PLEASE RESUME POSTING

Bwahaha. I can see my reeder at work! Victory!


I can, once again, read new posts without clicking through outmoded and outdated html hyperlinks!

Thanks for holding off posting your news/feelings/life developments these past two-and-a-half months while I sorted out these RSS difficulties. So you can all start updating your blogs again.



-t

19

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According to IMDB.com trivia I'm too tall to be an astronaut

Have I been reading something that's totally awesome? YES.

Here's a bit that should capture your imagination:

A few weekends ago I randomly spend a morning checking out the website of the International Space Station, and I get caught up in the ship’s logs from Expedition One, which was up there from October 2000 until March 2001.

The logs were not originally intended for public view — many entries contain redacted passages, and for the most part they’re just dry, militarily-terse accounts of the various acronym-heavy technical tasks and endless troubleshootings that occupy all hours of the day. But I’m impressed to see that the crew (one American and two Russians) nevertheless often takes a moment to log the movies they watch together during their down time, occasionally offering a bit of commentary on each one.

As I read, I kind of forget about the grandeur of space exploration and instead try to imagine what the hell it must be like to watch Apocalypse Now and The Big Lebowski and 2001 (not to mention “Lethal Weapon Week”) while crowded around a circa-2000 government laptop in a cramped, smelly zero-gravity tin can in Low Earth Orbit. (Smacks more than a little of Mystery Science Theater 3000. We got Movie Sign?)

link to the entry, via kottke

Follow the link for the excerpted passages. Some great bits in there, like:

6 FEB 2001: We ate some dinner and watched the last part of "City of Angels". Shep did his best to explain to Yuri and Sergei what the phrase "chick flick" means.

-t

20

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Craziest Thing I've Never Done (But It's On My List)

I took yesterday off - because it's Patriot's Day here in Massachusetts, and that's what you do: Take the day off, drink beer, and cheer for the marathon runners - or, if you're me, and crazy - wake up at 4AM, drive to Lexington, and watch the re-enactment of the Battle of Lexington and Concord.

Which is all well in its patriotly goodness, but, my abscence has convinced a few of the folks I work with that I was not, in fact, home watching the Red Sox beat the snot out of the Texas Rangers, but instead, was running, voluntarily, 26 miles through the streets of Greater Boston.

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"Hey, Tom, did you run the marathon yesterday?"

What? No.

"You ran it, didn't you? That's why you were out?"

Do I look like I ran a marathon yesterday? Do I look like I could have run a marathon yesterday?

"How did you finish? What was your time? - I'm looking your name up online right now."

Ok, you won't find me. I didn't run.

"Come on, just tell me."

I'm not going to lie and say I ran it when I didn't.

"I would. You look like you could have run it. I'd say 'no' if you were like two-fifty, but you're not."

Dude, seriously, I didn't run the marathon.

---

So...anyobody know anyone who did run? I'm looking for an official number. I'll come in tomorrow and discreetly hang it up in my cubicle.

-t

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Big Papi/Yankees: Clubhouse Curse

Punk construction worker buries a David Ortiz jersey in the floor of the visitor's clubhouse in the new Yankee Stadium.

David Ortiz is in the slump of his career, hitting 0.070, just one hit in his last 29 at bats.

Superstitious Yankees dig up the Ortiz jersey.

I posit, that the jersey did not, in fact, jinx the Yankees, but rather, jinxed our favorite home town slugger, Mr. David Ortiz, and THEREFORE when he re-enters the lineup he WILL TEAR IT UP.

So, please, a message to Sox fans who happen to be working construction, STOP TRYING TO JINX THE YANKEES. It's going to backfire. That's karma. Educate yourselves.

-t

22

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One-Eyed Frank

Sam and I planned to atten a performance Saturday night at the Improv Asylum. Before we got there, though, we had to get there.

We had tickets for the eight o'clock show. The Red Sox played at 3:45PM. Plenty of time, I thought, even with the average Sox/Yanks game lasting 3.5 hours.

Around about the fourth inning it started raining outside the apartment, the rain headed into the city of Boston, no doubt, the torrent certain to cause a delay unless they wrapped up the next three innings in ten pitches or so (not going to happen with Youk, Drew, Pedroia, Manny...)(ok, with that lineup, it's not going to happen unless Lugo bats nine times in a row).

