How Else Would A Phone Sound?

My manager called a group-wide meeting for this afternoon, today's the big day! Lateral promotion! Woo!

I am, in reality, much more excited than I should be about getting to work on a new group of funds.

There is, really, very little actually changing.
(1) new funds
(2) new manager

That's it. I'm not even changing desks (which is stupid, I'm two rows away from the rest of the group, but the difficulties in transferring a phone line from one desk to another in this building are, apparently, insurmountable. Folks go years under the wrong name in a directory even after an approved switch.

I don't really understand it, they're not physically running new phone lines or splicing wires to a different cubicle. They just have to update the directory and switchboard which is (or should be) saved on some database on a server in the IT department.

gr8thanxbai

Something like "Find: Tom" then "ReplaceLocation: 12F76, 14GH5" (I assume each cubicle has an undecipherable code referencing some 3D seating plan) and "ReassignExtension: 5-4433, 5-4843"

Right? I bet, in real phone systems, those three commands are all folded into one. It's all software (or should be). There shouldn't be a need to move hardware at all. And even if there is, the phone itself should be able to talk to the server routing calls. "Sup, router, it's Calvin, serial no. 12345558133463LB0.54 Here's the 411: I'm at a new desk! Send any calls 4 me this way now, k? gr8thanxbai"

Right? Easy. (Yes, my phone's name is Calvin)

Ok, so I wasn't planning on a phone rant. Sorry about that. The point is: Change!

-t

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Alexander Graham Bell Deserves A Punch In The Nose

I get twenty to thirty phone calls a day, our phone system tracks all incoming and (most) outgoing calls.

There's a little "Call Log" button on my phone that will bring up either the Incoming or Outgoing list, which makes returning a missed call easy, no memorizing extensions, or laboriously typing names into the phone's directory via number pad

--Outgoing Call Log side rant: Any outside number or internal extension dialed from the number pad is recorded in the outgoing call log. Calling your bookie? Number's saved in the phone. Calling the team leader for help? Saved in the phone. BUT the numbers dialed from the directory service are NOT saved. It goes something like this:

"I need to call Leroy Jenkins, but I don't know his extension. I will look it up."

Press [Directory], Press [5][3][6][5][4][6][7], Select "Jenkins," Select "Call." Talk to Leroy, hang up.

Then, remember one more thing you need to ask Leroy, hit [Call Log][Outgoing] and then stare dumbly as you realize his number is not on the outgoing log.

This might be a handy feature if you're a spy and you're trying to hide people you're talking to. If you place every call through the directory your Outgoing Call Log will be entirely blank!

This is NOT handy when you need to call Leroy back for a quick check on a trade detail and you have to type his ENTIRE NAME into the directory, AGAIN. End rant.--

So, of the thirty or so calls made and received every day invariably when I check my Incoming Call Log, invariably, the most recent call is from Buddy.

Buddy who seems incapable of executing any decision on his own, ever.

I get three phone calls from Buddy for every one call from someone who is not Buddy. My incoming call list looks like this:

BUDDY
BUDDY
BUDDY
SAM
BUDDY
BUDDY
CARL
BUDDY
BUDDY
BUDDY
SAM
BUDDY
BUDDY
TIM
BUDDY
TIM
BUDDY

[Ring] "Hey, I was just going to book that trade you told me to book...is that ok?"

[Ring Ring] "I just sent you an email"

[Ring] "The pricing team asked me to forward them an email...should I go ahead and do that?"

I am not exaggerating. These are conversations that actually happen.

Once-in-a-while he'll walk over to my desk, rather than use the phone, but only for really important matters, like

"Pricing team just called. They said that they were going to email me a possible cash break and that I should ask the cash team to take a look at it...Ok?"

OK!? I know that I sometimes show a lack of initiative, but Buddy is achieving new lows in don'-t-it-yourself-ism.

Yes, you can send a cash break to the cash team! You have my permission! To do your job! Gah!

-t

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Access Denied (Web-Based-Email)

Sometimes I sit at work and daydream about what it would be like to have a job that allows unfettered access to the internet. Then I start pricing Android phones.





-t

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Zur!

txting has become very important to me since I purchased a phone with QWERTY keypad. Quickly punching out respond-at-your-lesiure mobile-to-mobile queries is more valuable to me than email, IM, or voice.

No need to worry about interrupting someone with a voice call while they are earnestly trying to do something important (writing a blog post?); You don't have to worry about Ms Manners' email protocol, signatures, auto-inserts, or subject lines; and you don't need to worry about your recipient being "online" the txt hovers in the ether until they power up their phone.

No down side! Plus, they can't block it at work! (unlike gmail, AIM, facebook, etc etc)

And, if you're still stuck on a standard 1-9 alphabet layout T-9 txt entry can provide hilarious suggestions for your slang, in-jokes, and uncommon grammar.

I realize that, in the past, I may have belittled txting (I seem to remember a post written specifically to rail against the word "txting") but I'm writing now to let you all know that I have come around:

I <3 txting.


-t

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Axel F.

Suck it, Verizon software!

I've been trying for a while to set custom ringtones on my cell phone. This weekend, I finally got it.

The construction of the custom tone is a piece of cake. Take any mp3 file, upload to an audio editing program, chop it down to the bits you like, add echo, fade in, fade out, whatever you like, save it, transfer it via bluetooth to the phone and then...

Then it gets sticky. Verizon phones ship with crippled software. I can save the bluetooth transfer to my phone under "My Sounds" and play it whenever I want. I cannot, however, set it as a ringtone from the "My Sounds" section of the phone, no, the only way to get a new ringtone is to purchase and download over the air.

Until I figured out the workaround, that is.

Which is, actually, very simple. So simple, in fact, that Verizon really should just let me add the ringtone from My Sounds. All I need to do is select my sound, then send it to myself as an attachment to a text message.

When the txt arrives, it gives me the option to set the sound as a ringtone.

It's this whole other, entirely redundant step, built into the software. I have to send the file to my phone via bluetooth from the computer, then, send it to my phone via txt from my own phone.

Seems a bit ridiculous.

But now I've finally got the Beverly Hills Cop Theme playing for all incoming calls, and I couldn't be happier about it.

-t

PS - Did you know Beverly Hills Cop was the second highest grossing movie in 1984? The first was Ghostbusters. Two SNL alum movies in first and second place at the box office! SNL, how far you've fallen.

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