I blame Dick

Ok, there are two people in this story and I'm going to use pseudonyms. The guy is Dick. The girl is Sarah.

I hate, and love, the summer. This came to me earlier tonight, on the ride home graciously offered to me by two friends who shall remain nameless (because there are only two people in this story). It's the summer months. It's also during those weeks that formerly comprised Christmas break. Also, it happens sometimes just randomly during the year. You know what I'm talking about: lovestruck. Damn the romantic in me.

This really sucks when there is no object of affection. Then it turns into depressing, bitter (sometimes), lonliness. But not this time, this time, there is an object of my affection, and her name is Sarah.

But see, as it is always the case, Sarah has no idea, and no interest in being the object of my affection, she has no interest in affecting me in any way. As is always the case.

I blame Dick. It's his fault. Not the romantic waxing of my conscious mind, that's my fault. It's his fault that Sarah's involved.

For a while I sort of liked Sarah, thought she was pretty cool, but nothing happened. She moved on, found a guy, dated the guy, years passed. I also dated some girls. One... liked the company of other men a little too much, one was short, one was psycho, one was pretty cool but hated me because I was a jerk.

Anyway. I find myself again, unattached. I see Dick a little while ago. Dick mentions Sarah once had a thing for me. Dick tells me he's spoken to Sarah, and that she liked me, once, back in the day. This is at the time that I thought she was pretty cool. And Dick knew both of these things. And he did not inform either party (Sarah or myself). Days pass. Dick mentions he saw Sarah yesterday, told her about that time that she and I liked each other but didn't know it, but he knew it and didnt' say anything then, but he is now. And then Dick tells me that Sarah said right now, she would think about liking me again, if not for this guy she just met and thinks she likes. Because she's been out on a few dates with him. But if not for him, then she'd be giving me a look.

Honestly. You know Dick, if you'd mentioned this mutual attraction two years ago Sarah and I may already have had a go at it, and found out how it ends... But no, now she's dating some guy, I'm caught up in the summer fever, and she has no idea. Unless, Dick, you've already told her. But whatever. The point of the story isn't that I like a girl.

The point of the story is that I like liking girls. I like the emotional rollercoaster that runs my brain. It's a good time. I feel, therefore I am.

Anyway, it's Dick's fault. Stupid Dick.

-t

This sort of feeling is why I say things like "if you have a secret crush on me, today is a good day to tell me." word.

Hey IT guys, I know you're reading this everyday so here is a big FUCK YOU, for you IT guys

Hey, IT guys who work at my company. FUCK YOU. That's right I said it. I'm on to you now you know. I've figured out your little game. So I'm sending a big Fuck You, from yours truly, to your whole staff.

You blocked the email sites, and I got by. I use my work email address now. I know you like it that way because you can scan and read everything that touches my In-and-OutBox. You get off on that don't you IT guys? Don't you?

You blocked ebay, because you couldn't handle it. Because you wanted me spending more time emailing, so you would have more correspondence to slake your voyeuristic thirsts. But I got by.

Then you blocked craigslist. I grew more and more upset. Because now I can no longer laugh at slimy personals (there is, after all, a little voyeur in everyone), I can no longer search for used ping pong tables. IT guys, I didn't spend a lot of time on craigslist, but you blocked it anyway. You're just exercising your power on whims, trifles. I know you're reading this IT guys.

I've long suspected it. Obviously you have a log of the urls this IP address visits, no doubt this site is high on that list. You checked it out. You thought it would be a hoot to read up on the new guy. I bet it was. Did you spend any time trying to figure out my pseudonyms? Trying to match my descriptions of coworkers and their fake blog-names to the real thing? An amusing afternoon game I'd wager.

I know you're reading this, IT guys, because you just blocked The Random Muse. Get your laughs in now. Go ahead, I'll allow it. Chuckle to yourselves, "we'll block his links, one-by-one," chuckle, enjoy it while it lasts.

Who's next? Mighty Girl? Aha. You were thinking that, weren't you? You were thinking of blocking her next. But now that I've guessed you're reading, will you continue with the plan? If you do block her then you've just confirmed your readership. Or do you wait, try and play it cool, stay safe, in the shadows of the ones and zeros you call home. That's right, run. Run and hide with your brackets and backslashes. Take your command-line prompts and retreat to the IT guy break-room. I'm on to you. And you should be scared.

Because now, IT guys, now I have something I've lacked for a long while. I have motivation. A purpose. Drive. I'm going to hack your system. That's right, I said it. I'm going devote some serious time and energy to the art of hacking. I'm going to be good. Real good, and when the time is right, I'm going to infiltrate your system. The monitors will become the monitored. I am going to hover over your shoulders. I am going to slip through your firewalls, I am going to rewrite programs, re-seed random number generators, reuse code in ways you cannot possibly imagine.

And all the while IT guys, all the while? I'm going to begin a campaign to work my way up the corporate ladder, to establish myself in a position that has authority over your office. And IT guys? I'm going to take it all away. Your perks, your freedoms, your privacy.

IT guys. FUCK YOU.

-Tom

What's going on here

**
Danny's been quoting Monty Python for a week now. Mostly the part about the "farcical aquatic ceremony."
It's been pretty hot out lately. Very humid too.
We've played lots of wiffleball.
I was invited to a club friday night (and didn't go).
I was supposed to meet some friends Saturday night, but they changed their plans (and I didn't go).
I've seen Dustin Hoffman's MTV Movie Awards acceptance speech six times this weekend.
I've seen the Red Sox (finally) win one against the Cubs (way to go staff-veteran Wakefield) .
I watched Young Guns three times, Back to the Future (I and II) twice.
And I've played about six hours of N64 with Timmy and Danny.

It was a pretty good weekend.

Oh, also, the remainder (and therefore the majority) of my time this past weekend was spent among great literary company. New tpb's from comicopia, the last of Orson Scott Card's Shadow trilogy, and the begining of Isaac Asimov's Foundation series.
**



Today at work they took another fund away from me. I'm down to three easy tax-frees and two not-so-easy taxables. Budgets continue to occupy my time.

-Tom
recommended download: The Old 97's, Melt Show

Climate control

Scattered thoughts

* coworker talking about how much he loves central air and not having it growing up has now developed a dependence on it.

* coworkers bashing the sox, because it's 11-2 right now and even maddux hit a home run.

* earlier today had trouble logging in to a website, concluded the possiblity my password had been hacked was high. realized using first name is not the best idea for a password. tonight I will reset all passwords.

* the office is hot and sticky all-of-a-sudden. they've either shut off the air-conditioning, broken it, or I am melting.

*realizing new coworker is maybe a moron, scatter-brain, or ditz having overheard phone conversation where bastille day was explained to her and she still didn't get it.

* thinking this post was just an excuse to recommend a song that's running through my head

-tom**

recommended download: roots manuva, dreamy days

**(no longer used as a password)

Third time's the charm

So, twice now I've posted about being stuck in the revolving doors. (once, twice, two times a lady). It happened again Wednesday.

But this time it was my fault.

I went out to lunch, and sort of just walked around for a while. I stopped in Borders and bought a few new books (Shadow Puppets, Prelude to Foundation, Foundation, and Sins Past). Then I went and grabbed a slice of pizza and a drink, and then I headed back into the building.

The items I was carrying were unwieldy. The pizza was hot, and the oil was soaking through the paper bag. The drink was covered in condensation and slipping out of my hands. The books were in a bag in the other hand. I had no free hand to get my security card to swipe into the door. So when I got up to the door I had to do a little juggling (which I can do, btw) to free up a hand. While I was transferring the pizza to one hand, and the drink to the crook of my elbow, and reaching for the security ID I took my eyes off the door. That was my mistake.

As soon as I had fished the ID out of my pocket I swiped and stepped into the door. I had not seen the person on the other side trying to exit while I was rearranging my purchases. We got stuck. But! having been in this situation before, I was prepared. I simply pushed the door through its rotation and entered the building. Cool, calm, collected, and covered in drink condensation, pizza oil, and dropping books left and right.

Next time, I'll just have more hands.

-Tom
recommended download:
Stephen Kellogg, Who Am I

Spearmint v. Winterfresh

So, I'm not what you'd call a gum-chewer. I chew gum ocassionally. Mostly, I chew Winterfresh. I always chew sugar-free (I've had some issues with too much sugar in my diet, love it as I do). I usually chew Extra.

So, the past few packs (like, a half a pack a week, tops) I've been chewing Extra Sugar-free Winterfresh gum. It comes in a blue pack, the gum is white-ish. It tastes like whatever winterfresh is supposed to taste like. It's pretty good.

Well, yesterday, I decided to switch it up, give Spearmint a try. And folks, what is up with the neon-yellow colored gum? It is strange. My first thought went something like "is radioactive gum safe to eat?" Weird looking gum. Also, no lasting power. None. Pop it in your mouth, spearmint (not a bad flavor, but I've decided, it's no winterfresh), and then...nothing. Two chews, flavor's out the window.

So I'll buzz through this pack, and when I'm done, I'm going back to the white-ish, longer lasting, non-mutagenic winterfresh.

-Tom
recommended download: Don Hertzfeldt's short animated flick, Ah, L'amour

That time I was generous

So I was just reading Midwestgrrl's latest and hit that link she has in there to read the back story, and it reminded me of something that happened just a few weeks ago.

It's not something I'd remember readily, because I was plastered at the time.

It was night. I was drunk. I was walking to the train.
I was approached by what seemed to be a very normal person. She seemed also to be a little distraught. Middle-aged, clutching her jacket, she said "Excuse me, I don't normally beg for money, but I need seventeen dollars to get home tonight and blah blah blah"

Like I said, I was plastered.

