You Can't Spell Courtesy Without Curt

I was quietly asked to step into the conference room this morning to meet with my supervisor.

One glance at the troubled look on his face and I guessed immediately that the discussion might center around a sarcastic reply I'd sent in response to an email from one of the girls on the tax team.

The original email went something like "The client wants us to check on this, please check on this and get back to me," and the email was, as per the custom here, cc-ed to basically everyone, including her supervisor, my supervisor, and the head of the division.

In a joking and sarcastic manner, which I truly believed was in character with the working relationship I have with this particular member of the tax team, and not in any way mean-spirited, but one-hundred percent in jest, I replied to her email with "Actually, as this is a tax request, and tax is your job, please do your job."

Which, as I said, I believed to be well within the established framework of office joking and good-natured ribbing that I had established with the tax team.

I did, please note, NOT reply-to-all and cc the whole freaking company, which is a crucial point that this member of the tax team overlooked.

Because she assumed that I had copied everyone on the email in my response, basically critcizing her professionalism, work-ethic, and ability, she responded to my response, cc-ing everyone with a curt response which included a cut-and-pasted excerpt of my job description as it pertains to client tax requests.

So, as I was called into the conference room I had an inkling of where this conversation was headed.


"Tom," my supervisor began, "I wanted to talk to you because, well, someone...higher up...pulled me aside and mentioned that someone on the tax team had become a little, upset, about something... Do you know what I'm talking about?"

You mean the email I sent to the tax team. I was actually planning on walking down there later today and talking to her about that. I don't think she realized my response was direct to her, not to the whole company.

"Right, yeah, well. I think, it, well, it would probably be good to realize that, if you think you sound a certain way in an email, that maybe some people might not take it the way you mean it, and that can be... less than constructive to building bridges between teams...and for your own business relationships. Do you know what I mean?"

You want me to be nicer. Got it. Is it just the email, or has this come up before?

"It's just that your manner... Look, I know it can be frustrating - believe me I know - there are sometimes, like with the international team in Vienna, they can be a little demanding, they call all the time, there are sometimes where I just want to fire off an email and really let 'em have it, you know? But - but, you have to take a deep breath, and be a little more... Maybe don't think about correcting them, even when it's clearly their fault, but instead, trying to accomodate and respond with something that will be better for building a connection with them.

"I understand your manner can be a little...curt, at times. The way you work, technically you're very strong. You know the software, you've gotten to know the funds and the glitches that can come up, and how to deal with them, or prevent them, which is great. But, your, building relationships...maybe can use a little work. Sometimes, like, maybe with the people you train, your manner might seem a little....rude. And I know you just want to get the job done, but like I said, the way you behave might not be taken the same way by the other person. Ok? That was all I wanted to mention."

So.

Be nicer. I have decided to embrace this idea of niceness, and in that vein, I have updated my email auto-signature from "Thanks-comma" to read instead, "Thanks-exclamation-point" and that should make the difference.


Thanks!
Tom

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