I paid my taxes last night. IRS telefile. Piece of cake. Call up, input the code they mailed me, and my social, and W2 info, done in three minutes. I accidentally hit 1 instead of 2 when asked if I wanted my refund mailed to me instead of directly deposited in my bank account, but whatever, the money's still coming.
And then, the Massachusetts telefile. Which is stupid. Because you need the amount of your 2003 refund to log into the system. Does anyone out there keep that handy? Does anyone out there believe for a second that I would go to the necessary lengths to save that bit of information from last year? Well, the answer is yes, shame on you doubters. I did keep the information. It just took me a while to find it.
The reason I kept it is the same thing happened last year, and I didn't have the previous year's return handy, actually I didn't have it at all. In any case, after struggling through filing last year I did save my return. Where? I couldn't remember.
But, let's think about this logically. Taxes should be filed before April 15th. I am not one to miss deadlines (well, if missing the deadline will cost me money). Therefore I must have filed last year while still at school. Therefore, if I saved anything it should be with my school files (My "files" being giant stacks of disorganized papers dating from May 2000 to May 2004 - including but not limited to college applications for schools I chose not to apply to or attend, every math test I ever took, approximately half of the philosophy tests I ever took, assorted flyers and advertisements for student group functions like the First Annual TerrierFest Juggling Convention -which only made it to the second annual convention, but that's a different post- and many, many receipts and bills for stuff I'm sure I paid for but probably lost). So, let's go check the files. Turns out, not as easy as it seems. The giant stacks of mostly useless paper products have been placed in a giant cardboard box that once housed my 17 inch monitor. The box has been placed in the crawl space in my brother's closet, behind a bureau which is bigger than the doorway. How they got the bureau in there I'll never know, maybe they built the walls around it, but there's no way it will fit out the door. Therefore, to get to the stacks I climb over the bureau.
The crawl space is shallow, and very short. I have about a foot and a half of clearance to get over and down behind to where the papers are. I make it, because I am nothing if not graceful and athletic. I manage to not break any bones or pieces of furniture in the process. Now, to actually find the tax return of yesteryear I need a light, cue the cell phone, my on-the-go flashlight. I spend ten minutes determining where the tax return should be and then start digging.
My files are stratified, like rock, it feels like an archeological dig searching for stuff in there. All you need to do is find something with a date on it, you know you're in the right area, old birthday cards, a freshman year transcript, a schedule from junior year, I could have been a geologist. About the only thing I didn't find in there was a wooly mammoth skeleton. Oh, the other thing I didn't find in there was my tax return.
So, I extricate myself from the crawl space, landing hard when I fall off of the bureau onto the floor, but sustaining only minor injuries, like a concussion. I resignedly begin toward the computer to print off a 1040a that will need to be filled out and mailed before friday, April 15th. AND THEN I REMEMBER WHERE MY TAX RETURN IS!
Well, no, but I remembered another place some old papers might be, and that's almost as good right? Right. So I go to the closet (my closet) and find the box my new hard drive came in (two years ago), and open it, and what do I find? My old hard drive - and below it: more papers! And right there on top, not my tax return, but a confirmation sheet, with confirmation number, and the amount of my state refund! BAM.
Fill out the MA telefile sheet, dial the numba, input and confirm. done done and done. Taxes filed. Refunds on the way. And then that Futurama episode where Bender is God, and then meets God.
happy fiscal year end.
-Tom
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6 comments:
Did you pay local taxes? I did not and I'm finding out that other people at work did not either. Are local taxes just a Moscow thing? I think I've been swindled by the people of Moscow - Pennsylvania, that is.
Ha, you suckers have state taxes?
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHa.
donny
what are "local taxes" are they like, federal and state taxes but for a smaller area? if so, then yes, you got swindled.
and kelly
we do have state taxes, but you're states the ones with all the guns and the death penalty. I like taxes better.
At least we know which your/you're to use.
and when to use an apostrophe to denote possession, as in "you're state's"
But that's not possession. I think you meant to type "...your state is the one with..." but with the contraction "...your state's the one with..." And you probably didn't want one to be plural.
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