So I reached into my pocket for one of the two bills I knew I had. A twenty-dollar bill, and a one-dollar bill. I figured, why not give her a buck? And I pull out the twenty and hand it to her. Not because I see it's the twenty and I'm afraid stopping, reaching back into my pocket and giving her a "here's a dollar is really all that I have, except for this twenty in my other hand," but because I'm like "fuck it, take the twenty, I'll only spend it on coffee or donuts or a hamburger or something."

And she was like, amazed. Like, she wanted to hug me. Since I'd covered her transportation costs and left her enough for a large hazelnut coffee from dunkin' donuts. But I took off, because it's one thing to be accidentally overgenerous to a strange woman at night in boston, and it's quite another to be drunk and get a bear hug from a strange woman at night in boston because you just handed her some cash. She was still thanking me while I was walking away. I was all, "buzz off lady, now I just want to go home."

-tom
recommened download:
Pushstars, Millionaire

Oh, king, eh - very nice. And how'd you get that, then? By exploiting the workers!

wtf, readers, wtf.

Now, viruses - Have you heard about this? - viruses. They are these, like, computer programs, that like, mess with your computer. They're everywhere man. They just like, float around the internet. Click on a thing, and you can get infected. It's actually, actually very noble of them, I think. I think it's very noble of these IT guys to try and protect us from these viruses. What do they get in return? Nothing. No recognition, no money, they do it out of the goodness of their hearts.

They know, they know that a generation that grew up online, a generation that helped write most of the content that exists online, can't recognize funny hyperlinks when they see them. These IT guys, they're smart. They know that regular internet users just go around blindy clicking and downloading without a thought or care as to the virulent potential of strange files. That's why they block all those websites.

It's not to prevent you from accessing email (yahoomail.com, gmail.com, hotmail.com). It's to protect you from accessing virus-encoded email. You've all heard the stories: that kid sister of a friend you had in college, starzz&8utterflyz89@yahoomail.com, who still forwards chain emails to you at work sent a fun online quiz and when you clicked the hyperlink a virus got in allowing hackers access to the identities and PINs of eight thousand credit card holders. Then, there was that one time, in India, where a guy bought a thing on ebay and crashed the World Bank. And that other time, when a poor college graduate was looking for cheap housing in boston on craigslist which caused every computer in his building to explode simultaneously killing three and wounding seventeen others (two of them vice presidents).

Oh, wait, what was that? That never happened? RIGHT. I mean come on. WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM IT GUYS?


They blocked craigslist. How am I supposed to look for stuff I need cheap? hmm? I can't get a ping pong table unless I pay retail? Is that it? Amazon's ok? But I can't search for apartments...ON A TEXT-BASED HTML WEBSITE? W.T.F. (mate).

block email - annoying? yes. makes sense? yes. email's a bitch. loaded with spam and viruses. I get it.
block ebay? what? how is that harmful? maybe to my paycheck.
and now craigslist?! WTF is your problem?

gah. so listen up. STOP BLOCKING SITES THAT I LIKE TO VISIT. A generation of internet savy employees ARE NOT GOING TO DOWNLOAD ANY VIRUSES.

ESPECIALLY NOT FROM AN AUCTION OF Star Wars memorabilia OR THE APARTMENT LISTINGS ON CRAIGLIST.

-tom
recommended downloads:
Pearl Jam, Garden, and Go

We're knights of the round table, our shows... are for---mid-able
Though many times, we're given rhymes, that are quite un-sing-able
It's a happy time in Camelot, we sing from the diaphragm a lot!!

on The Amazing Spider-man 8: Sins Past

AWESOME that was maybe the best twist ever

and it was even better because I had NO IDEA IT WAS COMING

see, this isn't the stuff you expect, you just don't expect it, from the spiderman titles. you expect: bad guy, probably animal-related; something scienc-y; biff, pow; threat to aunt may; semi-clever twist, usually involving a the sciency thing and using it in a new way to defeat the bad guy; end of story

BUT NOTHING THIS GOOD HAS HAPPENED IN A LONG WHILE. I mean, come on, that whole "clone" thing...that was misguided

BUT THIS, THIS IS INCREDIBLE

I just had to put the book down because it was so good. This is almost like in Reservoir Dogs when Mr. Orange says that thing. I had to stop the movie and like, just take it in for a while before I watched the end.

THIS WAS GREAT!

-tom

recommended download:
Sarah Harmer, Dogs and Thunder
Bush, Come Down

The bad stuff that happens and nobody notices

So hello readers. I've been doing a little thinking. (not a lot, I doubt I could get away with a lot of thinking in this corporately-charged environment, it's quite stifling). I've been thinking about you bloggers out there. Mostly about you anonymous bloggers out there that I've never met and don't know personally (or e-personally). There is some pretty serious blogging going on out there.

Like, skipping around, trying to find things to read, I've read some blogs authored by psych patients, by cancer patients, by divorcees, by near-divorcees, and wow man, there is some serious shit going on.

So, right here, this post, this is as serious as you'll see me get. Ever. This is the post where I mention bad things that could happen, and then tell you what you would read if bad things like that ever happened to me or people with whom I am close.

Bad things like:
death - this is a big one. there are many degrees, I will start small.
death of a pet, like a fish -- this probably earns a sentence or two in a post by way of setting a scene, or as "something that happened leading up to the subject of this post." for example, we've got a fish at home that hasn't been fed in I think three weeks and it's still kicking (or flipping its fins), it's sort of like the fish that will never die.

death of a pet, like a dog -- probably mentioned in a short, sad, post, just to keep people informed.

death of a person, esp. a loved one -- you will never ever hear about this. ever. I don't like sad things, I like bringing them to people even less.

bodily injury - this is happens sometimes
scrapes, bruises, general falling-down -- this will certainly get posted about, like the time danny jumped a fence and had to go get stitches.

life-threatening bodily injury -- like a life-altering paralysis. you won't see it here folks. much to grave.

sadness, despair, hate, rage, anger, fear - basically, for you star wars nuts, all the emotions that lead to the dark side. I'm not a big fan of these emotions. so they won't get much of a mention. frustration may be the exception, but that's really less about the dark side and more about blocking the light side, it's a force-neutralizer.


So, as a rule, if something bad happens, you won't know about it. I like it like that. If something good happens, you will hear about it. And, it may be true that limiting the content of the blog may also limit its impact, especially its dramatic impact, well, tough. I'd much rather sacrifice drama to promote the inane and immaterial. A person is just as happy as he makes his mind up to be...and so is his blog.

-Tom
recommended download: Dave Matthews Band, 41

It's days like this that burn me

On the train in today I sat across from a babysitter with two small boys. They were maybe five and three. The five year old was all over the place, every time a train passed in the opposite direction he'd exclaim "WOW! A train!" The three year old was busy climbing out of the stroller.

The commuter next to the five year old started talking to him about the trains, like the "special train" they use to pull other trains, and the train they use to plow the snow off the tracks. I thought that if I had been talking to the kid I would not have told him the giant blue building with the purple stripe housed trains, but that it was a base for flying saucers. The three year old stole the babysitter's sunglasses and was trying to eat them.

I enjoyed the commute...but I've always loved trains.

-Tom
recommended download:
Bob Schneider, Big Blue Sea, and God Is My Friend

That's the Power of Love

Music can save me. And has. One a number of ocassions. Like today. Music saved me today.

Things went wrong today. Music saved me on the ride home. This playlist:

Counting Crows, Omaha (twice)
Good Charlotte, The Story Of My Old Man
Mitch and Mickey, A Kiss At The End Of The Rainbow (twice)
The Offspring, Walla Walla
Pearl Jam, Porch
Bob Seager, Turn The Page (Live)

-Dennis, there's some lovely filth over here!

tom

recommended download, that playlist

Help, help! I'm bein' repressed!

Weekend wrap-up:
Friday night: baseball, see previous post for pics

Saturday: slept in, left at 2pm for a performance of the Macaroni Family Circus in Middletown CT, an act in which my cousin Nathan plays a big role (Dr. Melvin the absent-minded circus doctor). Nathan and his buddies wowed the crowd with juggling, club passing, acrobatics/contortions, and a sick diablo act. It was a good show with amazingly skilled kids and well played humor (grabbing a "volunteer" from the audience for the club passing bit Dr. Melvin gave him a helmet with a dramatically delivered "this helmet is of course, ... for your protection").

We then bombed back to the city to get my mom to work, doing about 95 mph the whole way back. Also, we almost ran out of gas trying to get back home. It was very close, but we made it.

Sunday: We watched Miracle and then we watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail, def one of the top three comedies ever. I will be quoting that movie for a couple weeks. "He can leap about..., look at the bones!"

Maybe he was dictating,
-tom

recommended download: Yellowcard

FENWAY PARK BABY

Press box
Originally uploaded by a20261.

These are my favorite ten from the game. Go Red Sox.

Red Sox Photo Set

The stove is hot, don't touch the stove

See, the existence of the list sort of makes me want to read the books on the list.

"HUMAN EVENTS asked a panel of 15 conservative scholars and public policy leaders to help us compile a list of the Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries....Appropriately, The Communist Manifesto, by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels, earned the highest aggregate score and the No. 1 listing." -humaneventsonline

-Tom
recommended download:
Dropkick Murphys, Gonna Be A Blackout

oh good lord, is this...WORK?

Yes. Work. LOTS OF WORK.

Listen, I don't know where you're coming from, but this isn't what I signed up for. No sir. No sir, thank you, it is not.

You want me to work? I apologize, I'm just not getting this: Come in (on time). Turn on computer. Do productive and professional things efficiently without a break or slacking off until quitting time. Really. I mean, really. Really?

I'm stymied. *** *** ***

I'm working A TON now. This isn't really what I signed up for...but I guess this is what they think I signed up for, or what they think I can handle... and don't get me wrong here, I can totally handle it...but just barely. Barely.

