It's Friday, Let's Vent

It's been a while since I've had these fingers o'mine pecking away at this typeboard here in front of me, so to get things moving, here's a post about some stuff at work.

1. The guy that sits behind me, across the row, drives me crazy. If he'd just keep his yap shut, or went anywhere else to prattle, I probably wouldn't mind so much, instead, he holds court at his desk whenever he can attract an audience, and when he can't he'll wait for an overheard bit of conversation and throw out a semi-topical movie misquote. Some illustrations:
   
   
   
   • Mispronounciation, talking about movies: "Ya, they were independent movies, you know, independent? They were at the Canny's Film Festival."
   
   
   • Misinformation, talking to his underlings: "You know how muscles work, right? Steroids don't make you get more muscles, see, when you lift, you're basically breaking down your muscle cells, and so your body is like 'I have to make more muscles so that doesn't happen again' right? And when you lift, your muscles get sore, so you have to stop. Steroids they help you not get sore so fast, so you can keep lifting, and it breaks down even more muscle tissue. It works because you know when you lift your muscles produce folic acid, and the acid eats away at the cells, and that's why it burns, and steroids stop it from burning so you can keep working out."
   
   
   • Mississippi, caught in a lie by a girl from MS:
     "When my wife got her law degree we talked about moving, so I was looking at places and one of my buddies said I should look in Jackson, MS, and I found this like huge mansion with a separate house on the lot for carriages, that had an attached apartment and tons of land for like two-hundred fifty, to three-hundred thousand."
     "Oh, really? A mansion? That seems like a lot"
     "Um, uh, well, it's in a town of like only four thousand people..."
     "Because a lot of my friends live down there and, they all have houses, but nothing like that for three hundred."
     "Uh, and, you've got to remember this is in like '98... and uh... well, we ended up buying a house in Bridgewater - I'm late for a meeting."
   
   
   
   
   
2. LOST spoilers. Luckily, I'm up-to-date on the most recent LOST episodes, so this isn't a factor for me, but, when three or four people start throwing out theories (dumb theories) and someone else nearby says 'What are you talking about? That show LOST? I haven't watched it.' and thye continue to talk about significant plot developments! (hint: everybody dies! jk, jk). I mean seriously, knock it off, don't spoil what is clearly a good show. You want to talk about Jericho or drivel of that nature go right ahead.



3. That thirty-something senior-eff-ing manager on the floor who insists on behaving like a twelve-year-old wearing two pigtails on the sides of her head, and using a mock-whiny high-pitched voice to complain about missing her coffee break because she thinks it's cute. It's not.



4. Coors Light sucks. The beer is undrinkable unless chilled so much that the cold temperature overwhelms its many flaws (flavor, body, color, finish, aftertaste). Kudos, I guess, to the marketing team that turned "This beer is only drinkable if it's so cold it numbs your whole head" into a legitimate tag line "Brewed cold, taste the Rockies" or something like that, but I'm immediately revoking those same kudos for producing the awful, "Let's Vent" television spot that lends this post its ironic title. It's beer. In a can. Open and pour. Don't be a jackass, and don't put tools on tv. I change the channel when that ad airs.

-t

18

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