When I come in to work in the morning I open gmail and my RSS reader as soon as I sit down at my computer. I don't do any real work until early afternoon (at the earliest).
I spend the morning hours reading blogs, occasionally chatting, occasionally posting.
But these are all stall tactics. I realized this morning what I'm stalling for:
What I'm really doing in the morning hours is waiting for someone to come by and tell me I've made a mistake.
Let that sink in. I spend at least three hours at the start of my day, everyday, waiting for my lazy manager or insolent Bob to tell me I did something wrong.
Because I know I have. I'm pretty sure I've done a lot of things wrong. I'm absolutely sure that I have not done a number of things I should have done.
And I assumed that supervisors and managers would review my work to catch any mistakes I'd made, then review procedures with me to correct mistakes and prevent future occurences.
So, right now, in these morning hours, when I expect to be confronted with my mistakes, how about you readers try and spot one I've made?
Ok, you don't have to. It's right there. A few lines up. In red.
It seems the modus operandi around here is "do nothing, review nothing, leave everyone alone." Mistakes aren't caught daily because no one's looking. No reviews. Nothing.
Then at month-end I have two or three people saying things like "Well, did you accrue the management fee?" and "Did you book the admin fee when it was billed?" and "Did you book these trades?"
The answer, usually, is "No." Sometimes I can answer with "Yeah, I thought I did. How do I check?"
I think the three important steps are:
1. Knowing what you're supposed to do/when you're supposed to do it.
2. Knowing how to do it.
3. Knowing how to check that it was done correctly.
I understand point #2 about half the time. But for #1, 3? I'm at a loss. Perpetually.
So, here I sit, this Wednesday morning, waiting for someone to tell me what I've done wrong.
I don't do anything because (point #1) I don't know when I'm supposed to do something, or what that something might be.
I can't catch my own mistakes, that I'm sure I've made, because (#3) I don't know how to check.
I'm forced, from time to time, to send questing emails to Insolent Bob and my lazy manager. "I just booked this trade. I don't know if I did it right. Can you check it?" It's two-to-one they respond.
The depth of futility can be measured in leagues.
I've lost that sense of frustration though. For a short while it was despair, but now, now it's apathy.
This afternoon I'll start work on the few trivial things I can do. Until then it's reading, posting, and chatting.
But, really, it's waiting.
-t
recommended download:
Tenacious D, Tribute
Theme, I Dream Of Genie
and
Janis Joplin, Mercedes Benz
8 comments:
Actually your first mistake was misspelling "earliest" in the first paragraph.
I didn't ask you, reader Donny, to find my "first" mistake, just "one" mistake.
Also, I fixed "earliest."
-t
Then you can fix "wednesday" and "leagues." :-p
Seriously, your job is depressing.
This reminds me of a job I had in my early 20s. A lot of people don't know how to be a manager - managing isn't just bossing people around...
As much as I suffered in my early 20s, things have gotten much better for me so I can only hope things will get better for you someday. Or you might find a job that's a better fit - clearly you want to learn if you've identified what the issues are.
ah - the move from frustration to apathy is the one that really crushes your soul.
For me, that was two months ago.
I'm holding out hope. My manager is leaving within the next three weeks, maybe a new manager will make a difference. Also, if Insolent Bob stopped working here. That would make a huge difference.
-t
I don't understand the title. Would it help if I read your entire post?
In this case?
Yes.
-t
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