Like, this is Work-To-The-Max. You know that bit Seinfeld does, about extra-strength pain-killers? "Extra-strength, advanced-strength, pretty soon it'll be 'figure out what will kill me...and then back it off a little bit." Yeah, that's where I am now.

HOW MUCH WORK CAN BE CRAMMED INTO ONE SEVEN POINT SEVEN FIVE HOUR DAY?

GUUAAAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!

Folks, it's a lot of work. Zero downtime. None. I probably won't even sign on today. Like, at all. I might have to eat lunch at my desk today, if I have enough time to leave the building to get lunch. THERE IS SO MUCH TO BE DONE!

a quick synopsis: Manager's called for jury duty, Chuck has the day off, Blitzen's last day was yesterday, Booger will probably call in AGAIN (sidenote: just learned that he is on his second probationary period, what the hell is going on there), leaving four of us plus one manager (the one who didn't quit and isn't at jury duty, the one who doesn't know anything about budgets, feeders, or expenses and guess-what-no-don't-guess-I'll-tell-you the work I am doing is soley budgets feeders and expense related so he'll be almost no help) four of us, from an original staff of twelve to do the regular work of twelve plus budgets - without - the manager that knows budgets and basically did most of the tricky ones himself.

I'm amazed. Please tell me you people out there don't like, do this amount of work on a regular basis. I could probably only handle this for like, two days of the year, and really only if the next day was a vacation day plus my birthday, or you know, if I'm going to a Red Sox game right after work and then the weekend. (by the way, today after work I'm going to a Red Sox game, and then it's the weekend.)

BAM

-Tom
recommended download:
The Eagles, Take It Easy (I was watching the Eagles Farewell Tour last night ;)

Yeah, you know what, I'm too tired to post

I'm just way too tired. I blame MarioKart until 1 AM. Just think how tired I'm going to be when I finally get the Nintendo revolution and can play Double Dash to my heart's content.

There is a lot of stuff going on around me, metaphorically, that I feel like I should comment on. Lots of lives dramatically changing. Changing relationships, changing jobs, changing apartments, and it feels like this is all significant, like there is something big at work and I should be talking about it. I'm too tired to think it through, though. There is something big at work. It is affecting everyone. Bigger than "this is my first summer without a summer vacation because now I have a job." That's a one-liner, a punchline, a joke. It kinda seems like whatever is happening is happening BIG.

So instead of trying to think about and then explain what may be going on, I'm going to list people that things are going on to, so maybe later I can come back when my brain is working on the same plane of reality and I can try and figure things out:
Kelly, John, Kate, Lindsay, Felecia, Donny, Ray, Kat, Dan, Joe, Dan, Carolyn, me, Ashley, Ann, and Catherine.

-tgme

recommended download:
Lucky Boys Confusion, Ordinary

How this weekend was more about having a good time, and less about work...

Actually, this weekend was about no work at all.

Friday I arrived home to a new game. Score Four, maybe you've heard of it, it's like a three-dimensional Connect-Four. We played that for about five hours while watching movies on television. Saturday we watched movies on television and played Score Four for probably about six hours, I also played some wiffleball. Sunday we went to my cousin's house for a cookout and some Star Wars trivial pursuit. I totally won (which was nice, because the last time we played my cousin beat me six pie pieces to like, one, and it was about time I came back from that defeat), I played as the Darth Vader game piece.

Sunday night I went over to Felecia and Lindsay's place for a party. (hi guys). It was such a rockin' party that the neighbors called the cops. I don't really remember though because I had way to much whiskey and am still hungover. (fyi - longest hangover was three and a half days after I consumed the larger half of a bottle of captain morgan's rum, I fully expect this hangover I'm on now to rival that as a close second).

Felecia and Lindsay graciously let me crash at their place Sunday night and even more graciously didn't make me move at all when I woke up monday morning. (Which worked out for everyone, as I would guess they wanted me hurling all over their nice clean apartment about as much as I wanted me to, which is none at all, which is why it was so nice of them not to you know, make me move excessively, or even at all, or even like, breathe heavily, or that is exactly what would have happened.)

After two hours of not moving, plus some pills and half a glass of water I was able to stagger out the door and to the car for a day of doing nothing in the car. It was great. (except for the nausea-hangover-feeling-like-I-was-drinking-nitroglycerine-and-not-100-proof-whiskey-all-night-and-now-it's-just-sitting-in-my-stomach-and-if-I-move-it-will-explode-taking-me-and-probably-these-people-sitting-near-me-with-it feeling.) Anyway. I sat and moaned through other people's breakfast at Sunset. Then sat and moaned a little less on the ride to the mall. Then walked around the mall with other people. [sidenote: being hungover severly reduces my desire to spend money on frivolities like ten dvds at a time and the whole transformers collection (buy three get the fourth for one penny) at k.b. toys, so I guess I've found a treatment for my rampant consumerism but at what cost.] I'd like to take this opportunity to send out a big "thanks for the patience you have shown to your very very very hungover friend" to those other people right now.

So anyway, a long time at the mall, and I didn't buy one thing. Not one movie. Not one cd. Not one action figure. I'd think about calling it a victory, but I won't because I can't even type the words "southern comfort" without getting nauseous all over again.

So I'll just drink my gatorade here at work and keep my head down. I'll probably have recovered by thursday.


-Tom
recommended downloads:
Weezer b-sides (now available on the two-disc re-release of "Weezer" their first cd)
Bob Schneider, Big Blue Sea
Matt Nathanson, Princess

They like me, they really like me!

Today was a good day. That's not something I say very often. It's not that there aren't mostly bad days, it's that today is noteworthy.

Today started with tons of work. I had my six normal funds, in addition to the Ireland fund, and the giant fund that I'm still learning, and if I mess it up it's a big deal. Also, three guys are out of the office, one scheduled, one quit, and one called in, so I'm covering two more funds. It's pretty busy.

I sneak out for lunch, but it's quick because I have a lot of work to do. When I walk back into the office I bump into Sharon, a manager on the other side of the floor. She has been hovering around my desk looking for me because aparently without my knowledge my manager volunteered me for a roundtable focus group to adapt the training procedures for new hires. Ok, so we go to the group and waste half an hour.

Then, slush. The company bought the floor slush, in cotton candy, lemon, and tropical flavors. I had cotton candy.

Then, I head back to my desk to do the work that I haven't looked at in hours, and my manager pulls me into the conference room. He shuts the door and then goes on for ten minutes about how much my hard work is appreciated and that my good attitude has been recognized, and that he has just requested to his boss that I get a raise. "Nothing crazy," he said, "not like, ten thousdand dollars or anything." But hey, that's ok. You had me at "appreciated" you tell me you're giving me a raise too? That's icing on the cake. BAM

It's nice to be appreciated.

-Tom

recommended downloads:
Marcy Playground, Never, Comin' Up From Behind, and Rebel Sodville

California girls

Today I woke up even later than yesterday. I wasn't planning to, it just sort of happened. I still made it to work on time. I'm the man.

Roosevelt, the guy across from me with the aerosol dependence was out yesterday and I covered two of his funds. He's supposed to be taking the Ireland fund from me so when he comes in I'm going to train him on it. Also, Charles (the complainer) has today off, so I'll be covering one of his funds. Except wait, oh no, Charles is out, but Roosevelt called-in! I'm pretty sure the train doesn't break down that often, after all, I made it in. And yesterday was the new guy's last day. So we're down three guys, I've got the Ireland fund in addition to the new fund I don't really understand yet, my regular funds, and also two more I'm covering for the absentees.

Management is upset. They usually get this upset when Roosevelt calls in. I can't understand why they haven't given him the axe.

With double the workload today I'm hoping this long weekend will seem twice as long.

-Tom
recommended downdloads:
Marcy Playground, Comin' Up From Behind
Electric Light Orchestra, Mr. Blue Sky
Rhett Miller, Things That Dissapear
Bob Schneider, I'm Good Now and Come With Me Tonight
Marvellous 3, Freak Of The Week
The Shins, Young Pilgrims, Caring Is Creepy, and A Call To Apathy

No time to say Hello, Goodbye

Today I woke up an hour later than I usually do. And then I went back to sleep.

I could have jumped out of bed, frazzled, thrown on something that was just lying around, and raced to my train. Or, I could have taken my time, showered, ironed some clean clothes, had a bagel and orange juice, and leisurely walked to the station. I'll let you guess which plan I went with.

I normally arrive here at work fifteen minutes early. Today, with the delay, I arrived ten minutes late. The lesson? I can sleep until 8:45am and still be fine (this is even with ten minutes of combing my hair so it doesn't look totally ridiculous. If I get my hair cut I'll be able to sleep for ten more minutes with the added bonus of not looking at all ridiculous).

So, faithful readers, I am passing this lesson on to you: Sleep in. Be late. Be like John.

Right, I haven't mentioned John before. John and I met in high school. We played hockey together. We would drive each other to or from school. Actually, my mom would usually drive us from school. I would usually get to school on my own. John only drove me to school when my alarm didn't go off, the shower broke, my brothers threw all my clothes in the backyard the night before while it was raining, and my breakfast cereal spontaneously combusted. When I was going to be late anyway, when it was go now, or don't go at all.

John was never on time. They made you stay after school to make up the time you'd missed - He was a regular in detention. I'd call his house at 8:30, he'd just be starting breakfast, sure he'd pick me up on his way to school, no problem. We'd arrive near nine o'clock (ish). I know this because I always wore a watch (not so much because being on time was important to me, it was a little, but more because I always liked to know what time it was at exactly the time it was). I would not have known if I didn't have my watch. Because John purposely mis-set the clock on his car radio. I don't mean "set it ten minutes ahead so you'll always be on time" or "forget about daily savings, just add an hour" I mean miss-set. I couldn't even do the math, something like add four horus, subtract seventeen minutes, or maybe subtract an hour add thirty-one minutes, or add one day, eleven hours, and eight minutes. It was nuts.

