MLB Boston Red Sox 2008 Preview

2008 Red Sox Preview:

Offense:

Manny's the comeback kid this year, I expect above average HRs and RBIs this season, I expect the Sox pick up his option for next year, and he'll continue opening up to the media revealing, slowly but surely, that we really haven't been missing all that much.

Ortiz will recover nicely from the minor knee clean-up and will be the clutch hitter we've all come to expect. I dig the new longer hair and am putting the over-under on new beard styles at seven.

Pedroia and Ellsbury will start slow and level off at just over and just under.300 this year, respectively. We'll see 35 steals from Ellsbury and Lugo will be just behind him with 32.

More of the same from Youk, a sharp decline from Varitek (~.215), a decline in home run power from Lowell (though we'll still see the doubles and average).

Finally, the Moss, Crisp, and Drew platoon will be awkward for a month-and a half while Drew hovers near the Mendoza line, Crisp dips below it, and Francona can't justify defering to Drew's monster contract to keep Moss on the bench with a .310 average. After that we'll see Crisp released or traded for thirty cents on the dollar (couple-a minor leaguers, low draft pick or PTBNL) and Drew start to pick up that giant green f-ing wall in left field and turn into a double machine. Moss will be a good pinch-hitter off the bench and spell Ellsbury in center when needed.

Defense:

I'd like to start the 2008 Defensive Preview by stating that COCO CRISP WAS TOTALLY ROBBED OF THE GOLD GLOVE IN 2007! THEFT OF THE HIGHEST ORDER AND YOU VOTERS SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSEVES.

Ok, I predict that this year Youk will make some errors, Lowell will not boot 27 balls in the first two weeks of home games, Ellsbury will misjudge a few more fly balls in the triangle, Manny will still surprise runners with his arm (and national announcers with his high OF assist numbers), and Cash will be better than expected catching Wake.

Pitching

The Red Sox training staff should be commended for handling Beckett's back spasms as patiently and cautiously as they have. Slowing down the franchise pitcher's recovery can only help in the long run. We'll see him get roughed up in his first few starts (but I expect the big bats will be out in force and help kick-start his win total); we'll see him start to surge near the All-Star break, and finish strong through September.

Matsuzaka, though, will be another story. Until he stops nibbling and only throws what Varitek calls for, he's going to get hit all over the place. An ERA north of five isn't out of the question in the first half of the season. Expect quality starts and not much else. (Once he does start listening to Tek, though, he'll be absolutely lights out).


Buccholz has to work through rookie jitters. If he can lower expectations for himself, and just try for some quality starts I think we'll see him come into his own as the season progresses.

Colon is going to be the surprise pick-up of the season, the way he's been throwing the ball could see him get ten wins if he keeps a spot in the rotation (subbing for Buchholz early on, and Lester later).

And speaking of Lester, I fear the national media, and Boston sports radio, will continue to harp on his performance, expecting the next coming of Sandy Koufax, and lambasting him for being (just) a decent third or fourth starter. As always, if Lester can keep the ball in the zone he will be fine. He is his own worst enemy. (Though, you Sox fans may recall, when Lester was first called up for some spot starts he seemed to walk the bases loaded and then pitch brilliantly to get out of the jam. He was a left-handed Houdini with runners in scoring position. I therefore move that Francona calls for two intentional walks at the begining of every inning Lester's on the mound (or, to keep the pitch count down, intentional catcher's interference) and then we'll see some Cy Young caliber pitching!).

Wakefield will eat up innings and keep hitters guessing. I should go buy a Wakefield jersey.

Bullpen:

Papelbon will anchor a solid 'pen much like last year. We'll see more of Delcarmen in a set-up role, and Okajima will be used more as a specialist at the back end of the sixth and early seventh innings. I expect Brian Corey to make the roster, though I'd rather have Lopez, as I doubt he'd make it through waivers to Pawtucket. Timlin should be fine after his finger laceration recovers, and I'm sure the staff will watch him for signs of fatigue after the midpoint of the season.


Final numbers for the hurlers:
Beckett: 19-7 3.18
Matsuzaka: 16-13 4.80 (will lead the team in walks)
Lester: 15-14 4.40
Wakefield: 17-16 5.00
Buchholz: 12-6 3.33
Colon: 10-4 3.60
Papelbon: 2-2-33 1.70
Delcarmen: 3-1-5 2.00
Okajima: 3-0-2 2.50


Additional thoughts:

Colon will be the biggest (ha) story of the first half; Matsuzaka-mania will, again, control the media and merchandising; I expect good things from Moss, he's not too far away from an every-day position; Ellsbury's bat will heat up after an initial slump and his speed will continue to wow crowds; Papelbon will get progressively crazier off the mound (and stay just as scary on); Epstein will get shafted on the Crisp deal, because there isn't any way around it.