The rain holds off, until the eighth, just as they call Papelbon in for a four out save. Downpour - out comes the tarp.

We can't stay for the end of the game and still make the improv show, so we head to the train, and I call some people to make sure I get updates on the Fenway situation throughout the night.

As we arrive at the train station I calculate that we have exactly enough time to get on the train, ride to Haymarket, and pick up our tickets.

What I forgot to factor in was the shuttle bus running in place of the train on the Orange Line (every weekend from here to the end of time, it seems).

Luckily, for us, the herky-jerky bus trip didn't delay us overmuch, and the Improv show started nearer 8:05PM, so we had no trouble grabbing some drinks and finding our seats.

The show was hilarious.

-AND- they totally used one of my suggestions for a bit!

Ok, so the crowd was a bit...lackluster. The majority of folks were attached to a tame bachelorette party (who knew beforehand that the Improv players were going to call up the bride-to-be for an embarassing skit, which seemed to be the only part of the show they were really into), and there were also some elderly grandmother types (one who couldn't stop herself grooving to the hip-hop beat laid down by the DJ between sketches).

There was also a family celebrating their son's fourteenth birthday who gets nominated for "Line of the Night" with his response to the Improv actress asking why he hadn't been calling her: "Well, I've been kinda busy, it's tax time." The kid's quick on his feet.

Anyway, as they came back from intermission they called out to the audience to suggest a location that would fit on the stage. I yelled out (so as not to be drowned out by the non-existent participation from the rest of the audience) "Pirate ship!" and the MC turned and was all "YES! Your shit is totally on top of it tonight! Awesome!"

The skit highlighted a be-hooked unlucky-in-love pirate captain named One-Eyed Frank.

So that was pretty cool.

On the train bus home Samantha and I sat next to a drunk baseball fan. How'd we know he was a baseball fan? As he blearily eyed the passengers on the bus, he raised his fist in solidarity with an older woman in a Yankee warm-up jacket. "You're a Yankee fan?" he slurred, "We're outnumbered here."

He then went on to describe to the man sitting opposite that he had grown up next door to Manny Ramirez in New York, and Manny used to hang out with him as a kid. And play baseball with him. And...fell asleep.

Go Sox.

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23

Early Weekend Remarks

It's Saturday morning. Samantha is sitting next to me on the couch, apropos of nothing she says:

"I'm so easy to get blood out of."

I think this is going to be a pretty good weekend.

-t

24

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Self-Congratulatory

It is with great pleasure, today, that I note I am nearing my millenial post here at the web log. This self-congratulatory announcement will serve as post number nine hundred seventy-five.

I will therefore take this opportunity to offer, from you, the readers, to me, your beloved author, your thanks and appreciation for my unflagging devotion to posts and updates of highest quality, voluminous quantity, and wondrous oddity. That I have accomplished so much, so quickly, and with, seemingly, so little help (or audience), speaks heartily to the vast powers of the internet and my indubious ability to harness those powers in order to provide such terrific stuffs on such a regular, uninterrupted, pace.

To celebrate this momentous occassion a countdown and preparations for some type of festive parade will be initiated.

I will also take this opportunity to accept your thanks and appreciation. Let the countdown begin.

25

In the meantime, I encourage you, my loyal readers, as always, to look to your own approaching milestones, or, if you have none, to embark upon a carefully considered and well-chosen journey, literal or metaphorical, perhaps a journey where private reflection and personal growth can be paired with a blossoming new-media outlet to provide public entertainment. Or you could start a blog. There are lots of tracks, and many markers along the ways - So, thank you, for trailing along behind me, in the cloud of dust raised by my steady, marching footsteps, to this one.

-Tom

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Great Way To Kill Time And Remind Yourself How Smart You Used To Be In College

How I've been spending my time:

How many elements can you name? (I logged a dismal 35 elements)

Check out the other links on the site, highlights include:

Name the countries in:

1. Europe


2. Asia


3. Africa


4. South America (I forgot two, and named an extra six that are actually in Central America)

Name all the major leage baseball teams, US Presidents

and more!


Seriously, it's just a bit addicting, and I'm almost ashamed to admit I did better on Tom Hanks movies than I did naming the Presidents.

