part of a shipment that fell off a truck. Or maybe it's a clever front for funding terrorist operations.
But, at five bucks, can I afford to not take the shot at a brand new iPod for 96% off? It's only five bucks!
Well, turns out, it is a scam. I received this email today:
Gentile Thomas,
questo è un avviso del team Regolamento e Sicurezza di eBay relativo a:
numero oggetto - 260034868881
titolo dell'oggetto - IPOD NANO 1GB
Dalle informazioni in nostro possesso risulta che hai fatto offerte o ti sei aggiudicato l’oggetto messo in vendita nell’inserzione sopra indicata. Ti informiamo che abbiamo recentemente chiuso tutte le inserzioni di questo venditore e limitato la sua capacità di utilizzare i servizi di eBay. Per motivi di privacy, non possiamo fornire ulteriori informazioni.
Se ricevi un’email in cui qualcuno sostiene di essere il venditore e ti chiede di concludere la transazione al di fuori di eBay, ti consigliamo vivamente di ignorare la richiesta perché ti esporresti al rischio di frodi e non saresti coperto dal Programma di protezione acquirenti di eBay.
Se non hai ancora inviato il pagamento al venditore, ti raccomandiamo di non concludere la transazione.
Se hai già pagato e vuoi provare a recuperare l'importo, ti consigliamo di:
- chiedere il rimborso al venditore;
- se hai pagato con assegno, chiedere alla tua banca di sospendere il pagamento;
- se hai pagato con carta di credito, contattare il reparto di sicurezza della banca che l'ha emessa e chiedere di bloccare il pagamento;
- se hai effettuato il pagamento tramite vaglia o bonifico bancario, contattare al più presto la banca e chiedere di annullarlo;
- se hai effettuato il pagamento con un servizio trasferimento fondi come Western Union o Moneygram, contattare la società che ha effettuato il servizio;
- se hai pagato con PayPal, presentare un reclamo dalla pagina:
https://www.paypal.com/it/bcp
- se hai pagato con un metodo di pagamento accettato da eBay, presentare un reclamo al Programma di protezione degli acquirenti di eBay dalla pagina
http://pages.ebay.it/help/confidence/items-fraud.html
Nello Spazio Sicurezza di eBay puoi trovare diversi suggerimenti su come effettuare transazioni in modo sicuro:
/csg/p?sicurezza.ebay.it/index.html
Se avessi bisogno di ulteriori chiarimenti, ti invitiamo a contattarci rispondendo direttamente a quest’email.
Cordiali saluti,
Assistenza clienti (Regolamento e Sicurezza)
eBay Inc
for those readers who don't speak Italian, this is what Google Translator gave me:
Kind Thomas,
this is an warning of the team Regulations and Emergency of eBay relative to:
number object - 260034868881
tito it of object - IPOD DWARF 1GB
From the information in our possession she turns out that you have made offered or you six adjudicated the object put in sale in the indicated insertion over. We inform to you that recently we have closed all the insertions of this vendor and limited its ability to use the services of eBay. For reasons of privacy, we cannot supply ulterior information.
If you receive an email in which someone it supports of being the vendor and it asks you to conclude the transaction to outside of eBay, we lively advise you to ignore the demand because you would expose yourself to the risk of swindles and you would not be covered from the Program of protection purchasers of eBay.
If you have not still sended the payment to the vendor, we recommend you not to conclude the transaction.
If you have already paid and you want to try to recover the amount, we advise you of:
- to ask the reimbursement the vendor;
- if you have paid with check, to ask your bank suspend payment;
- if you have paid with credit card, to contact the unit of emergency of the bank that has emitted it and to ask to block the payment;
- if you have carried out the payment through money order or banking discount, to contact to the more soon bank and to ask to cancel it;
- if you have carried out the payment with a service transfer deep like Western Union or Moneygram, to contact the society that has carried out the service;
- if you have paid with PayPal, to introduce a claim from the page: https://www.paypal.com/it/bcp
- if you have paid with a form of payment accepted from eBay, to introduce a claim to the Program of protection of the purchasers of eBay from the page http://pages.ebay.it/help/confidence/items-fraud.html
In Spazio Emergency of eBay you can find various suggestions on like carrying out transactions in sure way: /csg/p? sicurezza.ebay.it/index.html
If you had need of ulterior clarifications, we invite to you to contact itself answering directly to this email.
Sincerely yours,
Attendance customers (Regulations and Emergency)
eBay Inc.
But it was worth the shot, right?
-t
"Tom Brady sucks"
That is care of Curtis, a Philadelphia Eagles fan. That's how I started my day, ten minutes ago. Curtis sits in the first desk. I walked through the door to my office, right into the middle of a football discussion. Curtis and four Patriots fans. "Tom Brady sucks, he's just an awful, awful quarterback."
If there were ever a day I wanted my iPod, it would be today. Or any other day before noon.
