Ah, Productivity, my old friend, we meet again. How I loathe you. How have you been? Keeping busy, no doubt. And me? Well, I have tried famously to avoid you at all costs. I've even started an online journal to chronicle my attempts to thwart you and your buddy over there, Hard Work. Well, actually I don't so much chronicle as write something down whenever I can. It's a product really, of my inactive lifestyle. What was that? Why did I use the word "product?" Well, I... Oh, oh, I see. This online distraction is a "product" I've "produced" I have therefore been "productive." Why you crafty little devil. You haven't really been gone at all, have you. Just lurking aroud behind me where I can't see. No, that was my manager. Well, in any case, well-played you, well-played. I look forward to our next showdown. I'm sure that next time I shall be better prepared. Telephone with personal phone call against my ear, coffee in one hand, one foot out the door, sleeping on the job, and chatting away online. See ya, Productivity, old man, and tell your friend Results, I'll see her when I see her.

-Tom
recommended download:
Frank Sinatra, Luck Be A Lady

credit where credit is due

the way things work, the way things should work, and the way I want things to work are all different things. here's an example:

interest lines are due at the begining of the month. we have 30 days to clear them. after 30 days they are past due and that's a problem.

yesterday we got an email from hypermanager telling us (in bold caps) to clear the intrest lines on our funds before they're (dun dun dun) past due.

I only had one outstanding line, which I had already followed up on with the PA who followed up with the client, so it's out of my hands. and it was only 26 days old, so I'm ahead.

today victor didn't show up. they split up his funds, I'm covering an easy one. easy trades, nothing weird, so no problem. oh, wait, what's that? victor hasn't cleared any of his SIX interest lines? and THEY'RE ALL MORE THAN A WEEK PAST DUE? what the hell man!?

so that's my morning. where normally I'd be blogging or chatting online or just, you know, spacing out, I'm now doing real actual work that people in my position do. and, since there are a billion past due lines out there hypermanager and counterpart are helping. bam, bam, bam they make adjustments to funds, bam I find a missing rate, bam I find an incorrect accrual date, bam, bam, bam and we're all good. took maybe an hour of research and adustments. real, actual work. I'd feel accomplished. except for one thing. I took care of my responsibilities weeks ago. I was doing someone else's real, actual, work. and I'm letting you know now, that he won't hear one thing about it when he gets back, and next time pastdue lines roll around no one's going to say "hey Tom, good work on Victor's funds last time, thanks for the help." So really, it would make no difference if I'd slacked like crazy this month, not cleared up any lines, and waited until the last minute AND THEN CALLED IN. credit where credit is due, is all I'm saying.

-Tom
recommended downloads:
Oasis, Cigarettes & Alcohol

You're driving me insane! THIS IS HOW PEOPLE GO INSANE!

That's a quote from bobrauschenbergamerica, it's a really wonderful play. Anyway, things here at work are escalating. When I say "things" I mean "tension." Gail is out this week and now things are running less smoothly than normal. I don't know if this is a) because Gail is so good at what she does or that b) she's really an excellent buffer between us (the FAs) and management. I suspect it is reason b. For example: Our weekly yield checks generate an excel spreadsheet which we need to review for zeroes, (no zeroes = good). Hypermanager, however, insists on checking each and every field of the spreadsheet for possible errors. There are 18 fields for each stock owned for each fund. That's lots of checking for stuff that doesn't matter. Hey, manager, just check the last column for zeroes. But alas, as he checks the stuff that doesn't matter, he finds things that can be "more accurate" and tells us to fix them. Are there zeroes? No. Do we need to bother fixing stuff so that there are no rounding errors? Do we really need to update the date/time format so they all match? No. Get over yourself, hypermanager.

He also sent out an email today regarding interest payments on the funds. These payments are supposed to be made in the first week of the month, but have a grace period of 30 days. Anything over 30 days is pastdue and he freaks out. So now we have a list of 27 stocks to check because next tuesday they'll be "pastdue" which, of course, means the end of the world. Hey, hypermanager, how about you let the PAs worry about the interest payments, which is, after all, their job? (However, I did get a laugh out of the PA on one of my funds when I described hypermanager as "freaking out").