-t

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MLB Boston Red Sox 2008 Preview

2008 Red Sox Preview:

Offense:

Manny's the comeback kid this year, I expect above average HRs and RBIs this season, I expect the Sox pick up his option for next year, and he'll continue opening up to the media revealing, slowly but surely, that we really haven't been missing all that much.

Ortiz will recover nicely from the minor knee clean-up and will be the clutch hitter we've all come to expect. I dig the new longer hair and am putting the over-under on new beard styles at seven.

Pedroia and Ellsbury will start slow and level off at just over and just under.300 this year, respectively. We'll see 35 steals from Ellsbury and Lugo will be just behind him with 32.

More of the same from Youk, a sharp decline from Varitek (~.215), a decline in home run power from Lowell (though we'll still see the doubles and average).

Finally, the Moss, Crisp, and Drew platoon will be awkward for a month-and a half while Drew hovers near the Mendoza line, Crisp dips below it, and Francona can't justify defering to Drew's monster contract to keep Moss on the bench with a .310 average. After that we'll see Crisp released or traded for thirty cents on the dollar (couple-a minor leaguers, low draft pick or PTBNL) and Drew start to pick up that giant green f-ing wall in left field and turn into a double machine. Moss will be a good pinch-hitter off the bench and spell Ellsbury in center when needed.

Defense:

I'd like to start the 2008 Defensive Preview by stating that COCO CRISP WAS TOTALLY ROBBED OF THE GOLD GLOVE IN 2007! THEFT OF THE HIGHEST ORDER AND YOU VOTERS SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSEVES.

Ok, I predict that this year Youk will make some errors, Lowell will not boot 27 balls in the first two weeks of home games, Ellsbury will misjudge a few more fly balls in the triangle, Manny will still surprise runners with his arm (and national announcers with his high OF assist numbers), and Cash will be better than expected catching Wake.

Pitching

The Red Sox training staff should be commended for handling Beckett's back spasms as patiently and cautiously as they have. Slowing down the franchise pitcher's recovery can only help in the long run. We'll see him get roughed up in his first few starts (but I expect the big bats will be out in force and help kick-start his win total); we'll see him start to surge near the All-Star break, and finish strong through September.

Matsuzaka, though, will be another story. Until he stops nibbling and only throws what Varitek calls for, he's going to get hit all over the place. An ERA north of five isn't out of the question in the first half of the season. Expect quality starts and not much else. (Once he does start listening to Tek, though, he'll be absolutely lights out).


Buccholz has to work through rookie jitters. If he can lower expectations for himself, and just try for some quality starts I think we'll see him come into his own as the season progresses.

Colon is going to be the surprise pick-up of the season, the way he's been throwing the ball could see him get ten wins if he keeps a spot in the rotation (subbing for Buchholz early on, and Lester later).

And speaking of Lester, I fear the national media, and Boston sports radio, will continue to harp on his performance, expecting the next coming of Sandy Koufax, and lambasting him for being (just) a decent third or fourth starter. As always, if Lester can keep the ball in the zone he will be fine. He is his own worst enemy. (Though, you Sox fans may recall, when Lester was first called up for some spot starts he seemed to walk the bases loaded and then pitch brilliantly to get out of the jam. He was a left-handed Houdini with runners in scoring position. I therefore move that Francona calls for two intentional walks at the begining of every inning Lester's on the mound (or, to keep the pitch count down, intentional catcher's interference) and then we'll see some Cy Young caliber pitching!).

Wakefield will eat up innings and keep hitters guessing. I should go buy a Wakefield jersey.

Bullpen:

Papelbon will anchor a solid 'pen much like last year. We'll see more of Delcarmen in a set-up role, and Okajima will be used more as a specialist at the back end of the sixth and early seventh innings. I expect Brian Corey to make the roster, though I'd rather have Lopez, as I doubt he'd make it through waivers to Pawtucket. Timlin should be fine after his finger laceration recovers, and I'm sure the staff will watch him for signs of fatigue after the midpoint of the season.