I walked all the way over to my desk, Curtis still within hearing range, and as I sat down I hear "So, both our teams suck, huh?" from the other side of the cubicle. That's coming from Martin, our resident Buffalo Bills fan.
I don't hate football. Mostly, though, I hate talking about football, this "Monday morning quarterbacking." Hate it.
Football doesn't have the elegance of baseball, doesn't have the strategic nuances. And, as much as I appreciate and enjoy talking about baseball, I hate doing that on Monday mornings too.
I should have my own office, so I come in, and shut my door, and work in isolation in the morning. This cubeville location doesn't work for me. I'm too close to other people.
-t
If there were ever a day I wanted my iPod, it would be today. Or any other day before noon.
I walked all the way over to my desk, Curtis still within hearing range, and as I sat down I hear "So, both our teams suck, huh?" from the other side of the cubicle. That's coming from Martin, our resident Buffalo Bills fan.
I don't hate football. Mostly, though, I hate talking about football, this "Monday morning quarterbacking." Hate it.
Football doesn't have the elegance of baseball, doesn't have the strategic nuances. And, as much as I appreciate and enjoy talking about baseball, I hate doing that on Monday mornings too.
I should have my own office, so I come in, and shut my door, and work in isolation in the morning. This cubeville location doesn't work for me. I'm too close to other people.
-t
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Nightmare of nightmares
Ok, third post today, woo! Be sure to read the other two. They're so good they've got comments! Both of them!
Back to the nightmare:
(Skip the section in brackets if you are either (a) familiar with the history of my nightmare fund, or (b) if you are Adina.)
[We got a new fund. My Senior Manager said he'd handle everything and train people. He didn't, then he quit.
I, somehow, got stuck with the fund. Me, the guy who doesn't know how to do anything (true. not hyperbole, actual truth.) My lazy manager did not review/check-in/email me to help train/note my (lack of) progress/as a resource.
Not knowing how to do anything, I did nothing.
Initial report deadline sailed past.
Lazy manager then came over and took the fund off my desk. It is a big ugly umbrella fund. He left me a small piece of it.
Lazy manager moaned and groaned and finished the reporting two weeks late. I'm glad someone knows how to do it, even late.]
The lazy manager sent two copies of the reporting yesterday, one to the legal team to be reviewed, and one to the client. Please note he CCed me on none of the emails.
He took today (Thursday) and tomorrow (Friday) off.
This morning I got this series of email:
From: Legaldept@Tomscompany.com
To: Client
Good afternoon,
Please approve the attached the Fund for August 2006 Monthly statements. Once approved I will forward to the investors. Thank you very much.
-Legal team representative
From:Client
To:Legal team
Hi Legal team rep,
The year-to-date returns on all of the statements do not match the linked returns spreadsheet that your Manager prepared. Can you please confirm that you have the correct information? Otherwise the statements appear correct and in order.
Thank you,
-Client
From:Legal
To:LazyManager
Hi Manager,
Please confirm the YTD returns. The YTD returns on the file you sent to us match the statements. Did you send the client different numbers? Please confirm. Thanks.
-Legal
...
From:Legal
To:Tom (me) and Vice President of the Division
Hi VP or Tom,
Please look into this issue. Your Lazy Manager is apparently not in the office. We have checked the year to date returns based on the file he provided to Legal. The client has different figures (see email thread).
Thanks
-Legal
WTF?!
My Lazy-ass Manager not only takes the fund after the deadline has passed, fails to include me, the primary (albeit unwitting) contact on the fund, but sends different figures to the client and legal, AND THEN SKIPS OUT FOR A FOUR DAY WEEKEND.
Leaving me, and the VICE-FUCKING-PRESIDENT holding the bag.
So who's fault is it when I can't answer any questions the VP has? Is it my fault for NEVER GETTING TRAINED TO DO THE JOB THEY HIRED ME FOR!? IS IT?
GARARHGH!
-t
Back to the nightmare:
(Skip the section in brackets if you are either (a) familiar with the history of my nightmare fund, or (b) if you are Adina.)
[We got a new fund. My Senior Manager said he'd handle everything and train people. He didn't, then he quit.
I, somehow, got stuck with the fund. Me, the guy who doesn't know how to do anything (true. not hyperbole, actual truth.) My lazy manager did not review/check-in/email me to help train/note my (lack of) progress/as a resource.
Not knowing how to do anything, I did nothing.
Initial report deadline sailed past.
Lazy manager then came over and took the fund off my desk. It is a big ugly umbrella fund. He left me a small piece of it.
Lazy manager moaned and groaned and finished the reporting two weeks late. I'm glad someone knows how to do it, even late.]
The lazy manager sent two copies of the reporting yesterday, one to the legal team to be reviewed, and one to the client. Please note he CCed me on none of the emails.
He took today (Thursday) and tomorrow (Friday) off.
This morning I got this series of email:
From: Legaldept@Tomscompany.com
To: Client
Good afternoon,
Please approve the attached the Fund for August 2006 Monthly statements. Once approved I will forward to the investors. Thank you very much.