Anyway, I'm going insane. With the interest payment crackdown, yield check overwork, and the ever present AIM police attitudes the hypermanager is carrying around it's almost inevitable. I'm going to go insane or develop pogonophobia (fear of beards -thanks Tom).

-Tom
recommended download:
Green Day - When I Come Around
and
Oasis - Step Out

ps. adina, donny and I do not have very similar problems: his office has lots of work and everyone wants him doing it. my office has zero to do, almost no responsibility and a psycho manager who isn't content unless the entire office is stressed-out-to-the-max. but you are right, donny can handle the beautiful women, I def. can't

Gone to the dogs.

Ok folks, here's a cute picture.

This

is from ephemera, that photoblog in the links section
(right, like you haven't checked out that links section yet)
it's a good one.

-Tom

Loss

I don't have anything to write about, but I don't have anything to do either, so I'm writing.

Yesterday I wanted to cut my hair, all of it, off. Today I don't. I've been going back and forth on this for a little while now.

Yesterday I settled on the GMC Canyon compact pickup, 4x4 crew cab. 18.1mpg, $23K. The day before that I had decided on the volkswagen passat, awd, 17.2 mpg $24.5K. I've also decided on the Ford Explorer Sport Trac, the Audi A6 sedan, and the Chevy Tahoe.

I am now begining to wonder if my indecisiveness is a symptom of something. Is it the effect in some causal relationship? So far this effect has not affected me overmuch. I can deal with longer hair, I'll just need to buy some more of that hair stuff to control it, keep it out of my eyes. I don't have to decide on a car just now, I don't plan on purchasing one until the end of summer anyway.

Right now, it seems, it's just the car decision and the hair decision that elude me. Deciding on plans for the weekend, or what to have for breakfast happen easily. If this small bubble of indecisiveness grows, however, I will start some serious pondering.

-Tom
recommended download:
Bob Schneider, King Of The World

reading

I think this was supposed to be a joke, but seriously, how much does this sound like me?:

if we're talking about character strengths, mental strengths, then I'd say it has to be his concentration and multitasking abilities. While it may appear to you that he's browsing the Internet, or playing PS2 games in his office with his pants off, behind those sparkling eyes, his mind is working a mile a minute, perhaps juggling seventeen or eighteen different concepts: efficiency statistics, status reports, nonlinear algorithms, sales accounts, Portuguese poetry—


-Tom
recommended download:
AC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long

the wall

That's it. I've hit the wall. I can no longer function. Please forgive any typing errors. My muscles just gave up, I think the only things that are still working are my heart and the six or seven necessary tendons and muscles that operate the index finger. Oh, and the diaphram, I'm still breathing.

But that's it. Nothing else is working. My eyes are closed because I can't open my eyelids. I can't lift my head, the muscles in my neck aren't working, my head is lolling back and forth on my chair. My left arm is swinging listlessly at my side, fingers dragging on the floor. I've hit the wall.

I don't think it's anything but being really really tired. I'm not taking any medication thatmay cause drowsiness, I'm not inebriated, nothing like that, just really, very, physically, tired.

ugh.

What are you supposed to do in a situation like this? I was thinking about leaving, taking off, going home, but I can't. Physically. I couldn't get out of this chair even if I wanted to, nevermind make it all the way to the T. I'd fall asleep if I sat down on the train and I'd be out. Like a light. I'd be riding back and forth on the Orange Line until they kicked me out at Forest Hills at 12:45 tonight. That's no good. I think I'm just going to have to wait it out. Zone out, zone back in, struggle through the workday. [yawwwn]. Come on adrenaline.

-tom
recommended download
adrenaline - gavin rossdale

Bloomberg's in Spanish

So the bloomberg terminal is now in spanish. the functions are all the same, everything's in the same place, but now all the menus and commands are in spanish. We can still use it, I, for one, understand a little spanish, and the group, as a whole, knows where the menu items we use all the time are located, so things haven't slowed down. They've just been in spanish.

It's sort of funny. Every couple hours I sit down over there and start poking around, looking for the command that controls what language the menus are in. I haven't found anything that looks like "settings" or "idioma" so it's still in spanish.

