hilarious

ok, two items to report:
1. my eye is much better today. I woke up this morning to see that the injury has been reduced to a large-ish cut under my right eye. so now instead of a giant swelling bruise it looks more like I stabbed myself in the face with a screwdriver.

2. the office is out of paper. this is the funniest thing I think that could have happened. I am trying hard not to laugh my head off every time I hear someone say "do we have any paper?"
you may understand how important it is to have a hard copy backup of your work, we print out income logs for our funds throughout the day, I'd say we could probably take out a quarter of the brazilian rainforest in a month (but we recycle). I have seven funds. Each fund has an income log and trades throughout the day. I print income logs from our groups printer, usually three times a day for each fund (21 pages). Also, a checklist for each fund at the end of the night. Trades are printed from the printer on the other side of the floor, three sheets per trade, 20 trades a day for each fund (140 pages). Managers print distribution sheets, adjustment sheets, and it's early in the month, so we're also printing budgets (50 pages each fund). There are 10 people like me in the group. There are three groups on the floor. Plus three PA groups on the floor. I don't know how many pages that is but it's something like 250 x 60 a day. Plus the report group that uses a special printer that seems to never ever ever stop printing all 9 hours I'm here at work, maybe 30000 pages a day. Ok, I lied, I did the math, it's a rough estimate but I'd guess minimum we go through about 18,000 sheets of paper a day here on the floor. And we're out of paper.

It's the funniest thing I've ever seen. I've got three managers calling other managers on the floor, and human resources, and supply asking where is our paper?, did they miss a delivery?, when will we get paper? Hyper-coffee manager has become a papernazi, carrying around a ream of paper he found and distributing sheets as-needed to members of the group. The trade printer is now out of paper and we have to take sheets to feed in manually, others on the floor are hovering like vultures, trying to time their documents to the printer so it spits out their trades instead of ours. Hilarious.

Our AVP just walked in the door, somewhat triumphantly, and announced to the group "The paper is two blocks away. they delivered it to another building." He then continued, "The truck left, so I'm going to go over there and grab a couple boxes." I think I'm going to try to head out for coffee in about twenty minutes to maybe watch the AVP lug two big boxes of paper a couple blocks on his shoulders.

This is the sort of thing that makes me wish I were management.

-tom