Doubting Thomas

Ok, I feel like I have to be honest with you, readers.



Watching this live, there was a split second, one tiny, minute, very, very, small, fraction of time when I thought, maybe, Coco wasn't going to catch this one. That, maybe, this ball was going to drop over his glove, and bounce.

It's right when he changes direction. You can see him making a beeline for this ball, and just as he reaches the track, curling out, toward the triangle.

This catch, I think, is both a demonstration of his reknowned speed and athleticism, and symbolic of his character: Crisp put it on the line, smashing into the wall, not because he's been playing there everyday, but in spite of being a defensive replacement.

I didn't see one interview with Crisp after the game. I saw Papelbon, Youkilis, and Pedroia on three different networks; I saw Ortiz and Ramirez; I saw Francona, Epstein, Werner, and Henry.

I'm gonna be pissed if Crisp doesn't walk away with the Gold Glove this season.

-t

I was looking for a highlight reel of Crisp's catches this season. I found this.

(and, ok, ok, there are a bunch of videos with Crisp on NESN. Way to go NESN! including some post-game interviews.)

Limiting Factors

I think I got a job offer.

My experience in the financial world has been limited to a year and a half at a giant, multinational, publicly-traded, mega-corporation filled with stupid people, and a smaller, are-we-or-aren't-we public or private, SEC-lawsuit-settling, hedge fund firm, with insolent and lazy people.

Recently I've been looking to find a new experience. Ideally one with a small company that employs smart people.

I've been interviewing with a firm that looks promising all this week, and yesterday they said they are prepared to offer me a position.

The didn't offer it to me, but they're prepared to. All communication is being routed through my recruiter.

I hate recruiters - but, again, my experience has been limited to the failed-analyst-turned-recruiter, and the thrice-fired-and-rehired recruiter.

On does nothing but pressure me "If you don't do exactly as I say in this interview you will seriously damage your reputation, burn your bridges, and eliminate any chance of you getting a job in this town ever again."

The other does nothing but call and leave rambling voicemails that eat up my cell minutes. He's like that girl you accidentally gave your real phone number to even though you knew you never wanted to see her again. "Well, ok, just leaving a message to check in. Just to ask if you're still happy with your job. And to see if you're still looking. So, why don't you call me sometime. We can meet in my office. Or maybe somewhere for lunch, if that's better for you. So, just call me. Or, send me an email if you want. I'll...I'll leave my phone number and other contact info for you again, just in case you don't have it... ... ..."

Gah.

Hey, maybe there are nice recruiters out there, and maybe there's a small group of financial professionals who are intelligent, nice, and good at their jobs.

But not in my experience.

-t

The Big Move

I'm moving in June.

Well, maybe.

Here's the thing. Whether or not I'm moving (from Boston, to a new city) is entirely dependent on a number of things that I have no influence over. Circumnstances beyond my control.

If things go one way, I'll be moving; if they go another, I won't.

I should know soon, maybe, but I don't know yet.

Which is why interviewing for a new job last week seemed a little weird.

"Hi, I'm Tom. I hated my first job so much I took the first thing that was offered to me when I was trying to leave. I hate that new job so much that I'm trying to leave after only five months.

But I promise this time if you hire me I won't hate your firm. Really. Unless I have to work with stupid people. Or insolent, lazy people. You don't have any of those types working here, do you?"

That was last week (a direct quote, btw), and I have been half-agonzing over this decision: What if they offer me the job? Do I take it knowing it's very likely I'll be moving in six months? What if they offer the job, I decline, and then don't move? Will I have opted out of the greatest job ever?

Only half-agonizing because I don't really want the job. My dream is to run a t-shirt printing business, so I'm more than certain finance isn't the way to go.

But it seems like a moot point. It's been three days and I haven't heard anything from the new company. Nothing from the recruiter who set up the interview, zip.

Which makes the decision to stay here, at a job I can come in any day of the week, sign on to gmail, and then play scrabble online all day, a pretty easy one.

They're paying me to goof around all day, and no one else is hiring?

I guess I'll stay.

-t
recommended download:
Foreigner, Head Games
Marcy Playground, America

Like ten thousand spoons on your wedding day

I just finished a monthly report.

Me. I did it. The whole report, totally by myself.

It's a good thing I finally learned how to do this part of my job, because yesterday I learned I'm being shifted to a daily cash group and will no longer be responsible for monthly reporting.

Yep. Now that I know what I'm doing, I won't be doing it anymore.

On the one hand, WOOO!! I don't have to ever work with Insolent Bob again.

On the other hand, I just did a whole report by myself! I'm getting moved just as I'm starting to get the hang of this!

Ironic? Unfair? Inevitable?

So if I stay, I'm in a new cash group, processing daily activity, and no Insolent Bob.

If the new company offers me the job I interviewed for, I'll be in a new cash group, processing daily activity, and no Insolent Bob.

