Not Exactly a World Takeover Bid, But Interesting None-the-less

I posted a few weeks ago about back room politics and lamented the disappearance of cigar-smoking power brokers secrectly controlling American government.

I got some heat in the comments, but why didn't anybody link to this article?

Surprise Party

which sounds like a viable alternative. Hell, I'm on board. The gist is this:

If you’ve worked in national politics at almost any point in the last forty years, chances are things got worse, not better, on your watch. That can gnaw at you.

A condemnation of the current state of affairs - I'm intrigued...

As the evening wore on, a sense of frustration pervaded the gathering, until finally Jordan exclaimed, “Why are you guys just writing a book? Can’t we do something about this? The country is in serious trouble here!” And then came the leap...

A third party. A real third party, done in a brand new way. Online.

resolved that it would operate on the Internet. That way everyone could join the party online and participate as a delegate, helping to build the party’s platform collectively rather than ceding that task to interest groups, as both major parties tend to do. Ultimately, they hoped, these delegates would select a presidential and vice-presidential candidate in an online convention to be held in 2008

And here's my favorite part, it's got the ring of Cincinatus to it:

Bailey and his confederates envision their enterprise not as the establishment of a permanent third party but as a one-shot affair—a dose of medicine strong enough to bring the two parties to their senses. Only then, they believe, can things truly improve. In other words, they are attempting nothing less than to rescue American politics and put the country back on the right track.

Check it out. Unity08



Or, you know, write-in Gore.
-t

Warning: Don't pick on the little guy

That's it for those of you who doubted: Pedroia's a ballplayer.

Alex Rodriguez made an "unnatural baseball move" on a slide breaking up a double play last night in the Red Sox 7-3 victory over the Yankees, throwing his elbow into Dustin Pedroia's hip as Pedroia attempted a throw to first base.

Was it a cheap slide? In my opinion, no. It was a hard aggressive, yes, slightly unnatural slide, not "honorable" but not "cheap" either.

But, the nice thing about baseball is there's a proven remedy for this very thing: Throw at a guy's face.

Pedroia's post game comment (emphasis added):

"He went in late and kind of threw an elbow. It was a little cheap but no big deal. I’ll remember. I play second base. I’ve got to turn two with the Yankees 19 times a year, so I know now when he’s coming in, my (arm) slot gets dropped to the floor. That’s it."

A-Rod running toward you in the way of a throw? Aim for his head. He won't try it again.

So, here's hoping it's Pedroia, and not Schilling, who gets to deliver the message tonight.

Pedroia concluded: "He probably got carried away but it happens. He was trying to help his team win. I’m just trying to turn a double play. I’ll get killed if I have to. I’m just trying to get that out.

Alex Rodriguez was apparently not available for comment.


-t

Sox lose in NY, help Boston fans rediscover themselves

Oh thank goodness. Sox get hammered in New York, 6-2

We can all go back to being worried again. I'm telling you, I couldn't take it.

Last week I had to listen to a caller on WEEI Sports Radio complain that Pedroia was getting too much playing time. The rookie second baseman with the flashy leather work who's been hitting .400 for two weeks? Too much time?

If we're not losing to the Yankees we've got nothing to talk about! I mean come on! Schilling hasn't said something controversial in support of President Bush, or taken Bonds to task, or mouthed off at the New York fans for weeks! Weeks!

But now! Now, Wakefield's ERA is climbing back up to familiar territory, folks are starting to pay attention to Manny's demise at the plate, and we've lost our double-digit lead in the AL East.

(The only reason, btw, the lead was double digits is because we're the only team in the division playing over .500 baseball)

But now! It looks like the Yankees have pitching back! Not all the way back, I grant you, but Wang didn't look terrible last night (well, he didn't look great during the game - something like 73 pitches through three innings) but up on the scoreboard he looked just fine.

Their bullpen didn't implode. Their lineup hit multiple home runs .

We can start to worry again!

I don't know what I would have done otherwise. If we'd gone into New York and swept the series? (Well, I would have done cartwheels), but then I would have lamented the loss fear mongering and scathing criticisms from our Boston sportswriters. Radio callers suggesting wild trades, J.D. Drew bashing.

