The Berenstain Bears Go To The Dentist

Guess where I was this morning! If you guessed “sleeping in” you’re
WRONG!!! WRONG WRONG WRONG. bwahahahahahaha

Actually, I was up early because I had an appointment with…

my dentist!! (woo!)

No, seriously folks, I love the dentist. You go, you get your teeth all sparkly clean, if there are any cavities (2) they get drilled and filled, it’s a good time all around.

I don’t know why people don’t like going to the dentist…do those people enjoy poor oral hygiene? Puffy gums? Plaque!?

Anyway. I had to wake up early for a nine AM appointment and filling for my (2) cavities. Well, actually, I was only scheduled for one filling, then as I was getting my teeth cleaned they found another one (and they were both very small, thank you very much, and I’ll not have you blog readers chastising me about my brushing habits, I happen to be a regular brusher/flosser/listeriner, and I also happen to like sugar…very much. …ok, actually way more than anyone has any right to love sugar…but tough, if a few drillings is the price I pay then so be it. mmmmmm. sugar).

So. I got up early. And went to the dentist. And read a Time magazine article -

Reason number one (in chronological order) that I like my dentist:
1. The magazines in the waiting room are good magazines like Time, and Sports Illustrated, and they are always current – and Highlights never has circles drawn in the hidden pictures section.

… read a Time magazine article about Steven Spielberg’s new film Munich and now I want to go see it. But actually I only read half of the magazine article –

Reason number two (in chronological order) that I like my dentist:
2. They never make you wait long. Ever. I don’t think, in all the years I’ve been going there, that I have ever had an opportunity to finish reading an article I’ve started in the waiting room. Seriously it should be called the Not-much-of-a-wait-ing room.

… half the magazine article, because Sandy, the hygienist arrived to clean my teeth. Which she did, quickly, thoroughly, efficiently, all the while making pleasant small talk:
“So, are you a junior?”
“rhhm-hummp?”
“Thomas Jr.? Because I know your dad…”
“rhh. Nhn, whm ehm hmm dvvn mm-m nm”
“Oh, you have different middle names? That’s very interesting.”

After the cleaning Sandy took some x-rays -

Reason number three that I love my dentist (chronologically):
3. X-rays rock. Ok, I guess this is really not dentist-specific, because everybody takes x-rays, but maybe the generally happy atmosphere of this office makes even x-rays (which I find pleasant anyway) even more pleasant. Also, no matter who is taking the x-rays they always say “Watch your head” as they swing the x-ray machine over. (because I’m tall.)


… some x-rays. Good news, my impacted wisdom teeth are still impacted and look like they’re not moving or causing any pain or damage. All other teeth look healthy.

On to drilling and filling! After the cleaning I moved to the dentist’s office where he proceeded to drill and fill both (small) cavities -

Reason number four (four? I’ve lost count) that I love my dentist:
4. He always asks if you want Novocain before drilling, and he lets you play the tough guy if you want.
“Do you want Novocain?”
“Do you think I need it?”
“Well, you can go without, and if it turns out it’s a little deep or a sensitive area we can administer it then.”
“Good. No Novocain, I’m a tough guy.”

… both (small) cavities. While he drilled he started quizzing me on what I’ve been up to lately, how the family was, and if I enjoyed my job.

“Do you like your job?”
[so-so motion with hands]
“What was your major in college?”
“mm-th”
“Oh, so you could teach, would you be interested in teaching?”
“wrr, rr mm nnb rmm mm-n-r, mm-hmm.”
“Sure, sure, I can see that, after a few years then, teaching might be a better option. So if you don’t want to teach or stay in finance is there anything you’d want to do?”
[shrug]
“Well, how about top three?”
“wrr, hhn gnhh rr wmwm nnn n rr mmggn”
“For the Red Sox maybe? Pitching in the majors would be nice.”
“mmhp”
“Do you have the ability to do that?”
“nn-m”
“Well, ok. It’s a nice dream though. …What about being a dentist?”

We also talked about the recent free-agent signings and what the Sox should do for their infield troubles. I did not need any Novocain.

After the cavities were filled he reviewed my x-rays with me and sent me on my way -

Reason number five that I love my dentist:
5. He always sends you home with a new toothbrush, lots of floss, and at least one little plastic dinosaur from the bin he keeps next to the exam chair. Today I got a triceratops.


… sent me on my way, and since my job that I hate has a great health plan that covers all preventive dental work I didn’t even have to pay! (woo!).

I made an appointment for another six-month check-up at the front desk on my way out -

Reason number six that I love my dentist:
6. They are so accommodating with appointment times. Early, late, middle of the day, they are happy to shuffle things around for you. Also, they’re closed every Monday. How can you not love a business that closes on Mondays?! That’s like, the best thing I’ve ever heard.

… my way out, and headed to work. I only got there fifteen minutes late.

That was today’s visit. I had a blast.

Keep flossing, America,
-tgme