Dan Goldin Day 2010 Is Happening Right Now!

As an unfortunate result of the international economic crisis this year's Dan Goldin Day celebration has been drastically scaled back. Official DGD celebrations are only scheduled for Milwaukee, WI and Boston, MA this year.

As always, we here at DGD HQ still encourage Dan Goldin supporters to observe the holiday wherever they may find themselves on November 17th (hopefully not at work!) and keep the memory of Dan Goldin's victory over the Boston University Trustees in your hearts as you try and shirk any and all of your job-related responsibilities. (Just think, if the guy who invented credit-default swaps had a little more of the Dan Goldin spirit in him he may never have given Wall Street the tool to bring down the US financial system. He could have been sitting at home playing video games and drinking instead. Yet one more reason to spread DGD as far and wide as possible!)

I would also like to offer a brief apology for the brevity of this annual DGD post, but the aforementioned economic crisis has affected us in some unexpected ways, including a word-count restriction passed just last week by the DGD board of directors. (11-6, 2 abstained)

I would also like to call special attention to our Milwaukee branch (and regional manager Donny Bo-bonny) for the extrodinary achievement, this year, of having Dan Goldin Day mentioned on the hour on NPR radio. So tune in, and raise a glass to Dan Goldin!

So, in closing, happy Dan Goldin Day 2010! Shirk, drink, and be merry!

-Tom

PS - links to some previous DGD posts

Why I Normally Take A Patriots' Day Vacation

Patriots' Day (aka Marathon Monday) is celebrated in Boston today. This is great if you are (a) no gainfully employed (b) a student (c) a marathon runner (d) a member of the Red Sox organization

and, judging by the time I spent standing in the bitter early April morning wind at the bust stop today, (e) the majority of the MBTA bus fleet.

Thank goodness bus 184 was in operation, or I would be posting this from my cellphone still standing at the bus stop instead of my cubicle.

-t

PS, Patriots' Day is not great if you are (f)(*ing) gainfully employed and have to navigate the public transit system or roadways while the entire rest of the city takes the day off to get drunk on Beacon street.

Happy Dan Goldin Day!

Happy Dan Goldin Day 2009, everyone! I hope you're all reading this post from home with a drink in front of you, or over a pint at your local watering hole, having skipped out on work to honor the decision by the Boston University Trustees to grant a day off to the students of Boston Uniersity after awarding, and then rescinding, a contract to ex-NASA Mr. Dan Goldin, and obligating themselves to payout $1.8 million for breach of that contract. (full career summation here)

For those readers interested, here is a partial list of cities celebrating DGD '09: (east to west)

Boston, MA
Stoneham, MA
Manchester, NH
New York, NY
Philadelphia, PA
Baltimore, MD
Birmingham, AL
Milwaukee, WI (observed 11/20/09)
Arlington, TX
Lawton, OK
Seattle, WA
Te Anua, NZ
Mackay, AU
London, GB
Dublin, IE


Celebrating in a city not on the list? Let me know in the comments! We're still missing Eastern Europe, South America, all of Africa, Asia, and I'm still waiting to hear from you Antarticans!

Too ditching work, and getting paid!

-Tom

---

The Hottest Dan Goldin Day On Record

We are less than a week away from Dan Goldin Day 2009!

The 2009 Observance Calendar is a little bit wonky due to the conflicting local customs, mid-week holiday, and gas boiler installation.

So, as a public service to all DGD celebrants, I present the following, official, Dan Goldin Day Observance Calendar 2009, please update your Dilbert or Farside November pages accordingly based on your location or circumstance:




A brief explanation:

Monday, Nov. 16th Dan Goldin Day (Traditional Observation) - International and Domestic* celebration of the holiday on the nearest Monday or Friday to encourage three-day weekend.

Tuesday, Nov. 17th - Dan Goldin Day (Founder's Observation) The happy coincidence of DGD and scheduled installation of a brand new gas boiler in my home provides a dual excuse to ditch work on Tuesday, which means a happy holiday for everyone who lives at my address.

Friday, Nov. 20 - Dan Goldin Day (Traditional Observation, Milwaukee) - Milwaukeers observe DGD on the nearest Friday to maximize the opportunity for missing a brewery tour, eating fried fish, and listening to a live polka band.

