May The Force Be With You

In response to the comments on the previous post-

You know what? I don't want to be a part of your stupid club.

Besides, that would mean I would have to have spent my entire life not knowing how cool Mandalorian armor is, or that the biggest gangster on Tatooine is Jabba the Hutt. I would not have laughed at Weird Al's "The Saga Begins" or committed the lyrics to memory. I would not have spent one whole summer at the beach trying off and on to levitate rocks with the power of the Force. I would not have known exactly how funny a well-timed bleep can be.

If I'd never seen Star Wars I would know Alec Guiness as a brilliant film star, not as Obi-Wan Kenobi. I would not have understood Blink 182's "A New Hope." If I'd never seen Star Wars I wouludn't be able to tell the difference between a Mon Calamari and an Ewok.

Without Star Wars I wouldn't know lightsabers are the coolest weapons in the history of the galaxy. James Earl Jones would be Mufasa, and not the voice of the scariest being in the galaxy. If I hadn't seen Star Wars I would not believe in magic, in hope, in honor, and justice, and rooting for the underdog.

This is a post about everything that is good about Star Wars. So Adina and Kelly, you can shove your little club. I'm in a better club. I'm a fan. Sam, I'm with you. Opening weekend. For good or for bad. Even if it's a bust I'll still love it.

-Tom

recommended download:
Star Wars - Jedi Master (Techno Remix)

It's all in my head

I didn't want to go see Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith. Episode II was such a disappointment that I foreswore Episode III. I just can't have my hopes dashed again.

So my plan was this: Pay no attention to media hype, commercials aired on television, billboards, internet ads, and especially, especially, reviews. Since it's a Star Wars film, and the last Star Wars film, and not just any summer blockbuster the media campaign is further exaggerated.

But I was doing so well! I'm not even sure when the movie opens. AND THEN (gah!) I glanced at a headline today on the T. Rats. The headline read something like "Anakin turns to the dark side as director (finally) finds the light"

DAMNIT. Now it's in my head! I've been dreading, dreading, the next attempt by George Lucas to destroy this universe he created. Now, doubt has crept in. What if he has turned it around. What if this is a good movie?! ARGH. NOW I'M GETTING MY HOPES UP!

This can only end in disaster.
-tom

Dammit

I was all excited to have next Monday, Memorial Day, off.

But, Memorial day is not next Monday, it's the Monday after next. Which means I'll have to suffer through two more whole weeks before one fractional week. Instead of just suffering one whole week. Also it means that the three-day memorial day wiffleball tournament and cookout slash get drunk party is a whole week further away than I thought.

Shouldn't every monday be a holiday?
-tom

recommended download: Weezer, Only In Dreams

So this I'm pretty sure is illegal

Clarence has just arrived, and he has brought with him the unmistakeable odor of marijuana smoke.

I'm pretty sure this is a controlled substance. I'm pretty sure it's illegal to use it. I'm almost positive it's illegal to work on a mutual fund if you've been smoking it. (Actually I'm pretty sure it's illegal to work on a mutual fund if you've ever been convicted of doing anything else that was illegal). Anyway, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to come to work high. In any case I'm going to start keeping an eye on my post-its, stapler, and any other bite-size office supplies.



Mind you, I'm not saying this job would be difficult to do high. This job might not even be difficult to do comatose. I'm just saying I'm pretty sure it's illegal. I am also saying, that it is unpleasant to do anything directly beneath a funky smelling cloud of marijuana smoke and axe body spray cover up.

Don't do drugs.
-Tom

recommended download
Weezer, We Are All On Drugs

Weezer, reloaded

The new Weezer album Make Believe is a fusion of The Green Album and Maladroit. If you took all of the good aspects of these two albums and then multiplied by 3/4's and then took all the bad parts of these two albums and multiplied by 1/4, and then added the two products together the sum would be Make Believe. It's got its own sound, and after listening to a few tracks it's difficult to switch to any other of their discs. I'm begining to like it.

-Tom
recommended download
Weezer - The Damage In Your Heart

A Princess

Who is your favorite Disney villain? Is it The evil queen in Snow White? She's got a secret lab with bones and poison and can turn herself into an old hag. Is it Scar? He mercilessly plotted the deaths of his own brother and nephew and allied himself with the hyenas. Is it Ursula? She's got tentacles, magic powers, and an excellent singing voice. Is it Cruella? She wanted to make coats - coats! - out of innocent puppies, and she's got a bitchin' car.

'Fess up. Who's your favorite? Mine's Maleficent. Come on, she's evil, she can teleport, she's got a castle full of warped knee-high soldier creatures, that awesome headdress, and she turns into a dragon. A dragon.

-tom
recommended download:
Matt Nathanson, Princess

Weezer, 5.1

I was thinking three very different things about this new Weezer album. I'm going to splice them all together so that the review will lack coherence, which can be viewed symbolically as my continued confusion with the Weezer catalogue.

Weezer, it has been said, reached their artistic pinnacle with Pinkerton. I tend to believe this, for the most part because I didn't like Pinkerton when I first heard it. This has, for a while, been my measuring stick: If my initial impression of the weezer song/album is unfavorable I have tended to liking the song/album a lot upon further listening; if I liked it right off the bat I grew weary and loathsome of it. For example, I did not like El Scorcho when I first heard it, and now am of the opinion that it is one of the greatest weezer songs in the world. Also, Island In The Sun, easy to listen to fun poppy rock, I hate hate hate. And this is the problem with the new album. I like it (which means I won't) and I don't like it (which means I might). I won't know for sure for another two months when I'll either catch myself humming a melody and realize it's from that weezer cd I bought two months ago, or, I'll hear a single on the radio and feel the need to break it with the nearest heavy object preferably a sledgehammer (which are, handily, almost always nearby).
See, here's the thing: Weezer has done, with at least three of these new tracks, exactly what Blink 182 did with Takeoff Your Pants and Jacket (which, I hope you are never subjected to ever). They borrowed opening riffs, they borrowed melodies, they borrowed rhythms and then tweaked them a little bit. The result is a disc that sounds very similar to earlier work. Which, let's be honest, is a total cop out. In the case of Blink 182, nearly 100% of the cd sucked. In Weezer's case...maybe not. See, there are two or three opening riffs that hark back to The Green Album and Maladroit, but the rest seem...original, but not necessarily good.
They've departed from their earlier artistic brilliance. That's not to say it's not a good cd to have in your collection, because, well it might be, but it's no Pinkerton. Which brings me to another point. Leave these guys alone! Shouldn't we be celebrating that musical masterpiece instead of ripping apart any further effort this group turns out as not being up to snuff? Yes, Pinkerton was brilliant, and maybe that's the sum total of all Weezer's brilliance, maybe they used it all up on the first two albums. So be it. If this is true, don't buy anything else by them ever, don't get The Green Album, don't get Maladroit, and don't get Make Believe. On the other hand, if you're a Weezer fan, even a little bit, then go for it. By far the album I hate the most is The Green Album, it lacks lyrical depth, it lacks powerful music, and it lacks distortion, which I love. And that's one of my problems with Make Believe, lyrically it's more like Green than anything else, but musically it's more like Maladroit. Cheesey lyrics, heavy guitars, this might be a great show to see live, but maybe it doesn't stack up with what we've come to expect from weezer (which, as I mentioned before, may only be a freak thing...maybe this is what we should expect from them and Pinkerton was just a fluke)
Finally I have a theory. Look at the covers of the first four albums. Weezer, Pinkerton, Weezer (The Green Album), Maladroit. Notice that we colloquially call the third disc "the green album" because it's green, but really the only thing on the cover is the band's name: "weezer" just like, just like the first self-titled cd. Maybe this is a separate run for this group. Maybe the first two were like, Hey, here's this group of wonderful songs that you will love forever, and maybe then they decided that hey, we can't keep this up, let's start again, but this time, with two minutes and thirty seconds of radio-friendly power pop at a time. So that's why the green album should maybe be called "weezer" like it's the launch of a new band. And, if we're looking at it like that, then this new band has three albums, the first one sucks, the second one's ok, and the third one sucks a little but isn't as bad as the first one.

But I'm a fan. I'm listening to Make Believe these days, and whether I'll like it or not in a few weeks remains to be heard. So, to all you out there giving this band crap because nothing has approached the heights of Pinkerton lay the hell off of them. How would you feel if your creative masterpiece was finished when you were eighteen and now you can't even draw a smiley face without catching heat, because now people won't shut up about that masterpiece, hmm? I have no idea how you'd feel. The point is, compare this album to Maladroit, not Pinkerton. That's like comparing The Matrix Revolutions to The Matrix. Of course it's not going to stand up, it was terrible. But, if you compare it to The Matrix Reloaded, well, at least it's palatable. (Maybe that's a bad parallel, The Matrix Revolutions sucked. Make Believe, maybe not).


to summarize: I don't know how I feel about this new Weezer cd. I do know that I hate the opinion that Pinkerton is the be-all-end-all of music. I also know that I loved The Matrix Reloaded.

-tom
recommended download:
Weezer, In The Garage, and Only In Dreams

make believe

stay tuned for a review of weezer's new album make believe
-t

Birthday Citation

An exercise from today's career development class: Birthday Citation - This exercise is projective in nature. Imagine that five to ten years from now you are having a birthday party celebration and someone has contacted you about a citation that wil appear in your local newspaper. Write a paragrpah or two that captures what you would like said about you at that time. Areas that you might chooose to include are your work (pace, setting, location, dress, compensation), hobbies, personal life (school, family friends, organizations, community involvement), civic activities, etc. - all of these are suggestive, certainly not mandated. Please include only those things that would make you proud and your birthday party a big success!