-Legal team representative
From:Client
To:Legal team
Hi Legal team rep,
The year-to-date returns on all of the statements do not match the linked returns spreadsheet that your Manager prepared. Can you please confirm that you have the correct information? Otherwise the statements appear correct and in order.
Thank you,
-Client
From:Legal
To:LazyManager
Hi Manager,
Please confirm the YTD returns. The YTD returns on the file you sent to us match the statements. Did you send the client different numbers? Please confirm. Thanks.
-Legal
...
From:Legal
To:Tom (me) and Vice President of the Division
Hi VP or Tom,
Please look into this issue. Your Lazy Manager is apparently not in the office. We have checked the year to date returns based on the file he provided to Legal. The client has different figures (see email thread).
Thanks
-Legal
WTF?!
My Lazy-ass Manager not only takes the fund after the deadline has passed, fails to include me, the primary (albeit unwitting) contact on the fund, but sends different figures to the client and legal, AND THEN SKIPS OUT FOR A FOUR DAY WEEKEND.
Leaving me, and the VICE-FUCKING-PRESIDENT holding the bag.
So who's fault is it when I can't answer any questions the VP has? Is it my fault for NEVER GETTING TRAINED TO DO THE JOB THEY HIRED ME FOR!? IS IT?
GARARHGH!
-t
Blogging, from the Hub of the universe
I just signed up for the first annual(?) extremely cool(?) Boston Bloggers Convetion, or, Boston Bloggers Conference, alternately, Blogtoberfest, or, perhaps, BLOG!, or BBC, or whatever.
So, any of you other Boston bloggers who didn't get an invite, consider this yours.
The real reason I'm writing, however, is the fault of upcoming.com. Jenny, who was forced into coordinating this thing, set up a registration function over at upcoming, which you need to sign up for in order to use.
No big deal, it took ten seconds.
I'm writing because this is the email I got in response:
You see who it's from? ROBOT. How cool is that!? They have robots that email now! I feel like dancing.
I wish it had occurred to me to use "robot" as my gmail username. Who doesn't love robots?
-t
ps: bonus points to anyone who reflexively broke into the chorus of Leo Sayer's I Feel Like Dancing the second they read that line.
So, any of you other Boston bloggers who didn't get an invite, consider this yours.
The real reason I'm writing, however, is the fault of upcoming.com. Jenny, who was forced into coordinating this thing, set up a registration function over at upcoming, which you need to sign up for in order to use.
No big deal, it took ten seconds.
I'm writing because this is the email I got in response:
You see who it's from? ROBOT. How cool is that!? They have robots that email now! I feel like dancing.
I wish it had occurred to me to use "robot" as my gmail username. Who doesn't love robots?
-t
ps: bonus points to anyone who reflexively broke into the chorus of Leo Sayer's I Feel Like Dancing the second they read that line.
Stretching a dollar
Help. What happens when you simply have to buy a set of Bose Quiet Comfort 2 Noise Cancelling headphones in order to prevent aural damage due to frequent air travel for approximately $*299.99 (on ebay for about $250? I hope?), the brand new Nintendo Wii Revolution, with a release date of November 18, 2006, for approximately $250.00, and a brand new 30GB iPod from Apple.com for about $250.00, because my two-year old 20GB iPod just died an awful agonizing critical death, which I don't want to talk about anymore, thank you...
and you only have $250.00 to spend?
No, I'm serious. That's not a rhetorical question. Any idea where I can find Bose headphones for below retail? A deal on the Revolution? An iPod that works?
Oh, also, I need to spend at least a little of that $250.00 in order to eat.
I can stretch money, if I've got some lying around, but 250 into 800 might be beyond my capacity.
Also, is there anyone out there good enough to convince me that spending a month's rent on frivolities is not the way to go? I probably need that talk right about now. Because I've got a couple Bose auctions that are about to end...
-t
* all currency, John this is for your benefit, is in USD. (post script - I added the asterisk in order to use an anchor tag, which I just learned to do. bam.)
and you only have $250.00 to spend?
No, I'm serious. That's not a rhetorical question. Any idea where I can find Bose headphones for below retail? A deal on the Revolution? An iPod that works?
Oh, also, I need to spend at least a little of that $250.00 in order to eat.
I can stretch money, if I've got some lying around, but 250 into 800 might be beyond my capacity.
Also, is there anyone out there good enough to convince me that spending a month's rent on frivolities is not the way to go? I probably need that talk right about now. Because I've got a couple Bose auctions that are about to end...
-t
* all currency, John this is for your benefit, is in USD. (post script - I added the asterisk in order to use an anchor tag, which I just learned to do. bam.)
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
West Coast Players
I am back. I have returned from the mighty Pacific. I have returned poorer, but wiser, richer in knowledge, and humbler in spirit. I had seen one ocean, and been called alive, now I have seen two oceans, and truly am.