*Celebrated domestically in all locations that are not observing Milwaukee or Founder's DGD


Please contact your local Dan Goldin Day ambassadors for information regarding organized Dan Goldin Day activities including parade route and start times, as well as regulations for DGD float construction and municipal permits.

-T

---

Dan Goldin Day Prep

We are two months away from DGD '09 and I want to make sure everyone is ready!

For a brief history of Dan Golding Day please refer to the previous posts on this blog (here). I would direct you to Dan Goldin's wikipedia page, but the "editors" keep deleting my updates. [UPDATE - holy crap! "Dan Goldin Day" is a sub-head on the wikipedai page!]

In brief: DG got paid for, basically, not showing up for work as BU prez, and we, the students, got a day off from school for his parade, even after it was cancelled, which gave me an extra day to study for an insane math exam, which I then passed, allowing me to graduate, then get job, buy things, etc.

To celebrate, simply take the day off work, and have a drink in Dan Goldin's honor, to commemorate those times when not showing up for work works out the best for everyone involved.

This year November 17th falls on a Tuesday, so the official observation of DGD will be Monday, October 16, 2009.

For those of you who cannot take a day off, feign sickness, or call out, I recommend a long lunch instead, heavily lubricated by alcohol.

One final note on the expansion of DGD internationally, this year we expect to be celebrating not only in the DGD bastions of old (Boston MA, Milwaukee WI) and new (Philadelphia PA, Baltimore MD), but a few new American cities (Lawton OK, Seattle WA) and at least one international city (Dublin IRE).

For those readers celebrating in a town I have not mentioned above, please drop me a line in the comments and I will be sure to add your city to the DGD roster. (I'm talking to you Londoners, Kiwis, and Antartic Station researchers who love reading the blog and skipping out on work for the flimsiest of reasons.)

Happy Dan Goldin Day 2009, everyone!

-t

---

Ghost Outs (Not Scary)

Last night our opponents tried to issue a two-out intentional walk to the spot in our lineup before a ghost out. (ghost out: when playing with less than three female players the team will be charged an out after the last batter in the line-up in place of the missing player)

This is a bush league thing to try.

Turns out, though, strategic as it may be, it's against the rules of the league (no walk shall be issued to the batter prior to a ghost out) which we didn't know, so after the first pitch went 20 feet over his head, our guy actually jumped across the plate to hit the next pitch which was four feet outside. (grounder to third for the last out)
(Which ended the inning and meant the next inning started with the ghost out.)

But, turns out, when they tried intentionally walking him, they knew the rule about no intentional walks, and were banking on us not knowing it.

Which we didn't

Which prompted our guy to swing at an unhittable pitch

Double bush league. Bush and deceitful. These guys are assholes.

Also, the umpire didn't explain the rule until after the at bat. That I don't understand at all.

Anyway. After the intentional ghost out walk situation played out we were going into the bottom of the last inning down one run.

Ground out
Single
Fly out, no advance
Walk
Single - scored runner from second, runner from first went to third on the throw to the plate, batter took second on throw to the plate
Tie game!
Next batter, walk-off ground-rule double

We win! Suck it bush leaguers!

Woo!

Also, I was informed today that I had enough ABs to qualify for the batting title.

Which I won. I also led the team in OBP. This marks a significant improvement from my first season (and a significant improvement from my broken collarbone)

And now, depending on the outcome of another game, we may have qualified for the playoffs.

-t

---

Red Team!

Lost the first of three make-up games on a walk-off single in the bottom of the seventh inning. It was a tough game to lose, and we need to win the next two by large margins in order to make the playoffs.

My line so far this season is a .750 average in 9 Plate Appearances (one double, one walk, for a 1.653 OPS)

Lately I've been making good solid contact, I plan on doing the same for however many games we have left.

-t

---

Ageism

Last Friday was my birthday. I am 27 years old.

I was not served beer last night at the sushi restaurant, because when they carded me, because I ALWAYS get carded, the waitress noticed that my license had expired.

Actually, it had expired two days previous, on my birthday.

Invalid ID? No drinks for you!

Now, I ask you, what, exactly, is the problem with an ID that two days ago proved I was 27? Hmm?