Date: 7/24/2016

LOCAL VISIONARY CELEBRATES 34TH

Today the founder of the Greater Boston Progressive Theater celebrates his 34th birthday, and we here at the Tribune wish him all the best. You may know him better as the leader of the "Renegade Republicans" the forward-thinking group of Massachusetts Senators who seem to have single-mindedly transformed the politics of the Commonwealth over the last six years, redefining community service, introducing tough crime bills, reinvigorating down-and-out school districts, and, most recently, getting one of their own elected to the govenor's office. It's hard to believe the wily political mind behind what could be considered a lifetime of achievement on the hill is an all-star center fielder for his district's softball league, and can be found more often playing Tiger Woods PGA Tour on his Xbox, than out on the links like some of his more infamous Beacon Hill colleagues.
You may recall the first victory on the road to success, the stirring defense of "Tax-achusetts" income law onm the steps of the State House by a still wet-behind-the-ears accountant. The speech made local news, but his victory in the following Senate campaign was reported on the national stage, the near-unanimous (99.3% of the vote) landslide against the seemingly popular incumbent. Well, that may be the answer you expect from him when asked about his biggest win, but he tells it different. This interviewer even noticed a mischevious glint in his eye as he turned to his wife of eight years and gave her hand a squeeze. "This is the biggest victory I'll ever have, winning her hand in marriage." Almost a decade and two children later he says he is just as happy as on their wedding day, and she offers no objections. He then mentions quietly five-year old David is already ten-for-ten three games into the T-ball season, and Margaret, now three, is getting some good movement on her curveball.
The family will be celebrating with friends and cousins for much of today with a barbecue at Devir Park. Our favorite once-accountant-turned-govenor-in-the-wings will be setting out with his climbing team for the Swiss Alps at the end of the month.

-Jay Petton is a contributing writer for the Tribune

Career Counselling

This morning I am at a seminar for career counselling. MY manager signed me up a while ago. It's two hours long, in quincy, which is an extra fifteen minutes on the train, and probably will not be very valuable to me. I'm an entry level employee at a massive financial institution, what's your advice? "Don't fuck up - and get a haircut." Thanks. We all know "Suck up to your boss and blame your mistakes on somebody else" isn't going to be a bullet point on the slide show.

Corporate America can shove it.

-tom

faux pas

I may not be using that title correctly (also I may not have spelled that title correctly) I don't know much french. Here's the situation:

I just spilled coffee on my (hyper)manager's suit jacket.
Which he is wearing tonight.
To a wake.
Is this maybe the worst/funniest-in-a-bad-way-if-you're-me/funny-in-a-I-feel-awful-for-laughing-about-this-way-if-you're-not-me thing that could have happened? You know, actually, maybe I wouldn't feel bad laughing about this if it didn't happen to me, cross that last slash-thingy off. The story: Coffee. On the wake suit. - My bad.

Ok, actually, just kidding. I didn't spill anything on his suit. What did happen was this:
I leaned over his cubicle wall, with a pen, a pen, in my hand. The pen happened to be directly over his suit jacket, which he had hanging on that wall of the cubicle, and I suddenly thought "if this pen were leaking or one of those pens that is prone to explode and it did so right now and ink got on his jacket that would be bad." And immediately after thinking that I remembered why he had the jacket in the first place, which is the wake, and thought "that would make it doubly bad." Which made me think of the coffee scenario you read about earlier. And how bad that would be.


And, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm probably going accidentally spill something on his suit jacket while concentrating on not doing exactly that.

-tom
recommended download:
Weezer, Surf Wax America and Jamie and Susanne

Nine

So, Ralph is on vacation this week, all week. I took over one of his smaller funds while he's away. However, Ben and Lawrence are also out today, both have called in sick. It seems orchestrated - but that's neither here nor there. I am covering one of Ben's funds and one of Lawrence's funds. This brings my total to nine. Just like the good old days, like back when I started this blog - well, then I had eight, but close enough, right? - and it's a pretty good spread. For easy funds, I've got three tax-frees: they pretty much just sit there, sometimes they'll go haywire, but usually nearer the begining of the month. Two taxables: they just sit there and roll income over to tomorrow, not usually any trades, not usually any issues. Then, I've got (1) The Ireland fund: not bad, but different from all the rest, and requires more work; (2) the Government Yield fund, which isn't usually bad but has a tendecy to go haywire much more often than the tax-frees; (3) the Trust fund, which is big, and trades late, and the trade guy is having some family issues, or dealing with gambling debts, or maybe is considering major reconstructive plastic surgery, or something, whatever it is it's certainly keeping his mind off the fund lately and errors are increasing; and (4) The tax-free-but-I-want-to-be-a-taxable-so-bad-I-can-taste-it fund, which should be an easy tax-free like all the others, but, unlike tax-frees and much more like taxables it trades often, trades late, often trades late, and is gigantic, and whenever a fund is this gigantic the number of errors increases dramatically.

So I'm pretty excited for today's workload.

-Tom
recommended download:
Dispatch, Bulletholes
Cake, Commissioning a Symphony in C
Weezer, El Scorcho, Buddy Holly
and
Weezer, Love Explosion

how stupid is it, I can't talk about it, I've gotta sing about it, and
make a record oh/
how stupid is it, for all I know you want me to, and mabye you just
don't know what to do/
and maybe you're scared to say, I'm fallin' for you

Don't Let Go

la la la, la lala la la, la la la la la, new weezer cd, la, la lala la la la

and The Life Aquatic and Rushmore arrived from amazon today. sweet.

-tom
recommended download:
Weezer: Photograph, and Don't Let Go

ok these are good shows

these are some good shows:
deadliest catch, the shield, west wing, and rescue me.
catch one, if you get a chance

-tom

ps, weezer's new album, dun dun dun!

Baby on board

I feel sick to my stomach. That burrito is having a fist-fight with the cocoa puffs I had for breakfast...like a matrix, neo-agent smith final battle fist fight. You know that part where they're beating the hell out of each other and the force of their simultaneous punch expands and pushes the rain out in a gigantic shock wave? yeah, that's the queso and the cocoa in my stomach right now. bleh.

I'll recover in a bit though, I hope.
also, Adina, is it any wonder this post reminded me of you? I don't think so.

post-lunch,
-tom

recommended download:
The Simpsons, Baby On Board


ps. I love the Matrix.

By-products

Well, no, not by-products, "buy products." This is a message for all you consumers out there.
See, right here (I'm pointing to the upper right hand corner of the page), right there above my profile? (I'm indicating the "web gear" link) That's a new link. So all you out there with some discretionary income, spend some if it at the a20261 store! It'll be great. You'll look cool, I'll be popular.

Be My Billboard!

love,
tom

recommended download:
Marcy Playground, Punk Rock Superstar

Missed Connections

So, craigslist.com. It's a nice place. Get a couch, or a pool table, find a roommate, etc. They've also got a section called "missed connections." You can leave a message to that girl you saw on the train and meant to talk to, or someone you saw on your way to the bank...This is a direct quote "you were wearing an olive workshirt, standing in line for a computer.. i noticed you because of your textbook: you use post-its like crazy, just like me!" You leave your email address, you hope for the other person to be checking these things and respond. When I first found this I thought it was hilarious I mean really I was laughing like crazy at some of these posts, this one, for example.

But there are so many of them. Like, so many. Got me to thinking: there must be lots of lonely people out there. Poor folks. After you eliminate the pranks, psychos, and veterans of the site there are still a lot of missed connections. I found it a little sad.

I said, "Martha its not some kind of contest
that says in the end, if you love someone the most
you will get to keep them"
she says, "maybe it should be.

So, missed connections, don't wait around. Seize the day, don't save it for craigslist.

-tom
recommended downloads:
Pearl Jam, Alone
and
Brian Webb, Martha

ah, supersaver shipping, the bane of my existence

That's pretty nice, isn't it? Look at that again. "bane of my existence" ok, now read the first part "supersaver shipping." Damn, that's nice. This is the world I live in. My biggest problem is waiting for the mail. or Fedex, or UPS, or whoever amazon.com has delivering these days. That's the worst thing. This is either (a) because I have chosen to surround myself with comforts and take the easy path at any and all turns, or (b) because I choose to ignore things that qualify as actual hardships, and I would identify some examples for you now, but I can't because if they exist I'm ignoring them, and so am unaware. Happiness thy name is denial, and I love thee.

-tom
recommended downloads
Cowboy Mouth, Easy

Boycott Monday

That's today's theme. Boycott Monday.
I'm bored. I'm just sitting here, waiting for rates to come in. Bored. But what else is new.
I don't have much to write about, so I'm just typing here, really only attempting to make sure words are spelled correctly and make good grammatical sense. I'm not too worried about coherent thought, as it is my belief that if you are still reading you must be just as bored, or in need of a distraction as I am while I'm typing. If you were looking for coherence, quality, or imagination you'd be reading the freep or something. Well, maybe not if you wanted imagination, I could probably cover that. My imagination works all the time. I spent an entire afternoon thinking about turning office supplies into toys for kids. They'd be military toys, based on a line that I used to play with back when I was like seven or something. These toys were everyday objects that transformed into missles or command stations or tanks or something, my favorite was my watch. It was about the size of my head, and it was camoflauge, and when you pressed the big red button on the side the top flipped open and there was a command station inside with little guys, and there was a propellor that you could wind and then release and it would fly like ten feet in the air straight up. It was awesome. Anyway, I spent that afternoon thinking about how the stapler might open up to reveal a groun-to-air missle and how the phone would undoubtedly be a tank, and that the keyboard would probably turn into some sort of airplane. But here I am, off on a tangent, I meant to talk about how my often working imagination was working, as if often does, last night as I was trying to get to sleep, and came up with a synopsis for an episode of futurama the details of which I will not reveal because I don't want you stealing my idea and making tons of money after submitting it to fox and then beign hired as a writer for one of their shows. I'd much rather it be me hired to write for futurama or the simpsons, and man you can bet I'd do my damdest to revamp that show. Here I am, off on another tangent, I'll try to stick to the point, which as far as I can remember, I can't remember. Which is another problem. Hey, I know my memory isn't the greatest thing ever, I've written about that every now and again, or maybe just once I can't recall, and sometimes I even celebrate my poor memory. But there was a time, once, when my memory was up to snuff, cut the mustard, etc. And that was back in school. Out here, in the real world, I don't have anything I need to remember. Nothing. Not that there was much I needed to remember in school either, mostly the learning I did was passive and happened unbeknownst to me. (For example, junior year of high school we had the coolest spanish teacher this side of Spain, he spent the entire year telling stories about his days in the army, his days as an international exporter, and one really really great story about flying over the rocky mountains and the turbulence that almost crashed the plane, which happened to be full of nuns. No learning of spanish at anytime. The next year, new teacher, first day she hands out a quiz. "I'm going to quiz you on the subjunctive tense, which is what you focussed on last year." While I'm thinking, "What? We didn't learn anything, I'm going to fail the first quiz of they year." But I didn't, I scored 100% on that quiz, because aparently we did learn the subjunctive tense, and I was happily unaware the whole time.) But what is there for me to remember now? Nothing. Get up, go to work, come home. I don't even have to remember to set my alarm because it does that on its own. I've never been good with dates, and now I'm worse; I haven't thought about what today's date is in something like three months. I haven't had the need. I spend my days doodling on post-it notes and scrap paper, I cruise around online and read journals, or look up song lyrics I can't remember, and promptly forget, and, when there aren't any new blog entries, any exciting links, any more pictures of big-eyed kids in new suits coming to work for the first time to draw, I write a little in my web log here, or as is today's case, I write a lot. If you've made it this far I congratulate you, and sympathize with your need for distraction. desire for action, or want of meaningful interaction.