I took four pictures with my phone camera, and one video. When I learn how to post those to blogger I will submit a photo/video essay here. In the meantime, I'd like to tell you what I've been up to this past week:
Day One, Tuesday last, 5:15 PM
My lazy manager boss asked me to postpone my vacation in order to stay and help out with the monthly reporting. His words: "So...are you, going anywhere, tomorrow?"
Day Two, 5:30 AM
I wake up, quickly throw some clothes in a suitcase and ride to the airport for my flight. I arrive ridiculously early, luckily, Dunkin' Donuts is open.
My flight from Boston to Los Angeles is long, but uneventful. I am squeezed into the smallest coach seat I have ever paid for. The inflight movie is some crappy Lindsay Lohan movie about luck. I read Neil Gaiman's American Gods for the duration of the flight.
I arrive in Los Angeles ten minutes prior to Donny. I call Raymond, who we are visiting, and Donny. I retreive my suitcase from baggage claim, Raymond retreives Donaldo and myself.
We stop at In & Out burger. I had a double-double something with fries. It was pretty good.
We make a quick stop to check out Ray's gun collection. I learn how to clear a revolver. Donny takes photos. Then we drive to Vegas.
We arrive in Vegas, check in to our hotel (the MGM), and then wander The Strip. I lose some money on video poker and slots. I spend at least half an hour at the Star Wars slot machine. I could play that all week.
Day Two/Day Three
Assorted gambling (slots, video poker, three card poker, craps), drinking (Jack & Coke, bloody mary, margaritas, banana flavored drinks, beer), and eating (three buffets, crepes, nachos, burgers). The days blend together. There is no day or night. Donny wins big on Wheel of Fortune slots, and pays for the buffet.
Day Three, 2 PM
We leave Vegas. On the road Ray and I play Simpsons Trivia. Ray wins. Donny sleeps. We call Cory, and Donny and I plan to meet up with him that night.
Cory meets us at Ray's apartment. We drive to Malibu and have dinner. The Pacific Ocean is gorgeous. The food is also quite good.
We drive to Cory's apartment, Ray meets us there. We play spades, and watch Super Troopers until the wee hours of the morning. We resolve to go to a Dodgers game.
Day Four 11 AM
Ray drives to El Taurino and we eat burritos. They are spicy and delicious.
We meet Cory and drive to the Getty Museum. We listen to the architectural tour explain that the dimensions and proportions used in the design are either "30, a multiple of 30, or a part of 30."
The three of us with math degress remark that any number less than 30 is "part of 30," and that 30 just happens to have possibly the widest array of convinient factors (including 1,2,3,5, and 6).
We eat Korean barbecue. Ray shows us the ropes. The food is delicious.
We go to the Dodgers game. I try, in vain, to purchase a Dodgers cap as a souvenir. The Dodgers give up three runs in the first, eight runs in the third, and lose the game 11-2, and first place in the NL West, to the Padres.
Day Five 10:30 AM
Donny and I hang out at Cory's apartment. We visit a farmer's market, eat some really great Mexican food at a local resturant, and watch football.
Donny gets a haircut.
Later, Ray picks us up and we head to Santa Monica.
We walk down the Santa Monica pier and out onto the beach. I stand in the Pacific Ocean. The West Coast is incredible, and spectacular. We enjoy the beach.
We walk up off the beach to find dinner. We also find an elderly Mexican man performing "Achy-breaky Heart" in monotone with a Casio beat under it. He also dances. Donny records a short video.
Ray and Donny try vibrating chairs at Brookstone. Then we eat dinner. The old man changes songs, now he is singing "Guantanamero." Ray asks the waitress where she is from, she says "Brazil." Donny asks if the Mexican street performer appears often. The Brazilian waitress beleagurdly says "every Saturday and Sunday." Donny giggles uncontrolably when the man switches back to "Achy-breaky Heart."
We return to Ray's apartment and watch The Simpsons and Anchorman. We retire.
Day Six, 10 AM
We wake, shower, and head to the airport. We say our goodbyes and enter our respective terminals. Ray drives departs, and so do we.
I arrive in Boston at 9:30 PM, my sister picks me up at the airport. I get home, reheat some Chinese food, realize I'm exhausted, and try to sleep.
I watch Garden State, then lie awake until 3:30 AM.
Day Seven, today, 7:45 AM
I wake up, tired. I shower, get dressed, go to work.
I delete a week's worth of email. I stare at my computer.
The lazy manager tells me to have cash tied out by Friday. I think that will be relatively easy, so I go out for coffee, and write a blog post.
-t
I took four pictures with my phone camera, and one video. When I learn how to post those to blogger I will submit a photo/video essay here. In the meantime, I'd like to tell you what I've been up to this past week:
Day One, Tuesday last, 5:15 PM
My lazy manager boss asked me to postpone my vacation in order to stay and help out with the monthly reporting. His words: "So...are you, going anywhere, tomorrow?"