This episode has made me realize how valuable my three semesters of foreign language were not. It's also made me aware that my affinity for software is not limited by my native tongue, but my ability is. therefore, I am going to make a half-hearted effort to use computers in other languages. I'm sure that if I don't have to go out of my way to do so, it will still happen.

This reminds me of the time my sister changed my cell phone display to hebrew. That lasted two weeks.

-Tom

DEBT FREE!

I have student loans (I know, I know, who doesn't) a bunch through the federal government and a smaller bunch from BU.

I paid off the BU loans! woohoo!

now I'm debt free :-D (only BU debt.) The point is: I now no longer owe money to the school I graduated from. Way to go, me.

Still, with the federal loans, but whatever.

Embracing my new found financial freedom I am now contemplating getting a credit card (or two) and purchasing a car or truck (today I am thinking about a GMC Sierra even though it gets a dismal 13.1 mpg) or possible a Dodge Dakota or maybe a corvette. There's lots of stuff out there that costs money I don't have, and I'm thinking about buying the lot.

-Tom

recommended download:
Barenaked Ladies, If I Had A Million Dollars.

I've got another creepy stalker

So the first creepy stalker found me on the facebook. started IMing me, and hey, I'm a friendly guy, I appreciate the random IM every now and then. We chatted off and on through the summer, she was going to school in NC she thought my picture was "cute" and took it from there. I haven't heard from her in a while, I understand that, a year at school changes people, you make new friends, that you've seen face-to-face, you know.

But now, I've got a new creepy stalker (hi there c.s.) New creepy stalker found me through Blogger. There's a nifty little button on the top of these blogs ("Next Blog") that takes you to a random blog on the blogspot server. She hit next blog, my web log came up, she commented. Naturally curious, naive, and unsuspecting me sent an IM, just to be friendly (I'm a friendly guy).

we have a pleasant conversation (she's a comic book fan) and then she hits me with this:
ncs: I didn't know you were in boston!
me: um, it says that in my profile
ncs: where do you buy your comics? I work at the new england comics on harvard ave!
me: um
ncs: so, are you social?
me: social?
ncs: you know, do you live alone or with people? do you go out with friends?
ncs: because you seem like a semi-intelligent person, and I usually enjoy talking to people like that

I sort of missed having a stalker. Not.

-Tom
recommended downloads:
Reliant K, I'm Lion-o

Cornered?

So when pressured, when backed into a corner, what are your options?
1. give up
2. flee
3. fight
or
4. take another look at your resources, both personal and in the surrounding environment. We humans are tool-users, reevaluate the tools at your disposal.

In this particular instance, the manager sees an AIM window up on your screen. It appears your initial efforts at keeping it hidden (hide taskbar button when buddylist is minimized, hide windows while away) weren't good enough (also, it's entirley possible, and entirely likely the whole reason he saw an AIM window on your screen and not the black, powered-down, sleep-mode monitor is because he was trying to mess with your computer while you were at lunch, but that's a fight for another day). He tells you to get rid of AIM.

Resources.

Clearly AIM's own camoflauge isn't enough. So you look for more effective ways of keeping the program hidden. Since you've had a computer since freshman year of high school you're pretty familiar with the Window operating system, this leads you to explore your Start Menu and Taskbar options.
First, you didn't know this before, but you can choose which icons appear next to the clock, or how often they appear. Normally the little AIM buddy is chilling down there next to the time, but you switch his command to "always hide" and click, he's gone! Also, you alter a few of the other icons commands from "hide when inactive" to "always show" to keep the taskbar busy-looking with business related icons.
Second, you change the Taskbar setting from "always on top" (Adina I know what just ran through your mind) to "autohide the taskbar" thus keeping that out of sight as well.
Third, and I'm very pleased I thought of this, change the name of the folder that opens from the Start button from "AOL Instant Messenger" to something inoccuous and business sounding like "AlphaComm" or "SecCom (SM)" so that even people taking a quick look at your list of available programs won't see it.

Granted, none of this will keep someone determined to find AIM from finding AIM. If someone were to be hell bent on discovering the program, they would only need to be at the terminal and conduct a search, or look through the Program Files folder. So, manager, you'll have to either be very timely to catch me chatting online, or very at-my-desk-while-I'm-not so you can search my files to catch me with the program. But try doing that when I put my Ctrl+Alt+Del lock on the terminal. Ha.