Why? Because John didn't believe in time. He explained it like this: "I don't let time rule my life. Things happen when they happen." Pretty simple. It's the reason I don't wear a watch now. It's the reason I took my time this morning. It's a good philsophy.

-Tom
recommended downloads:
The Old 97's, Cryin' Drunk
and
The Red Hot Chili Peppers, On Mercury

Post No Bills

Not much of a post today. I'm learning a new fund. It's not especially difficult, but it is especially time consuming. It's just what I need.

Also, today I was feeling a bit down. Not a lot, and not for long, but a bit down. So I decided to walk over to the nearby sporting goods store and look at baseball gloves, because, why not get a new one, right? Anyway, there were one or two I might have given some serious consideration, and only $50. When I came back to work I mentioned it to my manager who then mentioned that my senior manager had played college ball, he'd caught for four years. And you'll never guess where. The same school my brother goes to. Small world.

So anyway, I might buy a baseball glove. I'm looking at a Rawlings infielder's glove. But the Nike's aren't too bad either... I will, of course, keep you posted.

-Tom
recommended downloads:
Our Lady Peace, Neon Crossing
Ben Kweller, Wasted And Ready

So, read any good books lately?

It's raining hard here in Boston. The first Nor'easter I can remember in a while. I love weather (as I mentioned in the previous post).

So good morning, readers. I hope the rain did not adversely affect your commute, your morning errands, or your generally sunny outlook on life here on the planet earth. I've been listening to some music lately and I'm going to recommend some songs later, but I'm checking in first. What's up with you? How's the week been so far? Any big doings coming your way soon? Any birthdays out there this week? Have you read any good books lately? Seen any good movies?

I have. And I hope to see more. Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith was great. I'll need to see it two or three more times before I start to look at it as a real movie. I'm looking forward to seeing these movies too: Batman Begins, Lords of Dogtown, The Fantastic Four, Spiderman 3, Xmen 3, Kindgom of Heaven, and Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Batman looks very good. Excellent bad guys, good casting, a fresh take on the legend.
The rest of the comic book movies will be great, all following the "summer blockbuster" formula.
Hitchiker I've heard good things about, like it follows the spirit of the books very closely, if not the detail.
Dogtown will be very good, an adaptation of the true life events that produced skateboarding as we know it today. Based on the documentary Dogtown and Z-Boys. Which I've seen. And it was great. (also great but for different reasons is Ultimate X, a 45 minute documentary on ESPN's X-games for the tenth anniversary.)
and I heard a good review of Kingdom of Heaven, (directed by Ridley Scott - which is why I was thinking about going in the first place) saying if you liked Galdiator you'll probably like this one. Even though it stars an elf.

-tom

recommended downloads:
Lucky Boys Confusion, Mr Wilmington
The Clash, Just Like Heaven
The Old 97's, Timebomb
Dave Matthews Band, Say Goodbye (Live)
Black Eyed Peas (feat. Justin Timberlake), Where Is The Love?

also, I don't find it at all disconcerting that I'm mentioning both JT and Orlando in the same post, or that I'm making special mention of it in a post script. not at all disconcerting. -tom out.

Let it rain on me.

I've said before, and I stand by it, that I am a fan of all types of weather. "There is no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather." (Benedict)

But.

There is no reason for it to continue to be this cold near the end of May. Rain I understand, though it's a month late (april showers...). Cold though. Again, it's not that I dislike the cold. It's that there are many things that normally occur in the spring that can't happen if it's cold out. Things that are supposed to happen in warm spring weather. You know what I'm talking about: picnics, baseball games, cookouts, and so on. So, mother nature, let's get it moving, k?

Thanks,
-Tom

recommended download: The Old 97's, Big Brown Eyes

I've seen it, you can talk to me now

and of course I loved it.

She did it AGAIN!

Listen lady, wait your f-ing turn!

We have security doors. Revolving security doors. You swipe your card. You step into the door. The door AUTOMATICALLY turns one-quarter turn and you exit the other side.
If people want to enter from the other side as folks are exiting you take turns. One exits, then one enters, then one exits, and so on.

You may recall the slight problem I had with the revolving security doors earlier.

Today, leaving the building for lunch I was waiting my turn. One guy left. One guy came in. I started to leave. AND THE SAME LADY STEPS INTO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR! Of course, she didn't swipe her ID, she aparently has NO IDEA HOW THESE DOORS WORK despite having used them EVERYDAY SHE'S COME TO WORK FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS.

Today she's coming back from lunch. She has a small pizza box in her hands. As she starts to step into the door it starts its turn to let me out. Surprised (idiot), she jumps back. SHE DOES NOT PULL THE PIZZA BOX OUT OF THE WAY. The door rotates into the pizza box. One eighth of a turn. AND STOPS. I am now trapped. In the door. Again. The lady looks at me. I push the door through its turn. The lady laughs. Ridiculously.

WAIT YOUR F-ING TURN LADY.

This is why I should have a cattle prod to zap stupid people with. Honestly.
-Tom

recommended download:
Oasis, Force of Nature, Step Out
and
Counting Crows, A Murder Of One (Live), and Have You Seen Me Lately?

Piranha

So I didn't go overboard. I kept the count down. Three drinks. One appetizer. Unexpectedly the boss put it all on the company card. That was nice.

I would have left early. But Anastasia asked me to stick around so we could take the same train back (we get off at the same stop). So I stuck around.

The bar was full. Full of Navy and Marines. We had a great conversation with a young Marine who was, I'm estimating, three feet shorter than I am. There should be a height requirement to join the Marines. It should be " at least taller than a barstool." But he was a funny kid. So it's all good.

Coworkers in at a table near us were playing rock-paper-scissors for money. Double-or-nothing Adam lost $40.

Anastasia and her roommate Cleo (both four-foot high Vietnamese girls) were making eyes at me all night and invited me out with them tomorrow night. Apparently all they need is half a Sea Breeze or Sex on the Beach to get to "friendly." They seemed to have less fun on the train ride home while sobering up.

Also, semi-unrelated, I've been getting really excited for the Nintendo Revolution. If you have now, or have ever, had any interest in video games (especially Nintendo video games I mean you Adina since you probably won't check it out without a personal invitation so consider this yours) check it out. New games, and downloading old school games: brilliant.

So I had a pretty good time,
Tom

recommended download: Morcheeba, Ambiant Lounge

DON'T MENTION IT!

Ok, this is the most dangerous time. The movie has opened, I haven't seen it yet. This is when spoilers ruin the movie. PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!

Please be especially careful because I hear it's good. I hear it's real good. And if you want to tell me how good it is, that is fine, in fact, I welcome it. BUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not reveal any details or plot devices or facts or anything remotely associated with the movie. I SWEAR I AM GOING TO SEE IT SOON. And then I'll be talking non-stop about it, and we can rave/rant/discuss. BUT DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING YET!

thanks, I'm glad we're friends

-tom

recommended download: Weezer, This is such a pity
and Morcheeba, The Sea, Aqualung, and Trigger Hippy

Threats and promises

To start, the promise: My manager yesterday said he would order me a name plate. Super. First, nameplates are a sign that I am a real member of the group, that they've accepted me, that they don't have any plans in the immediate future to fire me. Second, nameplates suck, because that's how everyone else on the floor finds you. Wander around looking for the guy who works on your fund because you have a situation he needs to deal with, him having a nameplate makes it much easier for you to say "here, it's your problem."

To finish, the threat: Today a friend of mine received an email. It is only a matter of time before this email is sent to everybody, including yours truly. The email bans Instant Messaging in all forms and reminds employees of the stringent personal-use-of-internet "guidelines" (like "NO BLOGS!!!), and I quote "Any unauthorized use of Instant Messenger Services during business hours will be considered a violation of the aforementioned policies and will be subject to appropriate disciplinary action." I, of course, have no intention of giving up either AIM or the blog.

So maybe ordering the nameplate was a bit premature? ;)

-Tom
recommended: Weezer, Keep Fishin' and In The Garage

Trent's Last Day

Friday is Trent's last day. This means Thursday the group is sending him off in style, that is, everyone is going out to get drunk. Friday is also the last day for some other guy on the floor that I've never met or worked with. It happens that his send-off is happening at the same bar.

So, when I first heard the plan I thought to myself, "I don't think I'll get super drunk." The last few times I've been out with the work gang I have maybe gotten myself into a little trouble, or narrowly avoided trouble, this time I wanted to avoid narrowly avoiding trouble and really try to widely avoid trouble.

That was Monday, however, today I am reconsidering. Why not get drunk? I like drinking alcohol. I like having fun. I can conceivably do both of those things simultaneously.

This change, going from a sober-ish plan on Monday to a get-drunk-and-foolish-ish plan on Wednesday, has got me thinking.

Maybe I've got a problem.

-tom

also, you haven't heard of Trent before because I use pseudonyms profusely. I was tempted half way through this post to start referring to him as "Chet."

I recommend Weezer, Peace and Oasis, Lyla

Better than me

Do you ever get the feeling that you're better somplaces than others? It's true. It's a real thing that really happens. I know people. I know people. This happens to them.

These people that I know say things like "I'm better on the phone." Or, sometimes, they say the opposite of that, "I'm not good on the phone." implying, (obviously), that they are better in person, not on the phone.

I bring it up because, lately, I'm begining to feel like I'm better online. That's right. Here, and also on AIM. Better online than in person, and most certainly better online than on the phone (not that I use the phone overmuch, and usually not in situations where I would need to be good at it). The point is this:

I have always held that I am an excellent communicator, but now I am begining to believe that my typed-out kind of communications are more me than my spoken communications. Get it? Is this making sense? I'm more me online than in person.