Day Two, 5:30 AM
I wake up, quickly throw some clothes in a suitcase and ride to the airport for my flight. I arrive ridiculously early, luckily, Dunkin' Donuts is open.
My flight from Boston to Los Angeles is long, but uneventful. I am squeezed into the smallest coach seat I have ever paid for. The inflight movie is some crappy Lindsay Lohan movie about luck. I read Neil Gaiman's American Gods for the duration of the flight.
I arrive in Los Angeles ten minutes prior to Donny. I call Raymond, who we are visiting, and Donny. I retreive my suitcase from baggage claim, Raymond retreives Donaldo and myself.
We stop at In & Out burger. I had a double-double something with fries. It was pretty good.
We make a quick stop to check out Ray's gun collection. I learn how to clear a revolver. Donny takes photos. Then we drive to Vegas.
We arrive in Vegas, check in to our hotel (the MGM), and then wander The Strip. I lose some money on video poker and slots. I spend at least half an hour at the Star Wars slot machine. I could play that all week.
Day Two/Day Three
Assorted gambling (slots, video poker, three card poker, craps), drinking (Jack & Coke, bloody mary, margaritas, banana flavored drinks, beer), and eating (three buffets, crepes, nachos, burgers). The days blend together. There is no day or night. Donny wins big on Wheel of Fortune slots, and pays for the buffet.
Day Three, 2 PM
We leave Vegas. On the road Ray and I play Simpsons Trivia. Ray wins. Donny sleeps. We call Cory, and Donny and I plan to meet up with him that night.
Cory meets us at Ray's apartment. We drive to Malibu and have dinner. The Pacific Ocean is gorgeous. The food is also quite good.
We drive to Cory's apartment, Ray meets us there. We play spades, and watch Super Troopers until the wee hours of the morning. We resolve to go to a Dodgers game.
Day Four 11 AM
Ray drives to El Taurino and we eat burritos. They are spicy and delicious.
We meet Cory and drive to the Getty Museum. We listen to the architectural tour explain that the dimensions and proportions used in the design are either "30, a multiple of 30, or a part of 30."
The three of us with math degress remark that any number less than 30 is "part of 30," and that 30 just happens to have possibly the widest array of convinient factors (including 1,2,3,5, and 6).
We eat Korean barbecue. Ray shows us the ropes. The food is delicious.
We go to the Dodgers game. I try, in vain, to purchase a Dodgers cap as a souvenir. The Dodgers give up three runs in the first, eight runs in the third, and lose the game 11-2, and first place in the NL West, to the Padres.
Day Five 10:30 AM
Donny and I hang out at Cory's apartment. We visit a farmer's market, eat some really great Mexican food at a local resturant, and watch football.
Donny gets a haircut.
Later, Ray picks us up and we head to Santa Monica.
We walk down the Santa Monica pier and out onto the beach. I stand in the Pacific Ocean. The West Coast is incredible, and spectacular. We enjoy the beach.
We walk up off the beach to find dinner. We also find an elderly Mexican man performing "Achy-breaky Heart" in monotone with a Casio beat under it. He also dances. Donny records a short video.
Ray and Donny try vibrating chairs at Brookstone. Then we eat dinner. The old man changes songs, now he is singing "Guantanamero." Ray asks the waitress where she is from, she says "Brazil." Donny asks if the Mexican street performer appears often. The Brazilian waitress beleagurdly says "every Saturday and Sunday." Donny giggles uncontrolably when the man switches back to "Achy-breaky Heart."
We return to Ray's apartment and watch The Simpsons and Anchorman. We retire.
Day Six, 10 AM
We wake, shower, and head to the airport. We say our goodbyes and enter our respective terminals. Ray drives departs, and so do we.
I arrive in Boston at 9:30 PM, my sister picks me up at the airport. I get home, reheat some Chinese food, realize I'm exhausted, and try to sleep.
I watch Garden State, then lie awake until 3:30 AM.
Day Seven, today, 7:45 AM
I wake up, tired. I shower, get dressed, go to work.
I delete a week's worth of email. I stare at my computer.
The lazy manager tells me to have cash tied out by Friday. I think that will be relatively easy, so I go out for coffee, and write a blog post.
-t
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
You know how you watch something as a kid and love it, then rewatch it later and it's like, a little stupid? No way is the cartoon as bad as the movie
Ok, if you do get bored... Any thoughts on the destruction of favorite childhood icons in the popular media of today?
as stated in this review of the leaked Transformers script?
as stated in this review of the leaked Transformers script?
"YES." he replied emphatically
"Are you going anywhere tomorrow?" my manager asked me just a few minutes ago.
He asked because he wants me to cancel my vacation time and work on this fund. This nightmare of a fund.
So this post is going to serve two purposes.