peace out dudes
-tom

recommended downloads-
Don Hertzfeldt animations: Billy's Balloon, Rejected, and, L'Amour

The Gang's All Here

A while back, just before high school maybe, when I thought I'd established my musical taste, when I felt pretty comfortable with the genre I'd chosen and didn't expect to add too many more artists to my collection I realized I'd pigeon holed myself. I did not have one female musician in my entire collection of music. Let us disregard that, at the time, I had settled on "alternative rock" and was only willing to listen to ten bands (nine of which played on wbcn boston - highlights include nirvana and godsmack). Let us also disregard my lack of exposure (my experience, to that point, was wbcn and the disney sing-alongs my toddler siblings loved so much). The point is: no female artists.

Then my cousin gave me all her old cassettes. A whole basket full of them. After pawing through such old, and clearly out-of-date groups The Police, Genesis, AC/DC, Guns n Roses, and Aerosmith I found a few gems, like The Offspring, Pearl Jam, Dave Matthews Band, and, Alanis Morissette. Lo and behold, a female rock star. Adding a second gender to my collection was not the goal, I just wanted some good music, and "Jagged Little Pill" was it.

Young and stupid. That was me. I'd based my "taste" not on the quality of the music but on the parameters the music was defined by: was it grunge? was it new? was the band "cool?" I was wrong.

A little older, and probaby just as stupid. That's me now. Except for that small realization that opened the world of music to me (well, that one realization and a girlfriend I had in college, she helped a lot too). And now I'll give anything a try. Sure, I'm settling into a pattern, slowly drifting into "classic rock" (like queen, like the who, like that's right, AC/DC) but no longer to the exclusion of other genres or artists. Thank goodness for that.

Oh, the reason I bring it up is because, now, I still don't have many female artists in my collection. Alanis, Sarah Harmer, Ani DiFranco, and that might be it. Just something I was thinking about.

-Tom

recommended downloads:
Alanis Morissette, One Hand In My Pocket
and
Oasis, Hey Hey, My My (Neil Young cover)

burn7

burn7
Originally uploaded by a20261.

Dear faithful readers. This is a picture of me. Note the sunburn. This photo was taken approximately eleven months ago, after the first day at the beach. Long sleeves, hat, sunblock (spf 45, used early, used often), and still, every exposed inch of skin was burnt. It's how I operate.

happy summer everybody. :)

-tom
recommended download
Fountains of Wayne, It Must Be Summer

Playlist

friday night, shuffle


The Stone, dave matthews band
Redundant, green day
Yoshimi vs. the Pink Robots, the flaming lips
Grey Street, dave matthews band
Ol' Time Pigeon Farm, marcy playground
A Quick Peep, oasis
Machine Head, bush
Privelege, incubus
Concede (Live), sister hazel
Universal Soldier, phil ochs
Falling For You, weezer
Hotter Than The Sun, marcy playground
Barfly, marcy playground

-tom

Season Four

We're now watching West Wing season four on dvd. This will occupy my nights, probably through the weekend. The West Wing is a great show, and if you don't know and love it, you should, and I would be happy to let you come over and watch it on dvd (starting with season one, of course), just let me know when you'd like to visit.

Also, if I've planned it right, or if the stars align, or fate agrees, or whatever determines things like this, we will have finished season four just as my new dvds arrives in the mail (Rushmore, and The Life Aquatic) which we can then watch, either consecutively or on consecutive nights.

Speaking of nights I at first typed "knights" which reminded me of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, which I haven't seen in a while, so I'll probably be watching that very soon too, now that I've reminded myself.

And my cousin is letting me borrow Gran Turismo for xbox so I'm pretty excited, I hear it's a sweet game. In other game news I still (still) haven't beaten Tony Hawk's Underground on the hardest difficulty because I can't get past the stupid "hangover cure" goal in the Moscow level (that's Moscow, Russia, not Moscow, PA). This is very similar to that time, in second grade when I got my Nintendo (NES) and would wake up half an hour earlier than I had to on school days so I could play Mario Bros. and how I was never ever able to beat the game because however good I was, and however many secrets I memorized I could never ever ever get past 8-3. It wasn't until freshman year of college, when I brough my NES back to the dorm with me after christmas break that I finally got past that level and then beat 8-4 on the first try (seriously, that level's a cake-walk). Also, I was so overjoyed that I'd finally finally finally (we're talking about overcoming a decade of not beating the game) that I then set out to beat my own speed record. I think I eventually plateaued at fifteen minutes from 1-1 to 8-4. The water world was always one of my favorites...or any that took place underground. Hopefully I won't have to wait ten years to beat this Moscow goal. Because once I win, then I've given myself permission to purchase Tony Hawk's Underground 2. And won't that be sweet. (it will be)

until then, this is tom, signing off.

recommended downloads:
Queen: Fat Bottomed Girls, Bohemian Rhapsody, It's Late, and Get Down, Make Love

what's a guy to do?

I can't stand it. Yes, it should have been over months ago, and, for all other involved parties, it probably was. I'm the only one still thinking about this, but really, I can't help it, she's just so gorgeous. Stupid pretty girls. All of you pretty girls out there: stop it. Stop being so maddeningly pretty. It's driving us guys (in general) and me (in particular) crazy. This is not a good way to operate. (On the other hand, I do love the seemingly permanent yet most delicate high I'm on) (also, I just used two adverbs ending in "ingly" which is awesome).

Anyway. She. Looks. Gorgeous today. I can't stand it. We don't exchange more than ten words a week, usually the same three words repeated: "how's it going?" "ok." That's it. But I'll take whatever she gives me. (really, what else would I do, get over it? move on? you obviously don't know me that well ;)

**************************************************
And in other BIG NEWS: Cute girl update.
You may recall that I'd given up on cg after learning she is engaged to be married. However, however, today cg asked me for help. I'm going to repeat that again in bold. She asked me for help! Go me!

See, everybody's archiving. And I know a little bit about that, since they sent me to that stupid class. And cg is archiving and said "can you help me later this afternoon with archiving?" and I, of course, said yes (while simultaneously trying not to jump up and down for joy). Because, readers, even if this is not the begining of a beautiful relationship, it could, (as I hope) be the begining of a wonderful friendship. BAM!

To sum up: I am happy today. I have boxed the last of my funds, I have budgetted one of my budgets, and though the funds today are troublesome, nothing can get me down. She knows who I am and asked me for help. Sweet.

-Tom
recommended download
Prince, Starfish and Coffee
Matt Nathanson, Starfish and Coffee (Prince cover)
BAM!

The budget schedules are in!

Alright. Wow. I've been waiting all month for this: The budget schedule is here. My manager just came over to give me the good news. This month we only have (total) twelve budgets due (last month it was about thirty). The bad news is that my two budgets are due Friday. That's this friday, only two days away.

I'm not worried though, they look like small funds, and I am getting better and better at these budgets. Oh, but we also have to keep archiving. We boxed up so much stuff last week we had to order a new batch of boxes. So that's another project that will "keep me busy." Right.

happy budget cycle
-Tom

recommended download
Matt Nathanson, Wings
and
Bob Schneider, Big Blue Sea

do not name your baby girl riley

There is a posterboard on the other side of the office. Today on it was written

Congratulations Jenn!
Jenn had a baby girl, Riley Elizabeth

I do not know why the message is directed at Jenn, I believe if she did just have the baby she'd be resting in the hospital instead of rushing back to work to check the posterboard. I don't know Jenn. I don't know where she sits, I don't think I've ever met her, I didn't know she was pregnant, or even that her due date was approaching. Had I known I no doubt would have wished her a safe and healthy delivery, etc etc etc. Now however, one fact is blotting out all others: She's named her baby girl Riley. Riley is not a girl's name. It's hardly a boy's name. It is a last name. A surname.

John I expect you to leave that link to that hilarious baby name site in the comments.

Do not name your baby girl Riley.

-Tom
recommended download
Johnny Cash, Boy Named Sue

me learn good

They (they, the managers, senior managers, assistant vice presidents, vice presidents, and so on) here at this place that I work at have encouraged us to complete online tutorials outlining our standard operating procedures. Once all their employees have completed the course they can claim "All employees are familiar with and practice our SOPs." or whatever sentence in their annual statement of goals has prompted this policy. They have hired some online tutorial firm to develop, design, implement a web-based program that will kindly lead all us non-managerial sheep through our "sop's" Good for them.