Which is totally ok with me. I may get worried later, you know, if this continues, but for right now, I'm not worried, because the extent that I'm not the me I am online in person is not great. I am me in person to a lesser extent than I am me online, but not greatly so. (I used lesser and greatly in that last sentence. I write phenomenally well.)

Causes? I believe this phenomenon, or rather, this manifestation of the no-doubt worldwide phenomenon, to be the result of practice. Given almost a complete seven hours a day where communication with the outside world is restricted to typeable mediums (email, AIM, blogging) I use my manual means of communication much more often than I previously had, and my vocal capabilities much less: I type more than I talk. My fingers know what I want to say through the computer faster than my mouth knows what I want to say out loud. I am tempted to perform a pseudo experiment and carry a keyboard around with me. When next I am engaging in person-to-person verbal communications I will take out the keyboard and type the conversation while simultaneously speaking the conversation (well, yes, my half of the conversation) aloud. Or out loud. Whichever you prefer. (thanks to kat and donny).

With heartfelt concern for your well-being and happiness,
Tom

I recommend American Gigolo, by Weezer

May The Force Be With You

In response to the comments on the previous post-

You know what? I don't want to be a part of your stupid club.

Besides, that would mean I would have to have spent my entire life not knowing how cool Mandalorian armor is, or that the biggest gangster on Tatooine is Jabba the Hutt. I would not have laughed at Weird Al's "The Saga Begins" or committed the lyrics to memory. I would not have spent one whole summer at the beach trying off and on to levitate rocks with the power of the Force. I would not have known exactly how funny a well-timed bleep can be.

If I'd never seen Star Wars I would know Alec Guiness as a brilliant film star, not as Obi-Wan Kenobi. I would not have understood Blink 182's "A New Hope." If I'd never seen Star Wars I wouludn't be able to tell the difference between a Mon Calamari and an Ewok.

Without Star Wars I wouldn't know lightsabers are the coolest weapons in the history of the galaxy. James Earl Jones would be Mufasa, and not the voice of the scariest being in the galaxy. If I hadn't seen Star Wars I would not believe in magic, in hope, in honor, and justice, and rooting for the underdog.

This is a post about everything that is good about Star Wars. So Adina and Kelly, you can shove your little club. I'm in a better club. I'm a fan. Sam, I'm with you. Opening weekend. For good or for bad. Even if it's a bust I'll still love it.

-Tom

recommended download:
Star Wars - Jedi Master (Techno Remix)

It's all in my head

I didn't want to go see Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith. Episode II was such a disappointment that I foreswore Episode III. I just can't have my hopes dashed again.

So my plan was this: Pay no attention to media hype, commercials aired on television, billboards, internet ads, and especially, especially, reviews. Since it's a Star Wars film, and the last Star Wars film, and not just any summer blockbuster the media campaign is further exaggerated.

But I was doing so well! I'm not even sure when the movie opens. AND THEN (gah!) I glanced at a headline today on the T. Rats. The headline read something like "Anakin turns to the dark side as director (finally) finds the light"

DAMNIT. Now it's in my head! I've been dreading, dreading, the next attempt by George Lucas to destroy this universe he created. Now, doubt has crept in. What if he has turned it around. What if this is a good movie?! ARGH. NOW I'M GETTING MY HOPES UP!

This can only end in disaster.
-tom

Dammit

I was all excited to have next Monday, Memorial Day, off.

But, Memorial day is not next Monday, it's the Monday after next. Which means I'll have to suffer through two more whole weeks before one fractional week. Instead of just suffering one whole week. Also it means that the three-day memorial day wiffleball tournament and cookout slash get drunk party is a whole week further away than I thought.

Shouldn't every monday be a holiday?
-tom

recommended download: Weezer, Only In Dreams

So this I'm pretty sure is illegal

Clarence has just arrived, and he has brought with him the unmistakeable odor of marijuana smoke.

I'm pretty sure this is a controlled substance. I'm pretty sure it's illegal to use it. I'm almost positive it's illegal to work on a mutual fund if you've been smoking it. (Actually I'm pretty sure it's illegal to work on a mutual fund if you've ever been convicted of doing anything else that was illegal). Anyway, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to come to work high. In any case I'm going to start keeping an eye on my post-its, stapler, and any other bite-size office supplies.



Mind you, I'm not saying this job would be difficult to do high. This job might not even be difficult to do comatose. I'm just saying I'm pretty sure it's illegal. I am also saying, that it is unpleasant to do anything directly beneath a funky smelling cloud of marijuana smoke and axe body spray cover up.

Don't do drugs.
-Tom

recommended download
Weezer, We Are All On Drugs

Weezer, reloaded

The new Weezer album Make Believe is a fusion of The Green Album and Maladroit. If you took all of the good aspects of these two albums and then multiplied by 3/4's and then took all the bad parts of these two albums and multiplied by 1/4, and then added the two products together the sum would be Make Believe. It's got its own sound, and after listening to a few tracks it's difficult to switch to any other of their discs. I'm begining to like it.

-Tom
recommended download
Weezer - The Damage In Your Heart

A Princess

Who is your favorite Disney villain? Is it The evil queen in Snow White? She's got a secret lab with bones and poison and can turn herself into an old hag. Is it Scar? He mercilessly plotted the deaths of his own brother and nephew and allied himself with the hyenas. Is it Ursula? She's got tentacles, magic powers, and an excellent singing voice. Is it Cruella? She wanted to make coats - coats! - out of innocent puppies, and she's got a bitchin' car.

'Fess up. Who's your favorite? Mine's Maleficent. Come on, she's evil, she can teleport, she's got a castle full of warped knee-high soldier creatures, that awesome headdress, and she turns into a dragon. A dragon.

-tom
recommended download:
Matt Nathanson, Princess

Weezer, 5.1

I was thinking three very different things about this new Weezer album. I'm going to splice them all together so that the review will lack coherence, which can be viewed symbolically as my continued confusion with the Weezer catalogue.

Weezer, it has been said, reached their artistic pinnacle with Pinkerton. I tend to believe this, for the most part because I didn't like Pinkerton when I first heard it. This has, for a while, been my measuring stick: If my initial impression of the weezer song/album is unfavorable I have tended to liking the song/album a lot upon further listening; if I liked it right off the bat I grew weary and loathsome of it. For example, I did not like El Scorcho when I first heard it, and now am of the opinion that it is one of the greatest weezer songs in the world. Also, Island In The Sun, easy to listen to fun poppy rock, I hate hate hate. And this is the problem with the new album. I like it (which means I won't) and I don't like it (which means I might). I won't know for sure for another two months when I'll either catch myself humming a melody and realize it's from that weezer cd I bought two months ago, or, I'll hear a single on the radio and feel the need to break it with the nearest heavy object preferably a sledgehammer (which are, handily, almost always nearby).
See, here's the thing: Weezer has done, with at least three of these new tracks, exactly what Blink 182 did with Takeoff Your Pants and Jacket (which, I hope you are never subjected to ever). They borrowed opening riffs, they borrowed melodies, they borrowed rhythms and then tweaked them a little bit. The result is a disc that sounds very similar to earlier work. Which, let's be honest, is a total cop out. In the case of Blink 182, nearly 100% of the cd sucked. In Weezer's case...maybe not. See, there are two or three opening riffs that hark back to The Green Album and Maladroit, but the rest seem...original, but not necessarily good.
They've departed from their earlier artistic brilliance. That's not to say it's not a good cd to have in your collection, because, well it might be, but it's no Pinkerton. Which brings me to another point. Leave these guys alone! Shouldn't we be celebrating that musical masterpiece instead of ripping apart any further effort this group turns out as not being up to snuff? Yes, Pinkerton was brilliant, and maybe that's the sum total of all Weezer's brilliance, maybe they used it all up on the first two albums. So be it. If this is true, don't buy anything else by them ever, don't get The Green Album, don't get Maladroit, and don't get Make Believe. On the other hand, if you're a Weezer fan, even a little bit, then go for it. By far the album I hate the most is The Green Album, it lacks lyrical depth, it lacks powerful music, and it lacks distortion, which I love. And that's one of my problems with Make Believe, lyrically it's more like Green than anything else, but musically it's more like Maladroit. Cheesey lyrics, heavy guitars, this might be a great show to see live, but maybe it doesn't stack up with what we've come to expect from weezer (which, as I mentioned before, may only be a freak thing...maybe this is what we should expect from them and Pinkerton was just a fluke)
Finally I have a theory. Look at the covers of the first four albums. Weezer, Pinkerton, Weezer (The Green Album), Maladroit. Notice that we colloquially call the third disc "the green album" because it's green, but really the only thing on the cover is the band's name: "weezer" just like, just like the first self-titled cd. Maybe this is a separate run for this group. Maybe the first two were like, Hey, here's this group of wonderful songs that you will love forever, and maybe then they decided that hey, we can't keep this up, let's start again, but this time, with two minutes and thirty seconds of radio-friendly power pop at a time. So that's why the green album should maybe be called "weezer" like it's the launch of a new band. And, if we're looking at it like that, then this new band has three albums, the first one sucks, the second one's ok, and the third one sucks a little but isn't as bad as the first one.

But I'm a fan. I'm listening to Make Believe these days, and whether I'll like it or not in a few weeks remains to be heard. So, to all you out there giving this band crap because nothing has approached the heights of Pinkerton lay the hell off of them. How would you feel if your creative masterpiece was finished when you were eighteen and now you can't even draw a smiley face without catching heat, because now people won't shut up about that masterpiece, hmm? I have no idea how you'd feel. The point is, compare this album to Maladroit, not Pinkerton. That's like comparing The Matrix Revolutions to The Matrix. Of course it's not going to stand up, it was terrible. But, if you compare it to The Matrix Reloaded, well, at least it's palatable. (Maybe that's a bad parallel, The Matrix Revolutions sucked. Make Believe, maybe not).


to summarize: I don't know how I feel about this new Weezer cd. I do know that I hate the opinion that Pinkerton is the be-all-end-all of music. I also know that I loved The Matrix Reloaded.