(1) To inform you, the reader, that I am heading out tomorrow AM to sunny California. I will return Tuesday, please don't expect any posts until then.
and
(2) To inform you, the reader, that under no circumstances would I have replied "No" to my managers question, knowing, as I did, what his motivation for asking was. Yes, I'm going somewhere tomorrow. I'm going Away. And not just any Away, either, I'm going to the furthest possible Away that's still within the borders of the continental united states. Los Angeles.
There is no way I want to work on this fund. I was not hired to figure this stuff out. I was hired learn this stuff. That has still not happened. In the meantime I will not give up scheduled vacation time in order to be miserable.
I care too much about getting things right, about correctness. I find that when things aren't correct, or when I am not giving 100% I get a little stressed. The stress tends to get locked up in my back and neck muscles. It's unpleasant.
Therefore, I resolve to find a new job where I can give 100%. I think I will start by posting a brand new resume on monster.com. Instead of "fund accountant, two years experience" I think I'll go with "voice talent, boston area" and see what happens.
Incidentally, do any of you have any poetry you would like me to recite at a public gathering? Wedding, wake, birthday party?
For a small fee, of course.
-tgme
P.S. Sorry, I got a little distracted in the middle of writing this post. It's incoherent, I know. If you find yourselves devoid of content this week, anticipating my return, you could try your hand at editing, or just send me a friendly email with some tips on straightening this post out.
Speaking of straightening out, I really would like to go into greater length describing the causes, symptoms, and remedies to this stress I carry, but think that that should be a whole post.
So, yes, I'm going somewhere tomorrow. I wish I were staying there.
-t
He asked because he wants me to cancel my vacation time and work on this fund. This nightmare of a fund.
So this post is going to serve two purposes.
(1) To inform you, the reader, that I am heading out tomorrow AM to sunny California. I will return Tuesday, please don't expect any posts until then.
and
(2) To inform you, the reader, that under no circumstances would I have replied "No" to my managers question, knowing, as I did, what his motivation for asking was. Yes, I'm going somewhere tomorrow. I'm going Away. And not just any Away, either, I'm going to the furthest possible Away that's still within the borders of the continental united states. Los Angeles.
There is no way I want to work on this fund. I was not hired to figure this stuff out. I was hired learn this stuff. That has still not happened. In the meantime I will not give up scheduled vacation time in order to be miserable.
I care too much about getting things right, about correctness. I find that when things aren't correct, or when I am not giving 100% I get a little stressed. The stress tends to get locked up in my back and neck muscles. It's unpleasant.
Therefore, I resolve to find a new job where I can give 100%. I think I will start by posting a brand new resume on monster.com. Instead of "fund accountant, two years experience" I think I'll go with "voice talent, boston area" and see what happens.
Incidentally, do any of you have any poetry you would like me to recite at a public gathering? Wedding, wake, birthday party?
For a small fee, of course.
-tgme
P.S. Sorry, I got a little distracted in the middle of writing this post. It's incoherent, I know. If you find yourselves devoid of content this week, anticipating my return, you could try your hand at editing, or just send me a friendly email with some tips on straightening this post out.
Speaking of straightening out, I really would like to go into greater length describing the causes, symptoms, and remedies to this stress I carry, but think that that should be a whole post.
So, yes, I'm going somewhere tomorrow. I wish I were staying there.
-t
Friday, September 08, 2006
The sky is NOT falling (apparently)
Howdy. How ya'll doin'? All worried about me losing my job because I've done abso-nothing-lutely lately? I was too.
The amount of work I actually did on a daily basis remained at a steady, flat, zero (0) for three-and-a-half weeks, consecutively.
I'm not kidding. On three of those days (last Thursday, Friday, Tuesday) the most amount of work I did was turn on my monitor. That's it. I didn't even use a password to sign in to any applications. I didn't receive any emails. Nothing.
On most of the other days I peaked at "open microsoft excel, just in case."
And, as I believe most of you are aware, I was feeling a growing dread.
In light of the copious amount of work I hadn't been doing, and the impending Day Five deadline, I felt sure the figurative ceiling would collapse in on me, burying me along with many useless reports in the ancient temple ruins like a tragic, yet heroic, adventurer and so many poisonous snakes.
I feared the repercussions of my inactivity. And here we are, on Day Five, and there are none.
NONE. I don't understand. This is no way to run a business, I can tell you that. Why even bother with deadlines (which, btw, are mandated and overseen by the federal government), if you're not going to adhere to them?
The reports are going to be late, and I haven't detected one bit of consternation related to that fact around here. Not me, not my manager, not the VP, nobody. I've been sitting here not knowing how to do anything for weeks with four hours left to do over a month's work and my manager came by and said, casually, with no inflection, "Well, these reports will be late."
AUGH!! THE CEILING! IT'S COMING DOWN!...Look ou-... No?
No.
So what's the call? Greatest level of frustration and disappointment in recent memory?
Or greatest job ever?
-t
The amount of work I actually did on a daily basis remained at a steady, flat, zero (0) for three-and-a-half weeks, consecutively.
