Lingo

If you're sitting there reading over this post and thinking to yourself "Oh, I say that sometimes! Well, he can't possibly mean me because when I say it it's always cute/topical/clever/or endearing" you're wrong, and this is meant especially for you.

It's never "cute." Knock it off.

• When people refer to Dunkin' Donuts as "Dunks."


Saying "Dunkie's" is acceptable, but it must be used sparingly and only in mixed company.


• "Barnes and NobleS." There's only one 'S'! If you must stick an 's' on the end just go with the proper name: Barnes and Noble Booksellers.



• Anyone who refers to their home state of Massachusetts as "Mass." That is completely unacceptable, if you must abbreviate then I urge you to use the official postal abbreviation "MA," which is pronounced "Em - Ay.


There are only a handful of state names long enough to prompt abbreviation and do you really want to be in the same boat as those west-coast hippies who refer to theirs as "Callie"? No. Now go get a haircut.



• Oh, ditto for "tax-achusetts." If you don't like the taxes, move to New Hampshire. If you don't mind the taxes, shut it.



• Anyone who prefers Starbucks coffee to Dunkin Donuts. Dunkin Donuts brews far superior coffee. Starbucks lovers, you're wrong. You're probably all Yankee fans too.
  

-t