-tom
recommended download:
Weezer, In The Garage, and Only In Dreams

make believe

stay tuned for a review of weezer's new album make believe
-t

Birthday Citation

An exercise from today's career development class: Birthday Citation - This exercise is projective in nature. Imagine that five to ten years from now you are having a birthday party celebration and someone has contacted you about a citation that wil appear in your local newspaper. Write a paragrpah or two that captures what you would like said about you at that time. Areas that you might chooose to include are your work (pace, setting, location, dress, compensation), hobbies, personal life (school, family friends, organizations, community involvement), civic activities, etc. - all of these are suggestive, certainly not mandated. Please include only those things that would make you proud and your birthday party a big success!

Date: 7/24/2016

LOCAL VISIONARY CELEBRATES 34TH

Today the founder of the Greater Boston Progressive Theater celebrates his 34th birthday, and we here at the Tribune wish him all the best. You may know him better as the leader of the "Renegade Republicans" the forward-thinking group of Massachusetts Senators who seem to have single-mindedly transformed the politics of the Commonwealth over the last six years, redefining community service, introducing tough crime bills, reinvigorating down-and-out school districts, and, most recently, getting one of their own elected to the govenor's office. It's hard to believe the wily political mind behind what could be considered a lifetime of achievement on the hill is an all-star center fielder for his district's softball league, and can be found more often playing Tiger Woods PGA Tour on his Xbox, than out on the links like some of his more infamous Beacon Hill colleagues.
You may recall the first victory on the road to success, the stirring defense of "Tax-achusetts" income law onm the steps of the State House by a still wet-behind-the-ears accountant. The speech made local news, but his victory in the following Senate campaign was reported on the national stage, the near-unanimous (99.3% of the vote) landslide against the seemingly popular incumbent. Well, that may be the answer you expect from him when asked about his biggest win, but he tells it different. This interviewer even noticed a mischevious glint in his eye as he turned to his wife of eight years and gave her hand a squeeze. "This is the biggest victory I'll ever have, winning her hand in marriage." Almost a decade and two children later he says he is just as happy as on their wedding day, and she offers no objections. He then mentions quietly five-year old David is already ten-for-ten three games into the T-ball season, and Margaret, now three, is getting some good movement on her curveball.
The family will be celebrating with friends and cousins for much of today with a barbecue at Devir Park. Our favorite once-accountant-turned-govenor-in-the-wings will be setting out with his climbing team for the Swiss Alps at the end of the month.

-Jay Petton is a contributing writer for the Tribune

Career Counselling

This morning I am at a seminar for career counselling. MY manager signed me up a while ago. It's two hours long, in quincy, which is an extra fifteen minutes on the train, and probably will not be very valuable to me. I'm an entry level employee at a massive financial institution, what's your advice? "Don't fuck up - and get a haircut." Thanks. We all know "Suck up to your boss and blame your mistakes on somebody else" isn't going to be a bullet point on the slide show.

Corporate America can shove it.

-tom

faux pas

I may not be using that title correctly (also I may not have spelled that title correctly) I don't know much french. Here's the situation:

I just spilled coffee on my (hyper)manager's suit jacket.
Which he is wearing tonight.
To a wake.
Is this maybe the worst/funniest-in-a-bad-way-if-you're-me/funny-in-a-I-feel-awful-for-laughing-about-this-way-if-you're-not-me thing that could have happened? You know, actually, maybe I wouldn't feel bad laughing about this if it didn't happen to me, cross that last slash-thingy off. The story: Coffee. On the wake suit. - My bad.

Ok, actually, just kidding. I didn't spill anything on his suit. What did happen was this:
I leaned over his cubicle wall, with a pen, a pen, in my hand. The pen happened to be directly over his suit jacket, which he had hanging on that wall of the cubicle, and I suddenly thought "if this pen were leaking or one of those pens that is prone to explode and it did so right now and ink got on his jacket that would be bad." And immediately after thinking that I remembered why he had the jacket in the first place, which is the wake, and thought "that would make it doubly bad." Which made me think of the coffee scenario you read about earlier. And how bad that would be.


And, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm probably going accidentally spill something on his suit jacket while concentrating on not doing exactly that.

-tom
recommended download:
Weezer, Surf Wax America and Jamie and Susanne

Nine

So, Ralph is on vacation this week, all week. I took over one of his smaller funds while he's away. However, Ben and Lawrence are also out today, both have called in sick. It seems orchestrated - but that's neither here nor there. I am covering one of Ben's funds and one of Lawrence's funds. This brings my total to nine. Just like the good old days, like back when I started this blog - well, then I had eight, but close enough, right? - and it's a pretty good spread. For easy funds, I've got three tax-frees: they pretty much just sit there, sometimes they'll go haywire, but usually nearer the begining of the month. Two taxables: they just sit there and roll income over to tomorrow, not usually any trades, not usually any issues. Then, I've got (1) The Ireland fund: not bad, but different from all the rest, and requires more work; (2) the Government Yield fund, which isn't usually bad but has a tendecy to go haywire much more often than the tax-frees; (3) the Trust fund, which is big, and trades late, and the trade guy is having some family issues, or dealing with gambling debts, or maybe is considering major reconstructive plastic surgery, or something, whatever it is it's certainly keeping his mind off the fund lately and errors are increasing; and (4) The tax-free-but-I-want-to-be-a-taxable-so-bad-I-can-taste-it fund, which should be an easy tax-free like all the others, but, unlike tax-frees and much more like taxables it trades often, trades late, often trades late, and is gigantic, and whenever a fund is this gigantic the number of errors increases dramatically.

So I'm pretty excited for today's workload.

-Tom
recommended download:
Dispatch, Bulletholes
Cake, Commissioning a Symphony in C
Weezer, El Scorcho, Buddy Holly
and
Weezer, Love Explosion

how stupid is it, I can't talk about it, I've gotta sing about it, and
make a record oh/
how stupid is it, for all I know you want me to, and mabye you just
don't know what to do/
and maybe you're scared to say, I'm fallin' for you

Don't Let Go

la la la, la lala la la, la la la la la, new weezer cd, la, la lala la la la

and The Life Aquatic and Rushmore arrived from amazon today. sweet.

-tom
recommended download:
Weezer: Photograph, and Don't Let Go

ok these are good shows

these are some good shows:
deadliest catch, the shield, west wing, and rescue me.
catch one, if you get a chance

-tom

ps, weezer's new album, dun dun dun!

Baby on board

I feel sick to my stomach. That burrito is having a fist-fight with the cocoa puffs I had for breakfast...like a matrix, neo-agent smith final battle fist fight. You know that part where they're beating the hell out of each other and the force of their simultaneous punch expands and pushes the rain out in a gigantic shock wave? yeah, that's the queso and the cocoa in my stomach right now. bleh.

I'll recover in a bit though, I hope.
also, Adina, is it any wonder this post reminded me of you? I don't think so.

post-lunch,
-tom

recommended download:
The Simpsons, Baby On Board


ps. I love the Matrix.

By-products

Well, no, not by-products, "buy products." This is a message for all you consumers out there.
See, right here (I'm pointing to the upper right hand corner of the page), right there above my profile? (I'm indicating the "web gear" link) That's a new link. So all you out there with some discretionary income, spend some if it at the a20261 store! It'll be great. You'll look cool, I'll be popular.

Be My Billboard!

love,
tom

recommended download:
Marcy Playground, Punk Rock Superstar

Missed Connections

So, craigslist.com. It's a nice place. Get a couch, or a pool table, find a roommate, etc. They've also got a section called "missed connections." You can leave a message to that girl you saw on the train and meant to talk to, or someone you saw on your way to the bank...This is a direct quote "you were wearing an olive workshirt, standing in line for a computer.. i noticed you because of your textbook: you use post-its like crazy, just like me!" You leave your email address, you hope for the other person to be checking these things and respond. When I first found this I thought it was hilarious I mean really I was laughing like crazy at some of these posts, this one, for example.

But there are so many of them. Like, so many. Got me to thinking: there must be lots of lonely people out there. Poor folks. After you eliminate the pranks, psychos, and veterans of the site there are still a lot of missed connections. I found it a little sad.

I said, "Martha its not some kind of contest
that says in the end, if you love someone the most
you will get to keep them"
she says, "maybe it should be.

So, missed connections, don't wait around. Seize the day, don't save it for craigslist.

-tom
recommended downloads:
Pearl Jam, Alone
and
Brian Webb, Martha

ah, supersaver shipping, the bane of my existence

That's pretty nice, isn't it? Look at that again. "bane of my existence" ok, now read the first part "supersaver shipping." Damn, that's nice. This is the world I live in. My biggest problem is waiting for the mail. or Fedex, or UPS, or whoever amazon.com has delivering these days. That's the worst thing. This is either (a) because I have chosen to surround myself with comforts and take the easy path at any and all turns, or (b) because I choose to ignore things that qualify as actual hardships, and I would identify some examples for you now, but I can't because if they exist I'm ignoring them, and so am unaware. Happiness thy name is denial, and I love thee.

