Sweep Dreams: An Open Letter to the Red Sox*

Dear Boston Red Sox,

Please sweep the Rockies in the World Series. Firstly, because it would be awesome. Secondly, because these three-hour-plus games and post-game press conferences and analysis are really, really, cutting into my normal sleep schedule.

It's not bad at all during the regular season when NESN carries the games, and they start at the very reasonable time of 7 PM (EST). Then even a four hour game will see me in bed well before midnight satiated, full to the brim of good baseball and wise, thoughtful, well-produced post-game commentary by the studio team of Caron, Remy, and Eckersley.

It is bad when Fox, with their late start times, pandering to their West Coast audience, broadcasts these games. When the first pitch is thrown at 8:15 PM (EST), (or even later!) even a much quicker three-and-one-half-hour game is pushing the midnight envelope. I'm lucky to be in bed by half-past twelve, or asleep by one o'clock!

Now, as a baseball fan, I am compelled, hard-wired, you could say, to watch every pitch, every at-bat, every, single out of playoff baseball, I would continue to do so even if the series went to seven games, each one decided in not less than six hours, lasting no fewer than twenty-three innings. It would ruin me, physically - and probably get me fired - but I would do it.

But, I am asking, instead, that you, Boston Red Sox, please sweep the World Series, so as to maximize both my happiness, and my well-restedness.

Thank you,

Tom


*Thanks to Tyler for the updated title.