THIS IS A CULTURE RAISED BY THE INTERNET
HOW CAN YOU CUT OFF MY ACCESS TO THE ONLINE COMMUNITY
THERE IS NO INTERACTION
THERE IS NO COMMUNICATION
I AM LOSING IT
Leaving me without AIM is like taking a fish out of water. … Should I be that dramatic?
Yes. This is like taking away AIR. I LACK THE OXYGEN TO BREATHE ONLINE.
MY CAPILLARIES ARE CLOSING OFF – I AM STARTING TO SEE BLACK SPOTS IN FRONT OF MY EYES
This might be the first generation immune to the effects of carpal tunnel syndrome. Our tendons and ligaments have adapted to the previously too-rigorous near-constant 60wpm messaging speed. Links are our slang. Google is a verb because we made it a verb.
I THRIVE ON ELECTRONS EMITTED VIA CATHODE RAY TUBE
I have been cut off from this community, my family, my home(page) (hahaha).
WHO CARES IF I AM A LESS EFFECTIVE EMPLOYEE WHEN I AM ONLINE? THAT IS LIKE BEING A LESS EFFECTIVE SPEAKER WHILE CHEWING
Nothing makes sense anymore. There is no reason to cruise the internet if I cannot pass on what I’ve learned, what I’ve looked at, what I’ve read.
I AM A SOCIAL CREATURE WITHOUT A SOCIETY. I AM ALONE.
Strip me of my eyes, my ears. I can no longer detect the presence of others online. Blogging cannot substitute. Blogging is call-and-response. AIM is instantaneous. Blogging is talking to the moon over the radio.
AIM IS BETTER THAN SEX. (so I’ve heard, based on what I know about sex)
I weep when I imagine more days like this. Cold, afraid, alone. Typing muscles atrophy, neurons stop firing. Wit and sarcasm shrivel up and die. The end of AIM at work is the end of an era: An era marked by newer and more fabulous ways to avoid work; marked by physics-boggling near-instantaneous passage of time over previously super-boring intervals.
I have entered an alternate universe, without instant messenger where time actually slows down in brain-killing physics-boggling passage of boring intervals.
No contact. Stranded in the real world.
I WAS A SOCIAL CREATURE. WATCH ME WASTE AWAY TO NOTHING
-the end-
(recommended download: Morcheeba, Everybody Loves A Loser)
8 comments:
Tom...for the love of God just quit the job. It's a horrible job. It's probably giving you hypertension. You're going to stroke out and I will be sad.
Plus, I don't have anyone to talk to on AIM during the day. See? It's hurting us all. :-p
i hate to be a corporate-sider, but AIM is blocked on my work computer too and i think it's probably better that way. i don't know how effective i would have been this past year and half if i had tom IMing me funny links every five minutes. well, i know how effective i would have been and that is ZERO EFFECTIVE.
of course, i'm not 100% positive about AIM being BLOCKED on my computer, but my boss said once, "AIM is SO illegal here. this woman we worked with used to sit on AIM all day and file her nails." so i've just taken that as a not so subtle hint and never even attempted to download it.
now the day they take away blogs, that will be an angry day.
ps tom this post is a little psycho get a grip.
oh, I know it's hurting us all. John said as much in a previous comment.
and relax, I don't have hypertension.
though "hyper" would be a cool prefix to some ability...
Hypersight, Hyperhearing,
wait, that should be Hypervision, Hyperhearing, if it were Hypersight then it should be
Hypersight, Hypersound. That's no good.
On the other hand, Hypervision sounds stupid.
Ok,
Hypersight, Hypersound, Hyperspeed, Hyperstrength.
That would be cool.
-t
at my old job the IT department actually INSTALLED AIM on the computers of everyone in my department. it was helpful so that we could consult with each other while talking on the phone with a customer, without the customer really knowing. we used it for that reason sometimes, but more often the messages were like, "Julie! Hot UPS man just pulled into parking lot. Is coming up stairs. Be ready!"
The only time the IT department really put their foot down was when people would download huge amounts of streaming video and it would legitimately slow down the network. They made the policy that we could only d/l "small amounts" of streaming video.
I'm really just posting this to rub it in. Hahaha.
great comment. great comment, jackie. well done.
-t
have you tried any of the following:
trillian
aim express
google talk/gmail chat
i hate to see all this withdrawal.
Rosy, it's halfway voluntary. They said "don't use AIM" I said "ok"
It's not that I don't have access, it's that this time, if I get caught, I will be fired.
at first it was fine
then I got caught and warned "don't get caught"
then they issued a direct order "do not use"
it's why I'm not online now.
ps. how's that resume looking, I haven't even received a confirmation email.
(bam!)
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