Final numbers for the hurlers:
Beckett: 19-7 3.18
Matsuzaka: 16-13 4.80 (will lead the team in walks)
Lester: 15-14 4.40
Wakefield: 17-16 5.00
Buchholz: 12-6 3.33
Colon: 10-4 3.60
Papelbon: 2-2-33 1.70
Delcarmen: 3-1-5 2.00
Okajima: 3-0-2 2.50


Additional thoughts:

Colon will be the biggest (ha) story of the first half; Matsuzaka-mania will, again, control the media and merchandising; I expect good things from Moss, he's not too far away from an every-day position; Ellsbury's bat will heat up after an initial slump and his speed will continue to wow crowds; Papelbon will get progressively crazier off the mound (and stay just as scary on); Epstein will get shafted on the Crisp deal, because there isn't any way around it.

Standings:

I think Toronto's pitching could give us trouble, we've seen the Sox bat's go north and turn cold before, and Tampa will be trouble, Orioles will wind up dead last, and the Yankees, they are what they are, and I'm already sick of Steinbrenner the Second mouthing off.

American League	Natinal League
Angels win the West	Padres win the West
Tigers win the Central	Cubs win the Central
Sox win the East	Mets win the East
Indians win the Wild Card	Phillies win the Wild Card*

*I'd like to pick the Reds as a surprise Wild Card winner, but every single arm on Dusty Baker's pitching staff is going to fall off by September.

Leave your thoughts in the comments.

-t

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Hippies

There is a fifteen-foot retaining wall separating my back yard from my neighbors'. As kids we'd lose basketballs and baseballs and frisbees over the fence, and the family that lived on the other side, at the bottom of the wall, was always nice enough to throw them back over. They owned two little terriers that would race in circles around their yard, from the base of the wall, to their back door, and bark whenever we were out playing.

Our swingset was near the wall, and, if you were old enough, you could get the swing going so fast that it would seem like the high end of your backswing would carry you out over the wall, and your could stare twenty feet straight down to certain death (and two little terriers racing around in circles)(actually, I think the swing's furthest reach still put you two feet from the edge, but it sure seemed daring when you were nine).

There was also a big oak tree growing up from the wall, and in time, the root system started to weaken the concrete keeping our swingset, and ten tons of earth, from falling backward onto our neighbors' yard, so my parents hired a tree guy to come in with his crew and cut it down.

It took three days, if I'm remembering correctly, and was pretty awesome. There was one big guy with a chainsaw who oversaw all of the ropes, there was a little guy who had gone to tree-cutting college and spent all of his time swinging among the highest branches, and the crew leader, a bearded, long-haried hippie, Ted Smith.

Hang on, just received an email:
To: tom@work
From: sam@couchpotato

---

This hippie woman on television just named her baby "Joy Increasing."

Her middle name is "Increasing."

Seriously. License to breed.

---

Anyway, this crew leader had two kids, and, being a hippie, they had weird names. His daughter's name was Aurora Borealis Smith.

Which really isn't that bad at all. His son was Buck. I'm not making this up...

Buck Aroo Smith.

-t

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"Play (Chemically Enhanced) Ball!"

Work softball is back!

We've just completed our first email thread of the season discussing potential new names for our squad.

I propsed "The Bearded Wonders" for us, especially funny because no one on the team wears a beard (though, in my case, it's certainly not for lack of trying). Others included "Team Great!" (exclamation point included), "Strange Brew" (the favorite, and "Pedroia's Ping Pong Posse" (too long).

My suggestsion came in third in the voting, but it was a close race (McCain-Huckabee close). Luckily, this year, our team name won't feature any puns on performance enhancing drugs (BALCO Lab Rats, The Linseed Oilers, Mo'PEDS).

Up next, deciding on a uniform color. We wore blue last year (our rallying cry was "Go blue team!") but this year I'm pulling for red.

Because it will look totally great with my beard.

-t

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PORCINE POWDER PATCHES PICKLED POINTER

CBS News reports the amazing story of the regenerating finger. (via boingboing)

First ham; then bacon; now, spontaneous regrowth of human extremeties. Is there nothing the pig cannot accomplish?

A man slices off own finger while building model guillotine airplane.* Research scientist brother sends powdered pig's bladder to treat the wound. One month later the finger looks good as new.

