Worse than a rant: a ramble

For the second day in a row I have accomplished nothing at work.

This is in no way my fault.

Well, of course, it is my fault in some way. There are always steps I can take in order to accomplish something.

But that would require an inordinate amount of self-motivation. "Inordinate" in this case is synonymous with "some."

I'm talking about reasonable expectations. A normal person, on a normal day would have done the same - not some crazy scenario where I am replaced by a misunderstood world-beater with an inner drive, who would got to any lengths, including not sleeping or eating for days, totally bent on a takeover of the global air travel market by the time he's twenty-seven, and who is good enough to do it.

You know, the guy those apprentice contestants wish they were.

I'm not that guy. I'm me. (Hello.)

My goals involve much simpler things: watching the Colbert Report, eating lunch, not melting between the office and the T.

Those are all accomplishable goals.

"Doing my job" used to be.

It's the begining of the month, which means it's report time. I do not understand how to complete all of the reporting. (They tell me it should take aobut six months before I'm totally comfortable with it - this is my second month.)

I emailed my manager to ask for help. The text of the email read something like this:

Can you help me with the expense reports? I know how to book expenses once they're calculated, but not how to calculate them. Thanks.

My manager came over to my desk, and in a Bill Lumberg kind of way said

"Um, yeah, I don't really know much about this fund. Who did it last month? Yeah, well, maybe you should ask him, because this really isn't my thing."

That is no way to be helpful.

So, I emailed the other guy. Surprisingly he came over and helped. He said

"We don't calculate those, the client does. You should send him an email."

So I did. And I am still waiting.

Since then I have done nothing. There was a brief moment where I thought I would have a few trades to book because the system went down, but the system came back up.

I have resorted to doodling on notepads. (see intransitivity).

One of my coworkers leaned over the cubicle wall to inquire as to what I was scribbling. When he say the celtic knot I had on the notepad in front of me he said, mockingly,

"Is that work related?"

"No." I replied.

For two days now at work I have done nothing that has been "work related." How ironic.


And completely frustrating.


-t


recommended download:
Fall Out Boy, Dance, Dance