-t

I should have just worn my flannel.

what's the big deal with suits, why do I have to wear one to interview?

I think it's stupid.

They're judging me, that's the whole point of an interview, right?

What can they tell if I'm wearing a suit? That I have the requisite knowledge and ability to both pay an enormous amount of money for a few folds of cloth, and then dress myself?

Dumb.

They should be evaluating my competency as an employee: Give me a math quiz or something - I can do that in jeans and a t-shirt just as well as in a suit, and maybe better.

That's not to say I don't like suits, I do, I look good in them (most of the time), but I shouldn't be required to wear one just to walk in the door.

My friend's boss would refuse to interview someone if they showed up without a jacket and tie.

But I'm not your puppet!

My recruiter asked me if I was wearing "appropriate attire" for the interview.

wtf, mate

I resolved a long time ago not to wear suits to interviews.
the job I want won't require it, the people that hire me for that job won't care.

But I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I said "Actually, a kid on the train spilled coffee all over it."

"Really? so you've got a small stain or something?"
"Nope. it's unsalvageable"
"Really, unsalvageable, huh? - You can't put your hands on another suit in the next half-hour? No? Ok, well, I'll call them and let them know about the...accident..."

sheesh.


I'm nobody's puppet. I went to the interview in a shirt-and-tie, talked to an HR person in a ridiculous one-piece corduroy skirt thing, and a VP in shirt sleeves and a windbreaker.

I didn't have a blazer - SOMEBODY ALERT THE EMERGENCY RESPONSE TEAM!

-t

Not quite an offer I couldn't refuse

per JS's lead: commentary in red

This morning I walked over to hypermanager's desk. "Can I talk to you - in the conference room?" I asked.

I shut the door behind us to ensure privacy Because that's how things are done around here. Heaven forbid someone else hears a conversation that will affect the group and said "I just got a job offer, and I'm going to take it - so I'm giving my two weeks notice."

Damn. That was awesome. I should quit my job every six months.

"So does that mean you'll be leaving on a Wednesday? Or will you be staying the extra two days and leave on a Friday?" What are you, kidding me?

"No, I'm leaving on the Wednesday." I'd be leaving right now if the two weeks weren't required.

And that was that. He didn't say a word. In two days he'd lost two seniors. Three weeks ago he lost an invaluable senior manager and hadn't even been offered an interview for the slot. Almost no reaction from hypermanager. Maybe he was in shock.

Half an hour later CancerFace the AVP cruises by my desk without stopping and calls "Can I see you in my office."
Note the period at the end of that sentence.

CancerFace and hypermanager are there waiting for me. CancerFace launches into his "So, tell me why you're leaving" speech.

I sit quietly. Because I'm not this guy's biggest fan. Also I'm trying to exercise some telekinetic influence over that lip of tobacco he's packing, because if he drooled all over his shirt right now that would make my whole week.

"You're a valuable member of this team, I don't like to see talent leave, especially to the competition."
Right, so it's a good thing you keep everybody around here happy enough that they never think of jumping ship.

"So, tell me, are you leaving for the money?"

"Yes, mostly the money. Also this is an opportunity for me to learn a new aspect of the mutual fund business." It's the money. Also, I hate it here. And, there are no windows.

"Well. Ok. We - Hypermanager and I- feel that you're not quite ready to step up to a management role here, that you need more experience - but I'm prepared to put you into that position now. I mean NOW."

You're offering to put me in a position with more responsiblity that I am even less qualified for? And you think that's going to make me stay? I'll be doing the exact same work I'm doing now for the next six months with a new title, then put in charge of a group that I don't have the ability to train? That's a solution?

I didn't say anything.

CancerFace then proceeded to bash the competition for a few minutes wrapping up with
"But I don't mean to bash the competition." How gracious of you.

CancerFace says:
"So if I go to HR now, and ask about matching this salary, whatever it is - and I'm going to have to check what you're making now, and what we can offer you - but, before I go to HR and ask them to match this offer I need a commitment to you, that if we match this you're going to stay."

Try not to laugh. Try not to laugh. Try not to laugh.

I say:
"I can't make that commitment."

He pauses. The bullying and competition bashing usually works for him, I'm sure. He doesn't like it when people tell him "no."

"Well, think about what it would take to get you to stay here. What it would take? Eighty-thousand a year. The stupid kid gone. Lurch gone. Pony Boy transferred out of the building. A competent manager to assist hypermanager. Better hiring practices, like making entrants pass an algebra quiz. And windows. You understand I don't mean "transfer to a floor with windows" I mean windows here, on the first floor." Unless you'd be willing to pay me to work at another company. And let hypermanager know."

Write my own counteroffer? Ha. I've got news for you buddy.

You can't compel me to stay. Not by loyalty, guilt, obligation, monetary compensation, or magic.


I'm out.
-t