The HR overhaul

Now, maybe it's me, but I think work should be a place to meet people. You know what I mean, social interaction should not be limited to crowded bars filled with loud music, or friends of friends you met at a party (or online), or to the people who still talk to you now that you've all graduated and moved away (or home). The office should be about more than work, it should also provide the opportunity to get to know hot coworkers.

And that's where the Human Resources department steps in. First, we've gotta revamp it though. Gone are the days when HR approves year-end reviews, or puts on training seminars that really should be called "a two hour nap you get paid for," gone I say. Now we will streamline Human Resources begining with a new name. The Hook Up, or HU. This new department will have the responisibilty of providing whatever you need. Toner low? Page the Hook Up: New toner in a flash. Flat tire got you late for work? HU's got you covered: A staffer phones your manager with a prepared excuse, you cruise in at 11. Guy across from you playing his talk radio too loud? HU delivers with a boombox pre-loaded with your favorite tunes right to your desk.

But the real feature, the main attraction, of the new HU dept. is the introduction. Just starting out at a new job? Unsure if asking the cute girl near the printer out is bad office politics? HU is just a phone call away. HU is ready to explain the pervading opinions on office romance, and ready to hook you up with an introduction to the printer girl in a no stress, easy to be yourself atmosphere. HU's got you covered.

Turns out management frowns on inter-office dating? Thinking about quitting your job so your dream "if only he'd notice me" hunk manager can propose? HU's only a phone call away. Delivering the news that your dreamboat is married with two kids in a way you can handle (along with a long island iced tea or two), they're also set to introduce you to Justin, an attractive twenty-something up-and-comer who works in the Quincy office and is available: "he's already got your number, expect a call later on today, and don't make any plans for friday night."

HU: the future of Human Resources. Coming soon to an office near you.

-Tom