We can't run away with the division, it's not good for our psyche. We're not the Braves of the nineties.

We need the worry.

-t

Email Exchange: Company Softball Edition

This post is dedicated to Felecia, who can't get enough softball posts.

---

The Players:
Ted: our starting pitcher. Nice guy, generally counted on to come up with the bright ideas (bringing a fully-stocked cooler, bringing a grill for mid-inning barbecue)
Harry: a grizzled old veteran, our captain
Amy, Bonnie, Cara, Steve: teammates
Adam: the jackass who ran into me at second base last game

oh, and me, Tom

---

Team,

Since not everyone on the team knows eachother that well, it may be a good idea to go out sometime. I was thinking that since we could use some practice as well, we could go to Good Times Emporium in Somerville (http://www.goodtimeemporium.com/). There is a bar, batting cages, pool tables and other stuff. Let me know what you think.

-Ted

Ted,

are we talking drinking practice or batting practice?
either way - I'm in as long as its a day when I can make it

-Amy

mmmm that's tough- i don't drink and the bar scene makes me uncomfortable.......
-Cara

If I've got nothing else planned, I'll be in. Does this place offer a senior discount, if I show them my AARP card?

-Harry

well Cara maybe some drinks would bring out your 2b skills....
i'll go!!!

-Bonnie

Great idea, let's try to plan this in advance in order to accomodate all schedules in mind. A Saturday at the cages followed by ice cold pints of quality European beers would make for a nice day. Remember, life is too short to drink cheap beer.

Cheers,
-Adam

Adam - European beers are supposed to be served room temperature. Not "icy cold."
-Tom


Actually it depends if its a lager, ale...etc. But having visited a true Berlin beer festival in Germany I would have to agree with that statement on some level.
-Adam

well it was nice playing with you all, looks like I am off the team - I prefer watery, tasteless, light, American beer! mmmmm USA! USA!
wait a minute wasn't it some "chilled piss in a can" that we all consumed the other night at the game?

-Bonnie

i agree with bonnie... i prefer watery, tasteless, light, american beer! and yes, we all consumed it over the past two games!
go bud light!

-cara

guys, how are we going to learn to play like a team, if we can't act like a team when interoffice emailing?????

-Amy

I support American beer - have some pride. [usaflag.gif]!

-Steve

---

He's a tool.

"Icy cold pints" indeed.

-t

Open letter to the MBTA: No one of intelligence thinks this is working

To whom it may concern at the Massachusetts Bay Transport Authority,

My bag was searched for explosive material this morning by your MBTA police at Oak Grove station.

So, tell me, was there a tip? Was there word from a local terrorist cell by way of a well-trained, well-placed MBTA counter-terrorism informant? If I get on that train is there a danger it's going to explode?

No? This is a random check? I think you're mixing up your terminology. "Random" isn't correct. The phrase you should be using is "completely and utterly pointless."

Was there a credible threat to commuters?

If so, please, please, search passenger bags. Oh, also, if you've got information that one of your trains might explode, I don't know, maybe TELL YOUR PASSENGERS! Because, you know what? I'm more than happy to walk back home on this rainy Friday and call in sick in lieu of a fiery death on the train.

If I were carrying a bomb in my backpack this morning, do you actually think I would voluntarily wait in line to let you search my bag?! No fucking way! As soon as I saw the thirty-three passengers waiting to have their bags swiped and analyzed I'd turn right around and head one mile over to Malden Center and board a train there!

Hell, you don't think some two-bit terrorist group would be coordinated enough to scout the train station before bringing a bomb in? You don't think they'd send in a guy with a cell phone before they sent in a guy with a bomb!?

"Hey, Bomb Guy? It's me, Cell-Phone Guy, they're searching bags - so, um, don't bring the bomb into the station."

You're idiots.

Maybe it wouldn't be a big deal if MBTA wasn't a laughing stock. When was the last time someone's ride into Downtown Crossing was ruined or delayed by an explosive device smuggled onto a train?

Wait, wait, I know this one... NEVER!