Standings:

I think Toronto's pitching could give us trouble, we've seen the Sox bat's go north and turn cold before, and Tampa will be trouble, Orioles will wind up dead last, and the Yankees, they are what they are, and I'm already sick of Steinbrenner the Second mouthing off.

American League	Natinal League
Angels win the West	Padres win the West
Tigers win the Central	Cubs win the Central
Sox win the East	Mets win the East
Indians win the Wild Card	Phillies win the Wild Card*

*I'd like to pick the Reds as a surprise Wild Card winner, but every single arm on Dusty Baker's pitching staff is going to fall off by September.

Leave your thoughts in the comments.

-t

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Hippies

There is a fifteen-foot retaining wall separating my back yard from my neighbors'. As kids we'd lose basketballs and baseballs and frisbees over the fence, and the family that lived on the other side, at the bottom of the wall, was always nice enough to throw them back over. They owned two little terriers that would race in circles around their yard, from the base of the wall, to their back door, and bark whenever we were out playing.

Our swingset was near the wall, and, if you were old enough, you could get the swing going so fast that it would seem like the high end of your backswing would carry you out over the wall, and your could stare twenty feet straight down to certain death (and two little terriers racing around in circles)(actually, I think the swing's furthest reach still put you two feet from the edge, but it sure seemed daring when you were nine).

There was also a big oak tree growing up from the wall, and in time, the root system started to weaken the concrete keeping our swingset, and ten tons of earth, from falling backward onto our neighbors' yard, so my parents hired a tree guy to come in with his crew and cut it down.

It took three days, if I'm remembering correctly, and was pretty awesome. There was one big guy with a chainsaw who oversaw all of the ropes, there was a little guy who had gone to tree-cutting college and spent all of his time swinging among the highest branches, and the crew leader, a bearded, long-haried hippie, Ted Smith.

Hang on, just received an email:
To: tom@work
From: sam@couchpotato

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This hippie woman on television just named her baby "Joy Increasing."

Her middle name is "Increasing."

Seriously. License to breed.

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Anyway, this crew leader had two kids, and, being a hippie, they had weird names. His daughter's name was Aurora Borealis Smith.

Which really isn't that bad at all. His son was Buck. I'm not making this up...

Buck Aroo Smith.

-t

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"Play (Chemically Enhanced) Ball!"

Work softball is back!

We've just completed our first email thread of the season discussing potential new names for our squad.

I propsed "The Bearded Wonders" for us, especially funny because no one on the team wears a beard (though, in my case, it's certainly not for lack of trying). Others included "Team Great!" (exclamation point included), "Strange Brew" (the favorite, and "Pedroia's Ping Pong Posse" (too long).

My suggestsion came in third in the voting, but it was a close race (McCain-Huckabee close). Luckily, this year, our team name won't feature any puns on performance enhancing drugs (BALCO Lab Rats, The Linseed Oilers, Mo'PEDS).

Up next, deciding on a uniform color. We wore blue last year (our rallying cry was "Go blue team!") but this year I'm pulling for red.

Because it will look totally great with my beard.

-t

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PORCINE POWDER PATCHES PICKLED POINTER

CBS News reports the amazing story of the regenerating finger. (via boingboing)

First ham; then bacon; now, spontaneous regrowth of human extremeties. Is there nothing the pig cannot accomplish?

A man slices off own finger while building model guillotine airplane.* Research scientist brother sends powdered pig's bladder to treat the wound. One month later the finger looks good as new.

This feat marks a long-awaited and exciting rebirth of the long-forgotten pseudo-science of miracle cure-all powders. Pull out that vial of powdered-rhino horn you've kept stashed in that trunk in your attic, it probably cures diabetes! Curbside peddlers take note: Powdered animal bladder has been proven to work, and the sky's the limit for the next wunder-snuff! Powdered duck galbladders! Pulverized meerkat kidneys! Chicken lungs aren't just for Chicken McNuggets anymore!

Expect a boom in mystery exlirs, salves, and ointments in the coming years, invest wisely. It's only a matter of time before the next Bill Gates makes his fortune crushing dehydrated aardvark intestines, and you'll want in on the ground floor!

In five years everyday expressions "like watching paint dry" could be replaced by "like watching limbs regenerate."

And it's not too great a leap to posit a breakthough in computer science allowing the ability to download a lifetime of memories to portable bio-computer leading to the entire human population plugging in and eternally regrowing host bodies for millenia, ushering in an epoch of peace and exploration the universe has never experienced! Get ready Milky Way! Johnny Mnemonic isn't just a pipedream anymore!

Nothing quite captures the imagination like immortality, with a side of bacon. Welcome, readers, to the new world.