These tutorials are inane. Structured like a human resources powerpoint presentation information (usually non-pertinent) floats, bobs, weaves, and slides its way across the page and settles in its place with a cute wobble, followed by stock .gifs of accountants having cheery discussions with their managers. The managers and suck up accountants then seem to listen closely, full of enjoyment to the SOUNDTRACK of the stupid web-based power-crap presentation. THERE IS NO REASON FOR MUSIC. Each page uses about five seconds of "animation" there are approximately seven pages to each presentation, there are 25 presentations to get through. This takes some time.

It's not that I don't want to learn all about our standard ops. but I will learn much quicker if I were presented with a word document outlining the salient facts. No animation, no pretty colors, and OMG IF YOU DO NOT MAKE THAT ELEVATOR MUSIC STOP I WILL FIND YOU AND CRUSH YOUR BRAIN

Right, sorry. I understand there may be some out there that need a cutesy little sky-blue border to sweep across their screen in order to learn. BUT EVERYBODY ELSE HATES IT.

At the end of each presentation there is a quiz. A multiple choice, check-all-that-apply, true-false quiz. You need to score 90% to pass. The numer of questions vary from four to seven. I will do the math for you: 25 points a question up to 14 points a question. If you get one wrong, you fail. AND HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE DAMN MUSIC AGAIN.

I've muted my computer. If I do have to spend an hour and a half waiting for these "cutesy" animations to finish I refuse, refuse, refuse to listen to that damn music. I've also taken to skipping the info and going right to the quiz, then randomly clicking answers. You'll never get 100% on the first try, but after about three or four you start guessing correctly. I complete the tutorials in about the same time that way, and now, I don't have to bother learning anything. I have seven more tutorials to get through. "I am familiar with our standard operating procedures."

Score another one for corporate america.

-Tom
recommended download
The Gin Blossoms, Jealousy, and I'll Follow You Down
Better Than Ezra, Roselia, and King Of New Orleans

Trade date plus one

Monday morning. Welcome back.

I was here until about eleven on friday night, then everybody went out drinking at a bar just down the block. Then I went home.
I had had big plans for saturday, but it was rainy and I didn't want to get my nice new shoes wet or muddy. So instead of going out I stayed inside and watched eight hours of gilmore girls on abc family while reading that book that I'm now reading.
After eight hours of tv we ordered pizza, then a while after that my brother and I drove in to visit my mom at the hospital and bring her pizza.
We ordered another pizza on the way home and ate it while we watched snl. It was a repeat, the one with Finesse Mitchell playing Morgan Freeman on Weekend Update "No more 'Get busy livin' or get busy dyin,' I just want to get busy."
Sunday I slept until one (again) and sat around and watched television (go sox) and sat around. I don't think I went outside all weekend except to pick up the pizzas. That's a pretty good weekend.
It sort of averages out, once it's not raining we'll all be outside in the yard playing wiffleball or home run derby or off the steps or run the bases or kickball or street hockey or tennis or hide and seek or something, we'll be outside for sixteen, eighteen hours at a time. So it'll all average out. Which reminds me, I should get the West Wing season four on dvd - for the next rainy weekend.

-Tom
recommended download:
Cowboy Mouth, Easy

Friday Night Light

I'll be staying late tonight to work on month-end expenses.

I'm going to need some coffee.
-Tom

Boycott Best Buy

Best Buy used to be my favorite place to purchase dvds. No more. I used to really enjoy drifting up and down the aisles slowly reading all the titles and selecting (I'll be honest) eight or nine at a time. However. Best Buy sucks. Therefore I am no longer going to do any purchasing of anything there ever again, no matter how convenient. Here's why:

I bought a digital camera (really). You may recall the nightmare of phone calls and double-crosses I had to get through to purchase my digital camera: (jog your memory). You may also recall I was compelled to buy retail at Best Buy, which was really just a continuation of that nightmare: (come again). But Now, now I see the final chapter, the culmination of what undoubtedly took years of hard work to devise and implement. Best Buy corporate must have a chapter in their business statement called "how to screw the consumer you've already screwed over at least once." Probably right after the chapter on hiring customer service representatives who could not complete the GED requirements.

I used my Best Buy credit card at the time of purchase. I accepted their offer of zero interest for six months, and planned to pay the balance within a few weeks time. I discovered very soon after making my purchase that the balance can be paid over the phone through an automated 800 number. Excellent, I appreciate automated billing, it makes things easy. Call up, punch in some numbers, the pound sign (aside: the tic-tac-toe board-looking symbol on the bottom right key of your keypad is sometimes called an octothorpe). So, I called the number.

I was informed, via automated voice girl, that I would need the invoice number, printed on my billing statement, to access the system. To that point I had not received a statement. Very well, I shall wait, after all I've got six months.

Yesterday I received my first statement. First statement. Much to my surprise I saw not only the charge for my digital camera which I covered with their stupid Best Buy credit card, but, but, also an eleven dollar late fee. WTF, my dear readers, wtf. They've charged me a late fee before sending me the first bill. Strange? Yes. Disputable? Yes. Only the begining? Yes.

Because now that I have an invoice number I can call the automated system, pay the balance (dispute the late fee) and be done with the whole affair. Well GUESS WHAT. The lovely, quick, automated system CHARGES A FEE TO PROCESS YOUR PAYMENT w. t. f. [should be read as a menacing whisper] w.t.f.

So my options are these:
1. hang up, write out a check, buy a stamp, send the check, get charged one or possibly two more unfounded late fees, call customer service (repeatedly) to dispute said late fees, and drag this on for months.

2. stay on the line, pay the balance (not the late fee, possible not the processing fee) save the fight with customer service for another day

3. pay the whole damn thing. bastards.

I chose option two. Because come on. There's no way I'm paying the late fee, because you never told me when my first payment was due. I think it's really an ingenious little scheme. Don't tell the consumer he's late until it's too late, and then charge him. Bastards.

Now the processing fee is just a whole 'nother mind game. Another ingenious scheme: Offer the consumer an easy, fast, pain-free way to pay off his enormous credit card balance, and then charge him for it. Bastards. Oh, and then confuse him.

Confuse me? Yes. Because after agreeing to the processing fee, and agreeing to leave it on my balance (to be disputed at a future date), as I exited out of the automated system the pleasant female voice kindly reminded me that there was a fee for using the system. wtf? Is that the processing fee I've already agreed to or are you naming another hidden fee, just to call up your stupid bill-pay hotline missy? Cuz that ain't happenin'. If you're saying I now have to dispute three bogus charges I may skip the phone call altogether, fly down to Best Buy HQ in Carolina to formally denounce the corporation and formally announce a boycott. Which I'm doing anyway. But if I have to fly down there I'm going to kick it into high gear. I'm talking rallies, pickets, rioting, the works. Charge me a late fee? I'll kick your ass.

-Tom
recommended download:
Barenaked Ladies , Life, In A Nutshell
and
Weezer, Don't Let Go

it's like a disease

blogger - has finally done it: interfered. and what's worse: it's getting worse.

When all this began, months ago, I was diligent, dedicated, efficient, and pure. I did my work. I double-checked. Then I blogged.
Soon after this began, less months ago, I was less diligent, semi-dedicated, efficient, and not so pure. I did my work. While I did my work I thought about blogging. Sometimes I would blog then work.
Now, now, I am at the mercy of my desire to blog. At its mercy. To bring the point into relief (unconscious acts are italicized):

This morning I made an entry on my spreadsheet. I clicked Save. I opened a window to the internet. I clicked print. I logged in to blogger.com. I began thinking about the Celtics. I began writing about the Celtics. I began browsing around online. I visited other blogs. I thought that I had forgotten something. I continued to browse the internet. I sort of think something I forgot is job-related. Maybe something to do with my...computer? I opened my email. I logged onto AIM. I perused away messages. Maybe I printed...something. Yes. Think about that. Think. I went back to the internet. AHA! The printer!! I have to go to the printer!! ...

It's become my driving force. No longer a conscious thought. This could spell trouble.

-Tom
recommended download:
Blink 182, A New Hope
Marcy Playground, Wave Motion Gun
Bob Dylan, The Times They Are A' Changing
The Who, The Seeker

They are obsessed with the celtics

What is the big deal. The whole office. It's basketball for crying out loud. And I can't stand basketball. And it's not even good basketball. They won their division with a .500 record. Can you imagine? They were the best in their division because they only lost half of their games. A dominant team they are not.

AND NO ONE WILL SHUT UP ABOUT IT. Stupid coworkers. I can hardly stand them talking about the Red Sox, and I love baseball. I mean come on. Basketball hasn't been the same since Jordan left the game, and you people out there who were fans and now are just sitting around calling yourselves fans but really you're just waiting for the second coming of his Airness (wwMJd) are almost as bad as the people out there who actually like this sport. WHATS THE BIG DEAL?

It's not exciting. It's not a team sport. It's not a "team" league. It's an individual's league. It all started with MJ. I don't blame him though, how could you not get caught up in the greatest player to ever walk the face of the earth's game? I blame the league. It was their decision to start fueling and advertising the individual "superstar" (of which Jordan was the last, or only) and the "grudges" or "feuds" "Come see Shaq and Kobe battle for supremacy in the West." Um. Hello. Last time I checked they put five guys out on the floor. Yeah, that's right five. That's four more than one. Someone should maybe remind the league office. Guys, you should promote the TEAM. If you wanted grudge matches maybe you should start talking to the wwe or hell, you can maybe start promoting ten pin. BUT THERE ARE FOUR OTHER GUYS (who I'm pretty sure are payed well) OUT THERE TOO.

To sum up ADINA SKIM TO HERE the NBA has ruined basketball. Plus I'm not a fan anyway. And there's no way the Celtics get past the second round, because they're not very good. Stupid basketball.