Well, you'll be seeing me, maybe not as often
And I hope that spy-manager over there won't be seeing any more of you.
The end.

-Tom
recommended download:
Eve 6, There's A Face

happy fractional birthday!

There should be a better way to say that.
Today is March twenty-fourth, today I am twenty-one and eight-twelfths -- wait, no no, no, today I am twenty-two and eight-twelfths, (reduced to twenty-two and two-thirds). Congratulations to me on making it through sixty-six percent of another year. It seems like a good time to talk about some highlights.

since being twenty-two and zero-twelfths (highlights include):
-getting a job: this really was a highlight, it reaffirmed my belief that I am wholly employable, and led to the second highlight,
-starting a web log!: for without such a decision I wouldn't have anywhere to post highlights.
-going to Rome: this one was pretty recent, it's the first time I've ever travelled far enough away that they speak a different language, and it was the reason for,
-buying a digital camera!: a real beauty too, 4.0 megapixels, 10x optical zoom, all that good stuff
-seeing Venture Bros. for the first time: it's a fun show, I like it, just like
-watching Robot Chicken!: this one just started, I don't know if it will last, but the fact that the stop animation relies heavily on gi joe action figures puts it way up there in my book, and speaking of books,
-reading lots of books!: it's been a while since I've read as much as I have these past few weeks, and I enjoy reading tremendously. The reason I haven't been reading is because the next highlight is
-getting an iPod!: these things are great. music, whenever, wherever you want it.
-watching the first couple seasons of The Shield on dvd: it's a good show, now I can watch it in primetime on FX. go commish!
-getting a Nextel phone: I love that walkie talkie feature, everybody I know is getting them, just like when we were kids playing guns in the back yard. The only thing that could make this sweeter is laser-tag
-getting invited to the Texas Rangers' Home Opener!: I love baseball :-D

Well, those are just some of the highlights. There were others. This being my seven thousand nine-hundred fourteenth day (I'm estimating) it's also a good time to look forward. Here are some goals:

from being twenty-two and two-thirds (going forward)
-buy a car!: this is the biggest goal.
-finish the one-thousand five-hundred piece puzzle we started yesterday!: it's from Rome
-make it another one hundred twenty-two days: so I can make it to the rangers game, make to the fourth of july bash (in austin), and to my next birthday.

-Tom
recommended download
Jason Mraz, On Love In Sadness

Pissed

Is my work suffering? Are you dissapointed in the quality of my results? Am I missing deadlines? Did I forget to print something out? Did I not run a report I should have? Am I a below-average employee? AM I?! No. I'm a good employee. I know, because I'm a smart guy. Here's how I figured it out, two things: People have always told me I'm a good employee. -and- I haven't changed or altered the way I work.

So why the static? Look. I'm not walking in here demanding you make me happy. All I'm asking, asking, is that you stop going out of your way to make me unhappy. My work is being handed in on time, right? It's correct, right? I'm learning everyday, making less mistakes than when I started, right? I elevate problems when I know I can't deal with them, right? I'm a beacon of positive light and energy in this workplace and especially this group filled with nay-sayers and pessimists, right? RIGHT. SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET UP OFF MY BACK?

So, manager guy, here's what you do. Pull me aside "Hey, can I see you a minute [awkward pause] Nothing bad." Walk to your office, out of ear shot, close the door. Say, "Listen, I saw an AOL Instant Messenger window on your screen while you were at lunch, I think the AVP might have seen it to. Instant Messenger isn't approved software, you know? I've had to talk to some other people about it. I'm telling you now, as like, you know.. I don't want to have to do something about it. If the AVP says something to me, then, you know... So just, get it off the computer. I don't want to him say something to me, before, you know..."

Gee, what a well delivered warning. I'm glad my boss can communicate at a level on par with high school freshman, like, you know? I'm glad his primary concern is the state of his group, the well-being of the employees directly under his supervision, and not, like, you know, company policies and procedures that, are (1) stupid and (2) not enforced by anyone anywhere except, aparently, my manager and the AVP.

