Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Work from home! Earn $40K a month! Unlimited upside!

I'm calling for a new age in cubicle work: the work-from-home cubicle job.

Right now I'm required to leave my house in the morning, commute to a giant office building, sit in a tiny square little space, and work on a computer that is at least six years out of date, behind a firewall that won't let me view pictures on flickr, or videos on youtube, but allows posting of information to blogger, and myspace (which, incidentally, is where most of the AVPs spend their time ogling women).

I'd like, instead, to have the freedom to navigate the internet as I deem fit, to visit the links I want, to read blogs I enjoy, and to view the pictures people post from flickr instead of seeing a big empty box with a little red 'x' in the corner.

My job does not require me to be here. I log on to a broker portal, download some reports from their database to ours, print them off and tally some numbers on a spreadsheet. If I have questions I send my manager an email with an attachment, link, or screenshot. When I have trouble I call tech support.

I could get through my entire day without seeing anyone in person.

Plus, my daily work takes me about fifteen minutes, tops. It would be nice to get that out of the way before breakfast, then turn my attention to the daily crossword without being criticized by the VP as he walks past my desk, and then play some video games or watch star trek on Spike.

Why can't I work from home?

Possible objections:

  • Network Security-
    Network security shouldn't be an issue. Have the IT guys set up a secure portal, just like the ones the brokers use, give us the password. Still concerned? Distribute a disc with a downloadable network protocol that I can take load onto my machine, make my access contingent on approval from the network admin who'll check that it's set up properly.


  • Rent-
    If everyone is working from home you won't have to pay rent, ever. Grab yourself a small suite in a nice building with all the profit you're making. House the servers, the VP offices, and the conference rooms. You'll be using maybe a tenth of the space you're using now, and you'll be saving on square footage, heating, cleaning, maintenance, everything.


  • Professional Attitude-
    Nobody working here now has a professional attitude anyway. I've cut out of work more times than I ever cut class in college, and that happened a lot. But, if everyone's working from home, nobody can see them being unprofessional.


  • Keeping An Eye On Things-
    That you feel the need to watchdog the employees is already a problem. If you're really concerned about trade secrets or insider trading (which we can't do with the information we have access to anyway) you can tag the files that get sent to and from each employees computer. If something gets out you track it and prosecute. Easy.


  • Face Time-
    I appreciate that you want to know the people you're working with (though I haven't seen any behaviour that would indicate you care who I am), but it's not relevant to the work that I do everyday with numbers. Plus, the real reason I hate this job, are the people I work with (namely, Insolent Bob). If you really want face time, though, require a weekly, or bi-weekly meeting. Problem solved. I know my attitude would be much improved if I could sleep until 10 o'clock everyday and only have to see Insolent Bob twice a week.


  • Support-
    As I mentioned above, whenever I have a problem I ask for help via email or phone. It's no big deal to attach a document to an email with the relevant portions highlighted, or to talk about a problem over the phone while both parties are looking at a shared spreadsheet. The only benefit to walking from my desk to my managers desk might be the exercise, and I can get that on my stationary bike.



It makes sense. I get to use my computer, I get to work at my own pace, I get to watch tv, play video games, blast my music. I don't have to shower. I can sleep late. I won't hate my job. I can work from anywhere. What's the downside?

Seriously, what's the downside?

-t

1 comment:

mance01 said...

I was with you til you said you wouldn't have to shower. Now I'm thinking maybe you need to go in to work. :-p