-Tom
recommended download:
The Monkees, Last Train To Clarksville

Now and then I find my way

I am the opposite of awake: tired. That's not really the opposite, but it is a good illustration of how my mind is working right now: Slowly. I think a giant dunkin donuts latte is in order, but I think I will probably not get one, since car insurance is so expensive. That didn't seem closely related, did it? I'll explain: I would like to purchase a car, I need money. I am saving money. I just learned however exactly how expensive car insurance really is: very expensive. Therefore, I need to save money for the car and also for the insurance for the car. Therefore I am trying, with much difficulty, to will myself into a spending freeze. No more bought lunches. No more spur of themoment dvd purchases. No more compulsive transactions for, yet another, pair of sunglasses. I have, to this point, failed miserably. Why, just yesterday I logged on to amazon.com and bought the life aquatic and rushmore. It wasn't the one click purchase that got me either, I went through all the steps. I used to be good at saving money. Like in fuorth grade, when we got a quarter to buy milk at lunch, and I saved those quarters all year and at the end of the year I had like seventeen dollars in quarters. Which are still sitting in my piggie bank. Though, my boss did ask me to work late friday for some overtime pay. That's a good thing. Really, working late means I'll get out of here near maybe eight o'clock, that's the perfect time to head in to the city and eat dinner and then meet some people and go out. What a perfect way to blow the overtime pay I will have just earned. Spending freeze. Right.

-Tom
recommended download
Three Doors Down, Away From The Sun

I'm not dead either

This is a post to send messages to other people-

John: nobody thought you were dead. Though it would have been nice if you'd left a note or post or an away message up so people would know you were in chicago.

Kelly: congrats on being adult and the "watermelon pink" couch. also, congratulations on that other thing if you know what I mean

John and Kelly: listen, I know these people are your friends, from high school, and maybe that makes it a little more real for you, but STOP freaking out. it's a BABY. not the end of the world brought about by ATOMIC WAR. hooray for new life. If I were you I'd be crossing my fingers. the baby wouldn't freak me out so much as being asked to be god parents. I hope you're not that close to the parents ;)

Kat: how's Hermione?

Adina: how's passover? also, when you say you spent the day "passing over" was that just a flip sort of message, or did you mean it, because I think if you meant it you'd be likening yourself to the angel of death and I'd rather not think about you that way

Samantha: thanks for commenting on the blog these past few entries. it's nice to get comments.

Everyone who isn't samantha: Ahem. [points at previous message] Ahem.

Lindsay: Do you even read this? If so, you should update your journal. If it could talk I think it would say something like "ZZZzzzzzz..... ZZZZZzzzzz...."

Donny: I had a thought, how about an abstract representation of some statistical imagery for your next stained glass project? The bell curve, some important constants, or the formula from an important theorem. OR. you could do the Cheshire Cat.

Tom and Maureen: I don't think you guys are reading this, but if you are: did you see olando bloom or any other big stars over in morocco when they were filming Kingdom of Heaven? that would be pretty cool

Anonymous: to everybody out there I haven't mentioned leave me a comment :) I'll mention you next time.

-Tom
recommended download: Matt Nathanson, Answering Machine

Zzz...

I just fell asleep at my desk. Really. I was leaning on my hand, and the next thing I know, I gave a start and woke myself up. I don't know how long I was asleep, could have been only thirty seconds, but it's a first. I certainly wasn't asleep long enough for my arm to go dead and then tip over and whack my face off the keyboard (which I've seen happen, but it was a notebook not a keyboard, and it wasn't here it was in CS101). Also, not long enough for anyone to notice. I think.

-tom

x-I

Ah, young love

I was going to write about relationships, and how I'm not in one. I had intended on being serious, but my first few drafts were flip and off the cuff. Why would I want to be serious about love, or young love, or infatuation, or giant crushes that have almost no hope of reciprocation? That's the last thing I would be serious about (but seriously, when have I ever been serious about anything?)

I love the emotional turmoil associated with the begining of a relationship, that first period, when you don't know if the girl likes you, when her inadvertent smile can give you a heart attack you're so happy, when nothing makes sense and you realize you would keep it like that forever if you could. That's the stuff I love.. That's my favorite thing ever. Unfortunately (for me) the past few times that that situation has arisen the girl had no idea. When things start like that they almost never work out. All it takes is "wow, she's incredibly cool/ltalented/pretty/smart/cute, wouldn't it be great if...." and I'm off, a world of imagined happiness. My imagination is my fatal flaw. I create a world in my head where everything goes perfectly. I could script the first few dates. We're hopelessly enamored with (of?) each other. The problem, is this all happens in the few seconds after seeing the girl for the first time, before I've even had a chance to talk to her. I can count on one hand how many times it's worked out. Zero. Sometimes the girl doesn't want anything to do with me (kk) sometimes the girl likes me and would like to date me while continuing to like and date (and sleep with) all her other guy friends (km), sometimes the girl has a boyfriend (cb), and sometimes the girl never ever finds out (es). Tragic. (for me).

Anyway, spring is sprung. Love is in the air. For those of you lucky enough to have a crush, or other (significant or not) I wish you the best. For those of you out there without a crush or other, don't despair, I'm positive there's some guy you don't even know about crushing on you, whose heart stops when you glance his way and smile.

-tom
recommended download:
Matt Nathanson, Suspended
Howie Day, Collide

e-People

That's it. I'm swearing off electronic relationships. They're getting weirder and creepier everyday. This was prompted when I found way too many people I know on google. It started out innocently enough, I was thinking "wouldn't it be a hoot to find some obscure webpage someone put together in high school" but is that what I found? NO. I found instead online profile, online journals, online photo albums, all told, way too much information floating around online. Hey, I'm guilty too. I've got profiles on thefacebook on Friendster, I'm sitting here writing entries in an online journal, and they're all public, no limited access, I'm just as googleable. Before, when we all still lived in obscurity the only thing that google came up with was a photo of me juggling. (which was really cool, btw). Now though, it's out of hand. There is too much information available to anyone out there. I'm swearing off e-relations.

I'm now seeking out friendships with real, actual people. Friendships that depend on being in the same place, physically, to interact: Bars, resturants, libraries, shows, movies, coffee houses, dorms, apartments, and so on.

However. So not to exclude the other group, the-people-I've-met-but-never-in-person (deppy, c-dep, samantha, rosy, and so on) I'm going to maintain those connections. I'm talking about building more bridges, (real ones), but not tearing any down.

Oh, and, since I do love AIM so much, once we've met, in person, e-lations are totally acceptable. People move away, are busy, and so on. That's what AIM's for, and cell phones, and email, and online journals even.

Electronic communication is messing with me. Even this post is rambling and incoherent. Just an assortment of semi-related sentences. I'll try and clarify. What I'm saying is:

Get Real.

-Tom
recommended downloads:
bob schneider, king of the world, and I'm good now
green day, when I come around
and
from the Castlevania II soundtrack, Simon's Theme (Rock Remix)

This is the post that will get me fired.

Someone will read this over my shoulder, or accidentally discover the link, I may forget to lock my computer. This is the post that will get me fired.

First thoughts. I'm only going on initial impressions.

I do not enjoy coming in to work. Let's not say I hate it, but I'm no fan. I do enjoy people, I like working with them, solving problems, interacting. It's just the work.

The new senior started today, the "pretty face." Initial impressions. It's good for morale.

You won't hear me complaining about sexism or misconduct. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I do not suspect that she was given the job because she, to quote a coworker "has a nice ass," but rather because she can do the job.

But I'm writing here, (and will be fired because), I don't think it hurts. Why not have a pretty face in the group? Far be it from me to prohibit pleasant features from assailing my eyes. Far be it from anyone. Given a choice? I would undoubtedly choose the person who could do the job and be easy to look at. I like good looking women. Bring 'em on. Unless of course they're (favorite expression of its kind) as dumb as a bag of hammers. Then don't hire them. But if they're both good looking and competent? Well, that's just good for everybody concerned, isn't it? Yes. Unless you're the ugly one who got the boot. Tough.


I'm totally getting fired for this.

-Tom

Time away

The more time I spend away from work the more time I want to spend away from work. Work sucks. And I'll tell you why. Work doesn't mean anything. I spent three months interviewing for a job, I rejected offers from direct advertising groups, and poorly run start-up companies. I settled for this job because the benefits outweighed the detriments. The more time I spend away from this job the more I realize that the detriments are growing heavier.

I don't want to be a plug-in employee. All I wanted was a job with a company that wanted me. That is not the job I have. I settled for a spot that could be filled by anyone. The company does not know me, does not need me. They need someone with a college degree - and really, from the work I do (from the lack of work there is for me to do) I can tell you the college degree is a luxury for the HR department, this could be done by anyone with two years of high school education. They don't care that I juggle. They don't care how I solve problems, or that I take the greatest pleasure in understanding problems and coming up with the how-to to fix them. They only care that I fit the mold, the minimum requirements, and that I haven't screwed up. There uncaring approach is wearisome. Very soon I am going to purchase a car. Soon after that I would like to find an apartment. What I would most like to find is a company that wants to find me. Some enterprise that is looking for something specific, specifically me.

It's nice to be wanted.

-Tom
recommended download:
The Who: Can't Explain
Bob Schneider: King Of The World

The Blue Room

We all have dreams, everyone of us, and I'm sure I get distracted at times, I'm sure I stop paying attention to my dreams. We have to, I think, to let them simmer. I know that mine get placed aside in the day-to-day, and they hold a special place, for me, because they're not always in the forefront. I like to be reminded of my dreams.
Some of you may have read my earlier post, about producing. I'd written that after thinking about a play that absolutely floored me. Tonight, I saw another play. It was good. It brought that dream back into the light. I'll think about that theater for the next few days, and about actors who transform ideas into real live people. There's a world there, it's a world I'd like to be part of, and haven't yet. In its own time, I think it will happen. That's what dreams are for: to come true. Right?