Now that the license has expired I've magically reverse-aged seven years? Who am I, Brad Pitt? (That question is only semi-rhetorical, because I really am mistaken for Brad Pitt almost twice a week.)


To her credit the waitress did feel awfully bad about the policy and comped the table some iced green tea, which was very nice.

On the other hand, the bartender at the Mircale of Science did serve me beer after looking at my ID and saying "Looks like this just expired." Which is exactly how you're supposed to react.


Because an expired license isn't a magical fountain of youth. That's just not how time travel works.

-t

Walk Before you Run (Away From Angry Bat-Wielding Opponents)

Last Tuesday I got the ok for sporting activities from my orthopedist. The collarbone has healed a full 100%.

Luckily, I received the news in time to play in that night's softball game, and would have, but didn't, because it was rained out. (You remember the rain, right? The thirty-three weeks of rain? I blame global warming)

So I had a week to prepare for the next game on the schedule and spent it rebuilding the atrophied muscle tissue and reflexes by playing wiffleball.

The rehad program worked out pretty well. I was two-for-two in last night's game, hitting a single and a double. As I slid, hard, into second base on that double, I was planning on a triple and a home run in my next two at bats to complete the cylce - but didn't get a chance to have two more at bats.

I know, I know, it was going hard into second base that got me the broken collarbone in the first place six (seven?) weeks ago. You're all rolling your eyes at the computer screen now, "Tom, you moron, you broke your other collarbone (or ankle, wrist, etc)?"

Well, no, I wasn't hurt sliding into second base. The game ended prematurely by the slaughter rule. We lost.

We lost because the other team was populated by tools. No one on their team swung the bat. Every single "hitter" went up to the plate looking for a walk. And the umpire was happy to give it to them.

In a typical softball game, when you step up to the plate, you SWING THE BAT and, in a typical softball game, if you're not swinging, the umpire will drastically expand the strike zone to entice you to start swinging.

This umpire did not do that. Which suited this D-league, Co-ed Softball team just fine. Billy Beane would have been proud. Except he wouldn't, because IT'S SOFTBALL! HIT THE GD PITCH, ALREADY.

These guys would take five and six straight pitches. They would only swing with two called strikes on them, prefectly happy to take a walk. It was shameful.

Also, because this is D-league Co-ed softball there are stupid girl rules, in particular this one:

"10.1 The league will adhere to the ASA rule regarding walking a male batter when a female batter is on deck. When a male batter is walked with a female batter on deck, the male batter will be awarded second base." List of stupid Rules

I'd like to scan in the scorecard from the game so you could see exactly how many walks were issued, but I won't, because it will upset me.

I will point out that twice, TWICE, during the game their clean-up hitter, CLEAN-UP HITTER chose to walk because he was followed by a female in the batting order.

THEIR FOUR HITTER WILLINGLY TOOK A TWO-BASE WALK TWICE.

And this is after their team was up by 8 or nine runs. SWING THE FREAKING BAT!

Our entire team was beside themselves. Outfielders were falling asleep. The shortened, five-inning game featured 9 walks.

NINE!

Our team, in an entire season last year, received two (2) walks. Both intentional, both because the opposing team chose not to pitch to our slugger with first base open.

Also, it would have been three intentional walks on the season, except once our guy Mike chose to swing at one of the intentional balls, and he hit it for a double. WHICH IS HOW YOUR ARE SUPPOSED TO PLAY SOFTBALL.

I drew up some new rules for the league. I am emailing them to the league president. I do not expect a reply.

Proposal of Boston West Co-ed rule changes, regarding walks:
(1) Base on Balls will be abolished
(2) Only Intentional Base on Balls will be allowed. The pitcher's intent to walk the batter must be announced by the pitcher and acknowledged by the umpire before the first pitch of the at-bat is thrown. A maximum of ONE Intentional Base on Balls will be allowed per team, per game.
(3) Any player issued an Intentional Base on Balls, if he or she is batting before a female player, shall be awarded two bases (as the current BB rule is written)
(4) A strike will be called on any batter who takes three consecutive pitches (except for an IBB)
(5) The batting team may request a new pitcher if the current pitcher throws more than 10 consecutive pitches that are outside the called strike zone.

