It took about four seconds for the glass in my hand to slip, and fall slowly to the floor.
One minute I was holding a Jack and Seven, the next I was watching, helplessly, as it tumbled slowly from my grasp, executing nearly one half turn before the rim of the glass met the tile with a "pshnnk!!"
At work, tomorrow, I'm going to blame the slip on the condensation on the glass, and not, as it may be told, to my state of inebriation.
Condensation.
--
We had gone out to send off my manager who is leaving the group after almost one full year of employment at the company. (Who's last day is a Wednesday? And who leaves on a Wednesday when their first day at the new company is Monday? A four day weekend? I take a minimum of two weeks between jobs. Minimum.)
We got to the bar right after work. A few of us decided to enjoy the nice outdoor weather, ordered drinks, and retired to the courtyard. I was drinking Jack Daniels and Seven Up. Most of them were drinking Bud Light.
We had a good time. I heard some stories, I told some jokes, we all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves - also it was all (perhaps unwittingly?) on the exiting manager's tab, which was pretty generous of him.
I had about four(?) drinks. But I was sitting down. I think that's why what happened happened. Usually on an outing like this I'll be on my feet the whole time which makes it very easy for me to judge my own level of sobriety (wobbling and waving usualyl indicates a significantly decreased level).
At about the time I ordered the fifth (sixth?) drink we moved into the bar area to talk to the manager who was leaving. At this point I did not know that anything was wrong.
It was.
Three minutes later, as I was in the middle of an anecdote and watching the Red Sox game with one eye, and the glass slipped out of my hand.
I was flabergasted.
My eyes followed it to the floor, in a drop that seemed to take forever, then I slowly raised my head to the three guys I was talking to, spread my hands and simply said, "I'm done."
Tomorrow I'm going to blame the condensation on the glass, but to be honest, I couldn't tell you what it was..
t
6 comments:
Drunk blogging was soooooo this morning. Get with it Tom.
i'm with you on the whole sitting down/standing up thing. that gets me every time.
Maybe the real problem is that you talk with your hands - and usually walking backwards.
Mr. Daniels and I aren't allowed to hang out anymore.. bad things happen. Mr. Cuervo, however...
"Tomorrow I'm going to blame the condensation on the glass, but to be honest, I couldn't tell you what it was.."
... isn't that a bit assbackwards, friend?
no? I'm not entirely sure what it was that caused me to drop the glass, or, caused the glass to slip, or, whatever.
but, in order to convince coworkers that this was a one time case of me, literally, not being able to hold my liquor, I am going to tell them that it was due to condensation.
I would never try and foist that lie onto you, my loyal blog readers. The excuse is solely for the office.
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