This is all about me. The world revolves around me (a physical principle I could prove to you with nothing more than a few axioms and some notes jotted down on a cocktail napkin, but which has yet to be widely accepted in the scientific community).
I am a selfish person. I also happen to be tall, witty, intelligent, and a pretty good ping pong player – but back to selfishness.
I am happy to critique. Happy to. If your hair looks ridiculous, I’ll tell you; if your clothes are awful or uncool, or the wrong color, or style, or fabric, I’ll tell you. Because I want you to look good.
But criticism is harsh, and I don’t want you to get the wrong impression.
It’s not that I care about you but have trouble expressing myself diplomatically, because I could. If I chose to, I could tell you your new hair cut looks dumb without hurting your feelings.
But that would be me being nice, and helpful and constructive. That’s not what I’m about.
I care about me. Me-me-me-me-me. I want you to look good, because if you’re around me, or associated with me, then that will make me look good. I mean, seriously, how would I look if I hung out with a bunch of losers? So I try my best to at least make sure you don’t look like losers.
So don’t be offended. I’ll tell you how to look better, and if you do what I tell you I’ll let you hang out with me. Your association with me will bump up your social status, so you’re set. What’s good for me is what’s good for you is what’s good for me. One hand washing the other.
The Epitome of Cool,
-tgme
Also, I half expect some spiteful comments about how I shouldn’t be advising anyone on fashion because I wear flannel, but that’s just petty venting – because I look awesome in flannel and you all know it.
recommended download:
Three Doors Down, Ticket To Heaven
4 comments:
I was laughing so hard that I started coughing and then choking and a coworker had to thump on my back, at which point I was practically hysterical and blue in the face. From laughing so hard.
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or sincere. I'm just going to assume that was sincere. That way I'm also a comedic genius.
But if it was sarcastic then I hope you'll read it again but you won't have a friendly coworker nearby to save you from choking to death from laughin so hard.
BAM
Flannel doesn't look good on ANYBODY. It makes people look like uneducated lumberjacks who like to shop the bargain clothing bin at Walmart on their days off.
god, you know I have strong feelings about flannel. WHY WHY did you have to go and call it out!?
And PS it is not an advisable can of worms to open if/when you start critiquing friends clothing or the way we do our hair. Especially if we are female.
I think I just determined what I'm wearing for BONYE - flannel.
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