Also up for consideration:
-Heckling an umpire who refuses to expand the strike zone after a team has demonstrated a willingness to reach base via walk will be encouraged.
-There will be no penalty for a pitcher who plunks any batter who refuses to swing the bat.
-Any batter who is too picky will be called out after six pitches (called balls or strikes)...unless there are two outs.

Any other changes you'd can think of?

-t

---

Big News!

My collarbone is mostly healed. (roughly 67% now).

Still no sporting activities, until it's completely healed, but then, it's like you'll never know it was broken, except for the giant hideous lump.

Oh, also, I'd like to apologize for disappointing the residents of Tempe, Arizona, I will not being moving out to your desert community anytime soon, as our realtor just called to inform us that the sellers have agreed to our offer on a house here in the great Northeast.

But don't despair overmuch, Tempe, you're still in the top three retirement cities. Thirty-years isn't too long to wait.

-t

---

Softball & Injury Update

Sorry for the delay, I've been typing since Wednesday morning, left-handed, because my right arm is out of commission.

The game started off strong. we were smoking the other team (who couldn't hit at all) and I'd made a few good stops in the field (and one put out on a kid going second to third which turned a routine 6-3 ground ball into a 6-3-5 DP. Bad base running).

Anyway in my first at bat I tried stretching a single into a double after a bobble in the outfield, git beat to the bag by the throw (a good three feet), and tried jumping over the tag, which, if it had worked would have put me in short center field, where I would have been out anyway, but I never made it, because their shortstop, an ogre of a kid swung the tag around at hip-height, taking out both my legs, up-ending me in the process, and sending me, shoulder-first, into the hard-as-concrete-painted-like-dirt infield.

I lost my glasses, and couldn't move my right arm. Took one pitch the next inning at first base (soft liner, right to me), then walked off the field, unable to throw, or hold a bat, or even lift my right arm.

I drove myself back, fearing a dislocated shoulder (not the injury as much as the repair), and went to the hospital.

x-rays revealed a distal clavicular fracture. No sports activities for 4-6 weeks. arm in a sling for at least two.

Hence, the left-handed typing.

-t

---

Back-of-the-Napkin

A quick back of the napkin calculation (arrived after researching Half & Half varieties, and seeing the Jesus Shuttlesworth variant)

Ray Allen trails Reggie Miller by just over 260 three-pointers for the all time NBA record.

Ray Allen nets almost 40% of the threes he takes (career 0.398).

Which means, to make 260 three-pointers he needs to attempt 650.

Ray Allen averages 6.1 3-pt attempts per game, which means

He'll need to play 108 more games to break Reggie Miller's all time three-point scoring record.

(assuming, of course 3PA, 3P%, etc remain the same).

Allen has averaged 62 games per season over his career, though three seasons were shortened significantly by injury. I expect 70-75 games is closer to normal, and with that assumption, Ray needs to play one and one-half seasons to hold the record free and clear.

Which is half a season longer than his contract with the Celtics. Here's hoping he can stick around.

-t

(stats from basketball-reference

---

The Red Team

First softball game of the season has come and gone. Good news: we won!

We took the lead in the top of the first inning and held it the entire game, winning by a final score of 19-11.

Your author flied out to right field in the first at bat (not knowing his own strenghth, he was just trying to pop one over the first baseman, and instead hit it 200 feet right at their right fielder), then, determined to get on base in the second plate appearance waited for a really good pitch to hit, didn't get one, and walked on five pitches. In the last at bat with runners on first and second he grounded into a fielder's choice (5U, safe at first).

In the field, though, the spectacular defensive prowess was unchanged, save for a fast groundball between first and second that your author didn't even make an attempt at catching.

But, three good picks for force outs saved a few runs over the course of the game.

AVG: 0.000
OBP: 0.333
SLG: 0.000
OPS: 0.333

Hopefully I'll get my average up to...positive numbers, soon.

-t

---

Inspired

Thanks to Tyler for the link.



That tree flair is unbelievable.

-t

---

Just BE-CAUSE

When I was in fourth grade I decided to speak more intelligently. I had noticed that speaking in a Boston accent can sometimes make a person seem stupid. Un-educated.

So, from that realization, through high school and some of college, I did my best to minimize the soft r's and enunciate.