So make your case. If it's not approved software, then get it the hell off the computers, it would take three seconds to add aim.com to the company firewall's restricted list. They've got control of all the computers on their network too, with a five line program they could sweep the nation wide network and have any instance of AIM on any terminal hooked up to the system uninstalled overnight. Don't give me this "not approved" line. If it weren't approved, it wouldn't be allowed. These are the same IT guys that have blocked hotmail, yahoomail, gmail, and every other online email site that exists. These are the guys that have blocked azlyrics.com (and what the hell is that about?).

What's the real issue? You want us concentrating on mutual funds and only mutual funds? Why not say that then? Because you don't have a leg to stand on, that's why. Because I'm doing my job, I'm not costing the funds any money, I'm efficient, I'm correct, I'm on time. What is your problem. When it becomes an issue, when I'm not completing work because I'm online, that's when you say something. Otherwise back the hell off.

-Tom
recommended download:
Flogging Molly, Screaming At The Wailing Wall

UVA/UVB

My eighth grade class took a week long trip to Washington D.C. The school provided a list of items that would be necessary or useful on the trip to our parents, so that they could send us off well-prepared. One item on the list was sunglasses. So, while we were out shopping for stuff I needed for the trip I found a really nice pair of shades. They cost something like $15. My mom refused to buy them based on the belief that they were being taken to the airport, on a plane, on a bus, to a hotel, to a strange city for a week, worn by a perhaps absent-minded eighth grader surrounded by his at least as, and probably slightly more, absent-minded classmates. $15 was too much money to waste on glasses that would be lost before I even got on the plane. I argued my case, mostly with "I won't lose them!" but in the end she purchased me a pair of $5 glasses. Metallic green, black lenses, small X-games logo on either earpiece of the plastic so called "sports" frames (and this is back when the x-games were just starting out). So they were a little big for my tiny eighth grade cranium, not yet filled with the knowledge high school would try to cram in there and college would let seep out. They made me look like a bug. Giant bug eyes. But whatever, always one to make the best of any situation I wore them the whole trip, and was glad I had them, because Washington D.C. is sunny in the spring - but, the whole time, every day, I would think to myself, "mom thought I was going to lose the fifteen dollar sunglasses, I'll show her, I won't lose these, proving I did, in fact, deserve the more expensive pair." (That's almost an exact excerpt from my eighth grade brain, back then I thought with many dependent clauses). I didn't lose the glasses. I had them with me safe and sound when we returned to Boston. I kept them and wore them the following summer. I threw them on a shelf or someplace for the winter, and still had them the following summer, and so on...

Since my eighth grade year, and especially since my freshman year of college I've purchased many more pairs of sunglasses. Through it all I've kept the five dollar bug glasses. I've still got 'em. For the first few years they were my "I'm going to know where these are every moment of every day to make sure I don't lose them to prove mom wrong" glasses, later, they became the "junk" pair, the one's I'd wear if I thought there would be a danger of scratching, bending, breaking, or losing. Mountain biking, camping, vacations at the beach. I saved my other, nicer glasses for looking good, going out, weddings, birthdays, and so on. I've gone through maybe twenty pairs of "nice" glasses. I've still got the bug glasses.

I think, that if it ever happens, I'm going to be really upset if I lose them.

-Tom B-)

recommended download
Bob Schneider, I'm Good Now

So I pushed lunch back today, to run a few programs on the system. Added benefit is that while the programs run I can't use excel, which means basically I get an hour or so to screw aroud online while I'm "working" After the programs finished I was going to just run out and grab something to eat. Too late I realized that by not being able to use excel I was unable to work on my budget (due today) so now I'm not getting food, because of the stupid budget. Come on. These things are supposed to be done in the second week of the month, why give this one to me?

-Tom
I recommend that somebody bring me a pizza.

Like a true nature's child...

So I don't know what's been going on lately. My head isn't in the game. And I like it - because it's not ponderously sluggish thinking or anything, my synapses are firing at top speed, it's an unfocusability, like my head's floating over there, just behind me to my right, thinkin it's own thoughts, chillin, wheels spinning.

