I hate my job (a song)

I hate my job (a song, to the tune of Dear Old Donegal)

It seems like only yesterday,
that I finished school.
I took some time and found a job,
Inexperienced young fool…
There wasn't a soul to greet me there,
the new guy on the floor,
Surrounded by stupid coworkers
But at least I wasn’t poor.

Around a month I’d worked here,
Third cube in the second aisle,
My manager stopped by one day
And greeted me with a smile,
“Some people to introduce you to,
You’ve been here long enough to stay,
Here are some folks you work with
Almost every single day:”

“Shake hands with the office IT guy,
whenever the printers break,
And here’s the guy with the loud radio
who spends his afternoons baked.
Shake hands with all of the AVPs
But don’t let them see you online.
Don’t make mistakes, and take no breaks
And we’ll get along just fine”

“Shake hands with hypermanager, boy,
And here's your senior, Kate.
And here's the girl you who forwards emails
that everybody hates.
Shake hands with all of your neighbors,
disgruntled cube-dwellers all,
You’ll work here ‘til the cows come home
and learn to hate it all…”


-t


P.S. Just after I finished this post my manager pulled me into a conference room to tell me they approved a “merit increase” for me. It works out to a raise of 2.77%. I’d be doing cartwheels if my cube were big enough.


recommended downloads:
Bowling for Soup, Almost
Weezer, Photograph
The Drunken Irishmen, Dear Old Donegal