-tom
recommended downloads
Cowboy Mouth, Easy

Boycott Monday

That's today's theme. Boycott Monday.
I'm bored. I'm just sitting here, waiting for rates to come in. Bored. But what else is new.
I don't have much to write about, so I'm just typing here, really only attempting to make sure words are spelled correctly and make good grammatical sense. I'm not too worried about coherent thought, as it is my belief that if you are still reading you must be just as bored, or in need of a distraction as I am while I'm typing. If you were looking for coherence, quality, or imagination you'd be reading the freep or something. Well, maybe not if you wanted imagination, I could probably cover that. My imagination works all the time. I spent an entire afternoon thinking about turning office supplies into toys for kids. They'd be military toys, based on a line that I used to play with back when I was like seven or something. These toys were everyday objects that transformed into missles or command stations or tanks or something, my favorite was my watch. It was about the size of my head, and it was camoflauge, and when you pressed the big red button on the side the top flipped open and there was a command station inside with little guys, and there was a propellor that you could wind and then release and it would fly like ten feet in the air straight up. It was awesome. Anyway, I spent that afternoon thinking about how the stapler might open up to reveal a groun-to-air missle and how the phone would undoubtedly be a tank, and that the keyboard would probably turn into some sort of airplane. But here I am, off on a tangent, I meant to talk about how my often working imagination was working, as if often does, last night as I was trying to get to sleep, and came up with a synopsis for an episode of futurama the details of which I will not reveal because I don't want you stealing my idea and making tons of money after submitting it to fox and then beign hired as a writer for one of their shows. I'd much rather it be me hired to write for futurama or the simpsons, and man you can bet I'd do my damdest to revamp that show. Here I am, off on another tangent, I'll try to stick to the point, which as far as I can remember, I can't remember. Which is another problem. Hey, I know my memory isn't the greatest thing ever, I've written about that every now and again, or maybe just once I can't recall, and sometimes I even celebrate my poor memory. But there was a time, once, when my memory was up to snuff, cut the mustard, etc. And that was back in school. Out here, in the real world, I don't have anything I need to remember. Nothing. Not that there was much I needed to remember in school either, mostly the learning I did was passive and happened unbeknownst to me. (For example, junior year of high school we had the coolest spanish teacher this side of Spain, he spent the entire year telling stories about his days in the army, his days as an international exporter, and one really really great story about flying over the rocky mountains and the turbulence that almost crashed the plane, which happened to be full of nuns. No learning of spanish at anytime. The next year, new teacher, first day she hands out a quiz. "I'm going to quiz you on the subjunctive tense, which is what you focussed on last year." While I'm thinking, "What? We didn't learn anything, I'm going to fail the first quiz of they year." But I didn't, I scored 100% on that quiz, because aparently we did learn the subjunctive tense, and I was happily unaware the whole time.) But what is there for me to remember now? Nothing. Get up, go to work, come home. I don't even have to remember to set my alarm because it does that on its own. I've never been good with dates, and now I'm worse; I haven't thought about what today's date is in something like three months. I haven't had the need. I spend my days doodling on post-it notes and scrap paper, I cruise around online and read journals, or look up song lyrics I can't remember, and promptly forget, and, when there aren't any new blog entries, any exciting links, any more pictures of big-eyed kids in new suits coming to work for the first time to draw, I write a little in my web log here, or as is today's case, I write a lot. If you've made it this far I congratulate you, and sympathize with your need for distraction. desire for action, or want of meaningful interaction.


peace out dudes
-tom

recommended downloads-
Don Hertzfeldt animations: Billy's Balloon, Rejected, and, L'Amour

The Gang's All Here

A while back, just before high school maybe, when I thought I'd established my musical taste, when I felt pretty comfortable with the genre I'd chosen and didn't expect to add too many more artists to my collection I realized I'd pigeon holed myself. I did not have one female musician in my entire collection of music. Let us disregard that, at the time, I had settled on "alternative rock" and was only willing to listen to ten bands (nine of which played on wbcn boston - highlights include nirvana and godsmack). Let us also disregard my lack of exposure (my experience, to that point, was wbcn and the disney sing-alongs my toddler siblings loved so much). The point is: no female artists.

Then my cousin gave me all her old cassettes. A whole basket full of them. After pawing through such old, and clearly out-of-date groups The Police, Genesis, AC/DC, Guns n Roses, and Aerosmith I found a few gems, like The Offspring, Pearl Jam, Dave Matthews Band, and, Alanis Morissette. Lo and behold, a female rock star. Adding a second gender to my collection was not the goal, I just wanted some good music, and "Jagged Little Pill" was it.

Young and stupid. That was me. I'd based my "taste" not on the quality of the music but on the parameters the music was defined by: was it grunge? was it new? was the band "cool?" I was wrong.

A little older, and probaby just as stupid. That's me now. Except for that small realization that opened the world of music to me (well, that one realization and a girlfriend I had in college, she helped a lot too). And now I'll give anything a try. Sure, I'm settling into a pattern, slowly drifting into "classic rock" (like queen, like the who, like that's right, AC/DC) but no longer to the exclusion of other genres or artists. Thank goodness for that.

Oh, the reason I bring it up is because, now, I still don't have many female artists in my collection. Alanis, Sarah Harmer, Ani DiFranco, and that might be it. Just something I was thinking about.

-Tom

recommended downloads:
Alanis Morissette, One Hand In My Pocket
and
Oasis, Hey Hey, My My (Neil Young cover)

burn7

burn7
Originally uploaded by a20261.

Dear faithful readers. This is a picture of me. Note the sunburn. This photo was taken approximately eleven months ago, after the first day at the beach. Long sleeves, hat, sunblock (spf 45, used early, used often), and still, every exposed inch of skin was burnt. It's how I operate.

happy summer everybody. :)

-tom
recommended download
Fountains of Wayne, It Must Be Summer

Playlist

friday night, shuffle


The Stone, dave matthews band
Redundant, green day
Yoshimi vs. the Pink Robots, the flaming lips
Grey Street, dave matthews band
Ol' Time Pigeon Farm, marcy playground
A Quick Peep, oasis
Machine Head, bush
Privelege, incubus
Concede (Live), sister hazel
Universal Soldier, phil ochs
Falling For You, weezer
Hotter Than The Sun, marcy playground
Barfly, marcy playground

-tom

Season Four

We're now watching West Wing season four on dvd. This will occupy my nights, probably through the weekend. The West Wing is a great show, and if you don't know and love it, you should, and I would be happy to let you come over and watch it on dvd (starting with season one, of course), just let me know when you'd like to visit.

Also, if I've planned it right, or if the stars align, or fate agrees, or whatever determines things like this, we will have finished season four just as my new dvds arrives in the mail (Rushmore, and The Life Aquatic) which we can then watch, either consecutively or on consecutive nights.

Speaking of nights I at first typed "knights" which reminded me of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, which I haven't seen in a while, so I'll probably be watching that very soon too, now that I've reminded myself.

And my cousin is letting me borrow Gran Turismo for xbox so I'm pretty excited, I hear it's a sweet game. In other game news I still (still) haven't beaten Tony Hawk's Underground on the hardest difficulty because I can't get past the stupid "hangover cure" goal in the Moscow level (that's Moscow, Russia, not Moscow, PA). This is very similar to that time, in second grade when I got my Nintendo (NES) and would wake up half an hour earlier than I had to on school days so I could play Mario Bros. and how I was never ever able to beat the game because however good I was, and however many secrets I memorized I could never ever ever get past 8-3. It wasn't until freshman year of college, when I brough my NES back to the dorm with me after christmas break that I finally got past that level and then beat 8-4 on the first try (seriously, that level's a cake-walk). Also, I was so overjoyed that I'd finally finally finally (we're talking about overcoming a decade of not beating the game) that I then set out to beat my own speed record. I think I eventually plateaued at fifteen minutes from 1-1 to 8-4. The water world was always one of my favorites...or any that took place underground. Hopefully I won't have to wait ten years to beat this Moscow goal. Because once I win, then I've given myself permission to purchase Tony Hawk's Underground 2. And won't that be sweet. (it will be)

until then, this is tom, signing off.

recommended downloads:
Queen: Fat Bottomed Girls, Bohemian Rhapsody, It's Late, and Get Down, Make Love

what's a guy to do?

I can't stand it. Yes, it should have been over months ago, and, for all other involved parties, it probably was. I'm the only one still thinking about this, but really, I can't help it, she's just so gorgeous. Stupid pretty girls. All of you pretty girls out there: stop it. Stop being so maddeningly pretty. It's driving us guys (in general) and me (in particular) crazy. This is not a good way to operate. (On the other hand, I do love the seemingly permanent yet most delicate high I'm on) (also, I just used two adverbs ending in "ingly" which is awesome).

Anyway. She. Looks. Gorgeous today. I can't stand it. We don't exchange more than ten words a week, usually the same three words repeated: "how's it going?" "ok." That's it. But I'll take whatever she gives me. (really, what else would I do, get over it? move on? you obviously don't know me that well ;)

**************************************************
And in other BIG NEWS: Cute girl update.
You may recall that I'd given up on cg after learning she is engaged to be married. However, however, today cg asked me for help. I'm going to repeat that again in bold. She asked me for help! Go me!

See, everybody's archiving. And I know a little bit about that, since they sent me to that stupid class. And cg is archiving and said "can you help me later this afternoon with archiving?" and I, of course, said yes (while simultaneously trying not to jump up and down for joy). Because, readers, even if this is not the begining of a beautiful relationship, it could, (as I hope) be the begining of a wonderful friendship. BAM!

To sum up: I am happy today. I have boxed the last of my funds, I have budgetted one of my budgets, and though the funds today are troublesome, nothing can get me down. She knows who I am and asked me for help. Sweet.

-Tom
recommended download
Prince, Starfish and Coffee
Matt Nathanson, Starfish and Coffee (Prince cover)
BAM!

The budget schedules are in!

Alright. Wow. I've been waiting all month for this: The budget schedule is here. My manager just came over to give me the good news. This month we only have (total) twelve budgets due (last month it was about thirty). The bad news is that my two budgets are due Friday. That's this friday, only two days away.

