Thursday, February 23, 2006

That doesn't sound like thinkin'!

The stupid kid is still putting the wrong trade numbers into his income spreadsheet. Things like “Number of shares purchased” and “Total Purchase Price.”

He also, apparently, doesn’t understand how archiving records works. He has taken all the daily printouts that need to be archived, put them in boxes, and stacked the boxes in the pick-up area.

Boxes that are completely identical, boxes that have no labels. I discovered this when I moved some labeled boxes into the pick-up area and saw this phalanx of blank cardboard. I knew without having to think about it that the stupid kid’s funds were in those boxes.

So, I told him to get the boxes back, and bring them to my cube, where I will label them, as per archiving procedure, because as much as I don’t enjoy archiving if I have to do it I will make sure it gets done correctly. And that means labeling boxes.

He had about ten boxes total, holding the paper backups for approximately four funds over a two year period. He began to move the boxes back to my cubicle and in the process discovered that he was missing two funds.

I told him the funds had to be found. Because they do have to be found. He asked me if I had moved them.

Good luck trying to find two unmarked boxes of funds that disappeared. Moron.

I hate this kid. Seriously, how does archiving work without labeling the boxes!?

I can’t stand it. I’m going to lunch.
-t

6 comments:

e$ said...

have a cocktail while you're at it. makes the day go by nice and smooth.

Anonymous said...

that was a good title.

how come you were going to archive the funds for him? why didn't you make HIM do it?

mance01 said...

I'm with Jackie...Are you POSITIVE that he's not really stupid but actually just evil?

"I'll set these unlabeled boxes over here...best case scenario they get hauled over to the warehouse unlabelled which I don't care about...worst case scenario that Tom guy just labels them for me while glaring at me and typing away on his little weblog that he thinks I don't know about."

After the whole tattling-on-you-to-management episode, I don't trust the kid.

Tom said...

To clarify: (YOU SEE ADINA, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I DON'T EXPLAIN THE WORLD OF MUTUAL FUNDS IN THE POSTS, WE GET CONFUSTION AND I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THINGS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION (which I hate to do, because what if some readers SKIM the comments? they are leaving here UNINFORMED! I hate to think about that))

So...to clarify:

Before I started working here boxes were archived using carbonless copied triplicate forms. Pink copy stuck to the box, Yellow copy stayed here in a filing cabinet, White copy goes to the archive company.

Then, we got audited, and guess what they found in the boxes? Well, first, they had a lot of trouble finding the boxes, because those Yellow forms were not always put in the file cabinets, sometimes they were stuck in a desk drawer, or thrown out, or, you know, just "gone."

And, the boxes they did find were mislabled, empty, and in one of them they found a pair of maroon wedge heels. Shoes, people. They archived shoes.

So, they decided to figure out a new system. They hired a new archive company, one with an online database and a very nice, easy-to-use user interface.

This happened just after I was hired, then, I got picked to train on the new system: Box the fund, input the data into the online database, print out a label for the box. Easy.

Only one person from each group was given access to the online database, that person was me. So, once the people in my group box the funds, they're supposed to drop them off at my desk so I can label them. After they're labeled I call for pick up.

It was the labelling step that the stupid kid skipped. He can't label the boxes himself because he doesn't have access to the database.

Good thing too, I can only imagine the havok he could wreak with our archiving systems. It would probably involve boxes with shoes in them.

Donny said...

I don't understand how the new archiving system reduces the number of shoes that are archived each week. Whose job is it to check that shoes are (not) being archived? Your system is full of holes, Tom.

Tom said...

my job. I check the boxes to make sure there are funds and not shoes in the boxes. I always double check the stupid kid's archiving.