I'm not kidding. On three of those days (last Thursday, Friday, Tuesday) the most amount of work I did was turn on my monitor. That's it. I didn't even use a password to sign in to any applications. I didn't receive any emails. Nothing.
On most of the other days I peaked at "open microsoft excel, just in case."
And, as I believe most of you are aware, I was feeling a growing dread.
In light of the copious amount of work I hadn't been doing, and the impending Day Five deadline, I felt sure the figurative ceiling would collapse in on me, burying me along with many useless reports in the ancient temple ruins like a tragic, yet heroic, adventurer and so many poisonous snakes.
I feared the repercussions of my inactivity. And here we are, on Day Five, and there are none.
NONE. I don't understand. This is no way to run a business, I can tell you that. Why even bother with deadlines (which, btw, are mandated and overseen by the federal government), if you're not going to adhere to them?
The reports are going to be late, and I haven't detected one bit of consternation related to that fact around here. Not me, not my manager, not the VP, nobody. I've been sitting here not knowing how to do anything for weeks with four hours left to do over a month's work and my manager came by and said, casually, with no inflection, "Well, these reports will be late."
AUGH!! THE CEILING! IT'S COMING DOWN!...Look ou-... No?
No.
So what's the call? Greatest level of frustration and disappointment in recent memory?
Or greatest job ever?
-t
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Has anybody heard from John?
(alt. title: "gmail is great")
me: dude
what's the story?
John: hey there
whats up
story?
no story
per se
me: how is work
John: just been crazy insane busy
me: how is daniel
John: work = good
me: how is daniel's family
John: daniel = surprising good
fam = awesome
car = bought
me: how is speaking spanish all the time
John: meh
classes every day from 9-11
then work 11-4
then other work 4-8
me: nice and busy
John: then apartment moving junk 8-10
then sleep
me: how is the local cuisine?
John: yummy
though i might have cholera from the water
me: right
John: yes
me: how are the bugs
John: bugs?
me: I imagine there are lots of disease carrying bugs
John: oh
me: mosquitoes among them
John: i guess so
meh
were in the tropics
but in the mountains
so in addition to banana trees
there are also pines
the weather is cool
and nice
so not a lot of jungle bugs
me: ok, so no bugs, just mountain goats,
llamas,
and mountain lions
John: um
me: and boa constrictors
John: its a city of 3 million i think
so...
me: and drug lords
John: YES
DRUG LORDS
me: how are the drugs
John: in masarattis
me: sweet
John: masarati?
anyway
yes
pretty car
John: ok, gotta go
-t
me: dude
what's the story?
John: hey there
whats up
story?
no story
per se
me: how is work
John: just been crazy insane busy
me: how is daniel
John: work = good
me: how is daniel's family
John: daniel = surprising good
fam = awesome
car = bought
me: how is speaking spanish all the time
John: meh
classes every day from 9-11
then work 11-4
then other work 4-8
me: nice and busy
John: then apartment moving junk 8-10
then sleep
me: how is the local cuisine?
John: yummy
though i might have cholera from the water
me: right
John: yes
me: how are the bugs
John: bugs?
me: I imagine there are lots of disease carrying bugs
John: oh
me: mosquitoes among them
John: i guess so
meh
were in the tropics
but in the mountains
so in addition to banana trees
there are also pines
the weather is cool
and nice
so not a lot of jungle bugs
me: ok, so no bugs, just mountain goats,
llamas,
and mountain lions
John: um
me: and boa constrictors
John: its a city of 3 million i think
so...
me: and drug lords
John: YES
DRUG LORDS
me: how are the drugs
John: in masarattis
me: sweet
John: masarati?
anyway
yes
pretty car
John: ok, gotta go
-t
Reeding Highlights
from Dave's Long Box
from Neil Gaiman
from Flixens
-t
"As I draw this post to a patronizing finish, I would encourage everyone to maintain a degree of perspective and civility. The anonymity of the Internet makes the need for civil discourse even greater. Do you really need to get in a flame war with some 13-year old who thinks Mike Mignola sucks? Because that kid’s an idiot, fuck that kid."
from Neil Gaiman
"I find I'm suddenly unsure whether or not that means exactly what I'm certain it does mean, so I google "personal lubricants" and yes, it's talking about exactly what I think it's talking about. Up to 4 oz. of personal lubricants are just fine.... practically the only liquid you can take with you onto a plane."
from Flixens
"Think of it as having a children, and one of them is just better than all the rest. Instantly talented at anything he or she puts their mind to, and will easily be more successful than your other children, who range from occasionally inspired, to the ones that bump their head on the side of the breakfast table every morning.
The [1973 original] Wicker Man is that superior child...
So, might I be a little bit biased, when watching a remake of The Wicker Man? Turns out, no. The film is plenty bad on it's own merit, without me being prejudice..."
-t
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
There aren't any stations.