-Tom
tonight's recommended downloads:
Fleetwood Mac, Landslide
and
Stephen Kellogg, Anthem Of Our Discovery

Drunk Notebook

I had my notebook with me last night. I was writing in it. Here's the transcript:

4/14/05

We had the "April 14th party at Greatest Bar" tonight. I met Donna Laura and I finally asked Ashley out. And she said "I have a boyfriend now." First of all WTF I'll totally kick his ass. Second of all Abbey is cool, so is Donna. Third of all I won't finish this thought cuz the T's here. Damn. Alcohol rocks.

I called Adina, Beth, & John... & then I called Adina, I remember she laughed a lot. then I might have called Kelly (TX) maybe
Then I called Beth to say "hi" and I don't know what else
I think the end.
I love alcohol.

2nd drunk entry

I don't remember exactly what she said, but she said "timing sucks," or "timing is bad" or something similar with "timing" but she does "want to be friends" and I don't stop by her desk as often since the move.
I don't think I'll remember this much. Rely on Adina's memory, or Beth's voicemail.
met: Donna, Laura, Ashley, Lisa talked to Mike about resp. about more resp. Don't remember much else. love alcohol!

3rd entry

I am totally confused
I don't know which way I'm heading
I don't recognize the OLP songs on my playlist
Somewhere Out There, Innocent?
don't recognize

Don't. Recognize.

I love it
&
I am worried by it.

4th

"I love life more than life itself"
The people on the T are maybe wondering why every 30 seconds I am grabbing this notebook from my bag & scribbling notes between stops I don't care

I love life I love everyone that makes life life EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS PERFECT

(listening to OLP: Gravity)

(Sullivan)

5th

I am Angry
&
I am Drunk

which one will win out?
we'll see in the morning,
I think.

I should not have consumed that much alcohol last night

I am begining to see things. I just saw a small black fly that wasn't there walk across my desk. (speaking of flies, are there any other things out there that are named because they possess a certain ability? you know, I've never heard of a "walk")

I thought I was hungover this morning when I woke up.
I think now, that I was still drunk.
Now I am hungover. It sucks.

I can remember the point that I should have stopped drinking last night. It's actually the last thing I remember about last night. Definitely should have stopped then. If I had, maybe I wouldn't feel as miserable as I do now. Physically I mean: nausea, hallucinations, headache, chills, vertigo and so on. Psychologically I'm in a pretty good place, as long as I don't think about what I did last night (or about what I suspect I did last night -see previous post for a hint-)

I hope to be able to get up from my desk and walk by lunchtime.

May or may not have happened

We had an office get together last night. At a bar. An open bar. The things I'm pretty sure happened are listed, the things that may or may not have happened are in bold.

«Began the night with Cindy and her sister and their two friends, all of them 4'5" and Vietnamese
«Had three managers comment on me being surrounded by tiny asian women, (not all of them office-appropriate comments)
«Watched the game on the big screen, go sox.
«Got asked by my managers if I was interviewing elsewhere
«Might have denied it
«Berated my senior manager and *demanded* more responsibility
«May have asked out the pretty girl
«She said no
«After asking and being denied, may have asked the pretty girl out again
«Had much too much to drink
«Learned the names of some more coworkers, names like Abbey Donna Laura Anne
«May have forgotten which names go with who
«May have asked the pretty girl out, again
«Got invited to Montreal on a trip a coworker is planning.
«May not remember which coworker is planning the trip
«May have acted like that drunk guy at the office party everybody laughs about the next day, or until someone else does something stupider.
«Called at least three people. Had four minute conversation with someone who may have been Adina
«May have left a message on Beth's phone. May have left a message on someone else's phone. May have talked to people I shouldn't have been talking to.


«May not remember all the things I don't remember doing.
You all should have been there.

-Tom
recommended download
Pushstars, Drunk is better than dead

Give to Ceasar

I paid my taxes last night. IRS telefile. Piece of cake. Call up, input the code they mailed me, and my social, and W2 info, done in three minutes. I accidentally hit 1 instead of 2 when asked if I wanted my refund mailed to me instead of directly deposited in my bank account, but whatever, the money's still coming.

And then, the Massachusetts telefile. Which is stupid. Because you need the amount of your 2003 refund to log into the system. Does anyone out there keep that handy? Does anyone out there believe for a second that I would go to the necessary lengths to save that bit of information from last year? Well, the answer is yes, shame on you doubters. I did keep the information. It just took me a while to find it.

The reason I kept it is the same thing happened last year, and I didn't have the previous year's return handy, actually I didn't have it at all. In any case, after struggling through filing last year I did save my return. Where? I couldn't remember.

But, let's think about this logically. Taxes should be filed before April 15th. I am not one to miss deadlines (well, if missing the deadline will cost me money). Therefore I must have filed last year while still at school. Therefore, if I saved anything it should be with my school files (My "files" being giant stacks of disorganized papers dating from May 2000 to May 2004 - including but not limited to college applications for schools I chose not to apply to or attend, every math test I ever took, approximately half of the philosophy tests I ever took, assorted flyers and advertisements for student group functions like the First Annual TerrierFest Juggling Convention -which only made it to the second annual convention, but that's a different post- and many, many receipts and bills for stuff I'm sure I paid for but probably lost). So, let's go check the files. Turns out, not as easy as it seems. The giant stacks of mostly useless paper products have been placed in a giant cardboard box that once housed my 17 inch monitor. The box has been placed in the crawl space in my brother's closet, behind a bureau which is bigger than the doorway. How they got the bureau in there I'll never know, maybe they built the walls around it, but there's no way it will fit out the door. Therefore, to get to the stacks I climb over the bureau.

The crawl space is shallow, and very short. I have about a foot and a half of clearance to get over and down behind to where the papers are. I make it, because I am nothing if not graceful and athletic. I manage to not break any bones or pieces of furniture in the process. Now, to actually find the tax return of yesteryear I need a light, cue the cell phone, my on-the-go flashlight. I spend ten minutes determining where the tax return should be and then start digging.

My files are stratified, like rock, it feels like an archeological dig searching for stuff in there. All you need to do is find something with a date on it, you know you're in the right area, old birthday cards, a freshman year transcript, a schedule from junior year, I could have been a geologist. About the only thing I didn't find in there was a wooly mammoth skeleton. Oh, the other thing I didn't find in there was my tax return.

So, I extricate myself from the crawl space, landing hard when I fall off of the bureau onto the floor, but sustaining only minor injuries, like a concussion. I resignedly begin toward the computer to print off a 1040a that will need to be filled out and mailed before friday, April 15th. AND THEN I REMEMBER WHERE MY TAX RETURN IS!

Well, no, but I remembered another place some old papers might be, and that's almost as good right? Right. So I go to the closet (my closet) and find the box my new hard drive came in (two years ago), and open it, and what do I find? My old hard drive - and below it: more papers! And right there on top, not my tax return, but a confirmation sheet, with confirmation number, and the amount of my state refund! BAM.

Fill out the MA telefile sheet, dial the numba, input and confirm. done done and done. Taxes filed. Refunds on the way. And then that Futurama episode where Bender is God, and then meets God.

happy fiscal year end.
-Tom

recommended downloads:
Our Lady Peace, Superman's Dead

The people in your neighborhood

Guess who I saw on the T this morning. Misty and Misty's friend! You may remember them from "A very good morning." They also had another friend with them today, a gravely-voiced gentleman in a navy blue jacket. Today's trip was nowhere near as exciting though, just your basic spring day train ride. It could have become an interesting trip, just as we were pulling out of the first station we stopped, then backed up, then sat at the station for five minutes. Nothing came of it, we just pulled out and continued on as usual.

"In your search for all things highlight worthy let the word "routine" serve as a warning sign." -Casey McCall

-Tom
recommended download
Fountains of Wayne, Radiation Vibe

This is not a good place for me.

When I left for lunch today I put on my jacket, as usual, and then, I picked up my bag, looked at my desk for a second, then slung it over my shoulder and headed for the door. I left with my bag because I was thinking about not coming back. This is not a place I usually get to, though I have been here before. This is not a good place for me.

It's not the work. There is a lot of it, but I could probably finish it all on time if I decided to do so, I have the ability. It's not the atmosphere, today has been nice, no one complaining, no bone-head managerial decisions, no obnoxious coworkers. I must have been the trip. No doubt I'm a little tired, catching up on sleep was never a goal. Exhaustion is a likely contributor to my current disposition. More than that, though, I blame the wonderfulness of the trip. I met some very great people down there in Texas. I've said before, I've never met a Texan I didn't like, and I stand by that. I blame the four wonderful days I spent in the central time zone. They made me realize, or maybe helped me to remember, that there are more important things, and most importantly, that I'm happiest experiencing those things.

Contributing to another's well-being, especially a friend's; Spending all day in the warm sunshine and light breeze of a spring day. Sitting and watching a baseball game without worrying about what's going on at work, or caring what your supervisor thinks; Meeting new people and understanding each other right away, and then laughing, because you all think the same things are funny. Enjoying life is more important. I find it very difficult to come back to work after a weekend of real happiness.

-T
recommended downloads:
Our Lady Peace, Happiness Is Not A Fish That You Can Catch and Life
Lucky Boys Confusion, Atari

Back in the saddle

In the middle of April I spent four gorgeous spring days in Dallas/Ft. Worth. When I landed in Boston on the 12th it was snowing. This is why I love New England.

Now I am back at my desk, working on funds and budgets, and trying to keep my brain off "sleep" mode. It is a difficult task (the last one, the first two are so boring they only make staying awake harder). I spent the morning deleting the 63 emails I'd missed while I was out Monday and Tuesday; none were relevant. I've also been asked three times how my trip was: once by the complainer Charlie, he was sincere; once by Anne, who was also sincere, but as she doesn't use more than six words per day she didn't have any follow-up questions; and once by hypermanager, who was not sincere, but rather waiting for a chance to ask "did you go to a mustang ranch, how about a dude ranch? were you at a chicken ranch?" Thanks buddy. I was in Dallas. I saw three cowboys hats, total.