This feat marks a long-awaited and exciting rebirth of the long-forgotten pseudo-science of miracle cure-all powders. Pull out that vial of powdered-rhino horn you've kept stashed in that trunk in your attic, it probably cures diabetes! Curbside peddlers take note: Powdered animal bladder has been proven to work, and the sky's the limit for the next wunder-snuff! Powdered duck galbladders! Pulverized meerkat kidneys! Chicken lungs aren't just for Chicken McNuggets anymore!

Expect a boom in mystery exlirs, salves, and ointments in the coming years, invest wisely. It's only a matter of time before the next Bill Gates makes his fortune crushing dehydrated aardvark intestines, and you'll want in on the ground floor!

In five years everyday expressions "like watching paint dry" could be replaced by "like watching limbs regenerate."

And it's not too great a leap to posit a breakthough in computer science allowing the ability to download a lifetime of memories to portable bio-computer leading to the entire human population plugging in and eternally regrowing host bodies for millenia, ushering in an epoch of peace and exploration the universe has never experienced! Get ready Milky Way! Johnny Mnemonic isn't just a pipedream anymore!

Nothing quite captures the imagination like immortality, with a side of bacon. Welcome, readers, to the new world.

-t

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* - Editor's note:
Originally reported, hilariously, as "model guillotine."
Corrected to read, confusingly, "model airplane."
How the hell do you lop off a fingertip with nothing but cheap plastic and crazy glue?[back]

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Very Important Information concerning March 25, 2008

A list of Boston Bars open for the Red Sox season opener in Japan, tomorrow, Tuesday March 25, 2008, at 6 AM Eastern (from Boston You're My Home via U-hub):

Game On at 82 Lansdowne St at 5:30 AM
Daisy Buchanan’s at 240 Newbury at 6 AM
Anchovies at 433 Columbus Avenue at 6 AM
Pour House at 907 Boylston St at 5:30 AM
The Avenue at 1249 Commonwealth, Allston at 6 AM

(check the link above for updates in the comments section)

By law alcohol service cannot begin before 8AM which should leave all you Sox fans plenty of time to get wasted before heading to work at the usual hour.

That's all for now.

-Tom

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Hang-gliding: A Brief Report

Having not updated in a while I decided to regale you all, my readers, with a story about how tired I am, as that is, seemingly, my now permantent conscious (almost wrote, "waking") state.

But! that's boring. Tired is boring.

Instead, I'll recount a dream I had once:

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I was hang-gliding.

I'm in first-person view mode, none of this out-of-body experience mumbo-jumbo. I know I was hang gliding because I could see my arms holding the steering bar, I could look up and see the point of the hang glider above me, symmetrical stripes radiating from the point, blue, orange, red, yellow. Feel the wind on my face.

It's a bright sunny day. It's hot, though not as hot here in the glider as it is down on the ground. Also, markedly less humid, I assume.

I'm flying over the city of Miami, along the coast. There are a few very tall buildings, what I assume are hotels, a strip of pavement, white sand, and the sea green/blue water. I can just barely make out brightly colored beach towels and the white V's of speed boat wakes.

The feeling of flight is exhilarating. For fun, and to see if I can exercise any control over the sensation, I pull on the bar and soar up on the warm air currents to gain altitude. Then I dive, lower than is safe, and back up again.

It's a tandem hang glider, and strapped in next to me is Toucan Sam. From the Fruit Loops box.

---

-t

recommended download:
Flogging Molly, Lightning Storm

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Novelties

I've got nothing significant to report today, and work has been muddling along same as always for a couple of weeks in a row. So here are some new things:

New Stuff:

Flogging Molly Float

It seems every release is better than the previous album. I like every song on this disc and have had five or six stuck in my head over the weekend.

The cradle was damaged, dug by the grave
Where you lie in the sin, for mortal's the soul
Forgive me this, Father, before I go cold
From burden of grief and all I regret
Spare me the conscience before I forget

Now I'm just hoping to see a Rock Band download featuring Flogging Molly for St. Patrick's Day (Hear that, Harmonix? Get on it!)

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Steve Martin Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life

I started reading this on the train this morning and have already finished the first third of the book. The introduction calls the book an autobiography, but it lacks the detail, and instead reads ike a memoir (or memoirette) of Martin's stand-up career, jumping from highlight to highlight, rather than recounting a blow-by-blow of each performance, or delving into any of the primary or supporting characters. Martin introduces his family with thin cross-sections and covers his early childhood in ten pages.