Today, just now, I discovered the mental link between the phrase "train of thought" and "jump the tracks" and since have been mildly amused at the thought of a brain train jumping the thought tracks.
I am further amused by the inevitable trainwreck of and idea such an incident would cause. Or possibly brainwreck.
So, now, whenever I find myself thinking about myself thinking... about... - I now picture a cartoonish train bouncing merrily along a track, as it swivels its headlamp around looking about for, and finding, a different and interesting looking track nearby, then hopping over to that one to continue bouncing down whatever railway lines have been laid in this brain of mine.
Also, the hopping train is accompanied by the Peter Cottontail song.
-t "there are no stops on this train of thought" e
I am further amused by the inevitable trainwreck of and idea such an incident would cause. Or possibly brainwreck.
So, now, whenever I find myself thinking about myself thinking... about... - I now picture a cartoonish train bouncing merrily along a track, as it swivels its headlamp around looking about for, and finding, a different and interesting looking track nearby, then hopping over to that one to continue bouncing down whatever railway lines have been laid in this brain of mine.
Also, the hopping train is accompanied by the Peter Cottontail song.
"Here comes Peter Cottontail
Hopping down the bunny trail
Hippity-hoppity Easter's on its way!"
-t "there are no stops on this train of thought" e
Business Strategy
Not knowing how I'm supposed to do the work I'm supposed to do (or, really, what work it is I'm supposed to do), I feel obligated to look busy, rather than take an eight-hour nap at my desk.
In order to do so I continually browse through the company server, opening folders and files at random. When I find something that I think looks interesting, I print it out.
I think a person who is jumping up from their desk to grab stuff off the printer all day must be working pretty hard - don't you?
-t
In order to do so I continually browse through the company server, opening folders and files at random. When I find something that I think looks interesting, I print it out.
I think a person who is jumping up from their desk to grab stuff off the printer all day must be working pretty hard - don't you?
-t
Friday, September 01, 2006
Blogger by default
I'd asked a rhetorical question and received an answer from a loyal reader, an answer that should have occurred to me immediately.
My default mode is blogging.
It's what I do when I have nothing to do, or when I can't do what I do have to do, or do to do do to do do do. (haha)
So here I sit, still blogging away.
Yesterday I set up my very first RSS/Atom reader which now means I can stare at one page that's never updated instead of clicking on a thousand links to look at a thousand pages that are never updated.
Nice, right?
Well, yes. It has certainly efficiencized my blog reading. I'm buzzing through the thirty-or-so blogs I used to read daily in about a minute's time. I think I'm going to have to increase my intake to about 300 blogs a day (at least until I've practiced and gotten used to the feeder reader (which I'm going to abbreviate henceforth as either "feader" or "reeder"), then I'll probably be cruising through 1000 blogs a day).
They're great, these reeders. It's like saying "Hey, readers, I don't want you coming to my page. I'm going to put stuff up here, but please, please, don't come by and read it! Just customize your own little reeder, then you're good! You'll see my content without stopping by, and I won't have to worry about keeping up my html or formatting, or colors, or links, or anything!
It's like talking on the phone instead of stopping by for a visit. I can be just as charming via the airwaves as I would be in person, and you can pretend I'm talking to you from a pristine and hip apartment, but this way I don't have to worry about picking up the place.
So, bloggers, I encourage you, get yourselves a reeder, because they're fun! And you can leave me to my empty-pizza-box masthead, and dirty-laundry links, and tired-old-unwashed-dishes-in-the-bathroom-sink template. Go on, be free!
-t
My default mode is blogging.
It's what I do when I have nothing to do, or when I can't do what I do have to do, or do to do do to do do do. (haha)
So here I sit, still blogging away.
Yesterday I set up my very first RSS/Atom reader which now means I can stare at one page that's never updated instead of clicking on a thousand links to look at a thousand pages that are never updated.
Nice, right?
Well, yes. It has certainly efficiencized my blog reading. I'm buzzing through the thirty-or-so blogs I used to read daily in about a minute's time. I think I'm going to have to increase my intake to about 300 blogs a day (at least until I've practiced and gotten used to the feeder reader (which I'm going to abbreviate henceforth as either "feader" or "reeder"), then I'll probably be cruising through 1000 blogs a day).
They're great, these reeders. It's like saying "Hey, readers, I don't want you coming to my page. I'm going to put stuff up here, but please, please, don't come by and read it! Just customize your own little reeder, then you're good! You'll see my content without stopping by, and I won't have to worry about keeping up my html or formatting, or colors, or links, or anything!
It's like talking on the phone instead of stopping by for a visit. I can be just as charming via the airwaves as I would be in person, and you can pretend I'm talking to you from a pristine and hip apartment, but this way I don't have to worry about picking up the place.
So, bloggers, I encourage you, get yourselves a reeder, because they're fun! And you can leave me to my empty-pizza-box masthead, and dirty-laundry links, and tired-old-unwashed-dishes-in-the-bathroom-sink template. Go on, be free!
-t
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