When was the last time someone's commute was delayed by MBTA ineptitude, shoddy signal equipment, lack of repairs, or a disabled train?

OH, I REMEMBER, LAST MONDAY MORNING (20 minutes), TUESDAY MORNING (20 minutes), TUESDAY NIGHT (one hour 30 minutes). And that's just me, off the top of my head, in the last week alone.

Why bother blowing up trains that don't work anyway!?

Do you feel this anger? Do you want a way to make the morning commute safer? How about rather than spending my fare money on two MBTA pretend cops searching my backpack (which, by the way, contains a hat, a book, a pen, some coins, and my cell phone), you instead provide your passengers with a complimentary cup of coffee? Free downloadable iTunes songs on the train? Trains that work?

Wait, I've got a better idea:

Why not just get out of my way?

-Tom

Bad baserunning, softball recap

It's the second inning, I hit a hard grounder to third and beat out the throw. That's my first hit of the season. (woo!)

I play first for a few innings. No problems. And we're totally in this game after the first three (which is a new thing for us, we're usually down by twelve or so by then).

Jump ahead, it's late in the game, we're down by two runs, no outs, two men on.

I step up to the plate. I swing and ground the ball sharply to the third baseman who fields the ball and steps on third for the force out. This brings my average down from .200 to .167.

Now, you may remember the story I told last week about a jackass who walked onto the field and took the ball from the pitcher. I think we've all agreed he's a jackass.

Well, it's not just us, readers, it's the rest of my softball team, too. They've started leaving him off of team-wide emails, and "forgetting" to give him a schedule, hoping he'll miss as many games as possible.

Well, he showed up last night. And he was hitting behind me in the batting order.

And folks, it's not about him being a bad player. That's ok. I'm a bad player (one error and a .167 BA four games into the season, ugh). It's about him being a jackass.

Earlier in the game he'd made a nice catch in left field, and he's a good solid hitter.

What he's not, is a team player. What he's not, is a listener. What he's not, is a smart baseball player.

To recap: It's late in the game, we're losing, but still in it. Runners on first (me) and second (some girl), one out. Jackass guy comes to the plate.

He hits the first pitch for a single to left field, a solid line drive over the shortstop's head. The runners are off on contact, and, almost immediately, the third base coach, and everyone on the bench throws their hands in the air. "Stay, stay!" they yell, and, to the first runner, "Hold at third!"

The left fielder had handled the ball cleanly on one bounce, the lead runner stopped at third, I stopped at second, and as soon as my foot touched the bag I turned around to put my hands in the air and yell "Hold at first! Stay!" to make sure the jackass guy knew what was going on.

But as I turn, what do I see, but the kid barrelling around first base, head down, running full-out, trying to get himself a triple on a short line drive!

"BACK!" I scream, "Get back to the bag!!" and then, I say

"uufff!!" as he RUNS INTO ME!! THE GUY STANDING STILL ON SECOND BASE!!

He knocked me off the bag!

At this point the left fielder, only about ten feet from the infield, had tossed the ball to the shortstop who promptly tagged the two of us near second base for an inning-ending double-play.

I couldn't believe it! I still don't believe it! Everyone in the park knew it was a one-base hit, everyone was yelling for the runners to hold. What the hell?

I stood there, totally bewildered. I was just staring at the ground as the other team trots off the field, this kid gets up, dusts himself off, and says "You should have been running."

I couldn't even look at him. "They were holding the runner at third," I said, with as much menace as I could muster through my shock.

"Well," he said, "she should have been running."

They were holding her at third! There was one out! YOU HIT A ONE-BOUNCER RIGHT AT THE LEFT FIELDER!

I couldn't believe it. The next inning they opened the game up and we lost by the slaughter rule in the sixth. But we had a shot until this moron ruined our chance at a rally.

I'm going to pop his tires before the next game.

-t


Season so far:
3 games, no wins
Batting average: .167 (1 for 7)
One error

Slugging Percentage

We played again last night. We lost. Our softball team is now 0-3 on the season (0-2 in games I've played).