It seems a well-written, well-edited reflection on Martin's club career, and I look forward to absorbing the rest. The most enjoyable aspect is Martin's insight into his own motivations, and the origins and elements he incorporated into his stand-up routine.

---

Next up on the list is a monster two-thousand page tome Quicksilver, by Neil Stephenson, and Moby Dick, by Melville.

-t

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Emergency Communique

To: Tom@work
From: Samantha@home
Subject: Emergency Alert

---

A firetruck with lights and sirens just drove by my house at the exact moment the television did a test of the Emergency Alert System.

All the sirens at once. Just a little terrifying. :-p

~Sam

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Endless Rock

So, ask me what I did all day Saturday?

I played Rock Band a little.

And when I say "a little," I mean, "the whole freakin' day."

See, here's what happened. I thought, let's throw Rock Band into the Xbox, play a few songs, then see if there's any good cartoons on tv.

So we played a few songs, earned some stars, and unlocked "The Endless Set!" and I thought, hey, that's pretty cool.

I was wrong.

The endless set is 58 songs. Fifty-eight! Ok, so, imagine something you like... Playing Wii Sports. Eating a chocolate cake with frosting. Playing a game of racquet ball. Your girlfriend.

Now imagine doing it fifty-eight times. In a row.

It took the whole freakin' day! We played fifteen songs. I paused it, and took a break. Got a drink. Played another ten songs. Ten. Songs. Songs that are like, six and seven minutes long. That is seventy minutes, for the ten songs. That is more than an hour. Plus the fifteen before that. AND I WASN'T EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH.

This game is totally awesome. We kept plugging away. The halfway mark was awesome. We were all "woo! halfway done! only four more hours of songs!" (the songs kept getting longer and longer).

Let me tell you. At nine-thirty, almost ten hours later, we certainly appreciated the name of the achievement.

I have taken a break from Rock Band for a few days.


Just kidding. I'm about to fire it up right now.

-t

Time Served

Folks, this is just a friendly reminder to disregard all of those newspaper articles and blog posts claiming today is an "extra" day in the calendar year. Those reports are totally bogus.

Leap Day isn't a bonus, it's backpay.

The earth orbits the sun once every 365.25 "days" (a roughly 24hr period) and since man decided to start counting, he has tried to cram everything into nice ordered little boxes.

Doesn't work. Nature's more complicated. That extra time gets taken away from you in non-leap years! Taken away.

So, don't celebrate leap year and do something crazy because this is a day you wouldn't otherwise have, instead, get indignant! This is a day owed you by the calendar-mongers, and time-keepers.

Every year! A quarter of a day taken away from you! Just think what you could do with that time when it was fresh! Not stored away for years until there's enough of it to see clearly. A quarter day means 6 more hours of sleep January 1st after your New Year's Hangover! 6 hours!

You could use that time to study for your final exams the night before! No more cramming!

You could spread it out and never be late for work!

What would I do? Well, I'd probably save up until I had a whole days worth. And then treat it like a bonus day.

Besides, if I had to carry it around all year with me I might lose it.

-t

More Weight! (in the form of little gold statuettes)

Time for a review of my predictions for the Eightieth Academy Awards.

Best Picture

I'd say it's a toss-up between There Will Be Blood and No Country for Old Men -- I'm picking NCFOM to take it.

My pick: No Country for Old Men
Winner: No Country for Old Men



Best Director

I'm picking the Coens in this category. This may be because NCFOM was brilliantly directed, or because I've recently seen The Big Lebowski.

My pick: Joel Coen and Ethan Coen - No Country for Old Men
Winner: Joel Coen and Ethan Coen - No Country for Old Men


Best Actor

I thought Day-Lewis got shafted for Gangs of New York and anyone who didn't vote for him then will certainly vote for him now, putting him over the top.

My pick: Daniel Day-Lewis - There Will Be Blood
Winner: Daniel Day-Lewis - There Will Be Blood


Best Actress

No idea on this one...I'm going with the foreign language title - Marion Cotillard.

My pick: Marion Cotillard - La Vie en Rose (La môme)
Winner: Marion Cotillard - La Vie en Rose (La môme)


Best Supporting Actor

Javier Bardem for this award, but Michael Clayton seems to be a favorite among critics...I'm still picking the Western.