After graduation, however, I began falling back into the old speech patterns. I didn't give it much thought.

Until today, when I heard myself give an explanation for a trade variance that began with "cuz" instead of "because" - it wasn't even an abbreviated because ('cause), it was chopped all the way down to a "word" almost phonetically indistinguishable from "cud" (ew)! This is a place of business! Finance! Learned men and women think here! WE DO NOT WORK IN A BARN! And I thought to myself, "I sound like a jackass. Knock it off."

So I will. No more saying "cuz." or "S'an-thing" instead of "Is there anything." I'm sure there are more. It's disheartening, sometimes, but no longer...

ELOQUENCE IS BACK

-t

---

Dan Goldin Day Reminder

Dan Goldin Day is night upon us! Mark your calendars!

November 17th (as if you'd forgotten)

*Bonus* This year DGD falls on a Monday! Three day weekend!


-t

---

*Footnote* DGD is always observed on the closest Monday or Friday in order to maximize three-day weekends.

---

It Takes Twice That Just To Get Me Out Of Bed In The Morning...

As those of you who are regular readers (probably in the billions by now, as I'm no longer firewalled in China) know, I occassionally write a bit about the Red Sox.

It's certainly no regular feature, but I am a fan of baseball, and Boston sports in general, and do take the opportunity, from time to time, to comment on the current sports scene.

Well, turns out, WEEI, a local Boston sports radio station, is looking for bloggers at the new weei.com to do just that. In fact, they have decided to hold a contest.

So let me tell you why I will not be participating:

(1) The required 500 word entry isn't long enough to encompass the typical blogger's ramblings (see joeposnanski.com)

(2) They get the rights to the winner's content, because the winner will be hired to blog for a year on weei.com

(3) and be paid $5,000.

$5,000? Five grand? That's barely pocket money!

And I know, I know, you're thinking "Hey, if I were a blogger who regularly commented on the Boston sports scene for free, why wouldn't I want to upgrade to a nice $5K paycheck?"

I'll tell you why: Because it's peanuts. You could hire Jerry Seinfeld to blog for maybe a week with that $5,000. And my Red Sox commentary is worth at least Seinfeld money.

Yes, I realize Seinfeld's a comedian, but most bloggers are (trying to be) comedians too! Funny sells! Funny does not sell out. Not for a measly five grand.

Hell, that's not even enough for a hood ornament on one of these bad boys.

Other bloggers are with me on the boycott of the contest (for different, more defeatist, reasons) at Sox and Dawgs

Reading Writing About Writing

Alternate Title: Latin Is Dead, Alivey English!

Today on boston.com Erin McKean takes critics of the English language to task. In a nutshell: Embrace English evolution.

...if all these words look wordish, sound wordish, and act wordish, why are they all hedged about with the namby-pamby "I know it's not a real word" disclaimers? (Note: wordish is a perfectly good word.)

They shouldn't be, I agree. I make up words all the time, right here.

Like, "besotted," or "interrobang."


It's a clever little op/ed and I found the payoff right here:

Whenever I see "not a real word" used to stigmatize what is (usually) a perfectly cromulent word, I wonder why the writer felt the need to hang a big sign reading "I am not confident about my writing" on it.

-t

Overheard:

Leaving work yesterday
Woman on cell phone (whiny, contempt-y): "You probably shouldn't be there... Because it would be uncomfortable for me, it would be uncomfortable for John, and, potentially, uncomfortable for you - except, maybe not, because you 'aren't ever uncomfortable,' and you're not 'bothered by circumstance'..."

Walking home from the train
Guy outside a laundromat on his cell phone (matter-of-factly): "No, no, black. Like, priest black. With that collar thing. A little white collar..."

Bear: "Um...that's probably trouble."

---

Softball Wrap-Up

I believe Blogger dropped my last wrap-up post, apologies if you're reading this twice.

We lost our last game of the season (got smoked, actually), but overall were very encouraged by our improvement as a team.

I finished the season with a .625 batting average (up from .500 last year) and with three doubles and a triple, an OPS of 1.418.

I think, if the roster stays pretty much the same all we'd need to do to push us over the hump and into the playoffs is add one really good bat. I'm going to draft an email to Barry Bonds' agent - he's looking for something to do, right?

-t

---