I attribute this, mostly, to other teams in the league being vastly superior to our team. Also, yesterday, a bunch of jackasses showed up to play.

The problem with fielding a company team is that the company, personified by the team captain, is obligated to make an open call for players, and can't cut anyone.

People who like softball and want to have fun show up.

People who are good at softball and want to win show up.

People who think they're good at softball and are jackasses show up.

I hate that third group.

Apparently, during the first game, one of the jackasses walked from his position in right field to the pitchers mound, and took the ball from the pitcher. Took it out of his glove. "I'm pitching now" was the unspoken statement.

He proceded to walk three batters in a row, let up two singles, and walk two more batters.

He was one of the three jackasses to show up at last night's game. He insisted on playing first, and insisted on batting clean up. He went 0-2 with two errors on easy ground balls.

Now, as I was properly raised to respect authority, I defer to the team captain on batting order and positioning. I can't help it if the captain's a pushover, or just a nice guy who doesn't like confrontation.

It's one thing to be a jackass who hits (Bonds, Jeter, etc) and in that case I don't have a problem with him hitting cleanup, but, if you can't hit you should absolutely be punished an extra spot or two in the lineup for being a jackass.

The game went five innings, we lost by the slaughter rule, I had one at bat and struck out swinging on five pitches.

I also played right field for three innings and fielded three grounders cleanly, caught a long fly to end the third, and almost caught a long, high, foul ball to end the second (it was hit out of play to the bushes and I missed it by about four inches).

I played first base for two innings and was involved in two routine infield outs.

Second game:
Batting: 0-1, 1K,
Fielding: RF, 1B, no errors

-t

Tim McCarver, no longer sucks as a person (still sucks as color guy):

Hi, do you know me? I'm the Red Sox fan that hates Tim McCarver (and, parenthetically, Joe Buck). I hate his voice, I hate his pro-Yankee, anti-Red Sox slant, I hate his anecdotes.

But I just read something at Red Sox Chick that may redeem him:

"[I was] Watching the Yankees/Mariners game on Fox yesterday, Ken Rosenthal came out and said that it was a no-brainer, if Clemens wants to win another World Series, he goes to the Red Sox. Buck came back talking about how it wasn't about money and McCarver responded with "If it isn't about money, let him play for nothing.".

Tim McCarver has the Rocket's number."

Wow. I mean, come on, wow.

We all know Clemens needed to make a statement. The $28 million is the largest contract ever signed, which is exactly why it had to be $28 million - it's not the number "28" it's the adjective phrase "largest in the history of baseball."

Clemens is never going to retire. He won't stop playing until someone (probably in the Yankees organization) arranges for him to be cast in bronze (probably live, in the middle of an outing in front of thousands in the house that Ruth built).

I have no doubt the Yankees will put it back together by July. No doubt that every single one of their injured starters will come back to the regular rotation just in time to make a run for the pennant. They're the Yankees, it's what they pay to do.

But I can't see Clemens factoring in. All the numbers suggest he'll be a pitcher to match up against opposing front-of-the-rotation guys as only a five- to six-inning starter (albeit with a superb ERA), which bodes ill for the Yankees bullpen. I don't see how that's much different than what they were planning on with Igawa every fifth day, minus the shades.

The Red Sox already have a fifth starter averaging five innings at the back of their rotation, and (if I've estimated correctly) he's costing John Henry & Co. forty-five million dollars less than the luxury tax Steinbrenner is paying on the Rocket's contract.

And Tavarez this year is the guy the Red Sox have trotted out to throw against opposing aces Chien-Ming Wang, Johan Santana, and Roy Halladay (twice), and has gone 1-2 against them, not too shabby for a fifth starter.

The Yankees will win games because they've got the most powerful lineup in the bigs, top to bottom.

The Rocket will reclaim fame, notoriety, and infamy, because his ego won't let it be otherwise.

The Red Sox will win the World Series.

-t

I think Roger Clemens is a little confused:

I can't really explain it. Maybe Clemens hasn't actually been watching American League baseball since he retired to Texas...

