It's not Office Space, it's real life - but this is right out of Office Space

All week I've been killing myself to get the monthly reporting for Western done. Insolent Bob has been worse than unhelpful, and has only increased the amount of stress I've been feeling lately. A competent, well-trained employee could have had the fund out two days early. I stayed past closing last night, the due date, to finish the fund.

Meanwhile I haven't been worrying about FFN, my easy fund, because it's due next Thursday and can be finished in a day and a half.

The only other worry would be the nightmare fund that has plagued me since its inception.

But!

My new manager, Sandra, has been working on that fund for two weeks. I was forced to help her last Tuesday for two hours after closing on some ridiculous spreadsheets from the client. I figured she's got it pretty well in hand at this point, since she's been on it for so long, and she knows what the hell she's doing.

So I decided to ask for the afternoon off. Maybe get some Christmas shopping done. Certainly go home and play some Xbox 360. With hopes high I sent off the following email:

Sandra,

Can I take off today around 2 today?

No reason to think she'll say no on that. Western's done, FFN is a cakewalk, and I'm sure she's already looked at, and probably finished, the reporting for the nightmare fund.

She responds:

How is nightmare fund looking? Have you had a chance to work on it?

WHAT!?!? She's been working on that fund for two weeks! What the hell was she doing if it wasn't the monthly reporting!? She said she was taking care of it! If I was supposed to be doing that monthly reporting in addition to my other funds SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!

I wouldn't have gotten anything more done over the last week, but at least I would know I was responsible for that report!

So I sent back this:

Sandra,

Not at all. I’ve been focused on Western all week and today I’m catching up daily cash for that and FFN. I don’t even know what needs to be done on the nightmare fund.

What am I supposed to do? It took me all week to clear Western. Having an additional fund on my desk that I don't understand would not have made that go any faster, and more than likely would have slowed me down. But that's irrelevant, because Sandra was (suposed to be) working on the nightmare fund!

But, then, my high hopes were fulfilled:

Tom.

Okay…Not a problem…I’ll have a look at it. If you have to head out around 2 then that’s not a problem.

YES. Two o'clock I'm gone! I'll just spend the morning finishing my daily cash recons for FFN and Western, and then vanish.

Which is when my old lazy manager strolled over to my cube:

Hey, Tom, have you looked at the nightmare fund for Sandra at all today?

No, I've been working on Western all week long.

Oh, wow. Did that get approved?

Yeah, last night finally at quarter to six. Today I've been catching up on cash. And I just got an email from Sandra about the nightmare fund.

No, don't worry about cash - you've got all month to catch up cash. We're already a day late on the nightmare fund, and we're really on shaky ground with them. Because I'm not going to be around this month to do any of that. If it doesn't get handed in you'll both get reamed at by the client...

AAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wtf, mate. wtf. He spent the whole time peering at my computer trying to read the emails which were open on my screen. That's not cool.

How about this: You, lazy manager, since you've clearly got time enough on your hands to stroll around the floor and make trouble for anybody, can help Sandra with the nightmare fund!

Two people who know how to generate the monthly reports actually generating the monthly reports? What a good idea!

Letting me, the kid who's never been trained, wasn't informed this reporting was his responsibility, and, by the way, hates every second of every day he spends sitting here, the afternoon off to play video games? WHAT A GREAT IDEA!

I'm going to start sending out my resume as soon as I get home.

-t