-t

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* - Editor's note:
Originally reported, hilariously, as "model guillotine."
Corrected to read, confusingly, "model airplane."
How the hell do you lop off a fingertip with nothing but cheap plastic and crazy glue?[back]

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Very Important Information concerning March 25, 2008

A list of Boston Bars open for the Red Sox season opener in Japan, tomorrow, Tuesday March 25, 2008, at 6 AM Eastern (from Boston You're My Home via U-hub):

Game On at 82 Lansdowne St at 5:30 AM
Daisy Buchanan’s at 240 Newbury at 6 AM
Anchovies at 433 Columbus Avenue at 6 AM
Pour House at 907 Boylston St at 5:30 AM
The Avenue at 1249 Commonwealth, Allston at 6 AM

(check the link above for updates in the comments section)

By law alcohol service cannot begin before 8AM which should leave all you Sox fans plenty of time to get wasted before heading to work at the usual hour.

That's all for now.

-Tom

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Hang-gliding: A Brief Report

Having not updated in a while I decided to regale you all, my readers, with a story about how tired I am, as that is, seemingly, my now permantent conscious (almost wrote, "waking") state.

But! that's boring. Tired is boring.

Instead, I'll recount a dream I had once:

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I was hang-gliding.

I'm in first-person view mode, none of this out-of-body experience mumbo-jumbo. I know I was hang gliding because I could see my arms holding the steering bar, I could look up and see the point of the hang glider above me, symmetrical stripes radiating from the point, blue, orange, red, yellow. Feel the wind on my face.

It's a bright sunny day. It's hot, though not as hot here in the glider as it is down on the ground. Also, markedly less humid, I assume.

I'm flying over the city of Miami, along the coast. There are a few very tall buildings, what I assume are hotels, a strip of pavement, white sand, and the sea green/blue water. I can just barely make out brightly colored beach towels and the white V's of speed boat wakes.

The feeling of flight is exhilarating. For fun, and to see if I can exercise any control over the sensation, I pull on the bar and soar up on the warm air currents to gain altitude. Then I dive, lower than is safe, and back up again.

It's a tandem hang glider, and strapped in next to me is Toucan Sam. From the Fruit Loops box.

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-t

recommended download:
Flogging Molly, Lightning Storm

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Novelties

I've got nothing significant to report today, and work has been muddling along same as always for a couple of weeks in a row. So here are some new things:

New Stuff:

Flogging Molly Float

It seems every release is better than the previous album. I like every song on this disc and have had five or six stuck in my head over the weekend.

The cradle was damaged, dug by the grave
Where you lie in the sin, for mortal's the soul
Forgive me this, Father, before I go cold
From burden of grief and all I regret
Spare me the conscience before I forget

Now I'm just hoping to see a Rock Band download featuring Flogging Molly for St. Patrick's Day (Hear that, Harmonix? Get on it!)

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Steve Martin Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life

I started reading this on the train this morning and have already finished the first third of the book. The introduction calls the book an autobiography, but it lacks the detail, and instead reads ike a memoir (or memoirette) of Martin's stand-up career, jumping from highlight to highlight, rather than recounting a blow-by-blow of each performance, or delving into any of the primary or supporting characters. Martin introduces his family with thin cross-sections and covers his early childhood in ten pages.



It seems a well-written, well-edited reflection on Martin's club career, and I look forward to absorbing the rest. The most enjoyable aspect is Martin's insight into his own motivations, and the origins and elements he incorporated into his stand-up routine.

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Next up on the list is a monster two-thousand page tome Quicksilver, by Neil Stephenson, and Moby Dick, by Melville.

-t

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Emergency Communique

To: Tom@work
From: Samantha@home
Subject: Emergency Alert

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A firetruck with lights and sirens just drove by my house at the exact moment the television did a test of the Emergency Alert System.

All the sirens at once. Just a little terrifying. :-p

~Sam

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Endless Rock

So, ask me what I did all day Saturday?

I played Rock Band a little.

And when I say "a little," I mean, "the whole freakin' day."

See, here's what happened. I thought, let's throw Rock Band into the Xbox, play a few songs, then see if there's any good cartoons on tv.

So we played a few songs, earned some stars, and unlocked "The Endless Set!" and I thought, hey, that's pretty cool.

I was wrong.

The endless set is 58 songs. Fifty-eight! Ok, so, imagine something you like... Playing Wii Sports. Eating a chocolate cake with frosting. Playing a game of racquet ball. Your girlfriend.

Now imagine doing it fifty-eight times. In a row.

It took the whole freakin' day! We played fifteen songs. I paused it, and took a break. Got a drink. Played another ten songs. Ten. Songs. Songs that are like, six and seven minutes long. That is seventy minutes, for the ten songs. That is more than an hour. Plus the fifteen before that. AND I WASN'T EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH.

This game is totally awesome. We kept plugging away. The halfway mark was awesome. We were all "woo! halfway done! only four more hours of songs!" (the songs kept getting longer and longer).

Let me tell you. At nine-thirty, almost ten hours later, we certainly appreciated the name of the achievement.

I have taken a break from Rock Band for a few days.


Just kidding. I'm about to fire it up right now.

-t