I'm not worried though, they look like small funds, and I am getting better and better at these budgets. Oh, but we also have to keep archiving. We boxed up so much stuff last week we had to order a new batch of boxes. So that's another project that will "keep me busy." Right.

happy budget cycle
-Tom

recommended download
Matt Nathanson, Wings
and
Bob Schneider, Big Blue Sea

do not name your baby girl riley

There is a posterboard on the other side of the office. Today on it was written

Congratulations Jenn!
Jenn had a baby girl, Riley Elizabeth

I do not know why the message is directed at Jenn, I believe if she did just have the baby she'd be resting in the hospital instead of rushing back to work to check the posterboard. I don't know Jenn. I don't know where she sits, I don't think I've ever met her, I didn't know she was pregnant, or even that her due date was approaching. Had I known I no doubt would have wished her a safe and healthy delivery, etc etc etc. Now however, one fact is blotting out all others: She's named her baby girl Riley. Riley is not a girl's name. It's hardly a boy's name. It is a last name. A surname.

John I expect you to leave that link to that hilarious baby name site in the comments.

Do not name your baby girl Riley.

-Tom
recommended download
Johnny Cash, Boy Named Sue

me learn good

They (they, the managers, senior managers, assistant vice presidents, vice presidents, and so on) here at this place that I work at have encouraged us to complete online tutorials outlining our standard operating procedures. Once all their employees have completed the course they can claim "All employees are familiar with and practice our SOPs." or whatever sentence in their annual statement of goals has prompted this policy. They have hired some online tutorial firm to develop, design, implement a web-based program that will kindly lead all us non-managerial sheep through our "sop's" Good for them.

These tutorials are inane. Structured like a human resources powerpoint presentation information (usually non-pertinent) floats, bobs, weaves, and slides its way across the page and settles in its place with a cute wobble, followed by stock .gifs of accountants having cheery discussions with their managers. The managers and suck up accountants then seem to listen closely, full of enjoyment to the SOUNDTRACK of the stupid web-based power-crap presentation. THERE IS NO REASON FOR MUSIC. Each page uses about five seconds of "animation" there are approximately seven pages to each presentation, there are 25 presentations to get through. This takes some time.

It's not that I don't want to learn all about our standard ops. but I will learn much quicker if I were presented with a word document outlining the salient facts. No animation, no pretty colors, and OMG IF YOU DO NOT MAKE THAT ELEVATOR MUSIC STOP I WILL FIND YOU AND CRUSH YOUR BRAIN

Right, sorry. I understand there may be some out there that need a cutesy little sky-blue border to sweep across their screen in order to learn. BUT EVERYBODY ELSE HATES IT.

At the end of each presentation there is a quiz. A multiple choice, check-all-that-apply, true-false quiz. You need to score 90% to pass. The numer of questions vary from four to seven. I will do the math for you: 25 points a question up to 14 points a question. If you get one wrong, you fail. AND HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE DAMN MUSIC AGAIN.

I've muted my computer. If I do have to spend an hour and a half waiting for these "cutesy" animations to finish I refuse, refuse, refuse to listen to that damn music. I've also taken to skipping the info and going right to the quiz, then randomly clicking answers. You'll never get 100% on the first try, but after about three or four you start guessing correctly. I complete the tutorials in about the same time that way, and now, I don't have to bother learning anything. I have seven more tutorials to get through. "I am familiar with our standard operating procedures."

Score another one for corporate america.

-Tom
recommended download
The Gin Blossoms, Jealousy, and I'll Follow You Down
Better Than Ezra, Roselia, and King Of New Orleans

Trade date plus one

Monday morning. Welcome back.

I was here until about eleven on friday night, then everybody went out drinking at a bar just down the block. Then I went home.
I had had big plans for saturday, but it was rainy and I didn't want to get my nice new shoes wet or muddy. So instead of going out I stayed inside and watched eight hours of gilmore girls on abc family while reading that book that I'm now reading.
After eight hours of tv we ordered pizza, then a while after that my brother and I drove in to visit my mom at the hospital and bring her pizza.
We ordered another pizza on the way home and ate it while we watched snl. It was a repeat, the one with Finesse Mitchell playing Morgan Freeman on Weekend Update "No more 'Get busy livin' or get busy dyin,' I just want to get busy."
Sunday I slept until one (again) and sat around and watched television (go sox) and sat around. I don't think I went outside all weekend except to pick up the pizzas. That's a pretty good weekend.
It sort of averages out, once it's not raining we'll all be outside in the yard playing wiffleball or home run derby or off the steps or run the bases or kickball or street hockey or tennis or hide and seek or something, we'll be outside for sixteen, eighteen hours at a time. So it'll all average out. Which reminds me, I should get the West Wing season four on dvd - for the next rainy weekend.

-Tom
recommended download:
Cowboy Mouth, Easy

Friday Night Light

I'll be staying late tonight to work on month-end expenses.

I'm going to need some coffee.
-Tom

Boycott Best Buy

Best Buy used to be my favorite place to purchase dvds. No more. I used to really enjoy drifting up and down the aisles slowly reading all the titles and selecting (I'll be honest) eight or nine at a time. However. Best Buy sucks. Therefore I am no longer going to do any purchasing of anything there ever again, no matter how convenient. Here's why:

I bought a digital camera (really). You may recall the nightmare of phone calls and double-crosses I had to get through to purchase my digital camera: (jog your memory). You may also recall I was compelled to buy retail at Best Buy, which was really just a continuation of that nightmare: (come again). But Now, now I see the final chapter, the culmination of what undoubtedly took years of hard work to devise and implement. Best Buy corporate must have a chapter in their business statement called "how to screw the consumer you've already screwed over at least once." Probably right after the chapter on hiring customer service representatives who could not complete the GED requirements.

I used my Best Buy credit card at the time of purchase. I accepted their offer of zero interest for six months, and planned to pay the balance within a few weeks time. I discovered very soon after making my purchase that the balance can be paid over the phone through an automated 800 number. Excellent, I appreciate automated billing, it makes things easy. Call up, punch in some numbers, the pound sign (aside: the tic-tac-toe board-looking symbol on the bottom right key of your keypad is sometimes called an octothorpe). So, I called the number.

I was informed, via automated voice girl, that I would need the invoice number, printed on my billing statement, to access the system. To that point I had not received a statement. Very well, I shall wait, after all I've got six months.

Yesterday I received my first statement. First statement. Much to my surprise I saw not only the charge for my digital camera which I covered with their stupid Best Buy credit card, but, but, also an eleven dollar late fee. WTF, my dear readers, wtf. They've charged me a late fee before sending me the first bill. Strange? Yes. Disputable? Yes. Only the begining? Yes.

Because now that I have an invoice number I can call the automated system, pay the balance (dispute the late fee) and be done with the whole affair. Well GUESS WHAT. The lovely, quick, automated system CHARGES A FEE TO PROCESS YOUR PAYMENT w. t. f. [should be read as a menacing whisper] w.t.f.

So my options are these:
1. hang up, write out a check, buy a stamp, send the check, get charged one or possibly two more unfounded late fees, call customer service (repeatedly) to dispute said late fees, and drag this on for months.

2. stay on the line, pay the balance (not the late fee, possible not the processing fee) save the fight with customer service for another day

3. pay the whole damn thing. bastards.

I chose option two. Because come on. There's no way I'm paying the late fee, because you never told me when my first payment was due. I think it's really an ingenious little scheme. Don't tell the consumer he's late until it's too late, and then charge him. Bastards.

Now the processing fee is just a whole 'nother mind game. Another ingenious scheme: Offer the consumer an easy, fast, pain-free way to pay off his enormous credit card balance, and then charge him for it. Bastards. Oh, and then confuse him.

Confuse me? Yes. Because after agreeing to the processing fee, and agreeing to leave it on my balance (to be disputed at a future date), as I exited out of the automated system the pleasant female voice kindly reminded me that there was a fee for using the system. wtf? Is that the processing fee I've already agreed to or are you naming another hidden fee, just to call up your stupid bill-pay hotline missy? Cuz that ain't happenin'. If you're saying I now have to dispute three bogus charges I may skip the phone call altogether, fly down to Best Buy HQ in Carolina to formally denounce the corporation and formally announce a boycott. Which I'm doing anyway. But if I have to fly down there I'm going to kick it into high gear. I'm talking rallies, pickets, rioting, the works. Charge me a late fee? I'll kick your ass.

-Tom
recommended download:
Barenaked Ladies , Life, In A Nutshell
and
Weezer, Don't Let Go

it's like a disease

blogger - has finally done it: interfered. and what's worse: it's getting worse.

When all this began, months ago, I was diligent, dedicated, efficient, and pure. I did my work. I double-checked. Then I blogged.
Soon after this began, less months ago, I was less diligent, semi-dedicated, efficient, and not so pure. I did my work. While I did my work I thought about blogging. Sometimes I would blog then work.
Now, now, I am at the mercy of my desire to blog. At its mercy. To bring the point into relief (unconscious acts are italicized):

This morning I made an entry on my spreadsheet. I clicked Save. I opened a window to the internet. I clicked print. I logged in to blogger.com. I began thinking about the Celtics. I began writing about the Celtics. I began browsing around online. I visited other blogs. I thought that I had forgotten something. I continued to browse the internet. I sort of think something I forgot is job-related. Maybe something to do with my...computer? I opened my email. I logged onto AIM. I perused away messages. Maybe I printed...something. Yes. Think about that. Think. I went back to the internet. AHA! The printer!! I have to go to the printer!! ...

It's become my driving force. No longer a conscious thought. This could spell trouble.

-Tom
recommended download:
Blink 182, A New Hope
Marcy Playground, Wave Motion Gun
Bob Dylan, The Times They Are A' Changing
The Who, The Seeker