That's not the best way to get a budget done, but who cares? I'm like superman on gold kryptonite, without the super powers. I'm like a dream. I'm all over the place. Is any of this making sense? It's ok if it's not, I doubt you've read this far anyway (ADINA)

Maybe I'll get a croissant or a danish, mabye some coffee will alter my state of mind (but push it into focus? no way). My computer is spooling very slowly to the printer today, Jonathan, the Opie&Anthony fan is out, I've got my iPod and I'm about to hook it up to the computer, I've got a budget to finish, I could really go for a nap right now, I'm heading to the pub tonight, my hair is looking ridiculous again (I've realized I have too much hair to wear it long. That's right, too much. I'm enjoying it.), and the only thing I have left to do is budgets, yield checks, and archiving, oh, and actually applying for the job that it was suggested I apply for, which is such a proccess I might not even do it. Shouldn't the internal application be easier than the external? I think so. Anyway, I'm going to go chat online. If you've made it this far (ADINA) you don't have to comment, but if you're looking for something interesting to read, try the posts from last week, there are a couple good ones - I think.

lookin for adventure, and whatever-comes-our-way!
-Tom

liek a true-nature's-child
I was born-born to be wild
gonna climb so high think I'm never gonna
d-i-e
born to be wi-i-ild

what can I say, it just popped into my head. get your motor runnin, head out on the highway!
somebody stop me, this could go on forever. I don't even remember what I was going to post, my brain's been taken over. music music everywhere and not a note to drink. the who, bob schneider, donna summer, bowling for soup, madonna, pearl jam, just bouncing around. it's like my mind is on shuffle and I'm too impatient to listen to a whole song.

so I guess I'm a U2 fan

I watched a little bit of U2's induction into the rock and roll hall of fame last night, mostly the springsteen intro, he was great. I guess I'm a fan. There was a time (high school) that I didn't like U2, and I can tell you exactly why: Sunday, Bloody Sunday. That song drove me crazy, it was the only lyric I knew, and it just repeated repeated repeated. So I didn't give them a chance. Even if I had I don't know if I would have appreciated them, or if I do even now. There were two camps in my high school, Dave Matthews fans, and U2 fans, and they were mutually exclusive, not one person liked both groups, it was either hate-love, or love-hate. As I grew older, and was exposed to more music I began to lose passion for dmb and at some point thought I would give U2 a try. It probably wasn't the best time, it was just after the release of the single Wild Honey which is not their best, or even close, but I was listening to them.

So here I am again, listening to U2, now maybe I'll make an effort and get some more songs from their early years, see what they have to offer.

-Tom
recommended download
U2, New Year's Day
and
Bruce Springsteen, Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town (Live)

I believe you'd get your ass kicked saying something like that, man.

Hell of a way to start a week. Up til now Ihaven't really felt the urge to quote office space, but here I am, monday morning, that's all I can think about. These last few weeks have been like a kid rollercoaster, up and down, up and down, in a little circle - never to high up, never too far down, and you never go anywhere. today I'm thinking about quitting again. not because I dont like the work, not because my coworkers are giving me a hard time, just because I don't really feel like coming in. I'd rather not be in the office today, I'd rather be out, say, driving, or wandering around fanueil hall, just not doing anything. I had a couple problems early this morning, and rather than do some research and fix them, I just sat here, because I didn't want to. Fifteen minutes later I did the research, and they got fixed, but that's fifteen minutes I'd spent kinda "spacing out," you know where you're not actually doing any work, but it looks like you are. So to end this post, here's another office space quote:

Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.

Tom
recommended download
Jack Johnson, Sitting Waiting Wishing

so I guess I haven't told you

I haven't told you about how well my camera performed in Rome. It was awesome. Definitely a great purchase. I love the feature that diverts the view from the lcd screen on the back to the electronic viewfinder eyepiece, makes it feel like a "real" camera. plus the new memory card held 280 full 4.0 megapixel resolution photos, that's huge. and finally, and this is great, I bought eight rechargeable batteries and charged them all up before the trip, and the first batch of four lasted me the whole week! that's 280 photos, plus flash support, plus all the editing and viewing I did on the camera. they're still going strong. great purchases all around. to sum up, I love the charger and batteries, I love the memory card, and the fujifilm finepix series are a good line of cameras.

-tom
recommended download:
billy joel, only the good die young
and
fuel, last time