I may or may not post highlights from the trip later on, right now I'm not in a very highlighty place. I'm much more in a close my eyes and go to sleep at my desk place. No, that's wrong. The place I'm really in is that place where you know there are things more important than funds, and cubicles, when you know that spending time with friends on warm spring days, meeting new exciting people, and travelling to places you haven't been before, and then enjoying coming back home are more important. Alas, I haven't established a way to generate cash flow without spending time here at work though. So I'm back in between "travel to new places" times, languishing in the "do boring repetative work" time.

-Tom
recommended downloads
Our Lady Peace, Are You Sad

The Last Stop

So Amazo is moving on to bigger and better things, eh? Well, not this guy. I'm staying right here on blogger. You know why? Because it's easy, that's why. They manager the servers, they store my archives, they worry about security, it's great.

I walk the fine line between lazy and efficient. Well, I don't so much walk the line as jump back and forth across it. The point is: Blogger doesn't cost me any money (without peppering me with ads ads ads). The point is: Blogger is better than lj. The point is, I've already spent so much time (ten mintues, total) coming up with aliases for the blogs in the links section. Come on "Escape from Suburbia"? That's great. It should come with an eyepatch. (hi Felecia P-) (that's a pirate, with an eyepatch).

This is where I am, and this is where I'll stay. (and that is a direct quote from The Princess Bride).

-Tom
recommended purchase:
Marcy Playground, MP3 (it's their third album. get it?) (that "get it?" question refers to the joke - not the album. if the "get it" refered to the album it would have been imperative and punctuated with a period.)

P-r arr.

Two bit

When I quit my job I'm going to let it all go. I will consciously disregard any and all technical aspects of what we do here. I will consciously allow my skills to fall away, unpracticed, unused, one by one. Leave it all behind.

It will happen quickly, one or two days after my resignation it will be complete. If asked to return soon after leaving I would need to be retrained for each part of the job. Trades, rates, funds, and holdings would no longer mean anything. I will forget phone extensions, I will for get email addresses, even my own, I will be unable to recognize former coworkers in a crowd.

When I leave, everything goes.

-Tom
recommended download:
Marcy Playground, No One's Boy

Tom does Texas

Well, Tom does Dallas and Arlington, the rest of Texas will have to wait until next time. I'm all excited. I get to (1)fly (2)go to texas (3)hang out with kelly (4)see a baseball game (5)eat lots of great texas food and do other fun texas things. Five great reasons to be excited, all packed into one weekend.

You'll be happy to know I've resolved my dilema, (you may not recall my dilema: wear a red sox hat at the rangers' home opener or get some ranger gear) I'm going with the sox hat, since after all I'm a sox fan, and I'd guess they'd be under represented in Arlington.

I have no resolved my footwear dilema, as I was going to get a new pair of running shoes but the store I frequent (infrequently) has apparently dissapeared. Right off the map. Nothing online, not even a defunct phone number. Just gone. This could be the start of the next Xfile movie. Shoe store: vanished.

The third dilema is that of the budgets. Normally not a big deal. They gave me one to finish for tomorrow, before I leave for the lone star state. Ok, I can handle that. Oh, wait, what's that? It's the GIANT FUND? the one with eighteen classes? That's going to take hours (normal budgets take at most hour singular) this one'll be three or four hours which sucks big time, cuz that means either skipping lunch today or tomorrow (or both?) and maybe staying late tomorrow. Worst idea ever. Who wants to stick around late on a friday before a long weekend trip to the central time zone? Not this cowboy.

Fourth (and final) dilema: Go out friday night or don't. This one has also been resolved. My original plan was to go party "I'm going to Texas!" "I'll drink to that!" sort of night. But. I am so tired. I've decided instead, to go home from work (at what I hope is the usual time) eat a small supper and then SLEEP. That way I'll be refreshed and ready to go for my grand texas adventure.

Til then,
-Tom

recommended download
Kenny Rogers, The Gambler
Del McCoury, All Aboard

Tell all your friends

I'm building an empire. An empire of blogger connections. You want in? deal. just leave me a comment and make sure your blog is worth reading.

aside to mightygirl: Hey mightygirl, I'm waiting one week for you to post a comment here, then I'm putting you in the "peopleiknow" section anyway.

tell all your friends. adina, I know you only have that one other friend besides me, you should tell her.

recommended download:
The Doors, People Are Strange (when you're a stranger)

Networking, creepy-stalkery style

Howdy, you may be here because you linked through a comment I left on your blog. Welcome. Thus begins my super blog networking extravaganza.

My name is Tom. I am envious of you, you bloggers out there with links to many other bloggers. Folks like defective yeti, whose sidebar of a thousand links actually has a thousand links (I counted). I too wish to be one of you.

But--

I would rather not just start linking arbitrary blogs, I would rather linking non-arbitrary blogs, blogs with whom I have established contact with the authors of. Right now, those people appear on my side bar under "peopleiknow" I want those numbers to grow.

So here I am. ready to network. to establish a collection of connections. ready to reach out and read something. Welcome to the sidebar.

-tom
recommended downloads:
Feeder, Insomnia

good idea, bad idea

So I stayed up last night to watch the Johnny Damon interview on Conan. Bad idea. It's not like I've been getting lots of sleep lately anyway. Last night, no exception. I went right to bed at the end of the interview, but that's only about six and a half hours of sleep.

And I'm the least extreme case. There are some people out there that don't have the luxury of sleeping until eight o'clock, they have to get up at six or something to get ready for work on time. Then there are the girls, who have like, hair and makeup and clothes to worry about too. How is everyone else supposed to function when I can't even make it with my few extra hours in bed?

Speaking of not getting enough sleep, someone who will remain nameless but you know who you are ;) didn't get much sleep either, but for entirely different reasons ;) ;) That reason, probably a good idea.

So this here's a shout out to the sleep deprived, the walking zombies, the too-tired-to-be-walking zombies, and everybody else out there feeling like you've got weights on your eyelids and sand in your brain. You're not alone, but knowing that won't help.

-Tom
recommended download:
Our Lady Peace, Lying Awake, Clumsy
Lucky Boys Confusion, Commitment
and
Avril Lavigne, Sk8er boi

ps. thanks to sam for reminding me to start listening to olp again
pps. shut up, I can like avril if you like maroon 5.

vote!

pick your favorite sub-header! or suggest your own! it's like a contest!

-tom
recommended download
Avril Lavigne, Let Go
Pushstars, Drunk Is Better Than Dead
The Darkness, Growing On Me
Marcy Playground, Hotter Than The Sun

Let's talk about totally freaking out

I lost my phone. This is a big deal. I spend about 0.00% of my day on the phone. Really, it's not a phone at all, it's a battery I charge up, and clip to my belt until it runs out, then charge again. But talk about freaking the hell out.

I lead a simple life. Leaving the house in the morning there are four things I bring with me, four things I know will get me through any situation that arises: my keys, my wallet, my chapstick, and my phone. That's it. I've got those things, I'm set. They're like, the pillars, the foundation my day is based on, so maybe you can imagine what happens when one of the pillars just goes missing. I start freaking the hell out.

I realized the phone was gone just as I stepped off the T. That is not a good situation to be in. Desperation hit me like an electric shock, turning and sprinting towards the train as it's leaving the station is something you've seen late commuters do, what you don't often see are those commuters trying to wedge their fingers in the doors of the train and pry them open as it is accelerating out of the station. Panic. The train was gone. My phone was on the train. My phone. Train. Freak the hell out.

My mind immediately tackles the problem, calculating how fast I can run, how far away the next station is, the chance that my phone has been pocketed by a less than upstanding commuter. Meanwhile my feet are on autopilot, and I end up in the office at my desk. Problem not solved. Where is my phone. My link to the outside world (sort of). My shiny silver walkie-talkie enabled cellular device. I miss it already.

Fire up the computer. mbta.com Track down the lost-and-found number. What do I tell them...um, it's on a train? No, I am detailed oriented. I am ready with the car number, with the time the train left with me off it and my phone on it, with the color, everything. Turns out, not necessary. Because while I'm firing up the computer, I call home. To say hey, I lost my phone on the T. But, please could you just sort of check that I didn't leave it on my bed because I forgot a pillar of my day-to-day life thanks.

Turns out, it was on my bed.
-Tom

wow. what a relief.

Are there people in your office that you couldn't survive without? Well, I'm sure you'd survive without them, but it would definitely take you a some time to adjust to an office without them. I don't mean the guy that orders your supplies, I mean the "beautiful people." These are the people that brighten up your day just by being there - and they don't necessarily have to be physically attractive to be beautiful.

Like, there's the complainer, he sits next to me. He took a few days off last week. I was beside myself with boredom and negative energy. Normally his complaining lets me see the nicer side of work. He's like a negative enegery black hole, sucking all the complaining, all the grumpiness, all of the bad elements of this environment into his cube, leaving the good ones exposed to be marvelled at. There's the Manager on the other side of the floor, she's just plain cute. Like a toddler or puppy would be cute. Dressed in spring colors all the time, smiling all the time. She makes people smile when they pass her in the aisles, spritely. Cute girl is one of the beautiful people. Anne, in our group is too, she's back from vacation.

Last week was tough, Anne and the sprite were both out for vacation. Last friday was tougher. Only Charlie the complainer was here. No other beautiful people. No outside reason to smile. Today I started to get worried, I knew Anne was supposed to come back, but what about cute girl, or the sprite, what if they'd quit! I was worried. Then, when I got back from my morning coffee run, I saw the sprite. Whew. I smiled without even thinking about it. And then, relief of reliefs, cute girl came back. She was training all morning. But now she's back. My day can go on. Thanks for coming back, beautiful people.

-Tom
recommended download
Green Day, St. Jimmy

PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

hey, has anybody noticed I changed the little thing that usually says "online journal" to something else? anyway, I did.

