Ode to OD of the Caffeine variety (I wrote this title after I wrote the post, read it with rhythm)

Ok, I have to get this down before I start freaking out.

My head feels like it’s about to float off of my shoulders, my hands and arms are shaking and jittery, I’m feeling the onset of a pressure headache and have lost feeling below mid-thigh (which is in itself a strange place to lose feeling from).

I got little to no sleep last night. I tried (in vain) to compensate by sleeping through my alarm this morning, not getting out of bed (I won’t say “waking”) until nine fifteen…or was it nine thirty? In any case I was moving extra slowly this morning, so slowly in fact that I did not leave the house until nine fifty-two.

I felt ok. I knew I was tired but didn’t feel it, I knew I needed sleep, but it hadn’t caught up to me yet. I was functioning semi-normally at work (where I arrived more than half an hour late) during the morning hours. I knew I was not running at peak efficiency but could not put my finger on exactly what I was not doing at peak efficiency (I now believe that the task “putting my finger on” something was one of the abilities that was no longer functioning properly).

Near lunch I decided to preempt the inevitable sleep-deprivation crash by ingesting a large amount of a commercially available stimulant, in this case: caffeine.

Large coffee. (for reference’s sake: I normally partake in coffee of the “small” variety perhaps once every two or three weeks due to my propensity for a dependence on the molecule. “Large” is a near-overdose.)

Right now I am freaking out.

Caffeine high. It is decidedly not pleasant. I feel incomprehension looming. I feel like I will lose all awareness of my surroundings in just a few moments. (HA! I will probably still be better at this job than stupid kid ever will be even catatonic.)

I think my brain is shutting down in sections. First, the back section. I can’t feel it. (Yes, I can normally “feel” my brain. Shutup, Adina.)
Next to go will be the middle section.
Then the frontal lobe. Or possibly my ears. (WRONG! Your ears you’ll keep and I’ll tell you why…)

These sentences are getting harder to write. My hands are jumping all over the keyboard. I might start vibrating at supersonic speeds soon, or, you know, explode.

There is a giant vacuum in my skull now. My brain, my brain is gone.

GONE I TELL YOU