Water-on-the-Brain

Medical conditions with which I am afflicted:

Schemohydrolysis - more commonly "water poisoning," or "over-hydration," triggered by consuming too much water in a given interval, and tipping the water/mass ratio of the body (normally 60% in favor of water in males, 55% in females) over the 68.5% mark.

Hydro-tunemia - A related condition affecting blood vessels in which all of the blood in the body is replaced by water. Dr. Maurice Hogan (1802-1888), of London, who named the condition once quipped "If you prick them, do they not leak?"

Also, possibly, fulminant hypocephalopathic fantachondria, or, the belief that one is afflicted with imaginary diseases of one's own creation.

-t