My pick: Javier Bardem - No Country for Old Men
Winner: Javier Bardem - No Country for Old Men


Best Supporting Actress

But I have seen I'm Not There and Cate Blanchett was absolutely amazing as rock 'n roll star Bob Dylan. She runs away with it.

My pick: Cate Blanchett - I'm Not There
Winner: Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton


Best Original Screenplay

Juno was good, but come on, a story about a guy falling in love with a life-size doll?

My pick: Lars and the Real Girl - Nancy Oliver
Winner: Juno - Diablo Cody


Best Adapted Screenplay

NCFOM is two-to-one, and the other to movies split the remaining odds (eight to one each)...(I could probably be a bookie -- I understand fractions. [edit] I understand fractions, but I may not really know how they apply to odds. Maybe I couldn't be a bookie. Or, maybe I could, but my odds would be fair and I'd never make any money)

My pick: No Country for Old Men - Joel and Ethan Coen
Winner: No Country for Old Men - Joel and Ethan Coen


Some closing thoughts:

Best Animated Movie is a stupid category. If your animated movie isn't good enough to get nominated for a real category (Disney's Beauty and the Beast 1991 Best Song, Best Original Score Winner, Best Picture nominee) you should just be happy for the millions of parents who'll be forking over $25 a pop for the DVD to shut up their whiny spoiled brats instead of plying the Academy with yacht rides and solid gold chocolate bars so they'd invent a category that can only support two thirds of a movie every year.

Disney might get another Original Song, since three-fifths of the nominees in that category are Enchanted. [edit - but it's my understanding they totally suck][update - Enchanted lost]

Oh, and just so you know, of the nominated movies discussed above, I've [still] only seen Juno and I'm Not There. I liked them both. (I really liked Juno).



[Final Word]

I only missed two categories, and it's my belief Cate Blanchett's statue was wrongly awarded to Tilda Swinton because, come on, she's famous, and did a good job, and CB has like, four little gold guys already, right? So I'm not really wrong, I just forgot to factor in previous winnings vs. Irish descent. No biggie. I definitely missed the Juno screenplay win, so that's a legit miss.

Any votes on best dressed?

-t

All-Points-Bulletin

I'm too tired to do most all of the work on my desk right now. And there is certainly a lot of it.

Dozens of problems, and hundreds of trades due to the audit cycle for two of the most active funds, and we've got another fund (a big one) that is selling off all of its holdings. Liquidating everything. I imagine some Hedge Fund Advisor somewhere owes a lot of money to some somebodies and is trying to cash in while the cashing is good (and all of his bones are still unbroken).

Incidentally, I'm in the middle of a book about Murder Incorporated, the enforcement and contract killing arm of the national crime syndicate ("The Syndicate") in the 1930s and 40s. The stories are incredible. Every two-and-a-half pages they detail another gangland execution and I've got to imagine screenwriters would be tripping over themselves trying to write these up into guaranteed hits staring all of Hollywood's tough guys. None of this Tom Hanks as a gunman baloney. The Coen brothers would be a shoo-in to direct anything from this narrative. Or Coppola.

And another thing! The language is amazing! I'd love to hear this book as told by the original author (B. Turkus, a NYC ADA) instead of reading the transcript. I think people really did talk like this, everyday, not just in the movies:

There was no method of murder their fiendish ingenuity overlooked. They used the gun, the strangling rope, the ice pick -- commonplace tools for homicide. There was the unimaginative mob-style ride, the shotgun blast on the lonely street. And there were the bizarre touches, too. Dozens were dropped into quicklime pits. Others were buried alive, cremated... Fantastic? It can't happen in your town? It did!"

The book is strewn with alliteration, catchy phrasing, and amusing direct address. "Fiendish ingenuity," "parasitic pirates..out to foment or break strikes for fancy fees." It is fantastic.

And speaking of gangs...Real Time Worlds, the makers of Crackdown for the Xbox 360, have just announced their next project: All Points Bulletin. A cops/criminals real time MMO action title set in a current day urban landscape. Looks incredible. Great concept, great team behind it, solid premise, here's a preview.

That's just a quick update. I'm heading out to grab a cup of coffee to combat my fatigue. Hope all of you in Boston are enjoying the snow.