-Tom
recommended download:
Sister Hazel, Everybody

On ending relationships (with the opposite sex)

The West Campus Heartbreaker. That's a nickname Donny likes to kid me with. I picked it up last year. When I was breaking hearts, left and right, in west campus. Seriously, I could have had t-shirts made. It was never a goal, but it seemed to be an inevitable outcome. Why must I be so attractive to the opposite sex (females)? Sure I'm charming, handsome, funny, intelligent, modest, and some (very few) girls have wanted to date me - but why must it always end in heartbreak?

I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why because I think I've just figured it out. If you'd've asked me before, I would not have been able to tell you, now, I have a theory: I have problems. Mental ones. Psychological problems. I am driven to destroy relationships.

It's like this:
1. boy meets girl,
2. boy and girl find each other attractive,
3. girl thinks she wants to date boy,
4. boy (me) goes out of his way to be a jerk.
5. girl hates boy.
6. boy is vindicated.

See, because I've got it in my head that any relationship that is meant to be should hold up under strain. I therefore put undue strain on the relationship, and, if it survives, then clearly it was meant to be. (none have survived). It's very simple - if it was meant to be, then me acting like a jerk wouldn't be enough to stop it from happening.

But it gets better. I mean, hey, I'm sure a lot of guys have acted like jerks at some point, and they've still landed the steady girlfriend, here's where my biggest compulsion comes into play. I take the steps - I am compelled - to take the steps necessary to ensure that the relationship is so damaged, so overwhelmed by my ability to be a horrible human being that it can never, ever be salvaged. Like the time I thought I was being nice and sent a letter to this girl I liked, and it was so creepy she thought I was stalking her and almost called her three brothers to find me and beat me to death. (she didn't, but came very, very close). Or the time when just as this girl I was hanging out with was about to ask about "us" when I told her I really liked this other girl who wasn't her, or the topper, which many of you have heard about, when I told a girl I'd been seeing a couple weeks quote: "I feel nothing" That one got the entire staff turned against me, I didn't have a conversation with any of them for about four months.

I drive breakups into the ground. This is not an apology. This is an explanation. Sorry.

-Tom
recommended download:
Cowboy Mouth, How Do You Tell Someone


"Call me old fashioned, but I like a dump to be as memorable as it is devastating."
-Bender, Futurama

Ah, Productivity, my old friend, we meet again. How I loathe you. How have you been? Keeping busy, no doubt. And me? Well, I have tried famously to avoid you at all costs. I've even started an online journal to chronicle my attempts to thwart you and your buddy over there, Hard Work. Well, actually I don't so much chronicle as write something down whenever I can. It's a product really, of my inactive lifestyle. What was that? Why did I use the word "product?" Well, I... Oh, oh, I see. This online distraction is a "product" I've "produced" I have therefore been "productive." Why you crafty little devil. You haven't really been gone at all, have you. Just lurking aroud behind me where I can't see. No, that was my manager. Well, in any case, well-played you, well-played. I look forward to our next showdown. I'm sure that next time I shall be better prepared. Telephone with personal phone call against my ear, coffee in one hand, one foot out the door, sleeping on the job, and chatting away online. See ya, Productivity, old man, and tell your friend Results, I'll see her when I see her.

-Tom
recommended download:
Frank Sinatra, Luck Be A Lady

credit where credit is due

the way things work, the way things should work, and the way I want things to work are all different things. here's an example:

interest lines are due at the begining of the month. we have 30 days to clear them. after 30 days they are past due and that's a problem.

yesterday we got an email from hypermanager telling us (in bold caps) to clear the intrest lines on our funds before they're (dun dun dun) past due.

I only had one outstanding line, which I had already followed up on with the PA who followed up with the client, so it's out of my hands. and it was only 26 days old, so I'm ahead.

today victor didn't show up. they split up his funds, I'm covering an easy one. easy trades, nothing weird, so no problem. oh, wait, what's that? victor hasn't cleared any of his SIX interest lines? and THEY'RE ALL MORE THAN A WEEK PAST DUE? what the hell man!?

so that's my morning. where normally I'd be blogging or chatting online or just, you know, spacing out, I'm now doing real actual work that people in my position do. and, since there are a billion past due lines out there hypermanager and counterpart are helping. bam, bam, bam they make adjustments to funds, bam I find a missing rate, bam I find an incorrect accrual date, bam, bam, bam and we're all good. took maybe an hour of research and adustments. real, actual work. I'd feel accomplished. except for one thing. I took care of my responsibilities weeks ago. I was doing someone else's real, actual, work. and I'm letting you know now, that he won't hear one thing about it when he gets back, and next time pastdue lines roll around no one's going to say "hey Tom, good work on Victor's funds last time, thanks for the help." So really, it would make no difference if I'd slacked like crazy this month, not cleared up any lines, and waited until the last minute AND THEN CALLED IN. credit where credit is due, is all I'm saying.

-Tom
recommended downloads:
Oasis, Cigarettes & Alcohol

You're driving me insane! THIS IS HOW PEOPLE GO INSANE!

That's a quote from bobrauschenbergamerica, it's a really wonderful play. Anyway, things here at work are escalating. When I say "things" I mean "tension." Gail is out this week and now things are running less smoothly than normal. I don't know if this is a) because Gail is so good at what she does or that b) she's really an excellent buffer between us (the FAs) and management. I suspect it is reason b. For example: Our weekly yield checks generate an excel spreadsheet which we need to review for zeroes, (no zeroes = good). Hypermanager, however, insists on checking each and every field of the spreadsheet for possible errors. There are 18 fields for each stock owned for each fund. That's lots of checking for stuff that doesn't matter. Hey, manager, just check the last column for zeroes. But alas, as he checks the stuff that doesn't matter, he finds things that can be "more accurate" and tells us to fix them. Are there zeroes? No. Do we need to bother fixing stuff so that there are no rounding errors? Do we really need to update the date/time format so they all match? No. Get over yourself, hypermanager.

He also sent out an email today regarding interest payments on the funds. These payments are supposed to be made in the first week of the month, but have a grace period of 30 days. Anything over 30 days is pastdue and he freaks out. So now we have a list of 27 stocks to check because next tuesday they'll be "pastdue" which, of course, means the end of the world. Hey, hypermanager, how about you let the PAs worry about the interest payments, which is, after all, their job? (However, I did get a laugh out of the PA on one of my funds when I described hypermanager as "freaking out").

Anyway, I'm going insane. With the interest payment crackdown, yield check overwork, and the ever present AIM police attitudes the hypermanager is carrying around it's almost inevitable. I'm going to go insane or develop pogonophobia (fear of beards -thanks Tom).

-Tom
recommended download:
Green Day - When I Come Around
and
Oasis - Step Out

ps. adina, donny and I do not have very similar problems: his office has lots of work and everyone wants him doing it. my office has zero to do, almost no responsibility and a psycho manager who isn't content unless the entire office is stressed-out-to-the-max. but you are right, donny can handle the beautiful women, I def. can't

Gone to the dogs.

Ok folks, here's a cute picture.

This

is from ephemera, that photoblog in the links section
(right, like you haven't checked out that links section yet)
it's a good one.

-Tom

Loss

I don't have anything to write about, but I don't have anything to do either, so I'm writing.

Yesterday I wanted to cut my hair, all of it, off. Today I don't. I've been going back and forth on this for a little while now.

Yesterday I settled on the GMC Canyon compact pickup, 4x4 crew cab. 18.1mpg, $23K. The day before that I had decided on the volkswagen passat, awd, 17.2 mpg $24.5K. I've also decided on the Ford Explorer Sport Trac, the Audi A6 sedan, and the Chevy Tahoe.

I am now begining to wonder if my indecisiveness is a symptom of something. Is it the effect in some causal relationship? So far this effect has not affected me overmuch. I can deal with longer hair, I'll just need to buy some more of that hair stuff to control it, keep it out of my eyes. I don't have to decide on a car just now, I don't plan on purchasing one until the end of summer anyway.

Right now, it seems, it's just the car decision and the hair decision that elude me. Deciding on plans for the weekend, or what to have for breakfast happen easily. If this small bubble of indecisiveness grows, however, I will start some serious pondering.

-Tom
recommended download:
Bob Schneider, King Of The World

reading

I think this was supposed to be a joke, but seriously, how much does this sound like me?:

if we're talking about character strengths, mental strengths, then I'd say it has to be his concentration and multitasking abilities. While it may appear to you that he's browsing the Internet, or playing PS2 games in his office with his pants off, behind those sparkling eyes, his mind is working a mile a minute, perhaps juggling seventeen or eighteen different concepts: efficiency statistics, status reports, nonlinear algorithms, sales accounts, Portuguese poetry—


-Tom
recommended download:
AC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long

the wall

That's it. I've hit the wall. I can no longer function. Please forgive any typing errors. My muscles just gave up, I think the only things that are still working are my heart and the six or seven necessary tendons and muscles that operate the index finger. Oh, and the diaphram, I'm still breathing.

But that's it. Nothing else is working. My eyes are closed because I can't open my eyelids. I can't lift my head, the muscles in my neck aren't working, my head is lolling back and forth on my chair. My left arm is swinging listlessly at my side, fingers dragging on the floor. I've hit the wall.

I don't think it's anything but being really really tired. I'm not taking any medication thatmay cause drowsiness, I'm not inebriated, nothing like that, just really, very, physically, tired.

ugh.

What are you supposed to do in a situation like this? I was thinking about leaving, taking off, going home, but I can't. Physically. I couldn't get out of this chair even if I wanted to, nevermind make it all the way to the T. I'd fall asleep if I sat down on the train and I'd be out. Like a light. I'd be riding back and forth on the Orange Line until they kicked me out at Forest Hills at 12:45 tonight. That's no good. I think I'm just going to have to wait it out. Zone out, zone back in, struggle through the workday. [yawwwn]. Come on adrenaline.

-tom
recommended download
adrenaline - gavin rossdale