Do you have to be a jackass? Who brought you up to think that was ok? When did you decide that being sneaky is better than being up front?
The girl that updates rates isn’t in yet. Maybe she’s going to call in sick, maybe she missed her train, we don’t know. If she doesn’t come in it will fall to me to update rates, meanwhile the newbies are getting antsy.
“Do you know if she’s in today?”
“Do you know if she’s on vacation?”
“Did she call in sick?”
First of all, no. Second of all, if she did call she wouldn’t call me, she’d call the manager, why don’t you ask him?
Because you’re sneaky and a jackass. You wait until the manager walks over to her desk to see if she’s arrived, then you get up from your desk, walk over under the pretext of kidding around with Pony Boy and say very loudly
“Wow, it’s like she’s been coming in at noon this past week, huh? Huh, ha ha, huh”
Jackass.
How about this. Instead of being a jackass and using this passive aggressive attack mode you are apparently so keen on, try not being a jackass. How’s that?
-t
10 comments:
you need to quite your job. these office posts just aren't funny anymore.
"I will quit bitching." -Tom
this isn't bitching. this is telling Lurch not to be a jackass. when I said "quit bitching" I meant specifically "I won't say 'I need a new job' or 'I hate it here'"
also, I really hate these people and they are genuinely stupid/jackasses/both, so, these posts will probably continue.
also, the office posts were never supposed to be funny adina. not all of us can come up with "blow up your partner's nose"
-t
(ok, that sounded like a dig, but seriously, that's hilarious. hi-LAR-ious)
8. bitchin (v)
Talking shit; complaining; whining
eg. Quit yo' bitchin hoe!
Your post is totally bitchin (and I mean that solely in the context of definition 8, not in the "Not just great, but bad-ass fine" way)
F
I disagree. if I had written "I hate it when..." or something similar the post would have been structured like a complaint, and your comments would be totally valid.
I didn't. I am merely suggesting, in a condescending manner, that the person in question stop being a tool.
It's observation and commentary (the commentary is the "not being a jackass" part), not complaint.
Therefore your definition is only a little valid, not totally valid.
-t
Also, why is it I get tons of comments on these posts but none at all on my "this is how I'm going to take over the world" posts?
It baffles me. I'd imagine there would be people flocking to the banner, just begging me to let them be a part of team "Tom's World Domination Bid."
Maybe it's just that I lack a good understanding of my readership's views on world domination and what makes a good blog post.
(bam)
F-
I think you mean "ho" because it sounds as if you're talking to a garden implement - which is certainly possible, but seems unlikely. I like the idea of you yelling at tools in the garden. "Get back to work, shovel!" "Don't get me wet, hose!"
they used to be funny, even if they weren't meant to be funny. remember the CG days? those were funny days.
not anymore. nowadays it is nothing but angry tom.
and i knew it wasn't a dig. i knew you loved it and would have laughed out loud if it wasn't for the "lame-o" policies at your job. at my job, i can laugh whenever i please. and you and i both know that i do.
Why are your coworkers trying to take each other down like cold-blooded gangstas??! It's really mean.
Maybe Lurch has been taking tips from Stupid Kid.
oh, they're good buddies. Lurch and thes stupid kid laugh and joke and sometimes eat lunch together. they are like peas in a pod. really stupid peas that can talk.
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