And, I'm beseiged by ladybugs in my own home.

I have been stressing out over the last week or so, and I was trying to figure a way to describe it. I think "to the max" is appropriate.

This last week I have been stressing out to the max.

John and Samantha know this because I have had the opportunity to eat lunch with/call them at some point over the last week.

I haven't mentioned it here because I've been a little too busy stressing out (to the max).

It's this report. It's the job. It's not knowing what's going on. Like the Lion King.

The scene where grown-up Nala and Simba are fighting because she's hunting warthog and Simba's protecting warthog. Just as Nala is about to deliver the killing stroke Simba recognizes her and BAM just like that we're reminiscing and all caught up.

Which is when Timon, voiced by Nathan Lane, desperate to get their attention, screams "WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE!?"

Which is sort of how things are going at work.

There's all this reporting (eight section report) that's due on month end (that's once-a-month) which I don't know how to do, and no one will tell me how to do.

I can run the report. Expenses, for example, section six. I can click on the little "expense report" button, and put in the date range, but, it comes up blank.

Know why?

Because I haven't processed any of the expenses, so there's nothing to show on the report.

How do I process the expenses? Easy, you click the button labeled "book expenses" and then input the amounts and submit.

Where do the amounts come from?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

I don't have any trouble with the software, or the mechanics of "how-to." Those things are easy. You could train a monkey to perform those tasks.

But no one has instructed me in any of the procedures that involve thinking.

AND I AM A THINKER!

(And, also, apparently, I am a tasty delight for the ladybugs of the world, but I will expound upon that at a later date)

In this context, I am a thinker who is unable to think.

It's not just the expenses, it's every section of the report. If I need to book a trade, I can do that. If I need to book an income adjustment I can do that.

But how do I know I need to do those things? Why are those things necessary? Throw me a frickin' bone here. (erinire will get the Monty Python reference).

So, anyway. I have been stressed out to the max. I sent an email to the other guy in the group. I said "I need help with this reporting" he responded with "What have you done so far"

I said "Nothing. I need help on all of it."

And he said "I'll help you with expenses. Tie out everything else and then I'll come by."

He likes to think this is trial by fire, or learning to swim by getting pushed off the pier. I think that is the stupidest way to teach anything, ever.

Anyway. He came over. And was not much help. But it got done. In an hour.

AN HOUR.

This stupid report I've been stressing out (to the max) over for a week took AN HOUR to complete.

AND I KNEW IT WOULD AND COULD HAVE FINISHED IT MYSELF IF I COULD JUST GET A LITTLE GUIDANCE AROUND HERE SOME OF THE TIME IS ALL I'M SAYING YA KNOW?

Gah.

Oh, also, my senior manager, the one guy who I can go to and get problems answered? He's going back to his old company effective Next Wednesday. We just found out.

It's all good. It's fine. Reporting is done for the month. Things are looking up. I've got a vacation coming up. One week from today. I'll spend next week catching up on all the work I missed this week, then leave for a week. Maybe they'll reshuffle the groups because the senior manager guy is leaving. Maybe I'll find someone who can tell me how to do what I'm supposed to be doing.

Wishful thinking maybe.

-t