Some snips from yesterday's press conference announcing Clemens has signed with the New York Yankees:

1. During his press conference, Clemens called Derek Jeter the greatest clutch hitter he's ever played with.

No, Roger, you're thinking of Big Papi, David Ortiz, of the Red Sox .


2. He said he could now hand the ball to the greatest reliever in the game, Mariano Rivera.

No, Roger, you're thinking of Jonathan Papelbon, of the Red Sox.


3. "Make no mistake," Clemens said later, "I'm here to help this franchise do the only thing it knows how to do, win a championship..."

Oops, it looks like you're the one who made the mistake, Roger - once again, you mean the Red Sox.


I'd like to be at the game when he realizes he's playing for the wrong team.

They've got full audio of the press conference over at LoHud.

Co-ed Company Softball

Tonight's my first company softball game.

I'm holding out hope it won't be lame, but we're playing in an uncompetitive, co-ed league.

You've all played in co-ed leagues before, right? The intramural flag football in college, the CYO volleyball games, what have you.

They are, perhaps by definition, lame. Peppered with ridiculous sexist rules adhered to by (usually) militant umpires or referees who must feel that lives hang in the balance on each and every call.

I certainly don't have any problem with women playing sports. I do have a problem with preferential, or down-right ludicrous, treatment of both the men and women who suffer under these guidelines.

To whit:

---

10.1 The league will adhere to the American Softball Association rule regarding walking a male batter when a female batter is on deck.

-When a male batter is walked with a female batter on deck, the male batter will be awarded second base.

-If there are less than two (2) outs, the female batter must bat. If there are two (2) outs, the female batter has the option of accepting an automatic walk or batting.

---

I want to play competitive ball. I don't like being handcuffed by trivial rules.

I say, if you're going to make distinctions between players, and those distinctions will play a role in the rules of the game, don't separate players into groups of "men" and "women," but rather, separate them into groups of "good" and "not good."

Field two teams. Anybody who sucks can go play in a league with automatic walks, free bases, ghost runners, four outfielders, "safety bags," and God bless them for it.

The rest of us just want to play softball.

-t

Update:

11:15 PM Back from the game. I had fun - and even if I didn't, I wouldn't be looking for a more competitive league, because I suck.

It might have something to do with not picking up a baseball or bat for six years.

I'm sure next game will be better. It could hardly be worse.

Tom's First Softball Game:
0-3 with 2K, 2 errors

Thoughts On: Benedict Brady and the Wild Thing*

Hey, this is just a quick sports related post.

Regarding Tom Brady and his Yankee cap:

Brady can wear whatever the hell he wants off the field as long as he keeps winning Super Bowls in a Patriot's uniform.

And that is where I stand on the matter.

Also, I think all of us following the Red Sox were really hoping Daisuke Matsuzaka's control would rub off on his new best friend Julian Tavarez, and not the other way around.

(Do I get the prize for "most obvious joke"?)

-t


*anybody know the Japanese equivalent for "Wild Thing"? Laura?

Round the Horn

NFL:
I've got to be honest with you. I'm buying into the hype. This piece over at the Herald really primed the pump, and I'm all set to see the Patriots score 115 touchdowns this season.

MLB:
And the Sox are in first in the AL East with the second-best record in baseball.

NBA:
I stayed up Sunday night to watch Golden State beat Dallas and take a 3-1 series lead. I'm pumped. I hate Dirk, and Cuban's really getting on my nerves. What is that, a playoff goatee? Stick to running your billion dollar financial empire, Cuban, leave the gross-looking facial hair to the guys on the court. And buy a suit, for crying out loud, or at least launder that faded navy blue t-shirt you've been wearing to every game.

Much as I hate to say it, the Suns probably take the title this year.

NHL:
Meh. It'd be nice for Drury to win a title with Buffalo. But I really don't care much at all. The NHL has too many teams, too long a season, and too few viewers. Open-up the ice (yes, even more), concentrate your talent pool, and stop putting expansion teams in the desert. (Actually, do whatever you want. I'm never going to get invested enough to muster real anger until the Bruins make the finals. I'd say that's about ten years from happening).

All other sports:
Are great.

-t