Alexander Graham Bell Deserves A Punch In The Nose

I get twenty to thirty phone calls a day, our phone system tracks all incoming and (most) outgoing calls.

There's a little "Call Log" button on my phone that will bring up either the Incoming or Outgoing list, which makes returning a missed call easy, no memorizing extensions, or laboriously typing names into the phone's directory via number pad

--Outgoing Call Log side rant: Any outside number or internal extension dialed from the number pad is recorded in the outgoing call log. Calling your bookie? Number's saved in the phone. Calling the team leader for help? Saved in the phone. BUT the numbers dialed from the directory service are NOT saved. It goes something like this:

"I need to call Leroy Jenkins, but I don't know his extension. I will look it up."

Press [Directory], Press [5][3][6][5][4][6][7], Select "Jenkins," Select "Call." Talk to Leroy, hang up.

Then, remember one more thing you need to ask Leroy, hit [Call Log][Outgoing] and then stare dumbly as you realize his number is not on the outgoing log.

This might be a handy feature if you're a spy and you're trying to hide people you're talking to. If you place every call through the directory your Outgoing Call Log will be entirely blank!

This is NOT handy when you need to call Leroy back for a quick check on a trade detail and you have to type his ENTIRE NAME into the directory, AGAIN. End rant.--

So, of the thirty or so calls made and received every day invariably when I check my Incoming Call Log, invariably, the most recent call is from Buddy.

Buddy who seems incapable of executing any decision on his own, ever.

I get three phone calls from Buddy for every one call from someone who is not Buddy. My incoming call list looks like this:

BUDDY
BUDDY
BUDDY
SAM
BUDDY
BUDDY
CARL
BUDDY
BUDDY
BUDDY
SAM
BUDDY
BUDDY
TIM
BUDDY
TIM
BUDDY

[Ring] "Hey, I was just going to book that trade you told me to book...is that ok?"

[Ring Ring] "I just sent you an email"

[Ring] "The pricing team asked me to forward them an email...should I go ahead and do that?"

I am not exaggerating. These are conversations that actually happen.

Once-in-a-while he'll walk over to my desk, rather than use the phone, but only for really important matters, like

"Pricing team just called. They said that they were going to email me a possible cash break and that I should ask the cash team to take a look at it...Ok?"

OK!? I know that I sometimes show a lack of initiative, but Buddy is achieving new lows in don'-t-it-yourself-ism.

Yes, you can send a cash break to the cash team! You have my permission! To do your job! Gah!

-t

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