Ah. I bet you read the title and thought this would be a post about the stupid kid. You thought wrong. Or I bet wrong - This post is about not eating.
I have had very little to eat these past few days. Yesterday, for example, I had no breakfast, a medium coffee for lunch, and two and a half bowls of lentil soup for dinner. (I had the lentil soup because I didn’t realize until later that chicken rice soup was available, not that I dislike lentil soup, but the chicken and rice would have been nice…maybe a bowl of each.)
Today I have had half of a dry bagel (untoasted). Why? I don’t know. Well, I know why I had the bagel, because I was hungry. I mean, in the past sixteen hours I have had two bowls of soup and a bagel (I’m couting the half-bagel and half bowl of soup as one whole bagel for easy numbers). This is basically what I would have as a before-or-after dinner snack on a normal day. Why haven’t I been eating? I don’t know.
I am going to go out at the first chance I get and buy a Chicago-style Rueben, a Big Mac, a Spicy Chicken sandwich, two coffees, a Gatorade, and a stack of Au Bon Pain pastries filled mostly with fruit and cheese. Then maybe I’ll have a salad. Because I am hungry.
Bonus points to anybody who figures out what the title is referencing.
-t
recommended download:
The New Pornographers, Use It
5 comments:
I feel like such a heifer! I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M's and like 3 pieces of licorice!
too easy
Is that gluten-free specail K?
Don't feel too bad. I just finished an afternoon snack of an entire bag of cheese doodles and a carton of chocolate milk. Allow me to do the math on this little snack of mine: that'll be 925 calories, 370 calories from fat, and 37.5 grams of saturated fat. Don't even ask me what that means in terms of mail daily percentages. I think I'm not allowed to eat anything else....this week.
Bonus points for Felecia. Woo.
KT, there is no way a story about you consuming hundreds of calories is going to make me feel better. If I were consuming hundreds of calories I would probably feel better. Grilled pastrami and sauerkraut on dark rye with swiss cheese and a generous side of thousand island dressing for dipping. That would definitely make me feel better.
Just the idea of all of that food makes me want to yack. For real.
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