When my mind wanders, this is where it ends up

I've read many many blogs dedicated to chronicling the life and times of offspring. Amalah, defective yeti, Dooce, and KenandBelly (who I just found through Adina, hi! Adina's friends!) are all good examples. Pregnancy seems to be a good motivator for sitting still for hours at a time typing to anonymous internet strangers. (Work is also a good motivator).

Anyway, now that the long introductory links-filled paragraph is out of the way, I'd like to talk about my main point: nicknames.

In each of the above blogs the authors have chosen (seen fit?) to give their offspring nicknames. Is it to protect their innocent unborn/recently born/born a while ago progeny from the slings and arrows of anonymous slander from this wide web we call the internet in an age of shrinking privacy and growing ciritcism from worldwide webziens who think they know better? Maybe.

Is it to endear the child to the reader, in much the same way sports heroes are given names by their fans, such as the very endearing, and not at all violent, Frank "The Big Hurt" Thomas, "Tiger" Woods, "Hammerin' Hank" Aaron, Greg "Mad Dog" Maddux, Roger "The Rocket" Clemens, Dave "Cement Head" Semenko, and Eric "Elbows" Nesterenko, to name a few? Maybe.

These bloggers have used names like Squishy, Squirrelly, The Clump, and Leta (ok, that's not a nickname).

So I thought, I should be ready. At first I wanted a cool nickname, one that the other playground kids wouldn't make fun of, and maybe would be a little intimidating, like "Monster."

But that seems a little bit too much for an infant, he'd really have to grow into that one. Same goes for Killer, Mauler, Knife-face, and Son-of-Sam-Tom.

It can't be too girly either, no Daisy, Flower, Bumble-bee, Butter-fly, or Sparkle or anything stupid like that. I don't want my kid getting beat up before he even learns to stand.

It should be scrappy, but Scrappy is out because that's the name of Scooby-Doo's nephew. And I hate Scooby-Doo.

But I figured it out. I'll call him Scrabble. Possibly The Scrabble.

It's a little bit like scrappy, so you know he'll be ready for a fight. It's intellectual, plenty of room to grow there, it's practically famous, no worries about recognition, and you can bet your ass I'll have him ready to challenge any word you use that isn't a word.

Also, and this is my favorite part, when Scrabble grows up and has a kid, we've got the nickname "Scrabble Jr." built right in.

-t

Update: I just thought of another nickname - The Fund. As in, something all of my money will undoubtedly be invested in (possibly with diminishing returns - ha!)